There Goes My Life
by sweetishbubble
Summary: AH.Bella gets pregnant during senior year and Edward has a difficult time accepting it.
1. Chapter 1

_Hi all!_

_So, this is a re-write of my series Alone/Together/Thankful. It's so much better this time. Updates will happen at the same time as on Twilighted. It's not validated over there yet, but I decided to post over here, too._

_If you visit my profile, you'll see I now have a blog. Please check it out. You'll find teasers for upcoming chapters._

_Enjoy!_

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Chapter 1

**CharliePOV**

_What a long day_, I thought as I got into my cruiser. It wasn't a busy day, but most of it was spent catching up on paperwork and returning phone calls. At around two, I started to get an overwhelming feeling that I needed to get home. I couldn't figure out why, but it was definitely at the forefront of my mind. At around three, Bella sent me a text telling me she was home from her doctor appointment and that Alice was over. This was nothing new. The two of them were glued at the hip. That is, when she wasn't with Edward.

Edward Cullen, Alice's brother, was a good kid; athletic, smart, and polite. Traits like that were rare these days in teenagers. When Bella brought him over to introduce me, I thought I would have to worry. But she assured me they were being safe and that they were taking things slow. That didn't stop me from having "the talk" with her. To say we were both embarrassed and uncomfortable would be an understatement. I didn't know if she had already had this conversation with her mother, so I knew it had to be done. I wanted to make sure she heard it from one of us.

When I arrived home, I found Bella sitting in the living room. Her legs were pulled up to her chest and her head was buried in her hands. Alice was with her as well.

"Hey, Alice. What's new in your world?"

Alice gave me a weak smile. "Uh, call me later, okay, Bella?"

"Yeah," Bella said. It sounded like she was crying.

Alice left without saying a word to me, which was odd because she's usually so vocal. On any given day she would rattle on about anything and everything for a good half hour before she'd let me get a word in. I went into the kitchen to put my gear away and noticed dinner hadn't been started. This wasn't typical Bella when she wasn't working at Newton's. I walked back into the living room and sat in my chair.

"How was school, Bells?"

She didn't answer me. She didn't move. Something was wrong. First off, Edward wasn't here. Second, if something was bothering her, she'd be crying up in her room, not down here for me to see. I got up and sat next to her.

"Bells? What's wrong? Is it Renee?"

"No, it's not Renee," she said quietly.

"What is it? You can tell me."

"You're going to be..._mad_. Disappointed."

"No I won't. Did you fail a test or something?"

"No."

"Did you and Edward break up?" She didn't answer me, but I could tell her crying was heavier now. "Did something happen?"

"Yeah."

"Did he cheat on you?"

"No. I...I'm pregnant, Dad."

Pregnant? My Bella..._pregnant_? This couldn't be happening. All the air left my lungs and it felt like the room was spinning. Pregnant. My sweet little girl who was going to make a better life for herself than I did was pregnant? Where was Edward? Why wasn't he here?

"Oh," I said. I didn't know what else to say at that moment. What else _could_ I say? "Does Edward know?"

"Yeah. I told him today."

"What did he say?"

"He left. He told me to take care of it or whatever and left. He doesn't want me anymore, Dad. What am I going to do?"

"So let me get this straight," I said. "That little _prick_ gets you pregnant and then decides he doesn't want the responsibility?"

"Dad, please don't."

"Don't you dare defend him, Bella."

"I'm not. It's just...I'm so confused and hurt. I know you're upset and disappointed. I am, too."

"How far along are you?"

"Sixteen weeks. I'm due after graduation."

"What about your mother? Does she know?"

"Yeah. I called her after I got home. She hung up on me. I don't blame her. I feel so stupid. I mean, I know I am, but I feel it, too."

"I thought you guys were being safe?" I asked.

"We were. Every time..." she trailed off. "It was an accident. I didn't mean for it to happen. What am I going to do?" Bella looked at me through her teary brown eyes.

"Only one thing we can do. We need to talk with his parents; figure all this out."

"I can't, Dad. Not tonight. Please? I just want to sleep."

"The sooner we do this, the better. Let's go."

I wasn't going to let Bella go through this by herself. I needed to know what we were going to do; what Edward was going to do. I had heard a few weeks ago that he got into Northwestern University in Chicago. Bella had applied to some pretty prestigious schools as well: Penn State, NYU, University of Minnesota, but had yet to hear back from them. Why she applied to the University of Minnesota I had no clue, but she said their science program interested her. As we drove to the Cullen home, I knew all of this was no longer an option for her should she decide to keep the baby. I prayed she'd choose adoption.

"Charlie," Carlisle said after opening the front door. "What can I do for you?"

"Where's Edward?" I asked.

"Inside. Why?"

"Has he told you?"

"Told me what?"

Bella now joined me at the door. "Can we come in? I think we all need to have a chat."

"Sure."

Bella and I walked in and joined the rest of the Cullens in the living room. The minute Bella saw Edward, she turned to walk out the door, but I caught her arm and pulled her back. Edward looked just as uncomfortable.

"What's this all about, Charlie?" Carlisle asked.

"I think Bella has something to say."

"I can't," she said.

"Yes you can."

Bella took a deep breath, looked at me, then Alice, then Edward. "I'm pregnant."

No one said anything for a few minutes. I could hear Bella crying again behind me. Edward looked bored and was staring out the window. I felt like walking over to him and punching him for his lack of emotion, but figured that wouldn't get us anywhere.

"You're..._what_?" Carlisle asked. His hands were gripping the back of the chair that Esme was sitting in.

"Are you sure?" Esme calmly asked.

"She's already been to the doctor," Alice said.

"Edward, what do you have to say for yourself?" Carlisle asked.

Everyone was quiet as we waited for Edward to say something. Five minutes passed and he still hadn't said anything. Instead he turned his gaze from the window to the floor.

"He said he didn't...want me," Bella cried. "He said I just ruined his life."

"Edward," Carlisle said, "say something."

"What do you want me to say?" he finally said.

"That you'll be there! That you'll support her!" I yelled.

"How far along are you, dear?" Esme asked.

"Sixteen weeks."

"Ha! We weren't together then!" Edward said.

"Yes we were! Remember that weekend in Seattle?"

"Uh, _no_. I was in Chicago, remember? That's around the time you were messing around with James."

"I never did _anything_ with James! We were study partners for a project. _That's it!_"

"Sure you didn't. That guy's wanted you from the minute he saw you," Edward replied as he stood.

"But _I_ only want _you_!"

"How could you do this?" Edward asked.

"How could _I_? If I remember correctly, you were there, too."

"Why is it that you're just telling me now? Shouldn't you have noticed before?"

"I did notice. I thought maybe it was just stress from college stuff, so I gave it a few weeks. I wanted to make sure -"

"Yeah, make sure it wasn't _his,_" Edward interrupted.

"That's _enough_!" Carlisle shouted. "Who knows about this?"

"Just us. Bella hasn't told anyone," Alice said.

"And it _will_ stay that way. There's no way you're going to tell everyone that it belongs to me," Edward demanded.

"It? Try _them_."

"What?" I asked.

"The doctor did an ultrasound today, and said I was carrying twins," Bella said as she pulled an ultrasound picture from her pocket. I looked at it briefly before handing it to Esme, who then gave it to Edward.

"Well this just keeps getting better and better," Edward said.

"Fuck you, Edward," Bella said angrily before turning for the door. Alice and Esme followed behind her. I stood there, just watching the Cullens. Carlisle was standing by the large living room window; Edward was sitting on the couch; and his brothers, Emmett and Jasper were sitting on the stairs, shaking their heads.

"So? What do you plan to do, Edward?" I asked.

"I don't know."

"Better figure it out quick. But I am warning you, if you so much as tarnish her name or do anything to bring her more grief, you will be sorry."

"Right," Edward said smugly.

"_Do not test me, boy_."

**Bella's POV**

As I looked at the ultrasound pictures, I realized my life was already changing, although I couldn't yet tell if it was for the better or not. I didn't know what to do. Do I keep them or give them up for adoption? I was so young, so unprepared. I knew working at Newton's wouldn't allow me to give them the life I would want for my children. Yet, part of me didn't want to lose them. This was all so overwhelming.

Dad called Renee last night and was able to speak to her. He told her I was pregnant with twins. She flipped out of course and wanted to come and get me, but Dad told her that forcing me to uproot in the middle of senior year wasn't the best thing. He said she decided she was coming anyway, if nothing more than for everyone to sit down and attempt to talk like civilized adults.

_Like that'll happen,_ I thought to myself.

Everything was starting to crumble around me. The man I loved more than anything didn't want me; Dad looked at me with sad, disappointed eyes, but said he wasn't mad at me; Renee wouldn't speak to me period; and Alice kept saying things would work out. But how could they? I didn't want to do this alone, yet there seemed to be no hope that Edward would be by my side through any of this.

The next morning, I walked down the stairs, grabbed my backpack and keys for the trunk when Dad stopped me. "Honey, I know today is going to be hard. If you need me, just call. I'll come and get you, even if it's ten minutes after you get there."

"Thanks, Dad. I'm sure I'll be fine."

Charlie gave me a kiss on the cheek and ran back out to his cruiser, which was already running. I stood there for a moment and waited until he was gone before I went outside. Thank God it wasn't raining today. I climbed into my truck, put the key in the ignition and turned it. Nothing. I tried it again. Still nothing.

_Looks like you're walking,_ I thought to myself.

I thought about calling Alice, but decided against it. I needed the quiet to just think about what I needed to do to get through today. I knew it was going to be awful. When I finally arrived at school, I had roughly two minutes before the bell rang. I darted to my locker, grabbed my book, and ran to my first class. Edward was there, only not in his usual seat. Today he sat next to Tanya, a girl I despised more than Jessica. When Edward noticed me, he kissed Tanya on the cheek.

"Oh, Edward, you're so sweet," she said with a smile, while looking at me.

I took my usual seat in the back and prayed today would go by fast. It took every ounce of courage I had to keep from looking and talking to Edward. I couldn't even talk to Alice. My morning sickness coupled with anxiety was not a good thing. I ended up spending my lunch hour in the bathroom. I wasn't hiding - not completely - but I did throw up a few times from the smell of the food. It was a few minutes before the bell when I heard the bathroom door open.

"Did you hear about Edward and Bella?" I recognized the voice as Jessica.

"Yeah. I heard they broke up. How sad," Angela said.

"I heard she's pregnant and doesn't know whose it is."

"What do you mean?" Angela asked.

"You remember when Edward was gone a few weeks ago? Well I heard she was dating some other guy on the side and now she doesn't know who the father is."

The door opened again, but I didn't hear any footsteps.

"What did Edward say?"

"He dumped her right on the spot!" Jessica laughed.

"Shut your mouth!" another voice said. It was Alice. "You have absolutely _no idea_ what you're talking about!"

Angela and Jessica hurried out of the bathroom. A second later there was a light tap on my bathroom stall door.

"Go away," I said.

"Bella, please? You haven't talked to me all day."

"He already has another girlfriend!" I cried. "Tanya of all people!"

"No, they're not dating. I would know."

"But he kissed her right in front of me."

"Bella, please, open the door."

I sat there for a moment, then walked out. She immediately put her arms around me and let me cry. Out of all the Cullens, she was the only one who still talked to me. I didn't understand that. It wasn't like I did this to Emmett, Jasper, or Rose. Why did they have to dump me, too?

"What am I going to do?"

"You are going to wash your face, walk out of here with your head up and not let him know he's getting to you. And, you're coming over tonight, too."

"Alice, I really don't want to."

"Oh relax, Edward won't be there. He's with Carlisle doing something. I'll have you out of the house before he comes back."

"Fine," I said in defeat.

I splashed some water on my face, grabbed a towel, and walked out with Alice. People looked at me, and I wasn't sure if it was out of sympathy, or if they were just curious. Either way, I didn't want the attention. In Biology, Edward sat next to me, but didn't look or talk to me. Inside I was crumbling. How would I get through these next twenty-six weeks without him? I wanted to crawl into a hole and disappear.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello again! **

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****Big thanks to my pre-readers piperann_25 and Shadowed by Passion**

There Goes My Life - Chapter 2

I thought after a week had passed people would settle down, but no such luck. Every time I walked into a room, people looked at me differently. I could only image how they looked at Charlie. He was so well respected in the community and I worried that all of this had tarnished some of that. He never expected me to be perfect and I knew this was taking a toll on him, especially since I still hadn't figured out if I was keeping the twins or placing them up for adoption. I knew I needed to make up my mind soon, but it was difficult. They were a part of Edward and me. I wasn't sure if I was strong enough to just hand them over to a stranger.

Edward and I were still barely speaking. He had apologized for causing me to get so upset the day I found out I was pregnant, but that day changed everything. The man I loved so dearly broke my heart into a million pieces, and I wondered if that could never be mended. The words he spoke, and his actions, were unforgivable. I hated him for it. Granted, I wasn't expecting him to be excited, but I never expected him to deny them and basically call me a whore.

Sitting in Biology before the start of class, I was looking over the notes from the day before when Edward sat down next to me. "Can I look at your notes from yesterday? I think I missed something."

"Why should I do you any favors?" I asked. Ever since word got out that I was pregnant, he hadn't come to my defense when people pointed and stared or made comments in front of me. I hated feeling like I was going through this alone.

"Please? I think we're having a quiz today."

"Should have been paying attention rather than day dreaming about Tanya," I said as I shoved my notebook in my bag.

"Bella, do you want me to fail?"

"Yes," I said coldly.

He was quiet for a moment while he stared at me. "So...how are things?"

"Like you care."

"Is that how it's going to be?"

"Yes."

"You're so damn stubborn," he said shaking his head. I wanted to smack him across his face for speaking to me like that. I know I was no better, but felt I had every reason. He was able to do whatever he wanted while I had to figure out what to do with the two lives I was carrying. It didn't seem fair to me.

Just then Mr. Banner called the class to order and started handing out a pop quiz. I chuckled when Edward groaned. I finished mine quickly, but Edward took the entire hour to finish his, as did a few others in the class. I decided that I would use my time somewhat productively and pulled out _What to Expect When You're Expecting_ and a book on twins. Edward glanced over a few times and shook his head. After class ended, while I was putting my books back in my bag, Mike walked over to our table.

"Bella, a bunch of us are going to a movie tomorrow night. I was wondering if you'd like to go?" he asked.

"Um, I'll have to check with Charlie."

"Cool."

"Why the sudden interest? I mean, most of our friends don't -"

"You're still my friend, Bella," he said interrupting me. I was happy that I still had one friend that cared enough to want to be seen with me.

"Thanks." I pushed back the urge to cry in front of Mike and Edward, which was difficult since I cried at the drop of a hat most days. I grabbed my bag and started walking out when I felt Edward's hand on my arm.

"Bella," Edward said. I turned and looked at him. He wanted to say something, I could tell, but Tanya rushed over to us and Edward dropped my arm.

"Hey, baby," Tanya said. "Walk me to my next class?"

"Sure." As he walked away, I felt confused. I wondered what Edward wanted to say to me. I hated that he was hanging around with Tanya. That girl was the school and town slut, and everyone knew it. She had been with just about every athlete in the school and a few coaches. Just looking at her made me want to throw on a Haz Mat suit and take a bath in Purell. Her mother was the same way, even though she was married. The current rumor going around was that her mother had been caught at the local motel with a prominent government official. I wondered why her father hadn't divorce her mother yet, but later learned from Dad that he traveled for his job so chances are he didn't know what his wife and daughter were doing while he was away.

That afternoon when I came home, my parents, as well as Edward's were waiting for me. _This can't be good, _I thought to myself. I knew Renee was coming; I just didn't expect her so soon. I wasn't looking forward to whatever they had planned. All I wanted was to go upstairs, get through my homework and go to sleep. Somehow I knew I wouldn't be doing that for a while.

"Bella, can you come in the kitchen, please?" Charlie asked.

"What's up?" I replied as I sat at the table.

"We just wanted to see how things were going with you and Edward," Esme said. "Have you had a chance to talk things out yet?"

I thought about telling them what happened in Biology and how Edward had approached me, but decided against it. It was probably a fluke anyway. "No, but I called a few places today during my free period."

"Who did you call?" Carlisle asked.

"There are a few adoption agencies in Seattle. I have an appointment with a few of them next Tuesday." I hoped Dad wouldn't get mad that it was a school day, but I needed information on adoption.

"So you've decided on adoption, then?" Esme asked.

"I won't make my decision until I've explored every possible choice."

"And after you've spoken with Edward," Charlie said.

"He doesn't seem to care, so why should I care what he thinks?"

"He'll come around, Bella," Esme said.

"Yeah, just in time for spring when they're due. Then maybe he'll be around a bit for the summer, but come fall, he'll be in college. Then what?" I wasn't sure if Edward would stay because he _wanted to_ or because he _had to_ if I kept the babies. I could feel the tears coming again but fought them back. I didn't want them to know how much I was hurting inside.

"He's not going away to college if the two of you decide to keep the babies," Carlisle said with a stern look on his face.

"What?"

"I'm not paying for Edward to go to Northwestern while you're stuck here with the twins."

"But he's worked so hard. I don't want him to miss out on that."

"Wait a minute. It's okay for you to give up your scholarship to Minnesota, but it's not okay for him to not go to Chicago? That doesn't make sense, Bella," Charlie said.

"When did you find out that you got into Minnesota?" Renee asked.

"I found out yesterday." I looked over at the acceptance letter hanging on the fridge as Carlisle walked back into the living room.

"Well there goes that thought," Renee said under her breath.

"Why does this feel like you all are ganging up on me? This isn't just my fault, you know."

"We know that, Bella," Charlie said.

"Have any of you even talked to him about this? Yelled at him? Anything?"

"Of course. His response is that he'll agree to whatever you want to do," Esme said.

"That's convenient. Leave the tough decision to me so he can resent me later on."

"Bella, honey, I know we had the sex talk a while ago, but did you not remember anything I told you about protection?" Renee asked. I could not believe she was asking me this in front of Dad and Esme. Talk about mortifying.

"Yes. We used protection, but it broke, okay? It wasn't like we purposely did this. I know you all are disappointed in me, but please, back off. I don't know what I'm going to do and I could really use some support," I said as the tears filled my eyes.

Just then, there was a knock at the front door. I stood to answer, wiping the tears from my face.

"Hey," Edward said. Tanya was with him, of course.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"Carlisle asked me to come over."

"What part of 'come over by yourself so we can talk' did you not understand?" Carlisle asked over my shoulder.

"Sorry, she insisted."

"For goodness sake, Edward, grow a pair," I said.

"Pretty strong words for a knocked up, unwed teenage mother," Tanya said with a smirk on her face.

My anger took over, and I tore open the screen door. I wanted to smack her, but Carlisle pulled me back in the house. "Calm down, Bella. It'll be okay."

"Baby, how long is this going to take? We're supposed to meet up with Em and Rose for a movie," Tanya whined.

"If you can't take this seriously Edward, then go," I said.

"Bella," Carlisle said.

"No, really! If he cared even one ounce, he would have come alone. But, oh no! He had to bring _her_."

"Edward, you will come in and you will participate in this discussion," Carlisle said.

"Fine," he mumbled.

"But -"

"Just wait here. I'll call Rose and she'll come and pick you up," Edward replied.

"Can't I just take your Volvo?" Tanya asked.

"Absolutely not!" Carlisle said. "Now get in here!"

Edward reluctantly came in and plopped down on the sofa. Tanya sat on the porch and started messing with her phone.

"Happy now?" he scowled at me.

"Yes, because there's nothing more I want than to see you miserable," I fired back sarcastically.

"Well then you've succeeded."

"Now, whatever has caused this riff is between the two of you ends now," Carlisle said. "It was only a few weeks ago when we couldn't keep the two of you apart and now look at you."

"Maybe if she wouldn't have cheated, we'd still be the same way."

"I didn't cheat! James and I hung out a few times to work on a school project! Nothing happened!"

"Well, with all the rumors going around, it's hard to keep up."

I couldn't hold off the tears this time. "I hate you Edward Cullen!" I cried as I ran up to my room.

I was awoken the next morning by Charlie, who was shaking me. "Bella, wake up," he said.

"No," I moaned.

"It's already a quarter after seven. Are you staying home today?"

"Can't I stay in bed another hour?"

"Sure. I'll have a note for you downstairs."

He kissed my forehead, set my alarm and walked out. He was the best dad ever. There was a note from Renee saying she was at the hotel and to call her after school. I was surprised that she didn't bother me last night after Edward left. After I had gone to my room, I could hear the raised voices downstairs. I was happy that Edward was getting his ass handed to him by everyone, since that's exactly what I wanted to do.

School that day went by quickly, for which I was thankful. Edward and I didn't speak in Biology. He could go to Chicago now for all I cared. I also turned down Mike's invitation to the movies, even though I really wanted to go. Mike and Angela had been the only two friends that had continued to speak to me since everyone found out about my pregnancy. I didn't understand why, really. It's not like they were affected by it.

"I wouldn't be very good company tonight," I said.

"It wouldn't bother me," he said.

"Mike, you're a good friend, but really, I don't have the courage to be around the others."

"We can go by ourselves."

"Some other time, Mike."

"Okay," he replied quietly as he walked away.

Later that afternoon, after classes were done, I was standing with Alice by my truck when Tanya walked over. I had the overwhelming urge to run her over with my truck...twice.

"Hey, Alice, your brother wants to know if you need a ride?" she asked.

"No, tell him I'm going with Rose."

"Okay. Bella, I have a message for you as well."

"What message?"

"It's from Edward. He would tell you personally, but he thinks this is the best way."

"Um...okay?"

"He wants you to leave him alone. You and your dad. He says you're doing nothing but ruining his life and wants you to know that if you decide on adoption, he'll sign whatever papers you need him too. And since I have no plans to break up with Edward, I'd just like to say that maybe you should drop out of school and focus on working. It's not just his life you're ruining. My reputation is at stake here, too."

"Your _reputation_," Alice said, "is nothing more than some cheap girl who's been with half of the school. Don't listen to her Bella."

"Can I ask one question? Why are you telling everyone the babies are his? Is it just because his family has money? Because if you keep them, he says there's no way you're getting a dime. So maybe you should drop out. It would probably be better in the long run."

I was so stunned I couldn't move. _Was what she was saying true? Was that how he really felt about me?_ I still couldn't believe that six months ago I was dreaming of being his wife. Now I wanted nothing more than to see him strung up from an old oak tree.

"Oh, one more thing," Tanya said. "Esme told me this morning that she likes me better for a daughter-in-law than you. Just thought I'd pass it along."

Before I could say anything, Alice had knocked Tanya to the ground. The two of them were rolling around for a good five minutes before they were pulled apart. Alice didn't have a scratch on her. Tanya, on the other hand, had blood pouring out of her perfect little nose.

The two of us jumped in my truck and tore out of the parking lot without saying a word.


	3. Chapter 3

HI! seriously you guy - the reviews are crazy! I'm so happy you're enjoying this.

But I do need to say that the updates -while fast now - will slow down at some point. I have about 5 chapters done, and am working on 6 at the moment. Plus, I'm working on my other fic Autumn in New York.

I work with some amazing betas at Project Team Beta and we're looking for new ones! Check out our site and fill out a beta app! www(dot)projectteambeta(dot)com

Don't forget - teasers will be on my blog! http:/ sweetishbubblescrazyword (dot) blogspot (d0t) com/

thanks to therunaway for validating and SM for creating this world that we all get to play with.

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There Goes My Life Chapter3

**AlicePOV**

"Is Edward home yet?" I shouted as I walked in the house. My hand was throbbing from making contact with Tanya's face, yet I hardly felt it since I was so livid with her. _Edward is a dead man when I see him._

I walked into the kitchen, grabbed a towel and some ice and put it on my hand while I waited for Edward to come home. Emotionally, I was exhausted. Spending three hours with Bella trying to get her to calm down was not the easiest thing to do these days. Plus everything I was planning on saying to Edward kept swirling around in my head. I knew there was no way Esme would have said such a thing.

"What did you do to your hand, my precious?" Jasper asked me.

"I punched her!"

"You punched Bella?" he asked, shocked.

"_No_. Like I would do that. I punched Tanya. She deserved it. The things coming out of that girl's mouth...I've never been a violent person, but I just couldn't stop myself, Jasper."

"Alice, you shouldn't have done that."

"I don't care! You should have heard her! She was being beyond mean. She was _cruel_." I didn't regret punching Tanya. In fact, I'd do it again if she was in front of me. Someone needed to stand up for Bella.

Jasper softly kissed my cheek, causing my heart to skip a beat, before looking down at my hand and saying, "You should probably show that to Carlisle. It doesn't look right."

"I'll show him in a minute. Where did I put my cell phone?"

"Who are you calling?"

"Edward. He needs to get his butt home!"

"I've already done that," Carlisle said, walking over to us. He carefully took my hand in his and looked it over. After a few minutes, he said it was just a deep bruise, and that he didn't think I broke anything. Jasper brought me some Tylenol to help with the pain as Carlisle wrapped my hand.

"You know I do not like violence, Alice, but I understand you did it for Bella."

"Well someone has to stand up for her. It's not like Edward is."

"That's very kind of you, Alice, but please, no more fights. There's no need to lower yourself to her level."

"I'm sorry. I won't do it again," I promised.

About an hour later, everyone was in the living room watching television when Edward returned home. Thankfully, he didn't bring Tanya with him. I couldn't wait to hear what he had to say. I'm sure he'd have some lame-ass excuse as to why he was with Tanya rather the soon-to-be mother of his children, and truthfully nothing he could say would make it better, anyway.

"_Alice_!" he shouted as he walked in.

"Yes?" I replied calmly from the couch.

"You broke her nose!"

"Really? Bummer." I couldn't help the chuckle that escaped my lips. I would have to get Emmett a thank you gift for showing me how to throw a right hook.

"It's not funny."

"Edward, have a seat," Carlisle said.

"Why? Please don't tell me we need to talk..._again_."

"Yes, but this time it's about Tanya. You are not going to see her again."

"_Why?_" he asked angrily.

"Do you have any idea what she said to Bella and how long it took me to calm her down?" I asked.

"What did she say?"

I spent the next twenty minutes telling Edward and the rest of my family what had gone down at school. Everyone sat in shock.

"How dare you, Edward! We raised you better than this," Esme said.

"I never said those things," Edward calmly said.

"Edward, you're my brother and I love you, but seriously, stop all this crap with Tanya. She's only adding fuel to the fire," Emmett said. "Bella's a smart, beautiful, and funny girl who's going to have your babies. Your focus should be on her, not Tanya."

"What happened between the two of you?" Esme asked.

"Esme, she...she _cheated_."

"_She did not cheat on you_! I was with her the whole time," I said. "James only started that rumor to get you mad. He's still pissed that Bella's with you and not him. _Duh_."

"Besides, you know Bella would never do that. She loves you too much," Rosalie said.

"She still does, even though she hates you right now," I said.

"It's only a matter of weeks before those babies come. She's keeping them, you know," Carlisle said.

"What?"

"I talked to Charlie this morning. He's going to help her with them, as well as Renee and Phil."

"So she gets to decide without me?"

"When was the last time the two of you talked? Really talked?" Carlisle asked again.

Edward didn't answer and no one moved until the doorbell rang a few minutes later. Carlisle answered and returned with Bella in tow.

"Hey, Bella! What are you doing here?" I asked.

"You left this at the house," she said, handing me my cell phone. Her eyes were still red and puffy, making it plainly obvious that she had been crying since I had left her house. I felt awful for her.

"Thanks. I was wondering where that went."

"No problem. Well, I'll see you tomorrow." She hesitated for a moment before she turned to leave.

"Bella, wait," Edward said.

"Edward, I'm really not in the mood at the moment. I'm not feeling well and my back and feet hurt. I really just want to go home."

"Please?" he asked again.

"What?" she asked as she turned to face him.

"Are you really keeping them?"

"I've thought about it. Why?"

"Just...wondering."

"Right. You're wondering if you'll be able to go to Chicago, right? Wondering how this is going to screw up your perfect little life? Well, don't worry about it, I've got it covered. I'll call you when they're born," she said.

"That's not it –"

"Save it, Edward," Bella interrupted. I noticed she placed one hand to to the small of her back, while the other started rubbing her forehead. "I don't have the energy to argue tonight."

When Bella turned again to walk out, she fainted. Thankfully Edward caught her before she hit the floor. Carlisle went rushing over to them as Edward gently laid her floor. Something was clearly wrong here.

"Esme, call an ambulance," Carlisle instructed. Then, turning his attention to Edward, he barked, "Do you see now? Do you see how _real_ all of this is?"

"I'm...I'm sorry Carlisle."

"Don't apologize to me, Edward."

An hour later we were all sitting in the waiting room at the hospital. Edward's legs were shaking in anxiousness in his chair while Carlisle sat and glared at him. We all hoped this had put the fear of God into him. Charlie had arrived about twenty minutes ago and was with Bella in her room. None of us knew if she was alright.

"Go talk to him," Jasper whispered to me.

"What am I supposed to say?"

"Anything. Just get him to calm down. You know he only listens to you when he's like this."

I stood and went to sit next to Edward. "You okay?" I asked him.

His cell phone was buzzing, but he didn't answer. I picked it up from the table, only to find several text messages from Tanya. _Persistent little bitch_, I thought.

"Are you going to answer them?"

"No," Edward said quietly.

"Why not?"

"Because I'm thinking."

"About?"

"Everything."

"Good. It's about time."

"Alice, please. I –" Edward stopped mid sentence as Charlie walked over to us.

"How is she?" Esme asked.

"Fine. Her sugar level was just low. Bells said she didn't eat much today. Said she was too upset. They're going to do an ultrasound just to make sure the babies are alright."

"Can she have visitors?" Edward asked.

Charlie glared at him, then gave a heavy sigh. I wondered if he knew Edward was the reason Bella had been upset. "Yes."

"Is it alright if I go talk to her?"

"Are you sure that's a good idea, Ed?" Emmett asked.

"Why don't you wait until she's home?" Esme asked.

"Because I need to talk to her. Now...I promise I'll be nice."

"Fine. She's in the third room on the left. If you upset her again –"

"I won't."

_Oh to be a fly on Bella's wall..._

**Bella'sPOV**

"Mom, I'm fine. Really," I said into the phone. I had been telling her I was fine for the last thirty minutes until Phil finally took the phone away from her. Whoever had the bright idea of calling her should be hanged in the middle of the desert by their eyelashes. I knew she was worried, but I was in good hands here. Part of me wanted to blame this on Edward, but I knew it was my fault. I should have eaten. I couldn't keep doing things like this. I knew that these two little precious lives inside me were more important than crying over Edward.

I lay in my uncomfortable bed and watched the baby monitor that was connected to my belly. All of this was overwhelming: fetal heart rates, kick counts, ultrasounds. Sure, I'd been reading, but going through it was another thing. I was 22 weeks and as big as a house.

I needed to make my decision soon as to what to do with them. I had already spoken with Charlie and Renee and they had offered to help support us. Still, I wasn't completely sure yet. Part of me was still holding out for a turn-around from Edward. Part of me knew he would never act like this. But whatever his reasons, I wasn't going to easily forgive him. I couldn't. He had hurt me too much and too deeply. I shouldn't be lying in this room by myself. He should be here, holding my hand, telling me everything will be fine even if I didn't believe him. But no, I'm alone...again.

There was a knock at the door, and I assumed it was just the nurse taking me for my ultrasound.

"Come in."

I was shocked when I saw him. Truly shocked. Edward looked scared, angry, and upset. His hair was a complete mess, so I knew he had run his hands through it at least a half dozen times. His green eyes were puffy and red, no doubt from rubbing them in frustration.

"Hi," he quietly said.

"Hi."

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah. Is my dad still here?"

"He's with Carlisle and the others," Edward said.

He stood against the wall opposite from me, but never took his eyes away from mine. There was so much I wanted to say to him; so much that _needed_ to be said. But given his body language, coupled with my exhaustion, I chickened out.

"How's Alice's hand?" I finally asked.

"Bruised, but not broken. You should be eating," he said as he motioned to the tray of food in front of me.

"I'm not hungry."

"Why do you have to be so damn stubborn?"

"You're one to talk." He was quiet again, and looked out my window. "You don't have to be here, you know. I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself."

"If that were true, Bella, you wouldn't be here."

"You know where I should be, Edward? I should be with you, in your bed, with your hands on my belly feeling our children move inside me. Instead, you're with that vile Tanya. You could have chosen anyone else in school, but her?"

"She was there at the time."

"Have you slept with her?" As much as I didn't want to know, I had to ask. It would change everything if he had.

"No."

"Have you wanted to?"

"Are we being honest here?"

"Yes."

"Then...yes. There have been a few times –"

"I don't want to hear specifics," I interrupted.

"You asked."

"Do you love her?" He didn't answer. "Edward, do you love her like you loved me?"

"No."

"You're lying. I can tell."

"Maybe I am."

"Then maybe you should go." I was getting irritated with him. If he wasn't going to be completely honest with me then I didn't want to be around him. Not tonight.

There was another knock on the door. This time it was Charlie, Carlisle, Esme and my doctor.

"Ready for your ultrasound?" my doctor asked, pushing a wheelchair.

"Sure."

"Good. Once that's done and we check your sugar levels again, you can go home. So, who's going with you?"

We all looked at each other. It seemed like Esme was hoping I'd ask her. I would have, if Edward wasn't there.

"Edward will be," I said. Maybe if he saw them on the screen, he would change his ways. My doctor unhooked the monitors from me and helped me into the wheelchair.

When we got to the ultrasound room, I was overwhelmed. I was really going to see the two little things inside me. My doctor stayed with us as the technician did her work. I could just make out the shape of my babies. It was amazing how something so tiny had grown so fast. I was mesmerized.

"They look good, Bella."

"Can you tell what I'm having?"

"I thought you said you didn't want to know?" my doctor asked.

"I don't. But I am curious."

"I'll tell you if you really want to know."

I looked at Edward. His eyes were wide and glossy.

"Edward, do you want to know?" I asked him.

He just shook his head. I swore I saw a tear or two in his eye. Maybe this was finally making him realize how real this all was. I decided against finding out the sex of the twins and let the technician finish her job. A short while later, we returned to my room which was crowded with Charlie and the Cullens waiting for our return. Esme, Rose and Alice came over, immediately asking to see the ultrasound pictures.

"You feeling okay, kid?" Charlie asked.

"Yeah, just tired."

"I'm sure they'll let go home soon."

Edward's phone rang again. "Tanya..." he answered. "No, I'm at the hospital with Bella...No, I can't come over tonight...because she needs me here...fine, I'll call you later."

"I'm surprised you didn't bring her with you," I said.

"I thought we talked about her," Carlisle said.

"We did. But I didn't answer any of her other calls or text messages –"

"Just go, Edward! She's obviously more important then we are," I said.

Edward went to the door. "You have no idea how wrong you are," he said before he walked away.


	4. Chapter 4

You guys crack me up. You wanted to do everything from smack Edward, to kicking him in the balls (there's a line forming for that) and even give him an STD! You guys are funny, and I love that!

Thanks to my pre-readers piperann_25, Shadowed by Passion and KannnD.

* * *

There Goes My Life

Chapter 4

**BellaPOV**

A month had passed since I had fainted. It had been a scary wake up call, but apparently I needed it. It wasn't like I could forget to eat now. It seemed like every half hour my stomach was telling me it wanted food. I started craving the oddest things: Doritos and ketchup, fries and vanilla ice cream, and olives. Before I was pregnant, I wasn't fond of olives. But these days, I wanted them all the time. It was crazy, and Charlie knew better than to eat them. He tried it once, but I slapped the jar from his hand, causing it to fall to the floor, and made him buy me a new one. Since that day, he hasn't touched them.

I had also sat down and spoken with Dad, Mom and Phil, who were on speakerphone, to talk about the twins. I needed to make my final decision about them. Again, they assured me that if I decided to keep them, they would help out as much as they could. After seeing the twins during the ultrasound, I had made the decision. I had this overwhelming need to take care of them, and I instantly fell in love with them. I knew my parents had been disappointed when they had learned I was pregnant, but after the initial shock wore off, they became nothing but supportive of me. Dad and I had already gone to the local secondhand store and purchased a crib and a changing table that were in really good condition. All Dad had to do was re-stain them. I also began stocking up on diapers and wipes. I knew I would need quite a bit more, but I figured I had some time to get more. Now I just needed to stock up on courage and tell Edward and his family about my decision.

Edward would talk to me only when Tanya wasn't around, and even then, it was a few words at most. New rumors were swirling around school that I faked the whole fainting thing. I had no doubt they were started by her royal highness. I ignored them and Edward most of the time. It made my life easier that way. However, when I was alone in my room, I was still emotional about everything. Sometimes all I wanted was for Edward to wrap his arms around me and tell me he still loved me. Sometimes all I wanted was just a smile from him, but it never came.

Since I couldn't drive my truck to school anymore, thanks to my ever expanding belly, I would get rides from Emmett and Rose since their car had more room than Alice's.

"Hey, Bella?" Emmett asked one day on the way to school.

"Yeah?"

"It's Esme's birthday tonight, and she wanted to know if you would come to her party. It's just going to be the family."

"Emmett, I don't think that's such a good idea."

"Why not?" Rose asked.

"I don't think Edward likes it when I'm around, and I don't have the energy to yell at him anymore. Plus, it's Esme's birthday. I don't want to ruin it."

"But Esme really wants you there. I promise I'll keep Edward in line," Emmett said before pouting. He knew I hated it when he did that.

"Fine." I scowled. "Just don't expect me to get dressed up."

That night, Dad dropped me off at the Cullen house on his way to his night shift. I was exhausted from school, and all I really wanted to do was sit at home with my feet up and eat olives, but since it was Esme's birthday, I couldn't back out. I was greeted at the door by Carlisle and Esme.

"I'm so glad you came," Esme said as she hugged me.

"Thanks for inviting me. I'm sorry I didn't have time to get you a gift, but it's so hard getting around these days."

"Don't worry about a gift. You came, and that's all that matters," Esme replied with a smile.

Behind us, we heard a car pull up, followed by a car door opening. I didn't want to look to see who it was because I had a good idea who had gotten out of the car. _There went a peaceful evening._

"Happy Birthday, Esme," Tanya said as she got out of her car.

"Thank you."

I couldn't believe she was here. Did she honestly think she was part of the family, or had I gotten it completely wrong? Maybe what she and Edward had was real. Maybe what Edward and I had was truly done and over with. If that was the case, I wanted – and needed – to hear it from Edward.

"Tanya," Edward said from behind Carlisle a few tense moments later, "what are you doing here?"

"I came to give Esme her gift. More importantly, what is _she_ doing here?"

"Bella was invited," Esme said.

"Unlike _some_ people!" I heard Alice yell from the doorway. It was kind of funny how badly Alice hated her.

"Edward, aren't you going to come over here and give me a kiss?" Tanya asked.

"No. I told you Bella was coming and to stay away."

"That wouldn't be very nice, Edward. When would I give your mother her gift?"

"Some other time," Edward said.

"But –"

"Tanya! What part of no do you not get?" I yelled. "This is a family function and you're not included!"

"You're not family, either!" she replied.

"Maybe, but I'm closer to family than you are!"

"Please, you're nothing but a slut who's after Edward's money!"

Before I could think, I flew down the stairs as fast as my swollen feet would take me and was in Tanya's face.

"The only slut here is _you_. We all know you've slept with the entire football team, except for Emmett. Not to mention the baseball team, too. So who's the slut? Edward may not want to be with me anymore, and that's okay, but he's miserable with you."

"You're the one making him miserable. You and your babies, who aren't his!"

"For the last damn time, Tanya, these babies are Edward's, and I'm keeping them!" I shouted angrily.

"You're what?" both Edward and Tanya asked.

"Keeping them."

I looked over on to the porch and saw all of the Cullens standing there. Carlisle and Esme had shocked looks on their faces. I was shocked at myself. This was not the way I had planned on telling him. I certainly didn't want to tell him on Esme's birthday, of all days. I had truly made a mess of things.

"Did you just say..." Edward said before trailing off. He started walking over to us and stopped a few feet from me. I desperately wanted him to take me in his arms and ask me again if I was keeping them – to tell me it was all right and that we would figure this all out. But again, he didn't.

_God, Bella, stop this. He isn't going to do that! Stop getting your hopes up_, I thought to myself.

"Yeah. I'm keeping them."

"Edward, you have to choose, right here and now. Who are you going to be with?" Tanya asked with her hands on her hips. Edward didn't answer. He kept looking at the both of us, then at my belly. I could tell he wanted to say something, but for whatever reason he kept it to himself.

_Please, Edward! Choose us over her! She's only making you miserable. Even if you don't choose us, don't choose her!_

Not wanting to completely ruin the evening, I turned and started to walk back to the house. I was so embarrassed. I couldn't believe I had ruined Esme's birthday – or at least had a hand in it. I just needed a few minutes to sit down and gather my thoughts before apologizing to Esme and asking for a ride home, since I was pretty sure the party was over.

**CarlislePOV**

"Did she just say she's keeping them?" Esme whispered to me.

"I think so."

Esme and I had been waiting to hear if Bella would be keeping the twins. While it may not have been the most ideal time, we were thrilled to become grandparents. Now that we knew Bella's decision, we would need to speak with her about supporting them as well. I wondered how long it would take before Esme decided to turn the guest bedroom across from Edward's room into a nursery.

"Edward, you made the right decision," I heard Tanya say as she wrapped her arms around him.

I wasn't happy that Tanya had shown up. I knew Edward had told her to stay away, so the fact that she was here upset me. She knew Bella would be here, yet she came anyway. Obviously, Tanya wanted to stir up trouble. I wasn't sure what Edward would tell her to do, but if he didn't tell her to leave, I would. This was Esme's birthday, and I would be damned if I let her ruin it. However, what happened next surprised me.

"Tanya, I want you to listen to me carefully, okay?" Edward began and he shrugged out of Tanya's embrace. He then folded his arms across his chest, and his body began shaking slightly from anger. "Do not talk to me again. Do not talk to my family again, including Bella. And if I hear another rumor about her, you _will_ regret it."

"Edward, how can you be so mean? Yesterday you were telling me you loved me and now you're breaking up with me?"

"Leave. _Now_."

"Wait," she said as she held up her hand in Edward's face. "You're dumping me for that bitch? The bitch you said ruined your life? What the hell, Edward?"

"_I said leave!_" Edward shouted.

"You _will_ regret this," Tanya replied before getting in her car and leaving.

"Go to him," Esme whispered. "He needs you."

I waited for Esme and the others to go inside before I joined Edward.

"Feel better?" I asked.

"Yes and no."

"Why's that?"

"I'm glad it's over between Tanya and me, but I know it won't make things easier for me and Bella. I know I've ruined any chance I had with her."

"Son, I can tell you she loves you, but you will have to earn her trust back. I don't think it's going to be easy. You've hurt her so deeply."

"I know."

"You'll need to talk to her about what's going to happen, Edward," I said as I placed a hand on his shoulder. "You can't keep avoiding it." Edward shook his head in response but kept his gaze on the ground in front of him. I knew he was hurting, but he needed to be responsible and deal with this as an adult. "Come on, let's go inside and salvage what's left of your mother's birthday."

When we got inside, we heard laughter coming from the living room. There, everyone had a hand on Bella's belly.

"You've got to feel this!" Alice exclaimed with a laugh. "It's so weird!"

I placed my hand next to Esme's and felt the fluttering kicks of my grandchildren. I couldn't help but join in with their laughter. Since we found out, I had gone through a swing of emotions: angry, upset, livid, happy, sad...everything from one end of the spectrum to the other. I had tried to talk to Edward about it, to find out whether or not they used protection and things like that, but our talks usually ended up in a shouting match. I tried to do everything I could to make him understand that this wasn't a joke; that in a few short months, two little lives would be entering this world and it would be up to him and Bella to support them and take care of them, but Edward wasn't hearing me. Instead, he would look out the window, or fidget with his cell phone. I didn't know how to help him; how to make him understand this wasn't a matter to take lightly.

We tried everything we could think of, including telling Edward he was no longer allowed to see Tanya since she was adding to the problem. I knew Edward had snuck out to see her, and I certainly couldn't tell the school to separate them, even though I wanted to. After speaking with the kids, I knew she had been telling lies and trying to convince Edward to stay away from Bella. Why he was listening to her, I had no idea, but I knew if something didn't change, Bella would leave and take the twins with her. I don't know that I would blame her. A person could only take so much before they broke. I prayed that wouldn't happen.

"Edward, would you like to feel?" Bella asked.

"Can...can I?"

"Sure."

I watched as Edward knelt in front of Bella. She took his hands and placed them on her belly. The silence in the room was broken by Edward's gasp.

"Feel that?"

"Wow. They really do that all the time?" he asked.

"Pretty much. But tonight they're really active since there was drama earlier."

"I'm sorry about the whole Tanya thing," Edward said.

"I'm not talking about that right now. It's Esme's birthday and we should be celebrating that."

The night passed quickly. Esme was insistent that she receive no gifts this year, and I was quite surprised that we all kept our promise to honor her wishes. Edward kept looking at Bella all night and I could tell there were a few times that he wanted to say something to her but didn't. It was the most interaction I had seen between the two of them that didn't involve arguing. After watching _National Treasure 2_, Bella started yawning.

"What time is Charlie picking you up?" I asked.

"He's not. He's working overnight tonight. I was hoping I could get a ride from someone?"

"I'll drive you," Edward said.

Bella looked at Edward hesitantly. I knew she didn't feel comfortable around him, but maybe this would be the night that the two would lay everything out, put together their differences, and finally talk.

**BellaPOV**

I was quiet in Edward's Volvo. Part of it was the fact that I was tired, and part of it was because I wanted to know what his choice was since I didn't stick around for it. I wanted it to be me and our babies. I wanted him to finally accept them and me. But wishful thinking doesn't always get a happy ending.

We pulled up in front of the house and Edward shut off the car.

"Do you need help getting out?"

"Yeah," I said blushing.

He helped me out of the car and stood next to me as I steadied myself. My babies were bouncing around like little monkeys at feeding time inside me. I placed my hands on my belly, hoping it would calm them down.

"Are they still kicking?" Edward asked.

I nodded and started walking toward the house.

"Do you want to come inside?" I asked.

"Sure."

I unlocked the front door, hung my coat up and walked into the kitchen, with Edward following behind me.

"So, how's Tanya these days?" I asked as I sat at the table.

"I...I broke it off with her."

"When?"

"Tonight."

"I'm sorry to hear that. What made you decide to do it?"

"You."

"So now you're blaming me for that, too?" He was really starting to annoy me.

"No. I just mean that you deciding to keep our babies made me change my mind."

_"Our_ babies?"

"Yes."

"You've never said that before." I stood and walked over to the counter with my back to him. I could feel tears begin to sting my eyes and didn't want him to see how emotional I was about all of this. I've wanted him to refer to the twins as ours for so long, and to finally hear it...it just took me by surprise.

"I know."

"So what does this mean for us?" I asked quietly.

"I'm not sure. I know you hate me, and I know I've lost your trust."

"I don't hate you. I've just been angry at you."

"You have every reason to hate me, though. I haven't exactly been supportive."

"What are you going to do about college?"

"I haven't figured that out yet."

"I think you should go. You worked too hard for too long to give that up."

"But what about you? Now that you've decided you're going to keep them, that means you can't go to Minnesota."

"Obviously that's out of the question. I was supposed to be the one to go to college and have a great career. I was supposed to have the life neither one of them had. Now the closest thing to college I can do is community college, if I can afford it."

"You deserve more than that," he said quietly from the table.

"Mrs. Newton is holding my job for me since it hurts to be on my feet for my normal shifts, and she's promised me a promotion after the babies are born. Grace said I could help out at the diner if I needed extra cash, too. Plus my parents are going to help me. It'll be tight, but I'm sure we'll manage."

"What made you decide to keep them? I thought for sure you'd go with adoption."

"I feel them inside me, moving all the time, and when I saw them that night on the monitor, the only thing I could think of was the fact that I wanted nothing more than to hold them and to care for them. The thought of handing them over to someone and not knowing if they were okay killed me."

"Can I tell you something, Bella?"

"Sure."

"I'm scared," he whispered. "I'm a fucking teenager. How am I supposed to care for you and two babies? I can barely take care of myself at times. I know absolutely nothing about changing diapers or anything about babies, really. What if they start crying and I can't figure out what they need? All of this is so overwhelming."

"Overwhelming? Your life hasn't changed yet, Edward. Mine has. You can still do anything you want; hang out with your friends, plan for college, all of that. I can't. When I go to school or out with Charlie, everyone stares at me. All they see is a teenager who couldn't keep her legs shut. It's awful and I hate it. You think _you're_ scared? I'm afraid I won't hear them in the middle of the night, or something will happen and I won't have a clue what to do," I said. My back was still toward him and tears were falling freely from my eyes.

"I've had to do this all by myself, Edward. You should have been there with me. But you weren't. When I told you I was pregnant, you denied it right away. You pushed me away and told me there was no way it could be true. You have no idea how low I felt; how unwanted. You made me feel like a whore, Edward." I was openly sobbing now and didn't care if he saw. The insecurities I felt, and still continued to feel, had made their way to the surface.

"I was scared, Bella."

"That's not an excuse!"

"I know, but it's all I have. I don't have anyone to really talk to about this. Mom and Dad are disappointed with all of this, so I can't talk to them and my brothers have no experience with this, so I guess I just tried to deny it all, thinking it would just go away."

"You mean you wanted _me_ to go away. Out of sight out of mind, right?"

"No. I hate not being around you. You're my best friend."

"You have a funny way of showing it."

I stood there for a few moments, trying to regain control of my emotions. I heard his chair squeak against the floor. My knuckles were white from gripping the counter so hard and my eyes were blurred with the steady stream of tears.

"Bella," he softly said behind me, "can you ever forgive me?"

I couldn't answer him. Part of me was screaming at the top of my lungs for him to go away; that it was too late. The other part of me longed to have his arms around me, even if it was for just a minute, even if it was fake. Edward placed his hands on my shoulders and turned me around. His beautiful green eyes were burning with anticipation, worry and love. Something I hadn't seen in a long time.

"Bella," he said again. "Please, can you forgive me?"

"You've hurt me, Edward."

"I'm sorry. Please, say you'll forgive me."

"I can't forgive you just yet. I'm sorry, but I can't. I realize this situation isn't just your fault, but I just can't forget everything you've put me through."

"I understand. Can we at least try to get back to what we had?"

"I never cheated on you, Edward. James and I worked on a project, that's it."

"I know. It was just another thing that Tanya had said to me."

"So it's easy for you to believe her, but when I tell you I'm pregnant and that they're yours, you don't believe me?" I asked as I pushed away from him. "How can that be, Edward? How could you just dismiss me that easily?"

"I'm sorry! How many more times do I have to keep saying this?" he asked. I could tell he was getting angry, but I didn't care. He needed to realize how deeply he hurt me.

"As many times as it takes for you to understand what you've done!"

"I understand I hurt you, Bella. I do. I hate myself for behaving so badly. But you're right. I shouldn't have dismissed you like that. I should have listened and been there, but like I said, I was scared and confused. I'm so sorry for that and I'll do whatever it takes for you go forgive me. Please say you'll forgive me," he pleaded with me as he moved back in front of me. His eyes were glistening with tears. "_Please_."

"You have to prove to me that you're sorry and that you're going to be there for us. I don't want to do this alone anymore."

"Anything, Bella. I'll do anything." A moment later, I felt Edward's lips on mine. I resisted at first, but then gave in. I had wanted this for so long. He pulled me as close as I could get, placing his hands on my belly. Instinctively, I placed my hands on his.

And for a moment, my world was right again.


	5. Chapter 5

Thank you to my wonderful pre-readers: piperann_25, Shadowed by Passion and KannnD, and to the wonderful betas over at Project Team Beta. They're looking for new beta's! Visit the site www (d0t) projectteambeta (d0t) com to fill out a beta app if you're interested!

Note: Just so you all know, in my mind for this fic, Charlie's house has three rooms, not two.

There Goes My Life

Chapter 5

* * *

The next morning I awoke from dreams of Edward. _Stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid Bella. You're only getting your hopes up,_ I thought. _Last night's kiss was a fluke. Nothing more._ I was glad we had talked. Granted, it may not have been the way I wanted it to happen, but at least it was done. I hoped he had realized the pain and stress he caused me. Edward kept saying he was scared, but I had to believe there was more to it. Maybe he hadn't told me the real reason to protect me...or maybe he hadn't told me because he knew it would only make me angrier. The one thing that stuck out in my mind about our talk was the fact that he had never said that he would help support the twins. Perhaps in the midst of our talk it just got overlooked. I wasn't going to get my hopes up about it, though. I knew between working and my parents, we should be okay. However, it would have been nice to hear Edward say he would help.

After staying in bed for a little bit, I got dressed and made my way downstairs, determined to make breakfast for Charlie when he got home. My plan was spoiled when I found him already cooking in the kitchen.

"Good morning," Charlie said.

"Morning. How was your shift?" I asked before kissing him on the cheek and sitting at the table.

"Slow. I hate working nights. How was Esme's birthday?"

"Fine, I guess."

"Did Carlisle surprise her with a nice gift?"

"No, she didn't want any. But something happened."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. Tanya showed up."

I heard the spatula drop into the pan. "Why does that boy flaunt her in front of you?" he asked angrily.

"It's not like that, Dad. He didn't want her there, but she showed up anyway."

"What happened?"

"He broke up with her."

"He...what?" He sounded shocked at my revelation.

"He did. At least that's what he told me."

"What else did he tell you?"

"That he was sorry for everything, and that he wants to help me with the babies."

"You didn't forgive him, did you?" I bit my lower lip and looked out the window. "Bell, did you?"

"Yeah," I said quietly.

"Why would you do that? And so easily? He's hurt you so much!"

"Dad, you're the one who keeps saying you want Edward around and now that he says he's going to be, you're angry? I don't get it."

"Saying it and doing it are two _very_ different things, Bella."

"So give him a chance."

"He's had his chances," he replied sternly.

"Dad –"

"I'm serious, Bells!" he interrupted. "That boy's only going to hurt you again and I'll be damned if I'll just sit around and let that happen."

"Please, for me, just give him a chance. That's all I want. I'm not saying we're going back to being all lovey-dovey and pretend that nothing happened, because we're not. He still has to earn my trust back, but he can't do that with you finding reasons not to let him."

Charlie was quiet and didn't say anything during the rest of breakfast. I could only imagine what was going through his mind. Sometimes I wondered if it would have been better to go live with Renee and Phil. Charlie didn't have a lot of experience around babies, and I wondered if being here was making him uncomfortable. Then again, if I had gone to live with Renee, I was sure I would be taking care of three children and not two.

"All right, Bells," Charlie finally said as he was washing dishes. "I'll give him one chance. But if he screws up – "

"He screws up again, I have a very good feeling his brothers and Carlisle will kill him."

Charlie chuckled a bit. "So what's on your agenda this weekend?"

"Shopping. Renee sent some money so I could pick up a few things. You?"

"Working. Oh, and I picked up a couple cans of paint yesterday for the nursery. Cream and pale yellow, just like you asked. Grace at the hardware store said the wall paper border you wanted will be in next week, too. Please tell me you didn't go with clowns?"

I laughed. "God, no! Those things freak me out. Why would I subject the twins to them? I went with ducks."

"Just checking."

Spring came and with it brought rain, flowers, and the pending arrival of Renee, Phil and the twins. I wasn't looking forward to Renee's arrival. I knew she still wasn't thrilled with the idea of becoming a grandmother. Our phone calls had been tense these past few weeks. She was still trying to sell me on the idea of adoption and would tell me how much I was giving up and how she wanted better for me. There were times, especially lately, that she gave me the impression that she had wanted to give me up because she and Charlie had been so young. I tried not to let it get to me, but how many times was she going to drop the hint before she came out and said it?

"_Have you spoken with the adoption agency lately?" my mother asked on the phone one day._

"_No. Why would I?"_

"_I just think you should keep your options open, Bella."_

"_Options? I've already made my decision."_

"_Bella, think about it. Having babies means no college. No college means you'll end up stuck in some crappy job with crappy pay. Don't you want to give your children everything you can?"_

"_Yes, I do. But just because I have them young doesn't mean I can't do that," I said. I was getting pretty darn irritated that she was talking like this._

"_But that's just it, Bella. Without a college education, you'll never reach your full potential. I wanted to go to college when I was your age. I wanted all the experiences that go along with it. Have you really thought about what you'll be missing if you keep them?"_

"_No," I said quietly._

"_Think about it, honey. You wanted to go to Minnesota for school, meet new people, maybe join a sorority. With kids, you can't. It's going to be difficult to find a husband, too. They're going to take one look at you with the kids, and walk the other way." I couldn't believe she was saying these things to me. I didn't understand why she couldn't support me in my decision to keep the twins. "Your father and I had you when we were so young. Look how that turned out. I'm not sure where I would be if things had gone differently back then. No one really explained the choices I had back then."_

"_Are you saying you regret having me?" I asked. I was on the verge of tears. _

"_Bella," she said with a sigh, "just call the adoption agency again. There's still time."_

Phil, on the other hand, was very helpful. Whenever Renee and I started arguing over something, he'd smoothed things over on his end and eventually Renee apologized, even though it always sounded forced. He had even called her out for being completely wrong on a few things. Phil was definitely scoring points with Charlie and me.

The babies were moving around constantly. Whichever one was on the right loved to stretch out up into my ribs and the one on the left seemed to sit directly on my bladder. Alice still said it felt weird whenever she felt a kick and I scared Emmett half to death when he saw one of them completely turn in my belly. He said it reminded him of the movie _Alien_. I was 30 weeks now and counting down the days until my due date. I had the nursery all set up and couldn't wait to bring them home. A lot of what I had for them was hand-me-downs, but it didn't matter to me. I couldn't justify spending full price on clothes and toys that they were going to grow out of in a month or so anyway. The only thing that mattered was that they were happy and healthy.

My relationship with Edward was still difficult and awkward. I had asked him to come to the last two doctors appointments, but he didn't show up. Afterward, I had called to find out where he was, only to get his voicemail, which he never replied to. I had come to the conclusion that he wasn't going to be around very much when the twins were born. His parents, on the other hand, had been very helpful. They had also set up a nursery for them across from Edward's room and had started an account for me to use when I needed it. It was nice, but I would have liked Edward to tell me. They were _his_ kids, not his parents'.

Esme and Alice decided to have a graduation-slash-baby shower for me. As much as I hated being the center of attention, I was really looking forward to it. They both dragged me on a shopping spree to register for various baby items. The majority of the senior class was invited and I couldn't wait. It was going to be my last hurrah before diving head first into adulthood. When Tanya found out, she became livid that she wasn't invited. I had a feeling she was going to crash it, but I didn't care. I had more important things to stress over.

"So, are you and Edward an item again?" Angela asked one day at lunch.

"No."

"Really? We all assumed since you two are talking."

"I forgave him, yes, but we're still working things out."

"Like?" Lauren asked.

"Like trust and communication. Our relationship is nothing like what it was, but maybe someday it will be again," I replied. Truthfully, I still wanted it. I still desired that level of intimacy we'd had before. I knew that it wouldn't happen overnight, though. I also knew that there was a very good chance that it would never happen. Edward could decide to be with someone else, or I could find someone else. But I knew that at the very least, we needed to have a line of communication between us – for the twins, if nothing else.

A few days later, Renee and Phil arrived. It was a bit awkward. As soon as we got home, she started in on adoption. It was getting old and I was so over it. I didn't want to hear it anymore. I just wanted to talk about graduation and the party and just feel like a normal person, even if it was only for a minute.

"Bella, I called the adoption agency you had been talking to. Amy, one of the employees, said there's a great family who's looking to adopt. They'll even agree to an open adoption, so you could still get updates," Renee said as she handed me a packet.

"What?"

"This couple lives in Port Angeles, so it's somewhat close, but you still have distance. Anyway, he sells insurance and she is a psychologist. They've adopted one child before and have been waiting two years for another one. Now if you ask me, it's a perfect situation."

"_Really_, Mom?" I asked, annoyed. "Why did you go behind my back and do this?"

"Because I know you weren't going to."

"Renee," Charlie said, "she's keeping the twins. We've discussed this at length. Why can't you just accept it?"

"Because I want her to know that she still has options. She still has time. Maybe if she saw this couple, it would change her mind."

"I'm not going to change my mind, Mom. You may think it's the wrong decision, but I don't. Can you please stop projecting your disappointments and failures on me?"

"One day, Bella. One day you'll realize the mistake you've made," she replied before walking out of the house. She could go back to Florida for all I cared. I missed the relationship I used to have with my mother. She had been my best friend; someone I could tell anything to, and now I couldn't stand to be near her. I felt like smacking her for trying to push that family onto me. I was sure they were nice people, but these were my twins. I was going to give birth to them, bring them home, and raise them. Hopefully they would find another child one day, but they would not be taking mine.

The next day, I was standing in line waiting for graduation to begin. Edward had begged our principal to let Jessica Stanley walk and sit next to me rather than Tanya, but his pleas went unanswered. I didn't really care, anyway. I just wanted to get this over with so I could have one last night of fun.

"I'm surprised they make graduation gowns big enough for someone like you," Tanya said.

"I'm surprised you're even graduating," I fired back.

"I'm smarter than you think."

"Right, because lap dances can be compared to term papers."

"I have never – "

"Oh please," I interrupted. "Everyone knows you put on a special after-school show for Mr. White and Mr. Badiner. Don't try to hide it."

"Bella, you have no idea the pressure my parents have put on me," she whined. Did she honestly think I would feel sorry for her?

"Pressure? No, wouldn't know anything about that."

Over her babbling, I could hear the beginning of "Pomp and Circumstance" and anxiously waited for the chance to sit down. I played with my honor chords around my neck while I walked to my seat. I slipped my flip flops off during Mike Newton's speech since my feet hurt. Every so often I would see Edward's head turn in my direction to check on me.

"So is your little party still on?" Tanya asked quietly.

"Yes. Why?"

"Just curious."

"Just jealous is more like it."

An hour later I was a finally an alumni member of Forks Senior High School, and I couldn't have been happier. Edward went with Esme and Carlisle to help set up for the party while I had dinner with Charlie, his new girlfriend, Rebecca, and Renee and Phil. Rebecca was a new elementary school teacher, and was very nice. The two of them met when he responded to a minor car accident and had been seeing each other on and off ever since. She was a good fit for him.

I wasn't in the mood for something heavy for dinner, but Phil wanted steak, so we went to the Lodge. It was packed with all the new graduates and their families. When my chicken salad arrived, I poured ketchup on a plate and dunked my chicken chunks in it. It was heaven on a fork.

"Bells, really? That's gross," Phil said.

"Actually, it's good. I do this all the time now. It's my new favorite thing."

I sat and talked with my family until I had to get to the party. I hoped I would be able to get a good half-hour nap in before any guests started arriving. The Cullen house was stunning when we got there. The trees that lined the driveway were lit with our school colors on one side and pink and blue on the other. It clashed horribly, but it was still pretty. The backyard had a tent up with picnic tables under it and there was a small bonfire already started. Edward was waiting for me on the porch and helped me out of the car.

"Feeling okay?" he asked.

"I'm just tired. Can I lay down for a little bit?"

"Of course."

He helped me upstairs and into bed, making sure the pillows in between my legs and behind my back were fluffy enough and in the right spot. But what really surprised me was the fact that he lay with me and draped his arm over my belly. He hadn't been this affectionate with me since that night we talked in the kitchen. My heart was smiling; happy that this part of my fantasy was coming true.

"Does this bother you?" he asked quietly.

"No. It's okay."

"They're active tonight," he said with a chuckle.

"Uh-huh," I said before nodding off. My sleep was peaceful for once. Usually I tossed and turned because I couldn't get comfortable. Tonight, however, I didn't move. I slept so deeply that I don't think I dreamed. Edward and I were awoken a short time later by the soft, sweet voice of Esme.

"Bella, Edward, wake up," she said, shaking us lightly. "Your friends are starting to arrive."

"How long was I asleep?" I asked, rubbing my eyes.

"About an hour."

"I'm sorry. I only wanted a few minutes. I know there's so much left to do."

"It's all done, dear. You need your rest anyway."

The party was the most fun I'd had in a long time. The entire graduating class showed up, except for Tanya, which I was grateful for. Edward never left my side for too long, which I appreciated, since I felt like I would tip over at any given second. Alice hired a professional photographer for the event and even went so far as to get an old-fashioned photo booth. The joke of the night was "How many people does it take to get Bella out of the booth?" The answer was two: Edward on one side and Emmett on the other, trying to figure out how to get me out. Everyone thought it was funny.

Edward and I were sitting by the bonfire when we heard a commotion behind us. I turned and saw people walking toward the driveway.

"...you're not invited!" someone yelled.

Edward got up to see what was going on. "Stay here," he said.

A few minutes passed and more yelling was heard, so I decided to see for myself what was going on. I waddled over to the driveway and found a large group of people. I shoved through the crowd and saw Tanya standing in the middle, with her arms around Edward and her lips on his cheek.

"What the hell is this?" I said.

"It's not what you think, Bella," Emmett said as Edward pushed Tanya away.

"What are you doing here?"

"I just wanted to give Edward a graduation present," Tanya said. I stood there, looking at Tanya and Edward, my heart racing. "And of course, you just had go and ruin it.

"What's going on here?" Alice yelled, as she shoved her way through the crowd. "Oh, it's just _her_. How's the nose, Princess?"

"Perfect, thank you."

"Then you must be ready for another round," Rosalie said, "because if you don't get your cheap, lap-dancing, trampy self off my family's property, you'll get more than a broken nose!"

"Sweetheart, you'll break one of your perfect nails," Tanya said.

"Tanya, you need to leave," Edward said.

"But, baby, didn't you like my kiss?" Tanya asked as she wrapped her arms back around Edward.

All eyes were on Edward, waiting for his answer. Tanya's arms were still around him, and he didn't push her away.

"First of all, his name is Edward," I said. I started walking towards her. I needed to say this to her face. "Secondly, shouldn't you be with one of your pimps tonight? Wait, let me guess. They haven't called you lately, have they? Oh, I'm sure they will, but not everyone likes sloppy seconds. And by the looks of the home-based dye job and your holey nylons, I can tell you're hurting for dates. Maybe you should try Seattle. I'm sure they love the trashy kind up there." I wasn't sure where this sudden surge of confidence had come from. Edward continued to stand there, wide-eyed and mouth agape. It felt good to stand up to her. I wished I had done it sooner.

"Are you going to say anything, Edward?" Emmett asked.

"He doesn't need to. It's obvious who he'd rather be with," I replied before walking away. Seeing Edward standing there, not responding, was proof enough for me. Any trace of hope I'd had of us getting back together and raising the twins together was gone.

An hour later, the bonfire was burning nice and hot. I sat between Angela and Lauren and watched and watched as the guys played basketball. Edward hadn't come to talk to me since I left him with Tanya.

"So Bella, have you guys decided on any names?" Angela asked.

"I have a few I like, but nothing definite," I said.

"And you still don't know what you're having?" she asked.

"Nope. It's killing me, too. I didn't want to know at first, but now I really wish I did."

"Yeah, but it makes the birth that much better," Angela said. "My mom said that she was glad she waited with the twins."

"Do you guys want anything from the house? I need a new bottle of water," I said.

"I'll take one," Lauren said.

"All right, I'll be back in a few minutes," I said as I stood.

**EdwardPOV**

I saw Bella walking towards the house and thought nothing of it. _Probably just another bathroom trip, _I thought. I knew I had made a huge mistake tonight by not pushing Tanya away from me. To be honest, I had been shocked. I had figured she'd show up, but I hadn't thought she'd kiss me. It felt like my relationship with Bella was a losing battle. We'd take one step forward and then two steps back. I would really have to step up my game in the coming weeks and get my shit together. I needed to grow up and be a man. I was going to be a father in a few short weeks. It was time to quit screwing around and figure out what I was going to do with my life and how I was going to support my kids.

After I convinced Tanya to leave, I rejoined the party. I saw Bella sitting with her friends and figured it was best to leave her alone for a bit. Instead, I joined my brothers and played basketball. Since Charlie, Ben and I won the last game, I sat and watched Emmett, Mike and Tyler take on Phil, Carlisle and Jasper. It wasn't until after their game was over that I realized Bella hadn't returned.

"Hey, are you going to play again?" Jasper asked.

"Next game, promise."

I sat and watched the next game. When Bella still hadn't returned, I stood and walked over to Angela and Lauren. Maybe she went to talk to some of her other friends who were here.

"Hey, Edward," Angela said.

"Have you guys seen Bella?"

"She went to get us some water, but that was a while ago," Lauren said.

Carlisle joined me as we walked towards the house, but he then ran over to Esme, who was talking with a few of her girlfriends. When I got to the sliding glass door on the porch, I was horrified. There, on the floor, was Bella...and she wasn't moving.

"_Carlisle_!" I screamed.


	6. Chapter 6

Thank you to my wonderful pre-readers: piperann_25, Shadowed by Passion and KannnD, and to the wonderful betas over at Project Team Beta. They're looking for new betas! Visit the site .com to fill out a beta app if you're interested!

A special thanks to lisamichele17 for her help with the medical stuff :)

There Goes My Life – Chapter 6

**EdwardPOV**

Previously:

_"Have you guys seen Bella?"_

_"She went to get us some water, but that was a while ago," Lauren said._

_Carlisle joined me as we walked towards the house, but he then ran over to Esme, who was talking with a few of her girlfriends. When I got to the sliding glass door on the porch, I was horrified. There, on the floor, was Bella...and she wasn't moving._

_"Carlisle!" I screamed._

I tore open the glass door and ran to Bella. She was lying near the foot of the staircase with broken glass and water spilled around her. _Please let her be okay! _I could tell something was wrong, but I prayed it was nothing serious. I couldn't lose her or the babies. I didn't know what to do.

"Bella! Bella, speak to me, please!" I cried as I took her into my arms. She continued to lie motionless. To say I was terrified would be an understatement.

Carlisle came running in a few moments later. I heard other voices, but my focus remained on Bella. Suddenly, she started shaking uncontrollably in my arms. _This is bad. Please, God. Please let her be okay. I know I screwed up, but she doesn't deserve this!_ I could feel the tears falling freely onto my cheeks.

"Lay her on the floor, Edward. Emmett, get me a pillow for her head. Esme, call an ambulance. Alice, my bag is in the closet by the door. Bring it to me!" Carlisle said urgently.

"What's going on?" I asked. "Is she okay?"

"She's having a seizure."

"A _what_?" Esme cried.

"The paramedics are on their way, Carlisle," Esme said. I looked up for a moment and saw that Esme and Rosalie had their arms wrapped around each other with tears running down their faces.

"What happened?" Carlisle asked as he looked Bella over and placed the pillow under her head. Alice had returned and placed his bag next to him.

"Lauren said she came in to get some water, and I found her like this."

"Oh my God," Angela said. I looked over and saw some of our friends standing by the glass door, looking on in horror.

"Emmett, draw the curtains then go outside and wait for the ambulance," Carlisle said.

"What's going on?" Charlie asked as he shoved his way through everyone. "_Bella! _What happened? What's going on?"

"We're not sure yet," Alice began.

"Carlisle, what's the matter with her? Why isn't she moving?"

"Her blood pressure's very high," he replied as he took the blood pressure cuff off of Bella's arm. "That could be the reason, but I'm not sure."

After what seemed like an hour – but in reality, was probably only minutes – the paramedics arrived. I stood next to Esme, who began sobbing into my chest. Charlie was answering the EMTs questions as best as he could. I realized then that he knew more about the twins than I did. _I_ should have known the answers to those questions. But I didn't. Instead of going to each appointment like Bella had asked me to, I ignored her thinking the problem would go away. _Jesus, how could I do this to her? How could I be so blind and stupid? How could my priorities be so misconstrued? _

When we got to the hospital, I practically jumped from the car and ran inside where Carlisle was waiting for us. He had ridden in the ambulance with Bella. I desperately wanted to be with her to make sure she was okay, but the look on my father's face told me not to. I didn't blame him for being angry with me, and I was surprised Charlie even let me in the hospital. I realized then how much of an ungrateful bastard I had been. This was the wake up call Carlisle told me about.

I needed to fix this.

I needed Bella.

"How is she, Carlisle?" Esme asked.

"I don't know. They won't tell me anything."

"Is this real enough for you now, Edward?" Charlie asked as he walked over to me. Renee and Phil were behind him. "Do you understand that this isn't a game? This is Bella's life and the life of those two innocent babies we're talking about!"

"I do! I get it! I'm sorry, Charlie," I said as I ran my fingers through my hair in frustration.

"Well, while _you_ were out doing God knows what, _my_ daughter waited for you to get your head out of your ass. _She_ was the one getting everything ready for the babies. _She_ was the one who went to the adoption agency to discuss options. _She_ was the one who was whispered about in school and everywhere else she went. _She_ was the one to look me in the eye and tell me she was pregnant. And where were _you_? You were off having the time of your life. Was it worth it? Because while you were doing that, she was being the responsible one!" Charlie shouted.

"I was _scared_! Everything I wanted is gone now because of a mistake we made. College, med school, all of it!" I shouted back. Charlie and I were face to face in the middle of the waiting room with our families surrounding us. From the corner of my eye, I could see Emmett on my left. He looked as though he was waiting to jump in between Charlie and me if this shouting match got out of hand.

"You're not the only one, Edward," he fired back. I knew he was angry with me, but I had never seen him this upset before. I didn't think anyone in the town of Forks had heard him raise his voice before. I had to be honest – it was a scary thing. His hands were on his hips, his posture straight and firm, and his eyes were round with rage. "Bella had to give up going away to college, too. You could have made these last thirty weeks easier for her, but instead you're with the town _tramp_ who was making everything worse for her. All the rumors, the whispers, and the stares could have been avoided if you had been a _man_ about the entire situation."

"I tried," I whispered. I tried to convince myself that I had done everything I could for her, but in all honesty, I knew I hadn't.

"Obviously you weren't trying hard enough."

"I'm a teenager! I'm not... I don't know what I'm doing here. I'm being told different things by different people, and I'm not sure who to believe," I said truthfully. I knew it was probably a shitty response, but I didn't want to say what I was really feeling because I knew it would make Charlie go insane with anger. I didn't want to tell him that part of me didn't want this. I still wanted to be a kid, not an adult. I wanted to party with my friends and sleep until noon – when Esme let me – and not have to worry about anything. I didn't want to tell him that I regretted this mistake and how I wished we had done something about it sooner.

"Believe _Bella_. She's just as confused as you, but rather than let it consume her, she's taken responsibility. All you had to do was tell her that you were going to support her and the twins. That's all she's wanted. It didn't matter if you were together or not."

"Okay, obviously there's been a lack of communication on both sides," Phil said as he pushed us away from each other and put space between us, "but now is not the time to play the blame game."

"He's right," Esme said. "Let's just wait for her doctor to come out, okay?"

A few minutes passed. The air was thick with anger and fear. Charlie was trying his best not to let any of us see him cry, while my parents sat quietly next to me. Esme grabbed my hand when Dr. Watters, Bella's physician, came out.

"Diane, how is she?" Carlisle asked as both he and Charlie stood.

"Not good. She's had two small seizures since she's arrived. It could be from the fall or it could be from the pregnancy."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"At her appointment this week, she was diagnosed with Pregnancy Induced Hypertension. Basically, her blood pressure is too high, and this is something that can happen. Given the circumstances, we're taking her to the OR and delivering the babies."

"It's too early! She's only thirty weeks!" I cried. This was happening too fast. I didn't know much about pregnancy, but I knew it was too early for the twins to be born. _ I should have read that damn book Bella gave me. _It was just another thing to add to the list of things I should have done.

"Is there nothing else you can do?" Renee cried as she stood. Phil wrapped an arm around her to comfort her, but they both looked frightened by the news that had just been given.

"She hasn't been responsive since she was brought in, and nothing we've given her has helped, which leads me to believe she sustained an injury in the fall," Dr. Watters began. "If something happened to her brain, we can't do anything while she's still pregnant. If the seizures are caused by the pregnancy, we could lose all three of them. It's a tough decision, I know, but it's the only thing we can do. After they're born, they'll be transported, along with Bella, to the Swedish Medical Center in Seattle. They have a more advanced NICU than we do and are better equipped to care for Bella. I can only bring one person back with me."

"Then it needs to be Edward," Charlie said.

"Me?" I asked, surprised.

"I may not like you right now, but you need to be there to watch your babies come into this world."

Dr. Watters led me back through the double doors and to a small window that looked into the operating room where I could watch the twins being born. She explained that since it was an emergency, I couldn't be in the same room. The sight of Bella was frightening. She was strapped down to the bed with tubes coming out of her. There were several doctors and nurses rushing around the room, getting things ready. I was glad Bella wasn't awake to see it, as the sight of everything going on around her would scare her. It was then that I realized how close I was to losing not just Bella, but the babies as well. _They_ were my life now. Nothing else mattered anymore.

**CarlislePOV**

We all stood there as Edward left us. I wanted to pull rank as the Chief of Surgery and go back there, but for the first time in my life, I was afraid. I didn't know what to expect. It had been quite some time since I had delivered a baby. I was also thankful for Charlie's words. They were blunt, and maybe a bit harsh, but I thought they may have finally sunk in.

"Thank you, Charlie," I said. "I'm sure letting Edward go back there wasn't easy for you."

"I meant what I said, Carlisle. As harsh as it may have been, he needed to hear it."

"I know. I've said the same things to him, but I was never sure if he heard me."

"Yeah, well, sometimes you need to take a firm hand," he replied.

"Please tell me you're not giving me parenting advice," I said, annoyed.

"I'm not. I'm just saying in situations like this you need to be a _parent_ and not a _friend_."

"Oh my God, could we _not_ do this right now?" Esme asked. "Esme is fighting for her life, and you two are having a parenting pissing contest. Please. Save it for later."

A good hour passed before any news came. We all held our breath as Edward and Dr. Watters walked toward us. Edward was visibly shaking while carrying two Polaroid pictures in his hand. His eyes were puffy and full of tears.

"...remember, slow deep breaths," Dr. Watters said.

"How are they?" Phil asked.

"Small, but they're stable. They're in our special care nursery."

"And Bella?" I asked.

Dr. Watters sighed as Edward sat in the chair next to me. "She made it through the surgery, but her blood pressure is still high."

"Are you alright, Edward?" Esme asked as she wrapped her arms around him.

"He became a little lightheaded, but he'll be fine," Dr. Watters said.

"So, what did she have?" Rosalie quietly asked.

Edward wiped his eyes and cleared his throat a few times before he spoke, "She...she had..." That was all Edward could get out before he broke into a sob.

"She had a little boy and girl," Dr. Watters said. "I've called ahead to the hospital, and they're expecting all of you. We're just waiting for the helicopter to get here. The twins will be transported first, since they need the most immediate care. Bella will be transported by ambulance in about twenty minutes. We're just getting everything ready to go. Once they arrive at the hospital in Seattle, all three will be re-evaluated. My suggestion all of you go there. There's nothing you can really do for any of them right now."

"Thank you, Diane, for everything," I said. I sat next to Edward and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"They're so small, Dad. So small," Edward cried. Never in all the years that Edward had been with us, had he called me 'Dad.' I knew he was suffering. There was nothing I could do or say to help him, and it broke my heart. I prayed this would be the turning point in his life.

**EdwardPOV**

When we got to the hospital in Seattle the next afternoon, I was taken to see the twins. Esme handed me a camera in case they'd let me take pictures of them while they waited for an update on Bella. A nurse fitted me with two bracelets identical to the ones each of the twins were wearing to identify me as their father_._ I scrubbed my shaking hands, put on a yellow smock over my clothes, and walked into the NICU. I wasn't sure what to expect or what I could and couldn't do. The sight was heartbreaking. There were little isolettes with tiny babies and wires everywhere. Some of the babies were being held by their parents. When I saw them gushing over their newest arrival, I started to miss Bella. She should be with me. She should be the first one to hold them, not me.

A nurse led me to the back of the NICU where two isolettes were. On the front of them were little cards that read: "Baby Girl Swan" and "Baby Boy Swan." She was telling me something about them, but I didn't really hear her. All I was focusing on were the two little ones that now belonged to me. It was overwhelming. They were so small, and yet they were stronger than I could ever be. Here I was struggling to maintain my composure while they were struggling to live. It didn't seem right. It didn't seem fair.

"Would you like to touch them?" a nurse asked me.

"Is it okay?"

"Sure, just not for too long. Once they get stronger and healthier, you'll be able to hold them."

The nurse opened a tiny section of the isolette that was in front of me. Carefully, I reached my hand in and touched my son. He was covered in wires and tubes and had a piece of fabric over his eyes. If he had any hair on his head, it was either very light or covered, because I couldn't tell. But when his tiny fingers wrapped around mine, something told me that things would be okay.

"Hey there, little guy," I whispered. "I'm your Dad. You and your sister gave us all a scare, but I know you're strong. You get that from your mother."

I let the nurse close his isolette, and I turned to my daughter. My heart stopped for a moment when I looked down at her for the first time. She looked so much like Bella that it took my breath away. She was smaller than her brother and had a little bit of peach fuzz, as Bella would call it, on her head, which was dark brown.

"Sweet princess," I whispered again. "Wow, aren't you beautiful? Just like your mother. She'll be here soon, I promise."

"They're beautiful twins," the nurse said as she closed my daughter's isolette.

"Thank you. I didn't think I'd fall in love with them this quickly."

"All it takes is a look to have them latch onto your heart forever."

She was right. All it took was one look at them, and I knew my life would never be the same again.

**CarlislePOV**

Seeing Bella in the ICU was taking its toll on Edward. I could tell he desperately wanted to be with her, but seeing as he wasn't technically family, the closest place he could be was in the waiting room. He refused to leave, and when he did, it would only be to check on the twins. Our pleas for him to eat and sleep were ignored the majority of the time. Nothing any of us could say made him feel any better.

It wasn't just Edward who was affected by all of this. Esme, when not with the twins or by Edward's side, spent time in the hospital's chapel, lighting candles and praying. Rose and Emmett tried their best to keep all of us in one piece, but even they started picking at each other. It seemed the only one who kept their composure was Charlie, but I had a feeling that when it was just him and Rebecca, he fell to pieces. He always tried to be the strong one for Bella's sake.

"Carlisle Cullen, is that you?" I heard a familiar voice from behind me say.

I turned around and saw an old colleague. "Samantha, what are you doing here?" Samantha and I had worked together for a few years before she left to focus on her specialty. She was engaged to a very nice man named David who was currently serving in Iraq. She was hysterically funny and a bit wild, but she was very dedicated to her patients.

"I moved up here with David. How is your wife?"

"She's good. When is David coming home?"

"Three months, three weeks and six days. But who's counting? What brings you to my neck of the woods?" she asked with a smile.

"I'm a grandfather."

"That's wonderful! Wait, aren't you a bit young?" she asked with raised eyebrows.

"A bit, yes, but we've been blessed with both a grandson and granddaughter."

"Well, congratulations!"

"Say, you couldn't give me an update on a patient here, could you?"

"Which one?"

"Isabella Swan? Our family is starting to go a bit nuts with no updates."

"Oh, she's my patient, actually. I was just going to talk with her family," she said as she grabbed a chart from the desk.

"Thank goodness. We haven't been able to get a straight answer out of anyone."

A few minutes later everyone was gathered in a consultation room with Samantha and another doctor. I prayed that whatever news Samantha was going to give us would be good news.

"I am Doctor Samantha Harmer, and I've been working on Isabella since she arrived. Doctor Natasha Flores is the doctor in charge of her babies. We sent Isabella for another CT scan this morning. Her brain shows a bit of swelling in the place where her head hit the floor. Her blood pressure is still quite high, but we're hoping that will start to come down in the coming days. I've started her on a medicine called magnesium sulfate which should help."

"What does that do?" Charlie asked.

"We use it in women who have eclampsia to help with their blood pressure and prevent seizures from happening."

"Why wasn't she given that medicine back in Forks?" Renee asked. "Could this been avoided if they had given it to her there?"

"Looking at her chart, I believe her doctor made the right choice. Her blood pressure was very high, and she had a few small seizures. The only way to essentially cure eclampsia is to deliver, and since Isabella's condition was heightened with a fall, it was the only thing that could have been done," Samantha said. One of the things I liked about her was her ability to explain things in a calm and gentle manner.

"How long until she wakes up?" Edward asked.

"We have her sedated due to her head injury and her blood pressure. Once we start to see an improvement, we'll bring her out of the sedation and evaluate her then. I really can't give you an exact time."

"Can you tell us anything about the babies?" Charlie asked.

"Sure," Dr. Flores said. "They're responding well to the support we're giving them. They both require feeding tubes and assistance with breathing. The little girl is requiring extra assistance with her breathing, so she's using a C-pap machine which is basically a mask that is put over the baby's face to give her a continual stream of oxygen, and she's doing well with that. We also have them in a warm isolette to help with their body temperature. Once they're able to maintain their temperature, we'll place them in a regular bassinet."

"How long will they have to stay?" Edward asked again. He looked so lost and scared.

"Until their due date, provided nothing major happens. Right now, they're all doing okay, and that's a good thing," Dr. Flores replied with a small smile.

We sat and talked with the doctors for a bit longer, asking question after question. I was proud of the questions Edward was asking. He finally started to sound like an adult. Once we were done, he returned to see the twins while Charlie and Renee went back to Bella's room. The only thing any of us could do was wait for Bella to wake up and pray that the twins continued to get stronger and healthier.


	7. Chapter 7

Thank you to my wonderful pre-readers: piperann_25, Shadowed by Passion and KannnD, and to the wonderful betas over at Project Team Beta. They're looking for new betas! Visit the site .com to fill out a beta app if you're interested!

**Note: any section that is in italics is a dream sequence. **

**BellaPOV**

Gosh, that had been the best sleep I had gotten in a long time. Usually, I would toss and turn and have to get up a few times to go to the bathroom, but I felt like I hadn't moved at all. _Talk about heaven._ I could even remember my dreams...and what dreams I had.

_I was in a beautiful meadow on a warm summer day. The bright yellow sun was shining against a crisp blue and cloudless sky. It was the perfect day. Next to me I saw the most handsome man – my Edward. His gorgeous green eyes sparkled, and I was getting lost in them. As much as I wanted to sit and stare at him, a noise – a beautiful noise – pulled my attention from him. There, sitting next to us under the shade of a tree, were my babies – my beautiful babies with chubby cheeks and auburn hair. Looking at them, I realized how blessed I was. I had a handsome man and two beautiful children. It couldn't get any better than this. _

"_I love you, Bella." _

_As much as I wanted this dream to stay, it started swirling into something different. _

_In this dream, I was still pregnant. I couldn't tell where I was, but I could hear people talking. I looked around trying to get my bearings, but I couldn't. All I could see were faceless figures with familiar voices. Gosh, where was I?_

"_Bella," a voice behind me called. I turned and saw Edward. Next to him was a woman in a white dress – Tanya. "Bella, what are you doing here?"_

"_What do you mean?" I asked. My dream came into focus, and I saw that I was standing in the middle of a church during a wedding. It was Edward and Tanya's wedding. I looked around the church. It was covered in God-awful shades of pink, with the bridesmaids' dresses looking like they came from the 80's. How could he marry her? Didn't he know how she made me feel? Didn't he know what a blow it was to my self-confidence when I saw them together?_

"_How could you do this, Bella?" Edward asked again in a harsh tone._

"_I'm sorry. I didn't realize..."_

"_Did you really think that if you came here, Edward would change his mind?" Tanya asked._

_Suddenly, Edward walked over to me, grabbed me by the arm and started dragging me out of the church. "Honestly, Bella, how could you do this? Haven't you ruined my life enough?"_

"_I'm sorry, Edward."_

"_Just leave, Bella. _Now_. And don't ever come back. I. Do. Not. Want. You." With that, he shoved me out of the church and slammed the door in my face. _

_I stood there, completely shocked. Not just at my actions, but at Edward's as well. Did he really feel like this? Was everything he had ever said to me just a lie? I knew he had been with Tanya, but I honestly thought it was just a phase. To see him standing at the altar with her, knowing he was just minutes away from exchanging words of love and pledging his life to her...it was too much. Maybe my childish notion of Edward coming back to me was just that – a childish notion. It was obvious now that Edward and I were never meant to be._

That dream had scared me a bit; it was one of my biggest fears. I still loved Edward, and a part of me still wanted him to choose me. I didn't want my babies to have two different homes and only see their father on the weekends. I wanted the fairy tale. I wanted him to marry me and live happily ever after. I wanted him to tell me it was over with Tanya and _really_ mean it. That night in my kitchen when he told me he would do anything for me and our twins, he sounded so sincere. But there was a voice in the back of my mind that told me not to believe him. Day by day that voice was getting a bit louder, and I wasn't sure if that was a warning or not of things to come.

The other part of me knew that the relationship between Edward and I had been so strained that maybe there was no recovering it. Perhaps we could work on a friendship so it wouldn't be awkward when we had to be around each other. Honestly, it wouldn't have bothered me if Edward had found someone else to be with, as long as it wasn't Tanya. She was the ultimate slap in the face – the person you saw and were instantly reminded that you were nowhere near her class. She was beautiful and confident, and I wasn't. She could walk into a room and every man would look up at her. I walked into a room and everyone started whispering.

I was still at a loss as to how our relationship went from wonderful to destroyed in a blink of an eye. One minute we were so in love with each other and looking forward to college – Edward in Chicago while I would be in Minnesota. The next minute, he was spouting hurtful, angry words at me. I just didn't get it. I knew it would be a shock for him when I told him I was pregnant, but I didn't think he'd blame only me. After all, it takes two to make a baby. I wanted him to tell me it would be okay, and that he would be next to me when I told my dad that I was pregnant. I wanted him to be there to hear the heartbeat for the first time. I wanted him to be with me during parenting classes...but he wasn't. He wasn't there for any of it. Instead, a week after I told him I was pregnant, I found him talking with Tanya in the hallway next to her locker. It all went downhill from there.

_Crying. Yelling. Screaming._

_Edward was standing in the living room with another man I did not recognize. The air was thick with tension and anxiety. I could see Dad in the kitchen. Rebecca had her arms around him as his shoulders shook. Was he crying? Why was Dad crying? _

"_I've come for my children, Bella," Edward said coldly._

"_What?" I asked._

"_My children. You do have them ready, don't you?"_

"_What are you talking about, Edward?" I asked again confused._

"_Surely you remember the hearing last week. The judge said the twins were to live with me since I could afford a better life for them."_

"_You can't take my babies, Edward! You didn't want them in the first place!"_

"_It doesn't matter now. Where's their stuff?" he asked coldly. I saw Edward walk over to the baby swings, and I immediately went to block his path. Was he really going to take my babies from me? There's no way that could happen. Surely Dad would have done something to stop this. "Bella, bring me their bags. I need to get going."_

"_You're not taking them!" I shouted._

"_Yes, I am. I am their father. I am the one who can provide the proper life they deserve."_

"_And what am I?"_

"_What are you?" He laughed softly and turned to look at me. "You work all day, every day while your father and his girlfriend take care of our children. You're never home with them, and when you are, you still don't take care of them. Don't try to tell me otherwise because your father testified to it. You spend the child support I give you on clothes for yourself and various other items. You make your parents pay for everything. So you want to know what you are? _You_ are an unfit mother, and _I_ am taking my children away from you."_

_Dad appeared next to me and handed Edward a few bags while Rebecca placed the twins in their car seats. I was so stunned by Edward's words that I couldn't move. Was I really that bad of a mother? Was I really doing the things he said I was? No. There's no way that could be true. I loved my babies, and I wanted nothing but the best for them. Why did it matter if Edward's family had money? How could that make the difference in being happy? Dad raised me on a police salary, and I was happy. Sure, there were times when money was tight, but we found other ways to make us happy. _

_Once the twins were in their seats, the man that once stood next to Edward walked over and picked both of them up and walked toward the door. There stood a familiar woman – Tanya._

"_Darling, are you ready?" she asked._

"_Of course, dear," Edward replied with his crooked smile._

"_Good. I can't wait to get the kids home and settled. Your mother assures me the nursery is all ready for them."_

"_What is _she_ doing here?" I asked, furious._

"_Tanya is my wife, Bella. She and I will be raising _my_ children."_

"_No!" I shouted and bolted for the door. "I don't want her around my children!" I tightly wrapped my hands around the handles of the car seats and began pulling them back toward me. _

"_You have no say anymore, Bella."_

"_No! You're wrong, Edward! I love my children! I do everything I can for them! Please don't take them away from me!" I begged. Tears sprung to my eyes and began falling freely onto my cheeks. I pulled with everything I had. There was no way I would let Edward take them from me. Who was he to tell me I wasn't a good mother?_

_Edward wrapped his strong hands around my arms and shoved me away as Tanya followed behind the twins and out to the car. "Bella, you have no one to blame but yourself. If you had just gotten rid of them when I told you to, we wouldn't be here. Do not even think of trying to see my children. They're better off without you."_

_Edward's hands were now replaced by my father's arms which pulled me tightly against his chest. He Whispered something in my ear, but I didn't hear his words. Watching Edward leave, knowing he was going home with Tanya and my babies, killed me. There was no way that any of this was true. This had to be a dream. Even if Edward and I hated each other, surely he wouldn't do this to me. I didn't know how I was going to stay away from my babies. They were everything to me._

_When the front door slammed shut, I broke free from my father's grip and ran outside. Edward and Tanya were standing next to their car. His hands were cupping her face as his lips pulled from hers. I saw him whisper the words 'I love you' to her, and I fell to my knees. The weight of everything was crushing me. As their car pulled away, I began wailing, sobbing uncontrollably. I was screaming for him to come back, to bring my babies back. _

_All of my fears had come true: Edward said I was an unfit mother, he was married to Tanya, and he had my babies. My life was over. How would I survive this? Could I survive this? What was I supposed to do now? _

_I wasn't sure how long I stayed there before I heard someone walking toward me. As I turned my head to see who it was, all I could see was a figure – tall and commanding. Was it Edward coming back for me? Please, let it be him. Let him come back and say all of it was a lie. Let him come back and tell me he loves me. Let him come back and tell me he wants me and our children. _

"...Bella..." a far off voice called. I knew that voice. I started feeling heavy and disoriented. So much for sleeping in. Wait, this wasn't my bed. This bed was stiff and uncomfortable.

"...Bella, can you hear me?" the voice asked again.

I tried to speak, but couldn't. Instead, it felt like something was in my throat. _Man, I better not be getting sick._

"...can you open your eyes?" I tried, but my eyelids were so heavy. I tried to fight off the sudden exhaustion I was feeling, but it overtook me again.

My dreams were dark and confusing. Images swirled around me; voices were muted. I couldn't make anything out except for one thing – the tall figure. Again it was there, off in the distance. It commanded my attention. Again, I couldn't tell who it was, but I couldn't look away. _Who was it, and why were they appearing in my dreams? Why did they insist on standing so far away from me?_ No matter how close I seemed to get to them, they were always so far away. I just wanted to see who it was.

I tried opening my eyes again since I started hearing familiar voices once more. It was easier this time. I didn't have that heavy feeling. The voices that seemed so far away started to sound closer to me. I could feel scratchy, stiff sheets under me and a warm blanket over me. _What the hell was that beeping noise?_ It didn't sound like my alarm.

"...a good sign. She's waking up," a woman said.

"Open your eyes, Bella. Come back to us." That was the voice of my father. He was the one man who stood by me through all of this. I was slowly able to open my eyes. I became disoriented. I was in an unfamiliar place. _Where was I?_ Once I was able to focus, I looked over at my father. He was crying. Why was he crying? I wanted to tell him that I was fine, but something was in my throat. I must have started struggling, because I felt his hands on mine before he spoke. "Calm down. You're fine. Everything's okay, I promise."

"Bella, you have a breathing tube in. If you calm yourself, we can take it out, okay?" a woman said. She appeared to be a doctor. Why did I have a breathing tube in? Did something happen?

I must have dozed off because when I woke again, I was being told take a deep breath. As I exhaled, the tube in my throat was removed and replaced by an oxygen mask. It took me a bit, but eventually I stopped coughing. Again my father had tears in his eyes. I followed my doctor's commands and took some deep breaths so she could listen to my lungs, and after telling me to take it easy, she left with the promise to return later.

"Dad, why are you crying?" I asked. My voice was scratchy and my throat was dry.

"I was just so worried. We all were. Here, take a sip," he replied as he placed a straw to my lips.

Something was different. I couldn't figure it out at first, but there was concern in my father's eyes. It was as if he was keeping a secret. Without thinking, I lifted my hand to place on my belly. In that second, I knew what was different. My stomach was flat.

_My stomach was flat_.

"Dad, where...where are my babies?" I asked frantically. I started pushing the blankets off of my body to get a better look. I should have a round belly. I should feel my babies moving and kicking.

"Shh. Stop. I'll tell you," he replied as he placed his hands over mine. "They're fine."

"But Dad, it's too early!" I cried. _Were they all right? Were they alive? Why wasn't he telling me anything?_

"I know. You had a seizure at the graduation party."

"Seizure?" I asked confused. _What was he talking about?_

"Yeah. Edward found you on the floor. We were so scared," he said as he squeezed my hand. I noticed a few tears brimming at the corners of his eyes. _Was it really that bad? Surely he was overreacting._

"Where are my babies, Dad? I need to see them. Are they all right?"

"Yes, they're all right. I'll ask your doctor when you can see them since I'm not sure. They're so precious, Bells. Tiny, but oh so precious," he said lovingly. I watched as he reached into a small bag on the far end of the room and pulled out something that looked like a book. It was a photo album. When he returned, he turned it toward me so I could see what was inside. And what was inside took my breath away.

My babies.

My beautiful, tiny babies.

The moment I saw them, I longed to hold them and breathe in their wonderful scents. I wanted to feel their soft skin and listen to the little noises they made. One of the isolettes was covered in a blue blanket, the other pink. I had gotten my wish – one of each. I had a little prince and princess. I traced their tiny faces with my finger before looking up at my father, who was crying along with me.

"Are they really okay?" I asked again.

"Yes. As worried as I was about them, I was more worried for you."

"Why?"

"Because you're still my little girl. Honey, I know these past few months haven't been the easiest, and I'm sure I could have done more, but I just want you to know that I love you, and I'm so very proud of you. I always have been," he said as he leaned in and kissed my forehead.

"Oh, Dad," I said with a shaky voice, "I love you, too."

"Do you want me to get Renee? I know she's been just as worried."

"Is she here?" I was nervous and afraid of what she might say to me. I knew she was partial to adoption, and now that the twins were here, I hoped she would keep her opinions to herself.

"Yeah. All of us are."

"_All _of us?" I asked hesitantly.

"Me, Rebecca, Renee, and Phil. Plus Edward and his family."

"Oh," I said softly. They must have been really worried if they had all stayed. I wasn't sure if I was ready to see Edward yet. Maybe his family, but not him. The nightmares I had while unconscious had left me scared. I wasn't sure if some of them had been real or not. I felt vulnerable and didn't want Edward to see that. I would rather see him when I was feeling better and when my mind wasn't so foggy.

As Dad left the room, I picked up the photo album and started looking at the pictures. Dad wasn't kidding when he said they were small. I guessed they could fit in my hands. _How could something this little even survive? What if they hadn't? What if something had happened to them and no one had told me?_ So many things were running through my head. I came across a picture of Edward standing next to my son's isolette. I felt a bit of jealousy run through me. He had been able to spend time with them, and I hadn't. It didn't seem fair. He never wanted anything to do with them when I was pregnant, yet here he was, standing next to our son with a smile. It just didn't seem fair. I wondered who else had been able to see them.

"Oh, Bella!" Renee cried as she walked into my room. "I'm so glad you're awake." She quickly rushed to my side and gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek. "We've been so worried."

"I'm okay."

"I see Charlie gave you the photo album."

"Yeah. They're amazing."

"I know. And they're so strong and brave. Oh, Bella, wait until you get to see them. They're so adorable," Renee gushed.

"This coming from the same woman who wanted me to give them up," I said. I wondered if she was back on her medicine. She seemed too excited for the moment.

"I did, and I'm sorry that I tried to force it on you. I just didn't want you to give up everything."

"I won't be. Just because I'm starting early with having a family doesn't mean I can't still go to school and make a good life for them. I may not be able to go to school for what I originally wanted to do, and it may take a bit longer, but I will do it. My kids are going to have a good life, and I wish you would support me on that."

"I do support you, Bella. I know you'll do your very best. I'm sorry I was so adamant about adoption."

"You made me feel like you wished you had put me up for adoption, Renee," I said as tears came. "You have no idea what that did to me."

"Oh honey, never," Renee replied, wrapping her arms around me. "I should have discussed adoption with you differently. I'm sorry I made you feel like that."

"You know Renee and I will help you with whatever you need," Dad said.

"I know. Thank you. I know this all happened before it was supposed to, but I don't want you guys to be disappointed in me."

"We could never be disappointed in you, Bella. All of this just took us by surprise, that's all," Dad said.

"No kidding," I said. "I just wish..."

"What, honey?"

"I just wish this would have happened differently, you know. I spent so much time trying to get Edward to see how important this is, but now I see him in pictures with the twins and feel so jealous that he gets to do that."

"You'll be able to see them soon," Renee said. "When you're out of the ICU, you can. And wait until you see them, Bella. They're so beautiful. Well, now that you're awake and well, I'm going back to the hotel with Phil. He's tired and I want to book our flight home." Renee quickly hugged me before she left. In all actuality, I was surprised she had stayed this long. However, I wished she would have stayed a bit longer. I missed her and I really wanted her here.

"Tell me about them? Please?" I asked as I looked back at the pictures in front of me. I was so desperate to know everything I could about them.

Over the next few hours, Dad told me everything from the party to waking up here. I was shocked and horrified at all that had happened. I started crying as I listened to them. I felt like it was my fault. I should have done something different that day. Maybe if I had, none of this would have happened. Maybe they would still be growing inside me rather than in the NICU. I knew the doctors and nurses would take good care of them, but that didn't ease the longing I had for them. I wanted to be with them, hold them, feed them. I wanted to learn what their little noises meant and feel their tiny fingers curl around mine. I felt like such a horrible mother for not being able to care for them. I wasn't sure how long I would be in the ICU, but I prayed it wouldn't be too long, and I prayed that my dreams were just that – _dreams_.


	8. Chapter 8

Thank you to my wonderful pre-readers: piperann_25, Shadowed by Passion and KannnD, and to the wonderful betas over at Project Team Beta. They're looking for new betas! Visit the site .com to fill out a beta app if you're interested! We're also taking new story applications as well!

Hi! I know it's taken forever for me to post, but if you follow me on twitter (sweetishbubble) then you would know some RL issues came up. So, I apologize for taking so long and for not replying to your reviews. I did read them and they helped cheer me up. Thank you for that.

**BellaPOV**

These past ten weeks had been the longest and best of my life.

I had learned a lot about myself since I became a mother. My life no longer revolved around school, it revolved around my two precious little babies; they were my life now. As simple a statement as that was, it was a pretty loaded one. I had no idea what I was doing when I was with them. I still didn't know what some of their cries meant, and there were times when I relied on the nurses to tell me what they needed. I felt like a failure for not knowing what to do, but I was reassured that I wasn't the first mom to feel like this, nor would I be the last, either. The one thing I did recognize were their separate cries for me – the ones they used when they needed my touch. I swear I could hear it from outside the NICU some days. I quietly loved those cries because they made me feel wanted and loved.

I would often daydream about what life would be like with the twins when they got older. _Would my son be involved in sports? Would my daughter like to read like me?_ I couldn't wait to see Dad interact with them. I imagined that Maddy would be his little princess and could do no wrong. I could see him sitting in her room having an imaginary tea party with her dolls and not caring one bit. I knew Masen would be the next fisherman of the family. I could see him screaming 'I caught one!' in the middle of the boat with Dad and Billy, and if he was anything like me, the minute he saw it dangling from the hook, it would freak him out.

My relationship with Edward was rebuilding... slowly. I think he wanted me to go faster, but I wasn't ready for it. I wanted – no needed – to get to know him again. The Edward I used to know was not the same Edward that I knew now. After we were done spending time at the hospital, we usually went back to the hotel that our parents had reserved for us. I would usually upload any pictures to the CaringBridge site that Alice had created for our twins, as well as post a little update on them. Sometimes Edward and I would go grab dinner and talk. Those were the days I really liked being with him. Our conversation would be light and easy, and I felt comfortable with him.

Other times, however, Edward would say something that would upset me, and I would pull away from him, or shut myself in my room for the night. Maybe it was juvenile of me to do that, but I hated when he did this. I hated that he wanted me to forget everything that happened and take him back with open arms – just like the way Renee acted for half of my childhood. I couldn't do that. I needed to start doing what was best for me and the twins. Sometimes I wondered if being with Edward would just make things easier, but then I wondered if I would be happy if I were to just give in. At one point, this was all I wanted – to be loved by Edward and have a family with him. But, the more I thought about it, I knew going back to him now, with this much hurt and betrayal between us, would be a mistake. I would be miserable, and even though I'd be with him, it wouldn't be good enough for me anymore. I deserved to be with someone who loved me and made me happy.

As I held my son in my arms and watched him sleep, I though back to the night that I first met him and his sister.

_I had been moved from the ICU to a private room. I knew this meant that I would be able to see my babies, and I couldn't wait to meet them. After getting settled with my new nurse, I asked Dad to find Edward for me. Surprisingly, I wasn't nervous about seeing him – the time had come for us to talk. He arrived about an hour later and had flowers in his hands. He looked nervous and a bit scared._

"_These are for you," he said quietly as he handed me the flowers. They were irises; one of my favorites. I was surprised he remembered how much I disliked roses and tulips. At least he took the time to go to a florist and not the gift shop downstairs._

"_Thanks."_

"_Sure. Are you feeling better? I was really worried about you."_

"_A bit, yes. I'm happy to be out of the ICU and able to move around more. But I'm still kind of freaked out about what happened."_

"_It was pretty terrifying," he said with shaky breath as he sat in a chair. "None of us knew what was going on, and when we got to the hospital, it seemed like everything happened so fast."_

"_I wish I had been awake to see the babies being born," I said softly. I reached out and picked up the most recent picture of the twins, which seemed to help calm my anxiety over the situation. _

"_I was able to watch through a window. You would have been scared. There were so many doctors and nurses in that room. After the twins were born, they were taken to the NICU right away. I barely had a chance to see them."_

"_Still, I haven't gotten to see them yet except through pictures, but my nurse said I can go now that I'm out of the ICU."_

"_Really? Can I... can I go with you?" he asked hesitantly. I hadn't tho__ught about that part of it. I guess I assumed my Dad would be with me. But now that I thought about it, it made sense to go with him. We were a family now. "If you would rather go with Charlie, I understand."_

"_No, I'd like to go with you. It _should_ be you. Can you maybe get my nurse?" I asked._

"_Of course," he replied with a small smile. _

_While he was gone, I placed the flowers on the side table and then began to sit up. The pain wasn't too bad, but it was definitely there. By the time I stood, Edward had returned with my nurse and a wheelchair. _

"_Do you need help?" He rushed over to me and offered his arm for support._

"_No, I'm okay. Just takes a few minutes, that's all."_

"_Heading over to see your babies?" my nurse asked. She looked like she was a teenager with her young face and perfectly highlighted blonde hair. _

"_Yeah!" I replied with excitement in my voice. I couldn't wait to meet them._

"_That's great! Once you're done, I'd like to see you walk a little bit. If you need something for pain after, that's fine. Remember, the more you walk, the faster you heal. The faster you heal, the faster you can get out of here."_

"_I will," I replied as I sat in the wheelchair. "Edward, can you grab my camera? It's in my bag."_

"_I have mine. I'll download the pictures for you when we're done."_

_Edward wheeled me to the NICU in silence. I was feeling so many things that it made my head spin: hope, anxiety, fear, sadness, and excitement. I wasn't sure what to expect when we got there, but it didn't matter. I just needed to see them already. It had been six days since they were born, and all this waiting was only adding to my anxiety. Dad had assured me they were doing well, but I didn't believe him. I needed to see it for myself._

"_We need to wash our hands and put smocks on," Edward said as we arrived at the NICU._

"_Why?" I asked, confused._

"_So we don't bring in germs. I should warn you that it may be scary when we go in. It's a bit overwhelming to see all those babies with tubes and wires."_

_After scrubbing down and dressing in a gown, Edward took me in to see the twins. I was thankful that he had given me the warning, because the moment I was inside the NICU, I wanted to cry. I wasn't sure how the nurses and doctors could do this without crying. The sight of the babies and the machines was overwhelming. As I felt the tears form in my eyes, I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked up and saw Edward in front of me, bending down to eye level._

"_Are you alright?" he asked._

"_I... I think so. I didn't think it would look like this."_

"_I know. It'll be okay. I promise. Ready?"_

_I nodded and Edward wheeled me over to our twins. The moment I laid eyes on them, I felt my entire world shift. I first laid eyes on my son. He was small, but so perfect. Edward unlatched the side of the isolette for me and told me that I could touch him. Hesitantly, I reached my hand in and gently touched his tiny hand. _

"_Hi, sweet boy," I whispered. "It's Mommy. I'm sorry it took me this long to come and see you, but I'm not going anywhere now. You just keep getting stronger, okay? I love you." I could feel tears stinging my eyes, and quickly wiped them away._

"_Here," Edward said as he handed me a tissue. I looked up and saw that he, too, was crying._

"_Thanks."_

_I stood and walked a few steps to my daughter. She had more tubes and things attached to her. I was afraid to touch her, but I desperately wanted to. I needed her to know that I was here and needed to feel her touch. Instead, I placed my hand on her isolette._

"_Hi, my little princess, it's Mommy. I've missed you. I can't wait to hold you, but for now, just get better, okay? I love you," I said as my voice cracked. Suddenly, I felt a pair of arms wrap around me. I turned and buried my face in Edward's chest and sobbed. I didn't want this to be happening. I didn't want them to be in the NICU, but still inside me where they belonged. _

"_Is she alright?" I heard a nurse ask._

"_Yeah. Just overwhelmed I think," Edward replied. He continued to hold me tightly in his arms until my sobs quieted. I wasn't expecting this kindness from him, and I didn't know what to make of it. Was he doing it because he really cared about me, or was he doing it to get me to quiet down? Whatever his reason, I felt oddly safe in his arms, which scared me. I didn't want to forgive him and rush back into his arms just because I was feeling overwhelmed and vulnerable. _

_Once I was calm, he asked, "Are you okay?"_

_I nodded. "Sorry, I didn't mean to just breakdown like that."_

"_Don't be sorry. I did the same thing."_

"_You did?" I asked, surprised. I had never seen Edward cry until now._

"_Yeah. I noticed you didn't touch our daughter."_

"_I wanted to, but I didn't think I could," I murmured. My chin started to tremble and my vision became cloudy at the possibility that I couldn't touch her yet. I wanted to, more than anything. I wanted to commit her touch to my memory – the same way I did with her brother._

"_Of course you can. Here, let me open it for you."_

_Edward opened this side of the isolette for me. I carefully reached in to touch my sweet baby girl. Her tiny fingers wrapped around mine. I wasn't sure if it was her way of telling me everything would be okay, but that's what I felt when I touched her. Her grip was amazingly strong for someone so tiny, and I guessed that she gotten her strength from Edward. _

_After spending some more time with our twins, Edward and I left the NICU. We walked the halls on my floor a few times before we went back to my room so I could take something for the pain in my abdomen. I knew we had to talk – the sooner the better. There were so many important things to discuss. It wouldn't be easy, but it needed to be done._

"_Do you want to talk?" I asked hesitantly. _

"_Yeah. I guess we have to, don't we?" He sat in the same chair as before, but he didn't meet my gaze. I wondered what was going through his head. If it was anything like mine, then I was pretty sure he was still overwhelmed with everything._

"_Yeah." I decided to start off with something easy and hoped we could get through this without an argument. I didn't have the energy for one. "I've been thinking about names, and I have a few I like."_

"_Oh?"_

"_I was thinking about Masen Charles and Madison Alyse." I wanted to name the twins after the two people who had been there for me: Dad and Alice. I didn't know where I would be without them. They meant more to me then they knew._

"_Masen and Madison," he said quietly as he looked out the small window in my room. I hated when he did that; it made me feel like he was thinking about something – and someone – else. "What made you decide on those?"_

"_I haven't decided, Edward. They're just two names I like. What about you?"_

"_I... hadn't given it much thought," he mumbled. "I figured you'd name them." _

"_Seriously?" I asked annoyed. "Why?"_

"_Bella, do we have to have this discussion?" he asked. I could tell he was getting uncomfortable, as he was pulling on his hair._

"_Yes. We can't have whatever this is hanging over our heads anymore, Edward. We need to figure things out so we can focus on our kids."_

_Edward let out a long, hard sigh, placed his elbows on his knees, and hid his face in his hands. "Fine. I didn't give any thoughts to naming them because I wasn't sure if you'd let me. I haven't been there, I know, so I figured you'd do it and not give me any input."_

"_They're not just _mine_, you know. They're _ours. _When are you going to realize that?" I snapped at him. _

"How could he still not understand this?" _I thought._

"_I guess I'm just waiting for you to tell me that you don't want me around them."_

"_Why would I say that?" I wondered._

"_Because I haven't been there. Because of the shit I did with Tanya. I don't know, take your pick," he hissed at me. I saw that he was irritated and possibly angry for having this conversation, but we had to. There were things that needed to be said, even if they were said in a hospital room. Sure, the location was not the most ideal, but if this is where it happened, then so be it._

"_Edward, I won't lie and say that you being with Tanya didn't affect me, because it did. You chose her over me, and it hurt. I don't care if you want to be with someone, Edward, just please not her. I know I have no business telling you who you can and cannot date, but it hurts too much to see you with her." I couldn't believe how honest I was being. For whatever reason, it seemed to come easy today. I wasn't sure if it was because our children were here and we couldn't put it off anymore, or if we both realized that it was time we both grow up. Whatever it was, I wasn't going to stop it no matter how difficult it was to hear._

"_I know it is," he said quietly. "I regret my reaction to the news that you were pregnant. I was shocked, but you didn't deserve the way I reacted. I'm sorry for that."_

"_Thank you," I replied. "I'm sorry if I seemed... pushy in my actions to get you involved."_

"_Don't," Edward said sternly. "Don't apologize for that. You have nothing to be sorry for in all of this. You were the adult here, and I was still acting like a child. I... I wasn't..."_

"_Just say it, Edward."_

"_I didn't want you to keep them," he whispered. I kind of had a feeling that was his reason, but still, I was hoping there was a different one. I was prepared for him to say he acted the way he did because he hated me, but to hear him say he never wanted me to keep them took the breath from my lungs. Did he honestly want me to put them up them for adoption, or have an abortion? I felt like the rug had been pulled out from under me. "I didn't. It's a horrible thing to say, but it's true."_

"_It is horrible." _

"Would he always resent me for keeping them? Would he resent our twins?" _I thought. I just didn't understand him anymore. How could anyone resent a child?_

"_I know, but I don't feel like that now. They're so precious, Bella. I was terrified when they were born, but I see how strong they are and I know they'll be fine. I know raising them won't be easy, but we'll do the best we can."_

_"That's all I want, Edward. My biggest fear is that you'll take them from me." My voice sounded so small when I said this. If he was waiting for me to tell him to stay away from the twins, then this is what I was waiting for him to throw at me. _

"_Why would I take them from you? You're their mother."_

"_Yes, but your family is more financially stable than mine," I admitted. The difference between his net worth and mine was astounding._

"_None of that matters to me. As long as they have what they need -"_

"_But Edward," I interrupted. "Let's be honest. Your family has never had to live paycheck to paycheck. How can you possibly say that finances haven't crossed your mind?"_

"_They haven't. Maybe that's still the teenager in me, but I believe it will work itself out."_

"_I don't want to be _that_ kind of mother, Edward. I don't want to call you and beg you for money for our kids. I don't want to seem desperate, you know?" I hoped he realized all that I was sacrificing by working, and how I had yet to complain about it. I would do anything for my babies, and if that meant working two jobs to make sure they had everything they needed, I would do it. I wasn't sure if I could say the same for Edward, though._

"_What about living arrangements?"_

"_I would never tell you that you couldn't see them, but do you even have a crib?" I asked. I wasn't sure how much he had prepared for them. My guess was that it wasn't much._

"_Esme's been creating a nursery for them, but I'm not sure what she has yet."_

"_Why are you letting her do it?" I asked angrily as I slammed my fists onto the mattress. "These are _your_ children, not hers! This is something that _you_ should be doing. When Dad and I went shopping for the crib and everything else, my mind went crazy trying to pick out the furniture I wanted for them and how I wanted their room to look."_

"_You should get your rest, Bella. I'll come back tomorrow morning and we can go back to the NICU," Edward said suddenly. Before I could reply, he was on his feet and out the door, practically slamming it behind him. I wasn't sure what I said to make him suddenly decide to leave, but I hoped that whatever it was would make him realize how far removed he was from the situation. _

As the weeks passed, Masen and Maddy continued to get stronger. Carlisle and Esme, along with my Dad, had found an extended-stay hotel for Edward and I to stay in. Thankfully it was only a few blocks from the hospital, so most days we'd walk.

"_Bella, can I ask you something?" Edward asked as we left the hospital one night. Masen was scheduled to be released tomorrow, a week ahead of schedule. I was so excited that he was healthy enough to be leaving. Maddy was still required a little bit of oxygen, so she would be staying a few more days, if not another week. _

"_Sure."_

"_I was wondering if you'd like to get dinner with me?" he asked nervously._

"_Where were you thinking?" I asked. A night where I didn't cook dinner sounded wonderful. I was getting tired of microwave meals and fast food. I tried to cook a normal meal when I could, but some nights I was just too tired after spending time with the twins to cook anything._

"_I thought we'd go further into Seattle and find something. Maybe find a Mexican restaurant or something. I just feel like celebrating." Edward was excited and joyful. I hadn't seen this side of him in a long time. I missed it and hoped this side of him would stay for a while._

"_Oh. I actually wanted to go to Target or something tonight. I want to print off the new pictures of Mad and Mas and send them to Alice, and maybe find a cute new outfit for Masen," I replied as I fidgeted with the camera. It wasn't that I didn't want to go to dinner, I just had a few things I needed to get done._

"_We could do both, if you'd like?"_

"_Okay," I replied with a smile. _

_Edward and I returned to our hotel room so I could quickly upload the photos. I wanted them to be printed and ready for us. I also took a quick inventory of what we had for formula and diapers and realized we only had a few of each. That wasn't going to last long. After a list was made of things I needed, Edward and I left for dinner. For the most part, our conversation was light and easy, which was a nice change. Once we got to Target, I immediately went to the infant section and filled my cart with diapers, wipes, formula and other things I knew we'd need until we finally went back home to Forks. _

"_Bella, aren't you overdoing it?" Edward asked. There was a slight edge to his voice, and I couldn't figure out why it was there or where it had come from. _

"_Huh?"_

"_Do you honestly need that many diapers?"_

"_Yes. Have you not been paying attention to how often he goes? It's not like you can keep him in one diaper all day, he'll get a rash. Not to mention, it's nasty. Besides, once Maddy is out of the hospital, we'll have to buy even more."_

"_Yeah, but we're probably going home in a week. Why buy so many now?"_

"_Um, who said we were going home in a week? Maddy's doctor said she still needs time. What's the rush to get back?" I asked, annoyed. It seemed like there was something he wasn't telling me._

"_It's your due date, right? The doctor told us they'd keep them until that day."_

"_Yes, but obviously Maddy needs more time because of her breathing. The only reason Masen is ready to come home is because he was bigger and didn't have as many issues to deal with."_

"_But still. If we need something, we can ask Esme to bring it from home rather than buying it now."_

_I suddenly realized where this was coming from. "Oh, so _that's _what this is about – me spending money. Well don't worry, I'm not spending any of _yours,_ and if I want to buy diapers and things now, I will," I said angrily as I pushed my cart toward the infant clothing section. I knew the issue of money would come up sooner or later, I just didn't expect it to come up in the middle of Target. I couldn't believe he was upset that I was buying things. It wasn't like I was buying silly things. As I added a few cute outfits for both kids, Edward stood next to the cart and scowled before pulling out his cell phone. I wasn't sure who he was texting, but I didn't care. I just wanted to get back to the hotel and get everything ready for tomorrow. _

_After I paid for everything at Target, Edward drove us back to the hotel in complete silence. Once we were back, I quickly gathered the bags and headed into my room. I didn't hear Edward come in behind me, either. I spent the rest of the night getting everything put away. Dad had brought down the bassinets last weekend, so I spent some time reassembling one and placing it next to my bed. My heart raced with anticipation knowing that in twenty-four hours my son would be with me. The only thing that could make that thought better was if Maddy would be joining us, but I knew she would be fine in the hospital and that she would join us soon. _

_The next morning, I got up and had one last look over everything before going over to Edward's room to see if he was ready. After knocking for a few minutes with no answer, I decided to just walk over to the hospital. As I walked through the lobby, I saw Edward standing next to his car in the same clothes he wore yesterday. I knew then that he hadn't returned to the hotel after dropping me off last night and became angry. I wanted to know where he had been and what he had done, but it wasn't my place to ask. It wasn't like we were dating or anything._

A week and a half after Masen left the hospital, Maddy was able to come home. I was thankful that her doctor agreed to discharge her early in the morning, rather than in the afternoon like they did with Masen. Once we signed the papers, we loaded Maddy in the car and made the trip home. Esme had called while we were on the road and asked us to come to her house. Apparently, Alice decided a party was in order. This would be the first time our friends would meet the twins. When we arrived, there were pink and blue balloons and streamers everywhere as well as a tent in the back yard.

"They're here!" Alice yelled from the driveway. I had to giggle at her excitement. "They're here, they're here, they're here!"

"Think she's excited?" I joked.

"Nah. Not at all," Edward said with a chuckle as he parked the car. "Do you want to leave the car seats here?"

"Might as well."

We unstrapped the twins from their car seats and grabbed the diaper bags before heading out back to greet everyone. Everyone was waiting for us. There were wonderful smells coming from the grill that made my mouth water. The moment we were in Esme's view, she came rushing over and took Maddy from me while Dad took Masen from Edward. Throughout the night they were passed around and held by everyone.

It had been a few hours since they had eaten, so I went inside to make them each a bottle. As I was waiting for the bottles to warm up, I felt someone press up against me and run a finger from my neck down to the small of my back.

"Hello, beautiful," a voice said from behind me. My entire body went stiff. That voice had been a co-conspirator in the destruction of my happiness. That voice made my blood boil. "I see you've got your figure back. Damn, you look good."

I slowly turned around only to see the one person I thought would never show his face in town again. The last thing I had heard about him was that he was joining the military.

"James," I said quietly. "What are you going here?" I didn't know how he could slip in without someone seeing him.

"I was in town. Saw the cars outside and heard you were here, so I thought I'd pay my respects. I'm shipping out for basic training in a few days, and I wanted to tell you something."

"What's that?"

"I wanted to apologize for what happened between you and Edward. I didn't think it would go that far. I should have said something. I am so very sorry for my part," he said sincerely.

His words left me speechless. "Oh. Thank you for that, James."

"Is Edward still seeing Tanya?" he asked curiously.

"No. Why?" I asked, pulling the bottles from the warmer.

"Interesting," he said.

"What's interesting?"

"It seems Tanya is telling people she's pregnant. I don't know how true it is, though. She's gone a little psycho recently."

I couldn't believe this was happening. This had to be some sort of sick joke or something. Surely Edward wouldn't betray me like this.

"Excuse me? Edward's been with me the whole time."

"Are you sure about that?" he asked. I knew Edward had gone somewhere the night before Masen was released from the hospital, but could he really have gone back to Forks? _Could it be true that he was with Tanya?_ I had to believe that it wasn't true, but the look in James' eyes made me think otherwise.

"How far along does she say she is?" My heart was shattering into a million pieces.

"Something like eight weeks. You don't believe me, do you?" he asked.

"No. Edward wouldn't do that to me." _Eight weeks? _That would mean he had to have seen her more than once. _Please let this just be another sick rumor. _

"I wouldn't be so sure about that." He reached in his back pocket, pulled out a thick envelope, and handed it to me.

"What's this?" I asked confused.

"Proof."

"Proof of what?" I asked through gritted teeth.

"See for yourself. Like I said, I don't know if it's true, but you should look at those. You're a beautiful girl and deserve so much better. I didn't want you to find out through a rumor and be hurt again. See ya," James said as he walked out.

I stood there for a moment not knowing what to think. I wanted so much to believe that it was a lie; that Edward had stayed true to me. I slowly opened the envelope, pulled out the pictures, and flipped through them one by one while my hands and body shook. Each of them broke my heart a bit more than the last. Some of them were just of Edward and Tanya talking outside of a hotel. Then they turned into pictures of them kissing, followed by Tanya leading him into the hotel with her hand in his and a smile on his face. I grabbed the bottles, pictures still in hand, and went back outside. I found Edward standing next to Emmett, who was holding Masen. The moment I was in arms reach, I reached back and slapped him with everything I had.

"You son of a bitch!" I screamed. "How could you do this?"

"What are you talking about?" Edward asked, shocked. He started rubbing the spot on his cheek where I hit him.

"You _know_ what I'm talking about." My heart was racing, my breathing rapid. I felt like everything Edward and I had worked on in our relationship was nothing more than a lie. I could feel the anger boiling inside me. I had never felt this angry, this hurt, in a long time. He knew how much it hurt me to see him with Tanya, and now that I had proof that he was with her yet again, I knew it was over. I was over crying for Edward. I was over opening myself up to him. I was just over _everything_.

"No, I don't really. What the hell are you talking about?" His eyes were narrowed now, his lips in a tight line. He was angry. Pissed, really, but I didn't care. If he wasn't going to admit what he had done, then I knew he was never sincere in the first place. This realization added another brick to the wall I was quickly building around myself. He would never make me feel this way again. I took Masen from Emmett and threw the pictures at Edward. They struck his chest and scattered on the ground for everyone to see. I heard people gasping. I stood there and watched as his face turned white.

"Shit," he whispered quietly.

"Did you think I wouldn't find out?" I spat.

"When were these taken, Ed?" Emmett asked picking up one from the ground and studying it. He acted as shocked as Edward was.

"I'd say about eight weeks ago or so," I said. "She's pregnant, you know."

"What? Who? Who's pregnant?" Jasper asked as he joined us. I suddenly realized that the party had gone silent around us.

"Tanya. She's pregnant and says it's _yours_." I was fighting back tears. I wouldn't let Edward, or anyone else for that matter, see me cry. I had to be strong. "How could you do this?"

"Ed, is that true?" Jasper asked again.

"No! Of course not! I haven't been with her, I swear!" he pleaded.

"Sure you haven't," I said as I walked away. I didn't care that everyone at the party had stopped what they were doing and were looking at me. I just wanted to get Maddy and leave. I heard Alice behind me as she said she would get Edward's keys and take me home.

"What's going on? What's with all the shouting?" Esme asked as she joined me with Maddy in her arms.

"Ask your son," I replied. I took Maddy from her arms and carefully, yet quickly, walked to the garage, making sure I didn't trip on something and fall with both babies in my arms.

"Bella, _please_! Please believe me!" Edward begged. He was on his way over to us with Emmett and Jasper on his heels. I didn't want to see him or talk to him right now. I was on the verge of losing my nerve, and I refused to let him see me break down. "I didn't do anything get her pregnant! Those aren't real!" There was a hint of desperation in his voice, but I didn't believe him.

"So much for building trust, Edward."

"You can trust me, Bella," Edward said. "Please believe me. I wouldn't do anything to hurt you."

"You know what I believe, Edward?" I asked as I got into the car. "I believe that you did try, but for whatever reason, you just can't stay away from her. Maybe it's the fact that she'll sleep with you whenever you want and I won't. Is that it?"

"No. You know I would never -"

"I don't know what to believe from you anymore, but I do know this: any chance you had of getting back together is gone. Let's go, Alice." She walked around her brother without saying a word to him she was so mad. Before Edward could answer, I slammed the door and a fuming Alice drove off.

I didn't look back.


	9. Chapter 9

**Thank you to my wonderful pre-readers: piperann_25, Shadowed by Passion and KannnD, and to the wonderful betas over at Project Team Beta. **

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**A/N: Just want to mention something before I get flammed for it: I've decided to make my Forks a college town. I've done this because one, I wanted something different, and two, I can't think of anyone living in Forks and driving the few hours it takes to get to Port Angeles everyday just for school. I hope you all enjoy the little change I made to Forks.**

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All our guests left after Bella and Edward's scene in the back yard. Esme was beyond embarrassed, and Emmett and Jasper looked like they were ready to kill Edward at a moment's notice. Of all the days that this had to happen, karma had to pick today. It seemed that every time we were celebrating something good, something horrible had to happen.

"Edward, did you sleep with her?" I asked, already knowing the answer. Edward looked ashamed.

"Yes," he said quietly as he hung his head.

"When?"

"A while ago."

"How long is a _while_?" I demanded. I couldn't believe he had done this. _Where had I gone wrong with him? When did he get it in his head that doing these kinds of things was okay? _I didn't know how to get through to him.

"A few months or so?"

"Oh, Edward, _why_? Why on Earth would you do that?" Esme asked.

"It wasn't planned! Bella and I got into an argument, and I had a moment of weakness."

"And that makes it _okay_?" Jasper asked as he leaned against the door frame. He always liked to be on the edge of conversations because, according to him, it gave him a better perspective on the problem in front of him. His arms were folded across his chest and his brow was furrowed. Jasper was pretty laid back, but you could definitely tell when he was angry. "Christ, Edward! When are you going to realize you have a good woman in Bella? She's the mother of your children and yet you treat her like she's nothing! I seriously hope she dumps your ass. You fucking deserve it!" he spat before walking away.

"I hate to say it, son, but you've just ruined the best thing that's happened to you," I said. I wasn't sure what to do. _Should I let him figure it out on his own? Do I somehow punish him? He was an adult now, so would punishing him even work?_ Something needed to be done – I just wasn't sure what. I hated the feeling of not knowing how to fix this situation.

"You know, she's no saint, either," Edward said. "She took my kids and left without giving me a chance to explain. Why isn't anyone giving _her_ the third degree?"

"You're right on that part, Edward," Esme said. "Bella should have at least given you a chance to explain. However, given your previous actions, I can't say I blame her for leaving."

"Thanks. That makes me feel _so_ much better," Edward said, sarcasm dripping from his voice. "Glad to see who's side you're on."

"Excuse me?" Esme asked. "I'm not on anyone's side, Edward. I'm merely stating the truth. Your past gives even me reason to not want to hear your excuses."

"I don't even know why I called Tanya. I just needed to talk to someone who wouldn't make me feel like shit."

"You know you can talk to us about anything, Edward," I replied.

"It doesn't feel like I can anymore. I see the disappointment in your eyes all the time. I just feel like no matter what I do I will always be a failure," Edward whispered. He turned his head away and quickly wiped a tear from his eye. He looked and sounded so vulnerable, so insecure.

"Where's your cell phone, Edward?" Esme asked breaking the silence in the room.

"Why?" Edward asked quickly. There was a hint of nervousness in his voice. _What was he hiding?_

"I want to speak with Tanya."

"Is that really a good idea, Esme?" I asked.

"I'm sick and tired of all of this! Now, either you call her and tell her to come over, or I will!" she shouted. Esme rarely raised her voice, so I knew she was more than a little upset.

Edward cautiously pulled out his cell phone and quickly dialed Tanya's number. Apparently she didn't need a lot of convincing, because twenty minutes later she was standing at our door with a smile on her face. She looked excited to be here – like this was a social visit or something. I escorted her to the dining room where we were all sitting and watched as she proudly sat next to Edward.

"I just have one question for you, Tanya," I started. "Why do you have such an interest in ruining Bella and Edward's relationship?"

"It's quite simple, Dr. Cullen," she said. "I simply provide Edward with what Bella refuses to give."

"And what is that?" I asked. I wasn't sure if I wanted to hear it, but perhaps it would give me a better idea of what was going on in her mind.

"Bella is a good girl. And Edward...well, lets just say Edward has a side of him that she could never handle. Really, when you think about it, he's getting every man's fantasy: the good girl he can bring home to his mother, and the bad girl that his brothers desire; the one they all fantasize about when their girlfriends aren't around," she said with an eyebrow raised. She was looking directly at Emmett when she spoke. Emmett was so disgusted at Tanya's statement that he grabbed Rose's hand and left the house. I didn't blame him. "

"Tanya, I will not let you disrespect me or my family in my own home," I said sternly.

"Are you really pregnant?" Edward asked. "I mean, I used a condom."

"Of course I am. Besides, you used one with Bella and look how that turned out."

"And you're sure it's Edward's?" I asked. Tanya didn't answer, and the room was quiet. We all waited for an answer. I wanted her to say it was a lie, that she just wanted to be with Edward, but yet, I knew that wouldn't be the case. I wasn't sure what to make of all of this. How would Edward be able to handle twins and another baby? How would any of us be able to handle that? I just didn't know.

"Yes, it's Edward's," she said with a sly smile.

Just then we heard the front door open. I prayed it was just Alice. But when a second voice was heard, Tanya's smile disappeared.

"What's going on?" Alice asked as she walked in. "Why is _she_ here?"

"We're just talking about your newest niece or nephew," Tanya replied. She wrapped her arm around Edward's, and then laced her fingers with his. At Tanya's touch, Edward tensed but didn't pull away.

"My newest niece and nephew are with Charlie at the moment," Alice said.

"Not _those_," Tanya said disgustedly while rolling her eyes. "We're talking about _my_ baby."

"Like yours is even important," Alice said.

Bella entered the room then, but stayed close to the doorway. I hated that she had to witness this. She had been through enough lately and I was afraid that this could send her over the edge. My biggest fear was that she would keep the twins away from us.

"Oh, hello, Bella. I'm glad you're here. We should figure out visitation plans," Tanya said.

"What are you talking about?" Bella asked. I noticed that she had stayed close to the doorway even though Alice had motioned for her to come and sit down. I couldn't blame her for her hesitation, and wanted nothing more than to hug her and tell her things would be okay.

"Well, the way I see it is that Edward and I will be spending quite a bit of time together getting ready for our baby, but I still want to make sure he sees the twins."

"Tanya, there's no way in _hell_ I'm letting you anywhere near my babies," Bella said.

"That's going to be difficult," Tanya said.

"Why's that?" I asked.

"Because if I get my way, Edward will be spending every moment with me. I'm not going through the next few months by myself. I'll let him experience the pregnancy the way Bella didn't. When you think about it, Bella, you were really selfish and stubborn during the whole thing."

"You know what I find interesting about all of this, Tanya?" Bella asked.

"What's that?"

"It was James who told me about the photos. _James_. If you were really out to hurt me or Edward, you would have told us yourself."

"Edward, let's talk baby names," Tanya said dismissing Bella with a change of subject.

"Not right now," Edward said.

"Why? We need to start planning."

"Because there is no way that baby is mine!" Edward shouted as he pushed away from Tanya.

"There's no way you're denying this one like you did with hers at the beginning! Just because you think that night was a mistake, doesn't mean you didn't enjoy it! If I remember correctly, you couldn't stop saying my name and begging for more. You said it was the best you'd ever had. Better than with Bella, if I remember correctly."

**EdwardPOV**

I was so angry I wanted to hit something – hard. Tanya was only saying these things to provoke a response from Bella, and I could see how much it hurt her. Seeing Bella in pain because of my stupid mistake made me feel like I didn't deserve to live. In fact, I _knew_ I didn't deserve to live. Bella and the twins were the most important thing to me, and I wasn't going to let this tramp ruin everything I've worked so hard for.

"I'm not listening to this," Bella said as she walked out of the dining room. I got up to follow her. I had to make sure she knew Tanya was lying. She _had_ to be.

"Bella, please wait," I said.

"I don't want to talk to you about this."

"_Please_," I begged.

"What?" she asked sternly as she turned around.

"Don't believe a word she's saying."

"Tell me the truth, Edward. When was the last time you were with her?"

"He was with me two weeks ago," Tanya said from the doorway.

"_Tanya_! That's a damn lie and you know it!" I shouted angrily.

"You know what, the two of you are perfect for each other. Don't worry about Maddy and Masen, Edward. We'll be fine," Bella said. "I just thought we could figure out a schedule since I'm starting back at work and I'm looking at taking a few classes at U Dub Forks, but obviously you're preoccupied with other things." She grabbed Masen's blanket, which was on the couch, and walked out. We all stood there for a moment, then watched at Tanya left as well.

_When the hell had everything gone wrong? How could I have let this happen again?_ I wanted to be with Bella more than anything, and I thought we were making progress in our relationship. I couldn't believe I had ruined it with one night with Tanya. I didn't even know why I called her in the first place. I should have just gone to my room, but instead I called her and begged to see her. There had to be something wrong with me. I wasn't as attracted to Tanya as I was Bella, yet I couldn't get enough of her.

"Edward," Carlisle said.

"Please don't. I know what a mess I have on my hands."

Emmett walked over to me. I hadn't realized he had returned to the house. "Ed, you're my brother, but damn! You totally have a good thing with Bella. Something I would kill to have with Rose."

"You have a great relationship with Rose," I said.

"True. But you have a family. Do you get that? Having a family changes everything. It's not something you can just walk away from and go back to when it's convenient to you. Every decision you make will directly affect Maddy and Masen," Emmett said.

"You wouldn't know the first thing -" My words were stopped when Emmett's fist struck my face. It wasn't that hard of a hit, but it was forceful enough to knock me to the floor. "What was that for?"

"Because you don't deserve Bella and the twins," he replied before storming out of the house again.

He was right. I didn't. That one night with Tanya ruined any chance I had for a relationship with Bella. I knew Charlie would never forgive me once he found out. I just prayed Bella would allow me time with Maddy and Masen. If I didn't have them, I truly would have nothing and that would be death of me.

**BellaPOV**

"Bella," Tanya called from behind me. "I think you and I should talk."

"About what? I have nothing to say to you." I was on the front steps heading for my car, wanting nothing more than to just go home.

"I'll make this quick," she replied as she walked down the stairs. She turned to face me before she spoke again. "Stay away from my boyfriend. Once I have his baby, I'll be wearing his ring and become his wife. Me, not you."

"You're seriously delusional, you know that, right?"

"I mean it. If I find out you're with him, I'll -"

"You'll what?" I asked, suddenly brave. "You're pregnant, Tanya, or at least you say you are. You're in no condition to do anything physical. So say what you want, and leave me alone."

"Just so you know, when I'm alone with Edward, he tells me how lousy you were. How you had no idea what you were doing and how much he hated it. He just loves everything I can do to him and for him. Things you couldn't even imagine. So if you're hoping that he'll come back to you, think again. He's mine. No one – certainly not someone as insignificant as _you_ – can take him from me. Try it and you'll regret it. I _promise_ you," she threatened. Her voice was laced with venom and for once, I was a bit frightened. "And as for your children...they're bastards. Edward doesn't want them. He never has. You should have listened to him when he asked you to get rid of them."

Before I could stop myself, I took four quick steps so I was standing directly in front of her. "Do _not_ speak about my kids!" I screamed. "Don't think for one minute that your child is special! If you think that I believe this little lie of yours, you're joking. I seriously doubt you're pregnant, and when Edward figures it out – which he will – I'll be the first one to say 'I told you so'. You're nothing more than a gold-digging bitch, Tanya!"

"Fuck you!" she shouted back. Just as she raised her hand to slap me, Emmett appeared. He wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me away from her. "You're lucky he pulled you away! I would totally fuck you up!"

"Go to hell, you whore!" I screamed at her. I was struggling against Emmett's grip. I wanted to break free from him to smack Tanya for talking about my kids. He carried me to the other side of the garage before placing me on my feet.

"Simmer down there, Bells."

"She fucking called my kids bastards, Emmett!"

"I know. But if you do something to her, you're only sinking to her level, even though I'd totally love it if you kicked her ass."

"Do you really think Edward feels that way about me? That I'm not good enough for him?" I asked. I hated that I was going to cry over him again, but I couldn't help it. The more she said it, the more I believed it.

"No way, Bells," he said as he placed his hands on my shoulders. He looked directly into my eyes and I could tell he was sincere. "_She's_ not good enough for him. She's nothing but trash and could never compare to you."

"She's prettier -"

"Enough with that shit," he said. "You are a beautiful girl, Bella. Someday a man is going to sweep you off your feet and make you see just how beautiful and smart you are. And of course, I'll have to threaten bodily harm if he hurts one hair on your pretty little head." I laughed knowing Emmett meant every word. "Don't listen to Tanya, okay? We all love you and support you."

I wrapped my arms around Emmett's neck and hugged him. "Thanks, Em," I whispered.

The next morning, I found myself sitting in the kitchen looking at a calendar. I would be starting back to work next week and I needed to figure out what days I would have a sitter for the twins and what days I needed to be home. Dad had a set schedule, which was great, but it was Edward I wasn't sure about. I didn't know what he had planned as far as school was concerned, and I wasn't sure if Carlisle and Esme were serious when they said they would help out as well.

On top of juggling work and parenting, I had decided to apply to the University of Washington – Forks Campus. They didn't have the science program I wanted, but I thought I could maybe take a few general courses and figure out my major later. College was important to me, and I knew I wouldn't work at Newton's forever. I needed a good job to provide for my family. I still wasn't sure how I would pay for it, but I did have some money in my savings account. As much as I didn't want to, I realized I would have to take out a student loan. I had a meeting this afternoon with a financial aid adviser to discuss what options I had.

"Good morning," Rebecca said as she walked into the kitchen. "How were the twins last night?"

"They were up about every hour and a half."

"Aw. You could have woken me. I would have sat with them for a bit so you could sleep." I watched as she filled a mug full of coffee for herself and one for Dad, who appeared a few moments later in his uniform.

"It's okay. I'm hoping they'll sleep for a few hours this afternoon," I replied before yawning.

"Are you still meeting the financial aid adviser today?" Dad asked.

"Yeah. I don't know if I'll be able to register, but at least I can get an idea of what I need to do."

"I'm sure things will work out, honey. We can talk about it tonight." He quickly kissed Rebecca before leaving for work.

Later that morning, Esme called and asked if I would bring the twins over, saying she and Carlisle wanted to talk to me. She wouldn't say what they wanted, but I agreed anyway. I wasn't sure how long we would be there, so as well as packing stuff for the twins, I also slipped in some forms I had already filled out for school. When I pulled up in front of the Cullen's home, Esme was already waiting for me.

"I wasn't sure if you were going to come," she said as I got out of the car.

"Why wouldn't I?"

"After what happened last night...I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

I opened the backdoor and pulled out the diaper bags before unbuckling Masen's car seat, as Esme unbuckled Maddy for me, and together we walked into the house. It was quiet and I wondered if everyone was home.

"Would you like some tea?" she asked as we sat on the sofa in the living room. "I have a pot ready."

"Sure, thank you."

Since the twins were asleep in their seats, I let them be. Instead, I pulled out the folder with the financial aid stuff and my schedule. Esme reappeared and sat the tea on the coffee table in front of us. Carlisle was with her and looked just as concerned about last night's events as Esme had.

"What do you have there, Bella?" he asked.

"Oh, my work schedule and some paperwork for a meeting I have later."

"Meeting? Is everything okay?"

"Yes. It's for school. I'm meeting with someone to figure out what options I have if I want to take a few classes."

"Oh that's wonderful," Esme replied as she handed me a mug of tea. "I'm so glad you haven't given up the idea of going to school."

"Yeah well, I'm not sure if I can afford it or if there are classes available around my schedule." I took a sip of tea and looked again at my schedule.

"Speaking of your schedule," Carlisle said, "we want you to know that we were serious when we said we'd help you. Whatever days you need us to take them, we will."

"Thank you, but I don't want to take advantage."

"You wouldn't be, my dear. We want to help you," Carlisle replied. He reached over the coffee table, took my hand in his and squeezed. "I know you don't like handouts, and I know you want to do this on your own, but please know that if you need anything, or if the twins need anything, you can come to us without hesitation. You're family now, and we stick by our family. The truth is, Bella, you always have been. From the minute Alice brought you home and said you were her new best friend, we knew you'd be one of us someday. We love you, Bella, truly. Despite what happened last night with Edward, we just want you to know that we'll always be here for you."

I was stunned at Carlisle's words, yet I knew he meant every one of them. I didn't know what to say to him. _Thank you_, didn't seem like enough. I quickly wiped away the few tears that had escaped my eyes and took another sip of tea as I thought about what to say. Thankfully, the silence was broken by Maddy who chose that moment to cry. Esme quickly unbuckled her from her seat and held her against her shoulder.

"There, there, my sweet one," she cooed.

"Carlisle, I appreciate what you just said to me. I would never keep the twins from either of you or the family regardless of what happens between Edward and me. Both of you have been like family to me, as well," I said honestly.

A few hours after we arrived, the alarm on my phone went off, signaling it was time to go to my meeting. My nerves kicked in then. I was worried that I wouldn't be able to afford school; that I would have to take out a massive student loan that I would never be able to repay. That was something I didn't want to do. I didn't want to be in debt so young, yet I really wanted to go to school and make a good life for me and the twins. As I was packing up the diaper bags to leave, Esme stopped me.

"Bella, I know you have an appointment to get to, but I was hoping you wouldn't mind if I came along?" she asked.

"Why?"

"I just don't want you to feel like you're being forced to sign something or make a decision."

I hadn't thought of that when I first made the appointment, but now that Esme had mentioned it, she had a point. "I'd like that, thank you."

"Carlisle said we could leave the twins here, if you'd like. Alice and Rosalie should be home soon, and I'm sure they'd like to spend time with them."

I had learned that everyone had been asked to leave so that I felt comfortable during my talk with Carlisle and Esme. Apparently they were worried that I would feel like I was being ambushed if everyone was there. It was a nice thing to do, but unnecessary.

"Have you thought about what you'd like to major in?" Esme asked on the drive over to the school.

"No. Originally, when I applied to Minnesota, I wanted to do something in science."

"And now you're not sure?"

"It still interests me, but I'm wondering if I shouldn't do something easier, something quicker."

"You shouldn't settle for anything less than what you want. If you want to major in science, then do it. If you change your mind, that's alright, too," she replied. Her tone of voice was serious, like she had been speaking from experience. "Would you like to know a secret?"

"Sure."

"When Carlisle was first in college, he didn't want to be a doctor."

"Really?" I asked, stunned. I couldn't imagine Carlisle being anything but a doctor.

"Really. He wanted to major in political science."

"What made him change his mind?"

"He and a friend were in a car accident in the middle of nowhere during their sophomore year. The 911 operator talked him through everything until the ambulance showed up. He said that even though he was terrified, he knew then that he wanted to be a doctor."

"Wow. Was his friend okay?"

"Aside from a concussion and a severely broken leg, yes," she said, smiling proudly.

My meeting with the financial aid worker went better than I had expected. I wouldn't need to take out as much money for school as I had thought since I had the twins. However, I still had to come up with more money than I had left in my account for the four classes I wanted to take. Thankfully, I could do a payment plan, which took some of the pressure off. Since I wanted to start in the fall, I decided to sign the paperwork and register. As I signed my name, a sense of pride overcame me. I was now a mother and full time college student and was one step closer to making a better life for my little family.

**Carlisle POV**


	10. Chapter 10

Thank you to my wonderful pre-readers: piperann_25, Shadowed by Passion, KannnD and bookishqua.

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**EdwardPOV**

A few days had passed since we had brought the twins home. What was supposed to be a day of celebration had turned into an epic me – and it had all been because of my stupidity. I was stupid for letting this happen.

I regretted letting Tanya say the things she did, and I regretted not doing a thing to stop her. If I could relive that day, I would change it. I would tell Tanya to leave. I would tell Bella that those pictures that James gave her were not real - that they were photoshopped. But more importantly, I would tell Bella that everything that Tanya had said was a lie. I would tell Bella that I loved her and that I never stopped loving her. I would also her that I loved the twins more than I ever thought possible.

Since that horrible day, Bella had ignored me. That was the worst part of all of this – not being able to see or talk to her. I had called Bella several times to apologize and explain what really happened, but all I would get was her voicemail or Charlie – who told me to leave her alone for a while. I even drove over to her house. I sat in my car and watched her in the yard with the twins. She was beautiful with them. When she held them, her face glowed, and her eyes sparkled. I desperately wanted to join her, but the minute she noticed me, she took the twins in the house and slammed the front door behind her. I took it as a sign that she was not ready to talk to me and went home, where I spent the next hour punching the living hell out of Emmett's punching bag. I hated being away from her. Thankfully, she called me last night to ask if I could take the twins while she was at work. Of course I told her I would. She politely thanked me before hanging up.

On top of all of this regret, I still had Tanya to worry about. She was becoming clingy and annoying. Every time I had called Bella she would throw a major fit saying that Bella was more important to me than she was. She was right, of course. Something needed to change in our relationship and soon. I was getting tired of it - and of her interfering in my life.

"Where are you?" Tanya whined. "I woke up during the night and you weren't here."

"I told you last night, Tanya. I'm home today with the twins. Bella's working," I replied. I was getting rather annoyed with the endless phone calls lately. Since I left her last night, she had called me at least a dozen times for various reasons - most of them were unimportant. "And you knew I was leaving after you fell asleep."

"I hate it that you don't stay the night," she pouted. "Can't you leave the twins with your parents and come over? We miss you."

"No. They're my kids, Tanya, and I haven't seen them in a few days, thanks to you," I spat.

"Don't you dare blame me for that! It's not my fault she's keeping them away from you. Just goes to show you how much of a bitch she is."

"Don't talk about Bella like that," I commanded. "She's the mother of my kids."

"But you should be here helping me with _our _baby."

"What is it that you need help with at nine in the morning?" I asked as I rubbed my eyes.

"I just want you here with me."

"Bella will be here after work. I'll come over after that, okay?" I heard a tap at the front door and knew Bella was here. "Look, I have to go. I'll call you later." I didn't give her a chance to reply before snapping my phone shut.

I quickly went to the front door and saw my entire world standing there; diaper bags hung from Bella's shoulders, and both carriers were in her hands. The moment I saw her, my heart became lonely. I missed her - not just as a girlfriend, but as my friend.

"Good morning," I said with a smile as I opened the door.

"Hi," she replied softly.

"Here, let me take one of them." I took Masen's carrier from her hand and felt a spark when I touched her skin. I also grabbed one of the diaper bags and led her to the living room.

"They fell back asleep on the ride over, so you may have an hour or so of quiet before they're up again," Bella said. "There's a can of formula in one of the bags, so you should have enough for today. There are a few outfits in there too, just in case. I work until five or so, and I will be here after that."

"That's fine. I'm registering today, but other than that, I don't have anything planned, so don't rush back on my account."

"I'll be here after work," she said matter-of-factly. It was obvious she wasn't in the mood for talking. I desperately wanted to tell her how sorry I was for everything and beg for her forgiveness, but it was apparent that she wasn't ready yet.

"Oh, I turned my phone off, so if you need me, call the house."

"Okay."

"Bella," I said hesitantly. "Thanks...for bringing them over today. It means a lot."

"I may not like you right now, but I wouldn't keep them from you."

"Still...it means a lot. Thank you." She nodded and gave the twins one last look before leaving.

Since Maddy and Masen were still sleeping, I left them in their carriers and sat on the couch. I grabbed my folder for Forks Tech that was sitting on the coffee table and prepared for my meeting today. As much as I wanted to become a doctor like my father, I realized that wasn't within my grasp anymore. Sure, I could still do it, but I didn't want to be in school forever. Instead, I decided to enroll at Forks Tech in computer programming. It was an intense, two-year program with lots of hands-on experience. I couldn't wait to start.

A tiny whimper pulled me from my work. I looked down to see Maddy's mouth moving a bit as she slept. I wondered what she was dreaming about. She reminded me so much of Bella – her soft, creamy skin and large eyes. Maddy and Masen were such miracles. They had been so tiny when they were born, and I wasn't sure if they would make it. Now, a few short weeks later, they were both healthy and in my living room. Maddy's eyes fluttered open, and I quickly took her out of her carrier.

"Hi, sweet girl," I said before placing a soft kiss on her forehead. Her little grunts in reply were precious. However, a few minutes later, I realized why she was grunting. "Man, how can someone as small as you make a smell _that_bad? Jeez, you could give your Uncle Emmett a run for his money, Princess. I guess it's time for a diaper change, huh?"

That afternoon, I left the twins with Mom and registered at school. Once that was done, I went and purchased my supplies and returned home. When I pulled into the driveway, I saw that my father's car was home. I had thought he was working a full shift today. As I walked to my room, I overheard the two of them talking in the twins' nursery.

"I know he has to grow up and learn from his mistakes, Carlisle, but we really haven't helped him," Mom said.

"He'll never learn if we do everything for him."

"I'm not saying we have to do it for him, but we haven't given him enough emotional support. It feels like we did more with Emmett when he was busted with pot than we've done with Edward and the twins. He feels like he's a failure to us. Do you know how heartbreaking that is?" she asked. I could tell she was on the verge of crying. "I can't sit back and do nothing anymore."

"And what, exactly, are you planning to do?" Dad asked. There was anger in his voice, but I wasn't sure if it was directed to her or if it was really for me.

"I want to meet with Tanya and her parents. Hand me that clean onesie, will you?"

"Really? What do you think will come of that? She's not the brightest bulb on the tree, you know."

"Plenty. I won't allow her to disrespect Bella and my grandbabies in my home. We don't let the kids act that way, and I won't let her do it, either."

I walked away then, not wanting to hear anymore of their conversation. A week ago I would have called Tanya to warn her what was coming, but I didn't. Warning her would have been a courtesy – a courtesy she didn't return to me when I needed to be there for Bella, even at the most important times. Maybe this meeting with her parents would be a blessing in the long run. I continued down the hall, put my school stuff away, and then went back downstairs. I wanted to spend as much time with them as I could since I didn't know when I would see them again.

I wondered if my parents would ever be proud of me again. I had once been on the straight and narrow. Now, they were upstairs arguing about the choices I had made and their subsequent consequences – twins with one more on the way. I had turned my life into an epic fuck-up. This wasn't how I had planned my life to go.

My plan was to go to college, med school, and then focus on my residency. Maybe I would get married somewhere in between and then have kids later on. I had hoped – at one point – that Bella would be by my side during all of this. I definitely didn't see myself with kids in high school. Nor did I ever think Bella would no longer speak to me, or no longer considered me a friend.

_Well, I guess there's no use in pissin' and moanin' about it anymore, is there?_I thought.

I spent the rest of the day in the living room with the twins. It was amazing to see the things they could already do. Masen was learning to lift his head, and Maddy kept reaching out for the toys that hung over her. The noises and grunts they made caused my heart to swell with love. These two were the two most perfect little beings on Earth, and I couldn't get enough of them. By the time they fell back asleep, I was just as tired. I was pretty sure I had fallen asleep with Maddy on my chest, but when I awoke, she had been placed in her crib. I stood there and watched both as they slept and wondered if my parents had done the same with me when I was this small.

"Edward, they're here," Alice said as she snuggled Maddy against her chest, "Tanya's parents just pulled in the driveway. God, where's Bella? I thought she was supposed to pick them up?"

"Edward," Rosalie tilted her head to the left, "You just turned white as a ghost, and your hands are shaking. Drinking much or did you take something?"

"I haven't taken anything."

"Well, what the hell has gotten into you?"

"I'm nervous, okay? My life is falling apart."

"Yeah, I know," Rosalie replied. "Bella texted me that she took an extra shift. She won't be home for a while."

"Thank God, I don't want her here for this."

I kissed the twins gently before going downstairs. Tanya and her parents, Jennifer and Weston, were sitting in the dining room opposite my parents. I quickly took a seat next to my dad. I wasn't sure what was going to go down, but I knew it wasn't going to be something quick and easy. I was so nervous about this meeting. Mom had a look in her eye, so I knew she meant business.

"I appreciate the both of you taking the time for this visit," Mom began. "I figured it would be best if we got to know each other, and with the recent development in their relationship, I figured it was time to meet."

"What recent developments?" Weston asked. His voice was deep and firm, and his posture was authoritative.

_Oh, God. Tanya hasn't told her parents_, I thought. _How could she not tell them?_

"Hasn't Tanya told you?" Dad asked, shocked.

"Told us what?" Jennifer finally asked.

"She's pregnant," I replied quietly.

"You're _what_?" Weston asked, angrily. "How far along are you?"

"I...um...not that far long," Tanya replied hesitantly.

"And when were you planning on telling _us_?" Jennifer asked.

"Um... soon? I've just been so...stressed. Edward spends so much time with his babies and that bitch of an ex-girlfriend," Tanya spat.

"Do _not_speak of Bella like that in my home," Mom replied sternly.

"Wait, Edward already has kids?" Weston asked.

"Yes. Two of them," I answered. Weston's mouth fell open in shock.

"Good Lord, Tanya. What else are you keeping from us?" Jennifer asked.

"I do not appreciate the little comments your daughter has been making to and about Bella," Mom began. "Tanya, you may not like the fact that Bella's here, or that the twins are here, but they are family. I will not have you disrespecting them in my home. I do not let my children speak that way about anyone, and I certainly will not allow you to get away with it, either. Bella has done nothing to you to warrant this type of behavior, nor have my grandchildren."

"Your mother and I raised you better than this, Tanya Grace," Weston said. "Apologize. _Now_."

She let out a hard, annoyed sigh before saying, "I'm sorry." I knew she didn't mean it, and I wanted to scream at her for it. Here she was acting like she was a victim, when it was the other way around. She was nothing more than a bully picking on Bella and my children.

Mom continued, "Since Tanya has told us that she is pregnant, she hasn't mentioned any doctor visits, nor has my son. Now, I realize you're still early on, but you haven't produced a positive pregnancy test, either. This leads me to believe, Tanya, that you're not being completely honest."

"What? Of course I'm being honest!" Tanya shrieked. There was a fire in her eyes, and I could see that she was becoming angry. She had never acted like this before when talking about her pregnancy.

"You haven't been to a doctor?" Jennifer asked, shocked.

Tanya rolled her eyes and shrugged her shoulders before saying, "Nope."

"Tanya, getting prenatal care, even at an early stage in your pregnancy, is crucial," Dad said.

"I don't need to go. I know I'm pregnant, and that's all that matters."

"So then you'll have no problem taking a pregnancy test," Mom said with a small smirk on her face. She then pulled a plastic bag from under the table. Through the plastic, I could see the letters EPT, and knew exactly what she had.

"You can't be serious?" Tanya yelled. "I have never been so insulted in all my life!" I wasn't sure anyone had ever asked Tanya to do something like this.

"This isn't something I joke about. I want proof that you are, indeed, pregnant. And I want that proof now. If you really are expecting, then you won't have a problem taking this test into the bathroom down the hall, will you?" Mom asked again as she passed the bag to Tanya.

I was speechless. I hadn't realized my mom could be bad-ass.

"Are you insane? I will not do this! You didn't make Bella do this, did you?"

"No, because she had proof from her doctor," Dad said.

"Of course she did," Tanya replied sarcastically. "Little Miss Perfect Bella."

"Watch your tone," Weston replied. "Now, Mrs. Cullen's approach may be a bit harsh, but she has a point."

"Daddy! I'm not doing this! I won't!" Tanya hollered and shoved the bag away.

"_Ye_s, you will," Jennifer said as she stood and reached for the bag. "I agree with your father and Mrs. Cullen. Let's go, Tanya." Jennifer then took hold of Tanya's arm and pulled her to her feet. "Where is the bathroom?"

"I'll show you." Mom stood and walked toward the hallway with Jennifer behind her.

"Tanya Grace, let's _g_o!" Jennifer started to pull on Tanya's arm. "Do not make me say it again!"

"Edward! How could you let this happen to me? I'm having your baby and yet you sit there doing nothing!"

"Oh, I am doing something. I'm watching you prove to me that you're pregnant. You can do that, right, Tanya?"

A few moments later, I heard the bathroom door slam, followed by muted shouting. I quickly pulled my cell phone out and sent a quick text up to Alice, asking if Masen and Maddy were okay. She replied saying they were a bit fussy, but otherwise fine. I wanted to run upstairs to help calm them down, but I knew they were okay with Alice and Rose looking after them upstairs. While we waited for Mom, Tanya, and Jennifer to return, I quickly scrolled through the pictures of the twins on my cell phone. I was nervous and intimidated sitting here with Dad and Weston, so seeing their tiny, perfect faces seemed to calm me down a bit.

"New pictures of twins?" Dad asked as he leaned over to look at them.

"Yeah. They're getting so big."

"How old?" Weston asked.

"They're just shy of three months," I said. I felt Dad place his hand on my shoulder and gave it a firm, yet reassuring squeeze.

"Are you done in there?" Jennifer yelled down the hall. I couldn't hear Tanya's reply, but Jennifer appeared in the doorway a second later. "She wants you to come to the bathroom."

I stood and walked to the bathroom door before knocking. "Hey, I'm here." She opened the door then and hid her hands behind her back. "So?"

"I..."

"What does the test say?" I asked again. When she didn't reply, I reached behind her and pulled the test from her hands. I looked down and was confused by what I saw. I pushed my way into the bathroom and picked up the box.

"Edward, don't," Tanya said. She tried to reach for the test and the box, but I held it above her, out of reach.

"What the hell, Tanya? This says you're not pregnant."

"What? Let me see that," Jennifer said. "Why on Earth would you let him believe you were pregnant if you aren't?"

"It's wrong. I _a_m pregnant. I _am_," she insisted.

My voice cracked as I said, "I don't... I don't believe you."

"You have to! That stupid test is wrong. Why won't you look at me or hold me? I need you, Edward. I need you to believe me."

"I need a minute to think." I walked out of the bathroom, which started to feel small around me. _Not pregnant... not pregnant. What the hell?_ I felt a sense of relief come over me, if only for a moment before confusion hit me. _How could this be happening?_

"Edward, please," Tanya begged as she followed me into the living room where our parents were standing. "Please, believe me. It's wrong. I know my body, Edward."

"Stop! Just stop talking for a damn minute!" I shouted. "I want the truth. Were you pregnant?" Tanya didn't answer me right away. Instead, she looked at me, then her parents. "Were you?"

"Edward...please. I just -"

I held up my hand to stop Tanya from finishing her sentence. I just needed a minute of quiet to think. "_Were you ever pregnant_?" I asked again quietly. My voice was just above a whisper. _Why couldn't she just answer me? Was it that difficult of a question?_

"Answer him," Weston demanded behind me.

"No," she replied quietly. She wouldn't look at me.

"What?" Mom asked angrily.

"No. I wasn't pregnant."

"So then you lied?" I could feel the anger building. My cheeks were burning, and my hands kept clenching into fists.

"I didn't lie, I just wasn't -"

"_How could you do this?_" I shouted. "Do you even know what you've done?"

"Please, Edward. Don't do this," Tanya begged. She had tears in her eyes and for once, I didn't care. I was angry – no livid – with what she had done.

"You've ruined everything! You ruined my relationship with Bella! You've ruined my relationship with my family! God damn it, Tanya! _Wh_y? Why would you do something like this?"

"I just -"

"Fuck! What the hell were you going to do? Were you just going to show up one day with an infant in your arms and pass it off as mine? How the fuck were you going to manage that?" I fell into the chair and ran my fingers through my hair in frustration. I was pulling at it so hard, I thought for sure I would pull it out.

"Edward, I know you're angry, but please watch your language," Mom said. I heard Dad mutter something in response, but I couldn't make out the words.

"I keep thinking of all your lies. I'm remember every single one of them right now, Tanya. It's hard to think with my heart pounding like this...I don't know what I'm angrier at, you for lying, or me for standing back and letting you get away with it this long." _How would Bella ever forgive me when she found out_? This was a nightmare.

"Edward, you don't understand. I love you. You love me. What more do you need?" She fell to her knees in front of me and tried to take my hands in hers. I pulled away from her and stood. I didn't want her anywhere near me.

"Don't! Do not touch me! I've never said that I love you, and I certainly don't right now! You've ruined everything! How could you do this to Bella? She hasn't done a thing to you, yet you made senior year a living hell for her."

"What are you talking about?" Weston asked.

"She was spreading hateful rumors about her. It was bad enough that she had to face everyone being pregnant, but the things you said, Tanya! How could you?"

"What types of things?" Jennifer asked as I started pacing around the room.

"She tried to convince me that Masen and Maddy weren't mine. She convinced half of the student body that Bella was nothing more than a whore. Bella came so close to losing our kids a few times, and you couldn't leave me alone to deal with it without calling and texting me constantly. I could have lost all three of them."

"Now, to be fair Edward, Bella was carrying twins which factored into her complications. But, that plus the stress from the rumors and Tanya's actions didn't help, either," Dad said behind me.

Tanya jumped to her feet and shouted, "She deserved everything I said about her! She's the one that didn't want you around while she was pregnant!"

"Because she didn't want to deal with you, and you would never leave me the fuck alone! Yeah, the twins weren't planned, but what you did was _wors_e! I lied to her because of you! I lied to my family because of you!" I shouted.

"She's nothing special! She's low-class, and you deserve better. You said it yourself – I was better."

"_Never_! I've never said that!"

"Maybe not with so many words, but you definitely enjoyed what I did."

I'd had enough this crap. "I'm done, Tanya. I cannot do this anymore."

"What?" I watched as her face turned from anger, to shock. She definitely wasn't expecting this.

"I want you to leave. _Now_."

"Edward..." She started moving toward me, a blank look on her face. "You don't mean that."

"I do. I don't want anything to do with you. I do not love you. I never did. I never said I did. I can't even stand to look at you."]. Stay away from Bella and my kids." Tanya reached out and touched my arm. "_Don't touch me_!" The minute she touched me I felt sick.

"Tanya, those pictures that were given to Bella, were they real?" Mom asked.

"Of course they weren't real!" she blurted out. "I was afraid you were going back to her, so I photoshopped them. I needed something to ensure you stayed with me! I can't lose you!"

"You bitch! Do you know what that did to her? _Jesu_s. I can't look at you anymore. Get out!"

Weston and Jennifer quickly walked over to us. "Tanya, let's go. I think you've done enough tonight," Weston said.

"No! Edward, please, don't make me go! I'm not lying. I _a_m pregnant."

"Get out!" I hollered again.

"Please, Edward!" Tanya cried. Weston wrapped his arms around her and lifted her from the floor. Tanya began struggling against him, kicking her legs and screaming.

"Shut your mouth, young lady," Jennifer said as she walked behind them.

"_I'm not lying, Edward! I love you! You love me! I know you do! Let me go, Dad! I need to make him understand!"_

As Dad walked Tanya and her parents to the door, Mom walked over to me and put her arms around me.

"Edward, son, you're shaking. Calm down. It's all over," Mom said soothingly. "It's all over. You won't have to deal with that bitch again."

I almost smiled at Mom's statement. "No. I need to get to Bella. I have to tell her what happened." I wasn't sure if Tanya would do anything, and needed to warn her. I couldn't let anything happen to her.

"Tell me _wha_t happened?" I heard her ask from the hall.


	11. Chapter 11

Thank you to my wonderful pre-readers and beta's: Shadowed by Passion, piperann_25, KannnD, and BookishQua. I would be nothing without these ladies. :)

If any of you are on tumblr, come and add me: www (dot)sweetishbubble(dot)tumblr(dot)com

There Goes My Life, Chapter 11.

**A/N: Hello, readers! First off, I'm so glad you guys liked chapter 10. It wasn't an easy one to write, but I hope it answered some questions about Tanya and Edward. Second, I wanted to reassure some of you about Edward. Remember, he's only 18. Tanya was the only person who made Edward feel like he was wanted; she wormed her way into his life by offering a sympathetic ear while he was having a breakdown. Remember, he told his parents he thought he was a disappointment, and Bella sure wasn't giving him the time of day, so he went to the one person who gave him what he needed -emotional support, even though now we realize that it was one big lie. And now that the lie was exposed, it's going to be up to Edward to prove, not just to Bella, but to his family that he is a good person. Of course, none of this excuses his behavior – not at all. Life isn't perfect, and one if not both of them, are going to make mistakes. It's how they handle those mistakes that will determine how things go for them. So stick with me, k? I do believe in HEA's.**

* * *

**Bella POV**

_What a day_, I sighed as I slid into my car. I had spent ten hours at Newton's doing nothing but restocking shelves, then I picked up four hours at the diner. The arches in my feet felt like I was walking on needles, and the knots in my shoulders and neck hurt every time I moved. On top of that, I was dead exhausted. Caring for my babies meant that on a good night I slept only five hours. All I wanted to do when I got home was to stand under a hot shower and relax. If I didn't need the money, I would have said no to the diner. Plus, I wanted to have a little extra in my bank account when school started. Money was becoming pretty tight, and I wasn't going to ask my parents unless I was absolutely desperate.

The more I thought about my dwindling bank account, the more stressed I felt. Raising Maddy and Masen wasn't cheap. Diapers, wipes, formula, and clothes were expensive. One can of formula was thirty dollars, and the twins used approximately sixteen cans a month. Thankfully, I've been using a generic version which was half the cost and still provided the nutrients they needed. As far as diapers, they used roughly twenty a day. I tried to save a few dollars here and there by going to second-hand stores to get their clothes, and would buy their diapers, wipes and formula in bulk when I could. Between their needs, gas for my car, and the few things I've had to purchase for school, I was going broke. Another alternative was to actually use the account Carlisle and Esme had created. I hadn't used it all that much because it didn't seem right. It felt like I was using their money and it made me feel like I was almost stealing it.

Before I drove away from the diner, I rubbed my temples to help relieve the stress headache I had from thinking about money. I glanced at the clock on my phone and realized how late it was getting. The twins had been with the Cullen's all day, and I was desperate to see them.

As I pulled up to the Cullen's house, I noticed a vehicle parked in the driveway that I didn't recognize. A moment later, the front door flew open, and a woman with blond hair walked out who looked none too happy. Behind her came a man carrying a screaming girl with his arms around her waist. She was kicking her legs, flailing her arms, and shrieking at the top of her lungs.

"_You!_" she screamed at me when she saw me. I realized then that it was Tanya. "You fucking bitch! You ruined everything!"

I stood and watched as the man, who I then assumed to be her father, shoved her in the backseat of their car before slamming the door. I could still make out her muffled screams.  
She better not have done anything to my kids! I thought. I quickly parked and jumped out of my car, wanting to make sure Mad and Mas were okay. My pulse raced at the thought of her harming my children.

"Pipe down!" her father yelled as he got into the car.

"You must be Bella," the woman said to me. "I'm Jennifer, Tanya's mother. I just wanted to say how sorry I am for my daughter's actions. I had no idea she had done that to you. It was uncalled for."

"She didn't hurt my kids, did she?" I asked.

"No. She was too busy trying to explain away her lies. Again, I'm terribly sorry for what she did," she said sincerely.

"Um...thanks," I said, shocked. I stood there for a moment and watched as Jennifer got into the car. I noticed Carlisle standing on the porch and walked over to him. "Do I want to know what happened?"

"I'll explain inside," he said softly.

"Are Maddy and Masen okay?" I asked, worried.

"They're upstairs with Alice and Rose. Last I heard Masen was already asleep."

When I walked into the house, I could feel the tension still lingering. It was suffocating. Something major had happened here tonight. On the floor in the hallway was what appeared to be a home pregnancy test, and a chair was overturned in the dining room.

"No. I need to get to Bella. I have to tell her what happened," I heard Edward say as I stepped into the living room. His voice trembled, and I worried just how bad things had gotten with Tanya. Esme had her arms wrapped around him. He was pale and shaking.

"Tell me _what_ happened?" I asked.

"Bella..." Edward groaned. He let go of Esme, and before any of us could say or do anything, he collapsed to his knees and buried his face in his hands.

"Edward!" Esme shrieked. Carlisle and I rushed over to Edward, who looked just awful. He was sobbing, wailing, and muttering something I couldn't understand. I felt bad for him. Even though I still hurt from the lies and his behavior toward me, he was in pain and the father of my children.

"Edward, please calm down," I said softly as I took his hands in mine. "You're scaring all of us." I started rubbing my thumb over his knuckles hoping it would help him.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I'm so, _so_sorry," he cried.

"Shh, everything will be alright," Esme said.

No matter what we tried, Edward didn't seem to calm down. We did, however, convince him to sit on the couch, where Esme handed him a paper bag to breathe into since he was starting to hyperventilate.

"I'm so sorry," he cried again. "I never should have listened to her."

"You have to start to calm down, okay?" I asked again gently. I had hoped that the steadiness in my voice would help him, even though I was mess on the inside. What the heck could have happened to get him this worked up?

"Edward, son, please calm down," Carlisle said. He was standing behind him and placed a hand on his shoulder. "What's done is done, and we can fix the rest."

"You don't know that," Edward mumbled.

"Yes we do," Esme said. She was sitting on the other side of him and had wrapped an arm around his shoulders."I know because your father and I love you very much. We always have, even if we haven't showed it. But we do love you."

"But I'm a disappointment," he whispered. He had started to curl into himself. The bag he once clutched in his hands was now on the floor. One elbow was now perched on his knee and one fist was pulling at his hair while his other hand was still clutched around mine.

"No! No, Edward. You're not a disappointment," Carlisle said.

"I've made so many bad decisions. How can you just dismiss them?" he asked. He sounded so small, so vulnerable and ashamed.

"Because you're our son and we love you," Esme said soothingly. "Yes, you have made some bad choices, but you still have time to set things right. It may not happen overnight, but it will happen."

I kept my face composed even though I didn't agree with Esme. It was too late for Edward to make things right between the both of us. Too many things had happened, and my heart could only be shattered by him so many times before the pieces no longer fit back together.

After more convincing from all of us, Edward finally started to settle. He wouldn't, however, let go of my hand. It was almost as if he were to let go, the world would end or something. I didn't get it, but I knew now wasn't the time to ask him about it. He just looked so...defeated - a feeling I knew quite well. As much as I wanted to say, "Now you know how I felt," I just couldn't do it. I didn't want to add to his misery - that would have been cruel.

"Better?" I asked.

"A bit," he said with a shaky voice as he wiped his red, tear-filled eyes.

"I saw Tanya outside. Is she gone for good?" I asked cautiously. I didn't want to say something to upset him further, but I had to know.

"Yeah, she's gone," he replied flatly. I couldn't tell by the tone of his voice if he was happy or sad about it.

Upstairs, I heard Maddy start to cry. I quickly glanced at the clock on the mantel and realized it was about the time her colic set in. Two hours of non-stop crying. She didn't need to be changed or fed during that time; she just cried because she had to. "I need to get Maddy," I said.

"I can get her," Esme said.

"Let me. I haven't seen either one of them all day, and when she gets like this she usually wants only me."

"Colic?" Carlisle asked.

"Yeah. Masen isn't too bad, but you could set your watch to Maddy." As I stood, Edward gripped my hand tighter while his eyes begged me to stay. "I'll be right back down."

I quickly went upstairs to get Maddy and to check on Masen. Upon walking into Alice's room, I noticed Rosalie was there as well and was asleep on the bed with Masen tucked into her arm. I gently lifted him from her and placed him in his car seat.

"Alice, what the heck is going on?" I asked quietly before taking Maddy into my arms. By the way she was crying I knew it was going to be a very long night. I had hoped to be home before one since I had another full day ahead of me. The twins had a doctor's appointment and I wanted to make dinner for Dad and Rebecca. At least I had the coming weekend off. Maybe I could ask Dad to watch them for a bit so I could catch up on some sleep.

"It was epic. I didn't hear all of it though. All I heard was Tanya begging Edward not to leave her."

"I saw a pregnancy test on the floor, so I'm guessing it was negative."

"Yeah. She faked it and lied about a lot of things. Stupid whore," she muttered.

"Well, what Edward does on his own time isn't my business. Were the kids okay tonight?" I asked as I placed Maddy against my chest and started to pat her back.

"They were little angels," she said with a smile.

"Thanks for watching them," I said before heading back downstairs.

By the time I reached the living room, Maddy was crying loudly. I was used to it, but I wasn't sure how Edward would take it. I hoped that the car ride home would help calm her down, but I doubted it.

"Why is she crying like that?" Edward asked.

"She has colic and cries for like two hours a night before she's quiet again," I said before I yawned.

"_Every_night? How do you manage that?"

"Sometimes I put her in the car and drive around, but most nights I just hold her until she stops. Do you know where their bags are? I didn't see them in Alice's room."

"You're not honestly thinking about driving home, are you?" Edward asked.

"Yes. Why wouldn't I?"

"Bella, dear, why don't you stay here tonight?" Esme asked.

"Oh, I couldn't impose. Maddy will be up for a few more hours, and then Masen will need another feeding. I wouldn't want to disturb the house."

"You wouldn't be. I can get Masen when he wakes up later so you can get some sleep," Esme said.

"Speaking of sleep, Bella, how many hours are you getting a night?" Carlisle asked.

"A few," I said. I could barely keep my eyes open.

"How many is a few?" he asked again with a concerned tone in his voice.

"Four...five on a good night. Sometimes, though, when Dad gets home from a night shift, he'll take Masen's feeding for me."

Esme stood from her spot next to Edward and walked over to me. "That's not healthy, my dear. You need to sleep before you make yourself sick. Now, give Maddy to me and go on up to the guest room. I'll get up with Masen if he wakes."

"Esme, I -"

"I'm not taking 'no' for an answer. Is there a certain time you need to be up tomorrow? Do you work in the morning?" she asked as she took Maddy from me.

"No, but Mad and Mas have a doctor appointment at nine. Are you sure about this?"

"Absolutely. Now go upstairs and get some sleep. I'll wake you in the morning."

A full night's sleep felt wonderful. I barely remembered walking up to the guest room or texting Dad. Thankfully, he understood that I was too tired to drive and wasn't upset. After making the bed, I went downstairs and found Edward, Maddy and Masen in the living room.

"Good morning," Edward said as he fed Masen. I was a little taken aback by Edward's appearance. He hadn't shaved and his eyes were still red. I wondered if he had gotten any sleep. "Did you sleep okay?"

"Yes, thank you. Do you happen to know where their bags are?"

"They're packed and waiting by the door. I was hoping I could come with you to their appointment."

"Um...sure." I was a little surprised that he wanted to come along, but I wasn't going to deny him.

Once Masen was done eating, and both of them were strapped into their car seats, we headed outside. It was a beautiful, sunny day. I hoped it stayed this way all day so I could spend it outdoors with the twins.

"Crap," Edward said quietly as he pulled his fingers through his hair.

"What?"

"Uh, I don't have a base in my car for their seats to lock into."

"Oh. Well, why don't you just follow me to the clinic?" I wasn't completely comfortable with the idea of being alone with him just yet. He nodded with a disappointed look on his face and got into his car. When we arrived, I checked them in. Before I had the insurance card put back in my wallet, Edward had his credit card out and was paying the co-pay.

"I can pay, you know," I said, slightly annoyed.

"I know, but so can I," he replied.

A few minutes later we were in a room with the pediatrician, Dr. Brooks. I loved how gentle she was with the twins and how she took the time to answer all of my questions. While I stood next to the table as she looked Masen over, Edward was sitting in the chair with Maddy.

"Well, little man, I think you're good to go. Should we take a look at your sister?" she asked. "How's her wheezing and colic?"

"I don't really notice her wheezing all that much. Her colic is still in full force, though," I replied as Edward brought Maddy over.

"Wheezing?" Edward asked.

"Sometimes preemies who had breathing problems wheeze a bit. Obviously with fall and winter coming, it's something we'll have to keep an eye on, but if you're not noticing it, then she could be growing out of it."

Once she was finished with Maddy, she told us that we could start incorporating rice cereal with their formula. I was thrilled because they would be fuller longer. After she was done, a nurse came in holding a tray with syringes. I cringed at the sight.

"Are you okay, Bella?" Dr. Brooks asked.

"I hate needles."

"A silly as it sounds, I hate them, too. Okay, I'm going to need one of you to help hold them down."

Before I could say anything, Edward offered to do it. "You hate needles, Bella. How are you going to be able to hold them down?"

"Don't tease me," I said as I wiped my eyes.

"I'm not."

I noticed that while Edward positioned Maddy on the table, he was whispering something to her. The moment the needle was inserted and she started wailing, my own eyes filled with tears. Her little pained cry caused my heart to hurt, and I knew it wouldn't end soon - Masen had to endure this, too.

"Oh, sweet girl, I'm sorry," I cried as I tried to calm her down. Moments later Masen's cries filled the room, and I found myself crying harder. I didn't even notice that Dr. Brooks had left the room.

"Don't cry, Bella," Edward said softly as he placed a hand to my cheek and wiped away my tears. "It kills me to see you cry."

"Sorry. I just hate seeing them like this."

"Me too."

Once the twins were calmed down, we got them dressed and headed out. I was glad the appointment had gone well, and I was surprisingly thankful that Edward was there. I knew I wouldn't have been able to hold them down. I wasn't sure how he did it and kept his composure.

"Better?" he asked.

"Yeah. Thanks for helping. I don't think I could have done that," I admitted quietly. Edward didn't reply, but nodded once and helped me get the twins re-dressed.

"At least you didn't faint like you usually do," he joked.

"Ha ha," I said dryly.

"Hey, I was, uh, wondering if you wanted to grab some coffee?" Edward hesitantly asked as we walked out of the doctor's office.

"Sure. I have the stroller in the trunk. Do you want to walk?"

"Sounds great," he said with a small smile. It was the first time he looked genuinely happy in a long time.

"Did Masen get up during the night?" I asked as we walked to our usual coffee shop.

"Just once, but I was able to get him back down without too much of a fuss."

"Wait, _you_got up with him?" I asked completely shocked.

"Yeah. I'll admit, Mom did come in at one point to check on us, but I pretty much did it myself."

"Wow."

"I know and I'm sorry."

"What exactly are you sorry about?" I asked. I was curious to hear his answer.

"Everything," he said as he gestured towards the twins.

"Define everything." My heart was starting to race as I thought about what he would say.

Edward stopped walking and let out a hard sigh before saying, "For lying. For listening to Tanya when I should have listened to you."

I wondered if he heard my heart stop. I had waited so long for this apology that I didn't think it was actually happening. It didn't seem real. I never imagined him apologizing on a sidewalk as he pushed a stroller. But then again, I never thought he would apologize, either. I figured he'd say it just to say it and have him think everything was fine. But there was something about his voice that made me think he actually meant it. I wasn't sure what to make of it.

"What's with the honesty all of the sudden?" I asked as we sat down in the coffee shop. I had a small tea while Edward had his usual venti dark roast.

"I'm not completely sure. I think sometime last night I had an epiphany or something. I remember at one point I could see every mistake I had made during this past year."

"We've all made mistakes, Edward." I could think of several of my own mistakes, but the two that stood out the most were screaming at Tanya in public and making a scene at the Cullen home the day we brought the twins home.

"True. But, can you say that the mistakes you've made have ruined someone else's life? Because I know that's what I did to you...on more than one occasion."

"You didn't ruin my life, Edward." I reached out and touched Maddy's tiny hand. "I know I could have done things differently, too."

"Bella, the mistakes you've made are trivial compared to mine," he said firmly before taking a sip of his coffee. "Shit, my actions could have taken you, Masen and Maddy away from me forever. Do you even know how close you came to dying, Bella?"

"Dad's told me a little bit, yes."

"And the twins...they were born so early..." Edward shook his head a few times and I noticed then that his eyes were glassy.

_Was he emotional at the thought of just losing the twins, or was he emotional at the thought of losing all three of us?_I wondered.

"I feel so guilty, Bella. For all of it. I should have done more during your pregnancy; I should have been there for you."

Quietly, I said, "I had Dad there to support me."

"I know. I'm forever grateful for him. But, he knew so much about your pregnancy; he was the one who answered the doctor's questions when it should have been me answering them."

"You're right, you should have. But it's in the past, Edward."

"So you've forgiven me?" he asked hopefully.

I didn't answer him right away. My heart and head were telling me two different things. Could I open myself up to him like that again? Did I want to set myself up to be hurt again?

Regretfully, I said, "No. I can't yet. There have been too many times..."

"I understand," he replied quietly.

"But I would never keep you from the twins, Edward. I couldn't do that." Edward shook his head and looked out the window. I knew Edward wanted me to tell him that I forgave him, but I couldn't. We still hadn't talked about everything that had happened, and it was obvious that he wasn't ready yet, and I wasn't going to push him on the subject.

Masen started crying again, and when I picked him up, I felt that he had wet through his diaper and clothes. Maddy started whimpering as well, and I knew she was hungry.

"I have to change him. Can you feed her until I get back?" I asked.

"Yeah, sure."

"There should be a bottle already made in her bag. I'll be right back."

I quickly made my way to the restroom and got to work on changing Masen. He was still grumpy from getting his shots, so I tried to cuddle him as much as I could as I changed him. Once we were done, I washed my hands and went back out to rejoin Edward and Maddy. When I saw him, he had Maddy tucked into on arm with a bottle. What he held in his other hand stunned me.

"What are you doing?" I asked as I sat down.

"Sorry, I didn't go looking for this, it just fell out when I grabbed her bottle." In his hand was a letter I had received from Renee two weeks ago.

"Oh."

"Do you mind if I read it? I just found it."

"It's fine." I watched as Edward's eyes scanned the letter. I had memorized every word of it.

_Bella,_

_I know I said I would support you now that the twins are here, but I've changed my mind. I know I haven't been there for you, but I would have hoped you could have learned from my mistakes. Yes, I was young when I had you, but at least I was married and my husband had a job. You, on he other hand, are unwed and have two children and an ex-boyfriend who lives off his trust fund and does absolutely nothing all day. Talk about embarrassing. _

_I wanted better for you, yet you've done worse. You could have gone with adoption and still chased your dreams, yet chose to keep them and settle for something less. I hope now you realize I was right. _

_I've enclosed a check for your birthday. Please know it's the last one you'll get from me. Masen and Madison are not my responsibility and I refuse to support the decision __you_ _made any longer. I'd tell you to use the money on something nice for yourself, but it will fall on deaf ears._

_Despite my disappointment, I do love you and want only the best for you. I hope one day you'll find it._

_Renee._

_PS - Phil was signed by the Yankees! Look out Manhattan! Cannot wait to go shopping! : )_

In the short amount of time it took him to read the letter, my cheeks were wet from my endless tears. I hated the fact that I had never been good enough for my own mother. I hated that she chose to leave Dad and me for her lover shortly after I was born. I hated _her_.

"Is she serious?" Edward asked. The was anger behind his voice as he placed Maddy against his shoulder to burp her.

I nodded. "Yeah. Wanna guess how much she sent?"

"Give her past history, I'm guessing it's not much."

'It wasn't." I placed Masen back in his seat and wiped my eyes.

"How much, Bella?" he asked again.

"Fifteen," I choked out before a sob overtook me. I was hurt and embarrassed by the amount. It was a slap in the face to me. Did she honestly think fifteen dollars would buy much or did she send so little on purpose?

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Edward put Maddy down and moved the stroller. I then felt his arms around me. I welcomed his comfort, as he was the only one who could make me feel better where Renee was concerned.

"I'm sorry she did this to you, Bella. It was uncalled for." I nodded against him. "Have you told Charlie?"

"No."

"Here I thought I was a disappointment. But you...you have the world's worst mother to deal with on top of everything. I don't know how you're able to handle it. But then again, you've always been a strong person."

"I'm not that strong," I mumbled against him. His arms tightened around me.

"Yes you are. It's something I admire about you. But Bella, please don't hate me for what I'm about to say. I don't want her around the you or the twins. She's hurt you so much in the past, and I don't want her to do the same to you, Mad, and Mas."

"I don't hate you for saying that. In fact, I actually agree. It's an awful thing to say, though."

"No, it's not. Renee's history speaks for itself. And I think you should show Charlie the letter, too. He needs to know."

"That's not the worst of it, though," I said.

"Tell me," he said as he pulled back to look into my eyes. He had concern for me in his eyes.

"The check...it was returned...and my account got messed up..." I sobbed.

"Is that why you've been doing more shifts at the diner?" he asked.

"Yes. I have to do something so they don't close my account." I fell into the chair, feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders.

"You could have used the twins' account," he said.

"No, I can't. That's the account your parents set up. I would be using their money for myself, and that feels like stealing. I can't do that."

"Have you used it for anything?" I didn't answer him. "Bella, are you trying to pay for everything out of your checks?"

"Of course I have."

"Bells, that account is for you to use," he groaned in frustration.

"Yeah, for the twins, not me. I don't want to use it unless I have to."

"Why must you be so stubborn?"

"Because _you_haven't contributed to it. You have yet to pay any child support! How else am I supposed to get what they need?"

Edward's face went from annoyed to bright red with anger. Before he spoke, he took a few deep breaths. "I'll go to the bank today and put money in; enough to cover their expenses for a while. I should have done it sooner. I'm sorry," he replied earnestly. "How much do you need to get your account cleared?"

"You don't have-"

"How much?" he asked again, interrupting me. "I want to help you. _Please_, let me do this for you."

"One fifty, I think."

Edward reached across the table and took my hands in his before saying, "It'll get taken care of today, I promise."

"Edward, why did it have to take a letter from my pathetic excuse of a mother to get you to see just how much I'm struggling? Why couldn't you have realized that on your own?" I asked, my voice shaky. My vision was blurred by a new wave of tears.

"I wish I had a good excuse, but I don't. But I swear to you, Bella, I will work to earn your trust back, and to be a good parent to our children. You should know, though, that you will be a better mother then Renee was. You already are. I can see that you doubt yourself. Don't. If I could be one-tenth the parent you are, I still wouldn't be as good as you."

As I wiped my eyes for what felt like the hundredth time today, I noticed a few people staring at us. I knew we had probably made a scene, but I hoped they hadn't heard our entire conversation.

"We should get going," I said after a few minutes of sitting in silence.

"I'm glad we got to talk today," Edward said after the twins were in the car. "I've missed that."

"Me, too," I whispered. I barely made it out of the parking lot before the tears came again.

Later that afternoon, Maddy and Masen were upstairs asleep in their crib while I was in the kitchen starting dinner for Charlie and Rebecca. I wasn't making anything fancy - just roast beef, and since the twins were asleep, I was using the quiet time to chop veggies and prepare the meat.

No matter how much I thought about what happened in the last twenty-four hours, I couldn't wrap my mind around it. Tanya and her lies; Edward and his vulnerability and honesty. I just didn't know what to think anymore. I wanted to hurt Tanya for what she had done to me and Edward. How could she fake a pregnancy? How could she betray Edward that badly? And how could her parents not know what she was doing?

I hated telling Edward that I didn't forgive him. He had looked at me as though I was the one thing that kept him from losing his sanity. It pained me to see him that way. I wanted to wrap my arms around him and tell him everything would be okay - that we would be okay - but truthfully, I wasn't sure. The last time I let my guard down around him I was hurt by him. It wasn't like a flesh wound that could mend with a band aid. This was more like a potentially fatal wound; one that was touch and go. And while it seemed to be healing at one point, the infection I had been fighting reared its ugly head again.

"Hey Bells," Dad said from the living room. "How'd the appointment go?"

"Fine. I cried, though, when the doctor gave them their shots."

"Yeah, those are never fun," he said as he sat at the table. "So what happened last night?"

"I was too exhausted to drive so Esme insisted I stay in the guest room." I purposely didn't tell him about Edward because I knew he'd want answers - answers I didn't have yet.

"Well you have been working quite a bit. Think you can keep that up and go to school?"

"I hope so. Why do you ask?"

"I'm worried about you. You'll be taking a full course load, working full time at Newton's and picking up shifts at the diner. I'm worried that you're not taking care of yourself."

"I'm fine," I lied. I grabbed a can of Vitamin R for him from the fridge and brought it to him.

"I don't believe you. Look, I'm real proud of you for stepping up to the plate and realizing your responsibilities, but you have to learn to ask for help. You look so tired all of the time."

"I know, but they're my kids. I don't want to burden you."

He placed the beer on the table and took my hands in his. "You're _not_a burden to me, or Rebecca. I didn't have help when you were a baby. When Renee ran off, it was just the two of us. I had friends, sure, but none of them had kids. Don't think you have to do this on your own." One of the things I loved about Dad was that even though he was scolding me, he did it lovingly. I hoped I could do that with the kids were older.

"I just feel like since they're mine, I should be doing it all."

"They're not _just_yours, Bella. Edward needs to step up in his role, too."

"I know. Um, I need to tell you something. I got a letter from Renee a few weeks ago with a check for my birthday, even though it's not for a few weeks."

"Well at least it came early rather than late."

"Yeah, but the check was rejected. I've been working with the bank and using my tips to cover it as much as I could -"

"Wait," Dad practically yelled. "She sent you a check that was no good? Did you call her about it?"

"She...she doesn't want to speak to me. She said I was a disappointment."

Dad stood and took me in his arms. "Never, honey. You're _not_a disappointment. You know how she is, but that's not an excuse. Do you need money to fix your account?"

"No. Edward said he'd take care of it for me. He also suggested we keep Mad and Mas away from Renee."

"Well, I'd have to say I would agree with him on that. Shocking, isn't it?" I gigged against his chest. I couldn't remember the last time I laughed, but it felt good, like a little bit of the weight had been lifted. "Why don't you go in the living room? I can take care of dinner."

"Okay. Thanks, Dad."

I went into the living room and turned on my laptop to check my account. I just about died from shock. Not only had he put money in the twins' account, but he was true to his word and made deposit in mine, as well. I hoped this was a turning point for us because more than anything, I missed my friend, Edward. I wasn't ready to jump back into a relationship - with him or anyone - but maybe with a little time, we could start repairing our friendship.

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**A/N #2 - Okay, so Edward didn't tell Bella what happened with Tanya. Too much happened in this chapter, but they will talk about it, I promise.**


	12. Chapter 12

Thank you to my wonderful pre-readers and beta's: Shadowed by Passion, piperann_25, KannnD, and BookishQua. I would be nothing without these ladies. :)

**A/N: Hello, readers! Just a quick note – some of you may find this a bit difficult to read – some truths do come out, in a very strange way. Also, underage drinking is illegal and bad, so don't do it, k? **

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There Goes My Life - Chapter 12

Edward POV

_Previously:_

"_We should get going," Bella said after a few minutes of sitting in silence._

"_I'm glad we got to talk today," I said after the twins were in the car. "I've missed that."_

"_Me, too," she whispered. _

I stood in the parking lot and watched as the three most important people in my life drove off. I didn't want them to leave though. Bella and I finally had a somewhat good day, and I didn't want it to end. She was my best friend - and in all honesty, the keeper of my heart - and I had missed her terribly when we had broken up. I was determined, now more then ever, to do right by all three of them. I could no longer let Bella believe she had to do this all on her own.

When I had found and read the letter from Renee, I was instantly saddened for Bella, yet royally pissed off at the same time. Renee had done shady things before, but this had to take the cake. How could she write such hateful, hurtful things to her daughter? Was her soul really that tormented? I was happy that Phil was signed by the Yankees - he really was a good player - but to send Bella a check for a small amount only to have it bounce was detestable. I wondered if Phil knew she had done that. I seriously doubted it because the few times I had met him he seemed like he generally cared for Bella. I just didn't get it.

When Bella started crying, and had admitted to using her own money to purchase everything for the twins, I instantly felt horrible. I should have been giving her money from day one. I was serious when I told her I would deposit funds into her account. I had hoped Bella would see it as a step in the right direction. She and the twins were worth it - and so much more.

Once her car was out of sight, I drove over to the bank where I made a sizable withdrawal from my account and split it between the two accounts for Bella and the twins. Once I was assured that Bella's account was cleared up, I left to run a few more errands. I needed to pick up two car seat bases for the twins, and I wanted to pick up a paper to look for a job. I stopped one other place - a surprise for someone later - before I headed home. When I arrived, I found Alice standing on the porch waiting for me.

"So, are you going to tell me what happened last night?" Alice asked after I got out of the car.

"I'm sure you heard most of it. The bottom line is that Tanya lied about being pregnant to keep me and Bella apart."

"The small part I heard was upsetting. I want to know the truth, Edward."

"Truth about what?" I asked.

"Tanya," she replied, angrily.

"It's none of your business," I said brushing past her and walking into the house.

"Yes, it is!" she yelled as she followed me. "Bella is my friend! I've had to comfort her more times than I can count. I want to know what exactly you did and why you did it!"

"Look, Alice, all I can say is that I'm incredibly sorry for putting you in an uncomfortable situation. It wasn't fair to you," I said as I looked into her eyes. I knew her forgiveness wouldn't be easily given, but I hoped she'd forgive me when she was ready.

"What's with all the yelling?" Esme asked as she appeared from Carlisle's study. "It's too early in the day for that. Now tell me what is going on." I could tell by the tone of her voice that she was irritated with us.

"I was just asking Edward for an explanation of his actions, that's all," Alice replied softly.

"I know you want it, but I think it's something for he and Bella to discuss first before telling the rest of the family, okay?"

"I'm pretty sure she's going to tell me anyway," Alice said, a bit annoyed.

Mom placed an arm around Alice's shoulders before saying, "She may, but if she doesn't, you need to respect that, okay?" Alice nodded in response, but she shot me a fulminating look which told me this conversation was far from over.

As much as I wanted to just hash it out and be done with it, the few hours of sleep from last night, coupled with the emotionally charged day with Bella started to hit me. I was exhausted. "Edward, sweetheart, you're swaying on your feet. You must be tired after staying up last night with the babies. Why don't you go upstairs for a little bit?"

"Can you wake me up in a few hours? I want to get some work done later," I said rubbing my eyes.

"Of course." She kissed me on the cheek and walked with me to my room.

"Mom, how did you do it with five of us? I feel like I can barely keep up with two."

"You were our only infant, Edward. The others joined our family at different ages. Things didn't get too crazy until Emmett, Jasper and Rosalie came, but you learn as you go. It wasn't always easy, and there were days when I wished I had taken your father up on his offer of a nanny, but you get through it."

"I was holding Masen last night, or maybe it was this morning, but I was too afraid to move. I thought I'd drop him. Then I felt guilty because I wasn't paying attention to Maddy. To be perfectly honest, I'm still a bit scared around them," I said hesitantly. I didn't want her to think badly of me for admitting this.

"There's nothing to be afraid of, dear. But I can understand, because I was terrified the first few weeks with you."

"Why?"

"You, like your adorable daughter, had colic." She softly chucked at the memory. "My family was back home in Ohio, and Carlisle's family was in London. I didn't have anyone close by to call and ask what was wrong, so I thought I was doing something wrong. I have faith, though, that you'll figure it out. Now, go get some sleep."

"Love ya, Ma," I said before kissing her cheek.

"I love you, too, sweetheart."

Mom gently shook me awake a few hours later. I felt refreshed and focused on finding a job. I scanned through the want ads in the local paper. I was thankful Forks was a thriving college town. The only downside was that school was stating up again, which meant a lot of the positions that were currently open would be filled quickly. I needed to get my resume out as soon as possible. However, the longer I looked, the more jobs I found that I was either too young to apply for or under qualified to do.

_Shit. This was going to be harder than I thought._

"Ed! Come on, we're going out," Emmett said from the doorway. "You've been in here over two hours! You're gonna go blind looking at that thing any longer...unless you're looking at porn. And if that's the case, you need to share that shit."

"I'm _not_ looking at porn! This family only has room for one perv, and I do believe you took that role long ago," I said with a snort.

"Well someone had to."

"What are you up to?" Jasper asked. He was holding a backpack in his hands.

"I've been filling out job applications online."

"Oh yeah? Anything good?" Jasper asked again.

"A few places, yeah." I hit the 'submit' button on another local position and held up the paper showing him places I had called on.

"Awesome. I heard the new grocery store is finally opening and hiring," Emmett said.

"Yeah, I applied there, too."

"Sweet. But honestly, dude, you need to come with. It'll be good for you, and we're not taking no for an answer. Time for brotherly bonding," Emmett said again.

"I really need to work. I have to find a job. I have to support Bella, Maddy and Masen."

"Looks like you've been trying to do that for a few hours. Take a break. You can find a job tomorrow. You look like shit. Let's go."

I closed my laptop and followed them , Jasper, and I all walked to our make-shift fort we built out back in the woods when we were kids. The wooden roof leaked and the place smelled musty and moldy, but we didn't have the heart to tear it down. I was surprised the three of us could still fit inside it!

"Here," Jasper said as he handed me a bottle.

"Thanks. What did you guys bring?"

"Jack for you, SoCo for me, and lame-ass beer for Emmett."

"Really, Em? Beer?" I joked.

"Hey! Don't make fun of my beer," he said as he cuddled the six pack against his chest. "How the two of you can drink that shit is beyond me."

Jasper quickly handed me my bottle and I took a long, slow gulp of it, relishing in the burn it caused as it slid down my throat. I needed to get my mind off of things even though it probably wasn't the best way to do it. I couldn't remember the last time the three of us were together like this, and I realized then just how badly I had missed my brothers.

Our conversation started off light and easy. We mainly talked sports, which led to shit-talking and more drinking. I wasn't sure how we would manage to walk home, but at the moment, I didn't care. At least we weren't driving.

"So... Edward, what _really_ happened with you and Tanya?" Jasper asked out of the blue.

His question took me by surprise causing me to spit out my drink. "Way to kill my buzz, Jas."

"Don't mean to. Just curious. You know, what happens in the fort, stays in the fort."

"No, that only applies to Vegas," Emmett said. His speech was a little slurred, and I knew his beer had begun to affect him. "We totally need to go there."

"You only want to go there for the strippers and to get a tattoo. I keep telling you, you don't have to go that far," Jasper said.

"It's the experience!" he replied excitedly.

"I'll give you an experience," I mumbled.

"So tell us, what really happened?"

"I was fucking played, that's what."

"Tell us," Jasper said.

"Tanya saw an opening and took full advantage of it," I began.

"What do you mean?" Emmett asked before he loudly belched.

"Gross, man," Jasper said as he wrinkled his nose in disgust.

"When I went to Chicago to look at colleges,Tanya told me that Bella cheated on me with her boyfriend James."

"What the fuck, man?" Jasper asked.

"Wait, so why the fuck would you actually believe Bella would do that to you?" Emmett asked.

"I didn't. Not at first. But then she told me she was pregnant and Tanya kept insisting that it couldn't be mine. And really, we hadn't had sex in a while, so I didn't believe her. Plus, we always used protection. She was showing when she told me, so I just figured it had to belong to someone else. I didn't think my family had twins. Plus, Tanya kept sending more pictures to my phone." I quickly pulled out my phone and passed it to Jasper, who, along with Emmett, started looking at the pictures.

"Damn. These look legit," Jasper said.

"She later admitted to downloading pictures from Bella's Facebook page and then swapped in pictures of James to make it look like the two of them were hooking up while I was gone. Tanya then started in with the lies saying James and Bella had been together for months in advance, and how he had told her he was in love with Bella and not her. The truth was that James broke it off with her when he decided to join the military. He said he wanted to enjoy the single life before heading off to boot camp."

"Fuck! How did you not kick his ass? That shit looks real! No wonder you went nuts."

"I know. She started sending them a few days before Bella told me she was pregnant. What the fuck was I supposed to think? I didn't want to think that Bella had cheated on me - it's not how she is - but those pictures showed something completely different."

"So lemme ask you this," Jasper said before taking anther swig. "Did you really sleep with Tanya?"

I took another long swig from the bottle. The room was spinning a bit, and any inhibitions I had regarding my non-existent sex life no longer existed at that moment. "Nope."

"Whoa, whoa, _whoa_!" Emmett hollered. "You never slept with her? What the hell, man? I thought you said you did?"

"I came really close."

"Please tell me you didn't hook up when you were still with Bella? I mean, 'cuz that girl is smokin' hot," Emmett said.

"Totally. If I wasn't with Alice, I'd definitely make a move on Bella," Jasper said.

"No! Of course not. We were already broken up, and it was before the twins were born."

"Thank God for that. I'd hate to kick your ass again," Emmett warned with a firm undertone to his voice.

"So what do you mean you came close?" Jasper asked, confused. He looked down at his dick before looking at me again. "You weren't having any..._problems_ were you?"

"Dude, they make a blue pill for that, and I happen to know Dad has them," Emmett said with a sly grin on his face.

Jasper choked on the swig he took. "How the _fuck_ do you know that?"

"_Fuck!_ I don't want to think about Dad's..._problems_," I said before taking another swig. "That's just wrong." I shuddered at the thought.

Emmett took another sip and wiped his mouth. "I was running errands with Mom when she picked them up. Poor bastard. What's it called ...vag...I think it rhymes with vagina?"

"Anyway, we were foolin' around a bit one day. I told her I wasn't comfortable going all the way, but Tanya kept pushing. When she went to put the condom on - 'cuz you know I'm wrapping my shit tighter than a pad lock on a fat kid's candy stash - I started second guessing everything. I was going to tell her to stop when I smelled _her_."

"Smelled her? Did she forget to take a shower or something?" Emmett asked confused.

"She was wearing the same fucking perfume that Bella wears. You know that scent drives me _insane_. Anyway, Tanya goes to put the damn thing on, and the minute she starts rolling it up my dick," I took another sip before continuing. "I _fucking came_."

It was dead quiet for a moment. Jasper and Emmett both had a dumbfounded look on their faces. Emmett opened his mouth to say something a few times, but no words came out.

"You went at it again, though, right?" Jasper asked.

I shook my head. "I couldn't."

"You _couldn't_?" Jasper asked again, shocked.

"Viagra! Dad's taking Viagra!" Emmett hollered again before crushing his beer can with his forehead.

"Oh my God! Stop talking about Mom and Dad's sex life! And quit crushing cans on your forehead before you cut yourself and need stitches, moron!" Jasper yelled as he shoved Emmett against the wall of the fort playfully. "I'm trying to hear about Ed's sex life."

"By that time, I didn't want to any more. I realized what a mistake I had almost made. It's like my dick _knew_ or something, too. But that's not the worst part," I said before taking another swig.

"Um, how is that _not _the worst part?" Jasper questioned.

"When I came, I yelled Bella's name."

"No, you fucking did not!" Emmett howled. "What did Tanya do? Did her head rotate in a 360?"

"Her face like turned all purple and shit. Her makeup shit started running out of her eyes in black streaks. She looked fucking insane, like the Joker on Batman. She just started screaming and yelling about how I have no idea how to please a real woman. I thought for sure she'd make me go deaf with her screeching. Then she kicked me in the nuts." Emmett and Jasper both flinched at the thought. "Which only made a mess of things because the heel of her shoe snagged the fucking thing, so my damn jizz leaked out. Then she starts screaming even more because they were expensive and imported or some shit like that. You know, a normal person would have stayed still until it was cleaned up, but not her. She starts flailing around like a fucking fish out of water, so my jizz landed on her books and iPhone as well."

A moment later, Jasper and Emmett were rolling around on the floor, howling with laughter. _Fuckers_. I had to admit, though, that it was kind of funny.

"Dude, Bella is your guardian angel," Emmett said, still laughing.

"What do you mean?"

"She saved you from demon pussy. You owe her for life. And if ever you want proof that she owns your dick - well there you have it. Look how _close_ you _came_." Emmett and Jasper were laughing hysterically and holding their stomachs for effect.

"When you said you got played, what exactly do you mean?" Jasper asked after the laughter died down.

"Well, lets see, as if getting me to believe that the twins weren't mine wasn't bad enough, Tanya tried to convince Bella that she was pregnant with _my_ baby. I kept denying it because I knew that couldn't be true."

"Jeez, since you insisted that with Bella and had been proved wrong, Tanya really had you by the balls," Emmett said.

"You should have fucking seen Tanya's face when Mom pulled out the pregnancy test. Mom was fucking bad-ass. She fucking blindsided her. It was crazy shit, man."

"Wow. I didn't think Mom had it in her," Emmett said.

"I think the thing that's pissing me off the most about all of this, is the fact that she tried to hurt Bella and the kids. They did absolutely nothing to her, yet it was her personal mission to hurt them. If she had been a guy, I would have beat the hell out of him. They are my family! How dare she do that!" I yelled. The anger I felt last night had bubbled its way to the surface again. I took a few deep breaths to calm myself back down.

"So what did Tanya say when the truth finally came out?" Jasper asked.

"She tried to say shit about how I really loved her not Bella - and I never told her that. I guess I didn't realize just how jealous she was of Bella, though. I told her - before her parents dragged her out of the house screaming like a fucking psycho - to stay away from my kids and Bella. I don't even want to _think_ about what she would do to them." I was done talking about Tanya. I knew I would still need to speak with Bella about it, but tonight I was done.

"You don't... regret Bella keeping Mad and Mas, do you?" Emmett hesitantly asked.

"At first, yeah," I said honesty. "I mean, think about it. I thought had my future planned. College, med school, then my residency with Bella at my side the whole way, even if she was at school in Minnesota. Then Bella said she's pregnant - with _twins_ no less - and that she's keeping them. It scared me to death, and I seriously fucked up my relationship with her because I made lame-ass decisions. When she collapsed... I fucking lost it. I thought she was going die, or the twins would die, or worse - all three. If something had happened...I don't know what I would have done. But the minute I saw them, I instantly fell in love. I can't imagine life without them."

"I don't think you've completely ruined things with Bells. You'll have to work for it, though," Emmett said before belching again.

"Oh my God! I just had a brilliant idea!" Jasper said, jumping to his feet, only to fall back on his ass a second later. Now it was my turn to laugh. "We need to cleanse your cock, man."

"Say what?" I asked, completely horrified. I had no idea what "cleansing my cock" actually meant.

"Gotta get rid of the bad Tanya juju. Plus, the cleansing is your first step in getting Bells back!" _Oh good Lord. I didn't even want to know what the other steps would be._

"Totally. You don't want that shit following you around. Do we still have that bottle of vodka out here?" Emmett asked as he started looking through the tiny cubbyholes.

"What the fuck do you need vodka for?" I asked. I had no idea where he was going with this. Most likely, it was something stupid since he was drunk.

"This should be interesting," Jasper mumbled.

"Found it!"

"Again, what do you need vodka for?"

"It's the closest thing to holy water. Lay down, fucker."

"No way! It'll look like I pissed myself."

"It's either that, or have your dick be traumatized for life. And as your brother, I can't allow that. That's boarder line torture, dude," Emmett said.

"Yeah, man. You _do_ want to laid again, right?" Jasper asked.

"Yes," I mumbled._ But only by Bella. I was a goner._

"Then lay the fuck down so I can do this!"

"You guys are assholes, you know that?"

I lay down as best as I could in the tiny fort while Emmett poured vodka on my junk. Jasper mumbled something stupid before making the sign of the cross and declaring the the bad juju gone. I fucking loved my brothers.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: I'd like to take a minute to explain Edward's "yes I did/no I didn't sleep with Tanya" issue. A few chapters back, Edward confessed to Carlisle and Esme that he had slept with Tanya. Then last chapter, he denied it to his brothers. The explanation is this: Edward felt that his parents would consider what he did with Tanya as sex, which is why he confirmed it. Granted, there was never penetration, but Carlisle and Esme are still a bit old fashioned. Jasper and Emmett would see it as fooling around, so that is why he denied it to them. Just so we're all clear: no, Edward never had actual intercourse with Tanya. Remember, Bella and Edward were broken up during this time, both were free to date others, and the twins were not born. I hope this clears up some confusion.**

**Also, we're skipping ahead here. There are things we must get to!**

**DISCLAIMER: _Twilight _belongs to Stephanie Meyer. _Return to Pooh Corner_ belongs to Kenny Loggins. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**Many thanks to BookishQua, KannnD, Piperann_25 and Shadowed by Passion - I love these girls so fucking much.**

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BPOV

Christmas was my favorite time of year. But this year was more special. This was Maddy and Masen's first Christmas, and I went all out for them. Dad and I dug out our fake tree - that was older than me and on it's last leg - along with all of the old ornaments. I laughed at the memories that accompanied a few of them.

"Masen reminds me of you at his age," Dad said, chuckling.

"What do you mean?"

"You freaked out at the twinkling lights on the tree. I never could figure out why, but you didn't like them. Masen is the same way."

I giggled as I remembered the terrifying cry of Masen when he first saw them. His little face scrunched up for a moment before he let out a wail. "So that's why you replaced them. I thought they burnt out or something."

"No. I changed them while you were in class."

"Dad, I really don't think we need to hang the purple snowflake this year," I said. I gently ran my finger over the fading, thinning snowflake made from construction paper.

"Bells, you made that in Kindergarten."

"Yeah, and it's being held together by tape, which is coming off!"

"It's special, Bells. You were so proud for not cutting yourself. How can I not put that out again this year? You'll see what I mean when the twins are older," Dad replied with a gleam in his eye.

"Oh that reminds me!" I sprang to my feet and went to the closet to retrieve my bag. I pulled out small box and went back into the living room. "I picked these up for the twins."

Inside the box were two silver snowflakes with each of their names engraved along with "Baby's First Christmas" and the year. I had purchased them with the small bonus Mrs. Newton had given me earlier in the week. I placed them on a branch below the silver ice skate that had my name and the same engraving.

"Well now it's perfect," Dad said with his usual grin. We quickly put the boxes away and sat on the couch. Rebecca and the twins had gone off to bed hours ago leaving the house still and quiet. Christmas was still a few weeks away, and I knew we both had presents to wrap, but right now all I wanted was to sit in the quiet with my Dad.

"Sure has been an interesting year, hasn't it?" Dad asked as he handed me a mug of hot chocolate.

"It has, yes." I thought back to Christmas last year. I had been so confused; so hurt. I wanted to make sure this Christmas was filled with warmth and love - the way it should be.

"I know it's been difficult for you, but you have so much determination."

"It hasn't been easy, and there were a few times when I just wanted to say forget it and drop a class or two, but I kept going."

"Have you figured out a major yet?"

"No. Is that bad?" I asked. I felt like I was the only one in school without a major, and that scared me a little bit. What if I couldn't decide on one? What if I picked one and found out I actually hated it? Or worse, what if I chose one that disappointed my dad?

"I don't think so. It's only the end of the first semester. I'm sure you have time."

"So, Renee sent a me a package," I said hesitantly.

"She did? What was it?"

"I don't know. I sent it back unopened."

Dad turned and looked at me for a long moment. His eyes were narrowed, deep in thought. "Good for you."

"Really?" I asked, completely shocked.

"Yeah. I don't think I need to tell you that she and I had words after the last stunt she pulled."

"You called her about that?" I asked with raised eyebrows. I had no idea he called her about the money - or lack there of - she sent me.

"Of course I did. What she did the last time was _unacceptable_," he said. There was a harsh tone to his voice. I often thought of it as his 'cop voice,' since it scared me when I was younger.

"I know. It's just..."

"Just what?"

"I just...hate that she makes me feel so...disappointing and unwanted. All it takes is one look or just a few words from her. The things she said in her letter Dad, they were awful. I know she wasn't happy that I kept the twins, but how could she keep turning her back on me when I needed her the most? I mean, I had you, Rebecca and Esme, but I needed _her_ most of all," I said. My eyes were filled with tears, my heart was racing, and I was shaking.

"Oh sweetheart," Dad said softly. He gently pulled me against his chest and held me tight while I cried. "I'm so sorry."

"I hate it, Dad. I needed her and she kept pushing me away. Did she ever really want me?"

Dad sighed and hesitated before answering. "I don't know. I wish I knew why she acts the way she does, but I don't."

"When she left, did she ever ask about me?" I wasn't sure why I asked the question, but it was something I had always wondered.

"It was almost six months before I heard from Renee when she first left. Every time I mentioned you, she would change the subject. I thought it was because she felt guilty for leaving, but I was never sure. Our conversations were always about where she was and what she was doing."

"I just don't understand how she could walk away."

"Maybe it's time you heard why we broke up."

I sat up and wiped my eyes. "Okay."

"Renee and I had been arguing a lot after you were born. Whenever we went out with you, she acted like a great mom. She fed you, changed you, and showed you off like a proud mother. But when were alone in the house, she was completely different."

"How?" I asked.

"She wouldn't care for you, and it was a fight to get her to do anything. Her excuse was that I was home from work and that it was 'my turn.' It was frustrating. Eventually, I started to notice other things she was doing or not doing."

"What caused her to leave?"

"I had been called to the station. About an hour or so after I got there, our neighbor called me saying she had heard you crying for over a half hour and that Renee was outside sunning herself. When I got back to the house, you were still crying, and had soiled through your clothes."

"How could she let me cry like that? God, if Maddy or Masen cry for more than a minute I feel awful, but a half hour?" I asked. I could feel my entire body start to shake from anger towards this woman. I didn't understand how a mother could just leave her child unattended and sobbing.

"I asked her what the hell her problem was. She said she couldn't take the crying anymore and that you wouldn't calm down. Once I changed you and tried to give you a bottle, I realized that something else was wrong."

"What was wrong?"

"I didn't find out until later that night when I took you to the ER, but you ended up having a double ear infection."

"Wait a minute," I began. "She didn't see that I was sick? Was I not pulling my ear or did I felt warm to the touch?" I was bewildered how she could ignore all of this.

"I don't know. I was so _angry _with her. I mean, what if something worse had happened? What if you choked or something?" Dad shook his head a few times to calm down.

"That doesn't sound like her only excuse, Dad."

"It wasn't. She was _incredibly _jealous of you. Renee was used to being the center of attention, and when you were born, the focus shifted from her to you."

"But, I was a baby!" I was flabbergasted at the notion of a mother being jealous of her infant child.

"I know, and please don't think I blame you for any of this. I don't, but you need to know the truth."

I nodded. "Go on," I urged.

"When Renee woke up the next morning, I had her bags packed and waiting by the door. I told her she could get help, or I'd call my partner and have her brought to the station for neglect. She argued and said she was fine and that I was overreacting and spoiling you too much, but I couldn't let this go on. To be honest, I wanted her to stay. I wanted the three of us to be a happy family. I loved her with everything I had."

"But?"

"You had woken up and needed to be changed. By the time I came back down, she was gone."

"What a horrible woman."

Dad took my hands in his before softly saying, "I'm sorry she wasn't the mom you deserved."

"It's not your fault, Dad. _She_ made the decision to leave rather than get help. It's obvious to me that she still hasn't gotten it, and I want absolutely _nothing _to do with her," I said adamantly.

"That's probably a good idea. I want you to know, Bella, that I don't regret making her leave. You've always been the most important thing to me."

"I just don't want to let you down," I whispered. I could feel tears forming in my eyes again, and quickly wiped them away.

"You haven't. You're working and going to school full time while raising twins. How could I feel let down by that? If anything, Renee should look at you and realize you are the type of mother she chose not to be. Those twins are pretty damn lucky to have you as a mom."

I didn't know what to say to him. He had been so honest with me, so vulnerable when admitting the truth about Renee. I lay my head against his chest again and listened to the calming sound of his heartbeat.

"I love ya, Bells."

"Love ya, too. And, thanks."

"For what?" Dad asked.

"For fighting for me when I couldn't."

"You're my daughter, Bella. I'll fight for you until I'm dead."

The next day after work and school, I drove over to the Cullens. Dad and Rebecca had taken a few days off and driven up to Seattle to see some of her friends and do some shopping. It had been a long and exhausting day. My classes were prepping for the upcoming finals, and Newton's was busy with the Christmas shopping season. I took a bit of comfort knowing I had the upcoming weekend off, and made plans with my study group to meet up at the house for a few hours before finals next week. As I pulled up to the house, I was greeted by Carlisle who, with the help of Emmett and Jasper, was hanging lights on the eaves of the Cullen's roof.

"Good evening, Bella," Carlisle greeted as I got out of the car.

"Hi."

"Esme saved you a plate from dinner if you're hungry, and I think Alice and Rose are still awake."

"The house looks nice."

"I'm sure once Esme sees it, she'll have us change _something_," Carlisle replied sarcastically.

I giggled and went inside where I was welcomed with the smell of one of Esme's delicious pies. It smelled like pecan and made my mouth water. I quickly removed my coat and boots and walked into the living room. As usual, it was beautifully decorated from the tinsel on the tree to the soft glow from her Christmas Village collection.

"Look, there's Mama," Edward said softly from the arm chair. He was holding Maddy in his arms while reading what appeared to be a text book. Edward looked exhausted and stressed - the exact same way I had been feeling with finals looming. The moment Maddy saw me, her face broke out in a beautiful, drool-filled smile.

"Hey beautiful girl," I said as I pulled her into my arms. The moment my hand touched Edward, I felt that familiar spark. I immediately pulled away from him. I wasn't ready for those feelings just yet; perhaps some day. I kissed both of her pudgy cheeks and sat on the couch. "I missed you today. Where is your brother?"

"He's already asleep upstairs." Edward motioned to the monitor on the coffee table.

"Was Maddy fussy today?" I asked. She had been clingy the past few days, wanting to be held more than usual.

"She wasn't too bad. I had to give her a bit of Tylenol earlier, but other than that, she was fine."

"Tylenol? Why?" I asked, concerned. Since she was a preemie and had trouble breathing when she was born, I was told to keep an eye on her breathing. I hoped she wasn't getting sick. I placed my lips against her forehead to see if she was warm. Thankfully, she wasn't.

"She's had a low fever all day. Nothing too bad, though."

"Oh good. If it keeps up, I'll make her an appointment. Was she wheezing or anything?"

"No, nothing like that. It's probably just a start of a cold or something. Carlisle looked at her and said not to worry and that her lungs sounded fine."

"I thought I heard you, Bella," Esme said from behind me. She was dressed in her robe, hair in a braid, ready for bed. "I have a plate warming up for you."

"Thanks. I'm starving."

"Didn't you get to eat today?" Esme asked.

"I had a sandwich between classes today, but work was really busy tonight."

"Go eat. I have to get Maddy ready for bed, anyway," Edward said as he took her from me. "We'll be up in the nursery."

I stood and followed Esme into the kitchen and sat at the table as she took my plate from the warming oven. As I ate, I wondered what Renee's real reason was for letting me cry when I was sick. The more I thought about it, the more I had come to realize that she didn't want me; that I was a mistake in her eyes. I couldn't understand how a fellow mother could turn her back on her child. I could never - and would never - do that to my children. I would be the mother I never had.

"Do you mind if I stay the night? Dad and Rebecca are gone, and Maddy's sick. I don't think I can leave her."

"Not at all, you know that. Do you need to be up at a certain time tomorrow?"

"I have an alarm on my phone I can set."

"Good. Don't stay up too late, okay?" Esme kissed the top of my head before going up to bed.

I quickly washed my plate and placed it on the rack to dry and made my way upstairs to the nursery. I saw Alice poke her head out of her door and told her I would be in once Maddy was in bed. In the nursery, I found Masen sound asleep in his crib. I stood next to it for a moment, watching him breathe and his eyes flutter as he dreamed. Masen was such a handsome little boy - chubby cheeks, deep brown hair with just a hint of auburn and light red lips - just like his father.

"Bells," Edward whispered behind me from the doorway. I turned and saw him holding Maddy against his chest, wrapped in a towel, and sound asleep. I giggled wondering if he would be able to get her changed without too much of a fuss. "Can you grab me some clothes for her?"

"Sure." I grabbed a pink pajama set and handed it to him. "Do you want some help?"

"No, but company would be nice."

I nodded and followed him into his room. He gently placed Maddy on his bed. He was so gentle with her. He carefully dried her off and changed her into a diaper. She started whimpering while he put her pajamas on, so he quietly hummed to her. Once she was dressed, he picked her up and started pacing the room to get her to fall back asleep.

"You know, you can sit on the bed, it's a lot more comfortable than the desk chair," Edward said.

"I know, but I'd prefer to sit here," I said, flabbergasted that he would even suggest it.

His bed held too many memories for me. This used to be the place where Edward and I could just be together. We often hid under the covers and talked or read to each other. But the one memory that sticks out the most, was the night Edward and I lost our virginity in this bed. It was such a beautiful night. The thought of sitting on that bed, after everything that has happened since that night - I couldn't do it. I shook my head a few times and looked over at a picture Edward had on his side table. It was the two of us two summers ago at his parents' cabin. We were sitting by the campfire roasting marshmallows and looked completely happy.

"Are we ever going to get back to where we used to be?" Edward asked. He was looking at the picture, too.

I was suddenly overwhelmed with an array of emotions: hurt, betrayal, anger, grief, and loneliness. I didn't understand why he would suddenly ask this. Without answering - because I couldn't form words - I stood and left Edward's room. I didn't like that he still had a hold over me; how he could still make me feel so vulnerable. The moment I left his room, I realized I should have stayed and told him how I felt, but I didn't. I hated myself for doing that.

"Bells, are you okay?" Emmett asked from the stairs. I couldn't answer him - my mind still unable to form a word. I quickly shut my eyes and fought back the tears that were threatening. I felt his arm around me a moment later as he started guiding me towards Alice's room. "Are you alright? What happened?"

"I... I'm fine," I finally answered. I didn't want to cause any problems - after all, I should have been at home rather than here, but I didn't like to stay at the house all alone.

"What's wrong?" Alice asked the moment her door opened.

"She won't tell me!" Emmett replied.

"Leave her with us. We'll take care of her," Rose said, standing behind Alice.

"Emmett, don't say anything to Edward, okay? He has Maddy in his room and Masen's already asleep. And, I'm fine, really. Maddy's running a fever, it's been a really long day, and I'm exhausted."

"Okay, Bells. Let me know if you need anything, okay?"

I nodded and followed Alice and Rose back into their room. "You know you're not a very good liar, Bella. Spill it," Rose said as she closed the door. I curled up on Alice's bed and let out a long, hard, sigh. "I can tell there's something major on your mind. Let it out, sweetie."

"It's been a long few days," I began. "I found out why my mom was never around."

"Oh?" Alice asked.

"Yeah. Dad gave her an ultimatum and she chose to leave."

"Wait! Why did Charlie give her an ultimatum?" Alice asked.

"Dad said she resented me after I was born, and wouldn't take care of me. She left me crying in the house one day for hours when I had a double-ear infection. The neighbor called him because I was crying so loud and Mom was sunbathing in the front lawn, and Dad had couldn't take it anymore. I've been trying to figure out how she could do that, but I can't think of a good enough reason."

"Maybe she was suffering from some sort of illness?" Rosalie asked. "But either way, what she did wasn't right. You deserved to have a mother."

"But Rose, she's done this all the time - rejecting me and then acting like it was nothing. If it was an illness, she would have gotten help, right?"

"Maybe, maybe not. You did say that Charlie asked her to get help and she refused. Whatever her reason may be, it's completely fucked up."

"I always thought the reason she left was because of something I did, but to find out that it was _her_ decision makes it that much worse. There were so many times that I needed her and she wasn't there." I hid my face under a pillow on Alice's bed and started to silently cry. I had done so much of it in the last twenty-four hours that I was surprised I had any tears left.

"Don't hide, Bells," Alice said taking the pillow from my face. I looked up and saw that she was crying along with Rose.

"I can't figure out if the loneliness I'm feeling is from that, or if it's been added to the loneliness I feel everyday."

"I didn't know you were lonely," Rose said.

"I am. So much so that I feel like I'm drowning in it. Don't get me wrong, Maddy and Masen make me so happy, and I love our girl time together, but I miss... not necessarily Edward, but... the _intimacy_ I had with him. We used to be able to look at each other and sense what the other needed. And now when I look at him, all I see is another person who abandoned me when I needed him the most." I let my sobs over take me and was comforted by both Alice and Rose, who wrapped their arms around me and cried as well.

"You'll never have to worry about us leaving you, Bells. You're stuck with us for life," Rose said.

"Do you guys think I'll turn out like her? Renee, I mean?"

"Never, Bella," Alice said "There's no way you could be like her."

"How do you know?" I asked.

"Because you have put Maddy and Masen in front of your needs since the moment you found out you were pregnant. And by the sound of it, Renee never did," Rosalie said. "Don't give her another moment of your time. She's not worth it."

"Why do people say they love me but end up leaving me?" I cried. "What is it about me that is wrong?"

"Nothing! Absolutely nothing is wrong with you," Rosalie said. "You'll find someone who loves you as you are."

"Anyone who feels otherwise can go to hell," Alice added.

I woke up a few hours later, still in Alice's bed, and heard Maddy crying. I gently got out of bed and made my way down the hall to the nursery. There I found Edward taking Maddy's temperature.

"Hey," I said quietly. "Is she okay?"

"I think so. She felt warm, so I figured I'd check her temp. Did she wake you?"

"Eh, I'm used to it." I felt something soft under my feet and looked down to see a blanket on the floor along with a pillow. "Edward, were you sleeping in here?"

"Yeah. I didn't want her to wake up anyone if she cried, so I decided to stay in here. Why don't you go back to sleep? I can handle this."

"I'm okay."

Edward changed Maddy's diaper and found her pacifier before settling down on the floor with her still in his arms. He started rocking back and forth and was softly humming to her. I recognized the song almost immediately, and started quietly singing along with him.

_Christopher Robin and I walked along_

_Under branches lit up by the moon_

_Posing our questions to Owl and Eeyore_

_As our days disappeared all too soon_

_But I've wandered much further today than I should_

_And I can't seem to find my way back to the Wood_

_Help me if you can_

_I've got to get back_

_To the House at Pooh Corner by one_

_You'd be surprised_

_There's so much to be done_

_Count all the bees in the hive_

_Chase all the clouds from the sky_

_Back to the days of Christopher Robin and Pooh_

"I didn't know you knew that song," Edward said.

"Yep. Dad sang it to me and I sing it to them. How'd you hear it?"

"Esme found a CD with lullaby's on it. I need to find the sheet music for it. I'd like to learn this on the guitar and piano."

"Edward, I'm really sorry about walking away from you earlier. I shouldn't have done that," I whispered.

"I'm sorry, too, Bella, if my comment upset you. I just... miss you."

"I miss you, too, but I'm not ready for a romantic relationship yet. I still feel very hurt and betrayed. I miss my friend most of all, and I can't return the same kind of feelings right now. I hope you understand."

"I do. There's a lot of things that happened with Tanya that I haven't told you."

"I'd like to hear them when you're comfortable enough to tell me." Maddy turned her head toward me then reached out her pudgy little arm. I knew she wanted me. "Can I take her?"

"Sure." Edward handed her over to me. "The thing is, Bella, that I don't think I'll ever be comfortable enough to tell you, but I know I should. You deserve that much, and I'm sorry for not talking to you about it sooner."

"I appreciate that." I looked down and saw - with the little bit of light from the nightlight across the room - that Maddy was asleep. "Do you mind if I stay in here, too?"

"No. Let me go get another pillow and blanket."

I snuggled Maddy to my chest and lay on the floor. I didn't realize how much Edward had grown when it came to caring for the twins. I wouldn't have thought that he would sleep on the floor because one of twins were sick. Nor would I have thought he'd offer to tell me the truth about Tanya. Granted he still hadn't, but at least now I knew it was coming and felt a little better about it. Edward returned a few minutes later with a few pillows and more blankets. It wasn't long before I fell asleep with Maddy nestled between us - completely content.

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**Oh! I was interviewed for TGML on The Twilight Awards. go check it out: www (dot) thetwilightawards (dot) com/ 2011/06/author-spotlight-interview (dot)html**

**AND! My OS _Honor Thy Father_ has been nominated for Best Drama/Angst/Tragedy at the Single Shot Awards! I'd love you if you voted for it :) http:/ thesingleshotawards (dot) blogspot (dot) com**

**The lullaby that Edward hums can be found here: http:/ / vjIYTd_lJqs "Return to Pooh Corner" by Kenny Loggins. I love this song - I used to hum it to my babies when they were younger. It melts your heart. :)**


	14. Chapter 14

Thank you to my wonderful pre-readers and beta's: Shadowed by Passion, piperann_25, KannnD, and BookishQua. I would be nothing without these ladies. :)

If you're reviewing on FF - if you have your PM's disabled, I can't reply to you, which makes me sad because then I can't say thank you!

Thank you to everyone who voted for _Honor Thy Father_. I didn't win, but I do appreciate the votes :)

Important note: In this story, Bella is a year ahead of Rosalie and Alice; Bella - freshman in college. Rosalie & Alice - seniors in high school. However, Edward, Jasper and Emmett are all freshman in college as well. Just a little change from the norm :)

_****This is a long, but an important chapter. Enjoy!**_

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Chapter 14

**EPOV**

Sometime during the night I awoke not to the sounds of my daughter or son, but to the mumbling of Bella. She was cuddled around Maddy, sound asleep. It felt a little weird waking up next to her, but at the same time, it felt good, too. I missed the intimacy we had, the nights we'd lay next to each other and just _be_. It had been so long since I last saw her so relaxed and so calm. I closed my eyes and basked in the knowledge that she was next to me before sleep took me.

I woke up an hour later to Bella's voice. "Don't go...please, don't go." She only spoke in her sleep when she was having a nightmare or was deeply asleep. Tonight, though, I couldn't tell which one it was.

Maddy, thankfully, was still asleep, but stirring at Bella's voice. I stood and placed her in her crib. Thankfully, she doesn't fuss.

I sat back down and adjusted Bella's blanket, wanting nothing more than to pull her close to me and hold her as she slept. My fingers longed to run through her hair, my lips were desperate to kiss her soft skin. I craved the longing her brown eyes as they gazed back at me while I hovered over her.

I knew, though, that she wasn't ready for that, and neither was I. We had too many unspoken words between us, and I knew that if we wanted to get as close as we were before, I needed to tell her everything. I was scared, though. I was afraid that she wouldn't be able to forgive me for hurting her so deeply. If that were to happen, I would be devastated. I didn't want to just be civil to each other when we were around our kids; I wanted us to be happy. I wanted us to be in love. I wanted us to be committed and together.

I knew there was no one else in this world for me. I wanted to marry her, to have more children with her, and grow old with her. I prayed that she felt the same way, and that one day she would forgive me. That would be the hard part - gaining her forgiveness. I didn't care how long it took, either.

"I need you," she mumbled again. "Renee... I need you so much. Please don't go." My heart broke at her plea. Renee abandoned her at the time when she needed it the most. I needed to make this right. Perhaps I could talk to Charlie and figure out a way to keep Renee away from Bella and the twins. I took her hand in mine and gave her a gentle squeeze to let her know I was here. She then let out a long sigh and was quiet for the rest of the night. I drifted back to sleep shortly thereafter.

"Edward," Bella whispered. "It's six. I'm going to take a shower." How was it six already? It felt like I had only been sleeping a few minutes.

"What?" I mumbled, still half asleep.

"I'm going to take a shower. Why don't you go back to your room? I'll get you when I'm done."

"M'kay." I barely remember walking back to my room, or collapsing on my bed before I heard Bella's voice again.

"Come on, Edward. Time to get up. It's almost seven."

"Okay, okay." I stretched and rubbed my eyes before sitting up. "Did you sleep okay?"

"As well as could be expected for sleeping on a floor. You?"

"Same." I wanted to ask her about her dream and tell her about what she had said in her sleep, but stopped myself. I wasn't sure if it was something she would be comfortable talking to me about. "What time are your classes done today?"

"Early afternoon. Alice and Rose wanted to meet up later for lunch, so I'll be back later this afternoon to pick up Maddy and Masen," she replied. It sounded as though she was hesitant about going out.

"You don't have to rush back on my account."

"I know, but you've had the kids since yesterday, and I know you need to get work done, too." She was looking down at the floor, and I knew she felt bad for going out. I wasn't sure how often she went out socially, but I could tell it wasn't that often. Alice and Rose had even mentioned that she hadn't gone out with them in a while.

"It's okay, Bella. Have a good lunch with Alice and Rose, alright?"

"Okay." She let out a hard sigh as she looked at my textbooks that were on my desk. "Are you as stressed as I am about finals?"

"Yeah. I can't predict how I'm going to do, since I'm kind of struggling with a class, but I hope I do good."

"You're struggling?"

"Yeah. Thankfully, it's one of my online classes, and my final isn't until next week."

"Which one?"

"English. It's never been a good subject for me."

"I could help you...if you wanted? I'm meeting with my study group on Saturday and could come over after if you wanted?" she asked hesitantly.

"Really?" I was surprised she was offering to help me.

"Sure. Can I ask you something?"

"Always."

"Are you happy about the career change? I know you really wanted to be a doctor."

"I am. I'll admit I was a bit bummed that med school was out, but when I really thought about it, I wouldn't be able to watch our kids grow if I decided to go to med school. All the classes, labs and then a residency...I would miss so much, and I don't want to do that. I want to be able to watch Masen play football and Maddy at her dance recitals in person, not on tape. I hated it when Carlisle would get stuck at the hospital and miss something. I don't want to be like that."

"Football? What if he wants hockey or soccer?"

"Well then I'd read up on hockey and soccer stuff. My point is that I want to be there; I want to be a hands-on dad."

Bella smiled. "Good. I can see you being the dad that gets yelled at by the ref for getting too loud on a bad call."

I laughed. "Probably. And if Emmett's there, then we're _really_ in trouble."

"We should probably have bail money tucked away."

"Mom would kill me if that happened."

"Most likely. Alright, I should go. I'll call you when I'm on my way back, okay?"

"Okay. Just don't rush, okay?"

When Bella stood, I had to stop myself from pulling her into a hug and kissing the top of her head. It was something I was so used to doing, that it was almost automatic. I hated that I couldn't do it now.

**BPOV**

I was distracted. All day I had been thinking about my early morning chat with Edward, and worrying about Maddy at the same time. My concern for her was that she sounded congested. Since she had difficulty breathing when she was born, it was something I looked for. If she still sounded as bad or worse tomorrow, I would make an appointment with her doctor.

I also couldn't get Edward off my mind. He had slept on the floor in the nursery because of Maddy. It was unexpected, but very sweet. I wondered, though, if he knew he took hold of my hand during the night? Was it planned? Did he like it? Did he feel the same spark I did? I could still feel his firm grip on my skin.

Once my classes were done, I called Alice who said she and Rose were on their way and would meet me at McGee's, a local sports bar and grill. I quickly made my way to my car. It had gotten bitterly cold since this morning, and it had begun to lightly snow. Thankfully, the roads weren't bad yet. When I arrived, I found Alice and Rose outside waiting for me.

"Hey Bella!" Alice greeted me as I got out of the car. "I'm so glad you decided to meet us."

"Me too, but won't Esme be upset you're ditching classes?"

"No. We told her we needed to go to the library for a couple of books. She bought it," Rosalie said holding up two books in her hand.

"Okay, but if she finds out, don't blame me."

The three of us walked into McGee's. It was your typical sports bar and grill - TV's with various sport channels on, dark wood walls, and the smell of beer in the air. There was music playing loudly - something that sounded like it was from the late '80 or early '90's. We were greeted by the hostess and was seated in a booth. As we were looking over the menu, I heard a familiar voice behind me.

"You have no idea the lengths I've gone to trying to get out of Forks. I thought I had it made with Edward - that we could go to Chicago together and have a life everyone was jealous of, but that bitch and her kids totally ruined it for me. Thank God for Michael, though."

I froze. This was a voice I never wanted to hear again. This was the voice of someone who made my life hell, who took the only person I had ever loved away from me. This voice belonged to _Tanya_.

"Who's Michael?"

"Daddy's business partner in New York - the one who over sees the Paris and Milan offices. I've been seeing him since junior year," Tanya said.

"Ew, he's like _Daddy's_ age," Kate said.

"Wait! You're seeing Daddy's business partner and dating Edward on the side? Slut much, Tanya?" Irina asked.

I looked at Rose and Alice, who's mouths were hanging open in shock.

"Tanya cheated on Edward?" Rosalie whispered.

"What a bitch," Alice replied.

"Irina, I liked Edward. I still do. But all he kept talking about was Bella. _Bella, Bella, Bella! _It was so annoying."

Our waitress returned to take our orders, but I was suddenly not hungry. Alice quickly dismissed the waitress saying we needed a few more minutes. I felt a lump in my throat and a knot in my stomach. How could she do this? After everything else she's done, this seemed to be too much - too hurtful. I wondered if Edward knew Tanya had been cheating?

"Maybe you should have taken that as a warning," another girl said. "If he's talking about someone _else_ twenty-four seven, it's pretty obvious that he wasn't over her."

"Kate, I worked my ass off to get him away from Bella. I've wanted him since we moved here, but he was always around _her_. I mean, she's not even pretty. I, on the other hand, am drop dead gorgeous, have amazing boobs and am fantastic in bed, and sometimes, I even swallow. What man wouldn't want that?"

"Obviously Edward didn't. So start over, he's been with Bella the entire time? Why'd you want to break them up?" Kate asked.

"Because he's handsome and sweet, and smart. She was boring, plain, and quiet. Why should he settle for that? Also, I needed to have a back-up plan in place in case Michael didn't come through."

"There's something in this Bella chick that he liked."

I could practically hear her eyes roll. "Whatever. When I heard Bella was pregnant, I _knew_ that was my opportunity. There's no way he could have been happy about that mistake. He was going to college in Chicago - away from this shit-hole. I knew that if I could convince him to love me, I would be set for life. His family has more money than Bill Gates, and not to mention, there's a rumor he has a separate trust fund from his real family."

So she really_ was_ with him because of his money. I always had a feeling she was, but I never thought she'd actually admit it. It wasn't like she was hurting. Her father ran a very successful global business. I knew others thought that, but it was never about that with the two of us. Edward could draw me a stick figure on a post-it note and I would be happy. I didn't need expensive gifts. I would much rather sit and watch a movie with him. It was the simple things in our relationship that I treasured.

"Oh my God, Tanya. What the hell is wrong with you?" Irina asked, appalled.

"Nothing. Anyway, as they fell apart, I started planting ideas in his mind that maybe the twins weren't his, even though we all knew they were. Hell, his son is a spitting image of him.

"So then what happened?"

"I faked some pictures that made it look like she had been cheating with James and held Edward's hand when he freaked out over them. The more time he spent with me, the further away he got from her. She was so pissed off at him that she made my work even easier by treating him like complete shit."

"So how long after that did you finally sleep with him?" Irina asked.

I growled in frustration. "We didn't. Eventually, despite him saying he didn't want to, I got him to agree to go further than kissing. I went to put a condom on - the poor thing was so worked up that when I went to put it on - and he fucking came all over me, my phone, and my favorite pair of shoes! And the fucker yelled out _her_ name! Then he just left telling me that it was a mistake and how he never wanted to be with me."

Irina and Kate burst out laughing at their sister. Rose and Alice had to stifle their own laugh, while I felt nothing but anger towards her. I didn't understand how she could ruin people's lives like it was nothing. How could she not see the consequences of her actions? Did she even feel any remorse for what she'd done? How could she talk about something so private in the open like it was nothing? Did she have any ounce of respect in her body?

"Oh God, Tanya. Mom and Daddy said you were fucked up, but this... this is priceless!" Kate laughed some more.

"It's not funny!"

"Mom said something about a confrontation and a pregnancy test," Irina said after she calmed down.

"Worst fucking day _ever_. So, like I said, I was seeing Michael on the side, as well as a few others. I figured that if I got pregnant, I could pin it on one of them, but it wasn't working as fast as I wanted it to. No one was calling me back, so I decided that I'd fake it and pin it on Edward instead. He never made Bella take a DNA test as far as I knew, so I just assumed he wouldn't do it with me, and I could get knocked up with someone else's kid and then fuck him OR, I could talk him into bed and get pregnant and claim the dates were wrong."

"But?"

"But then his mother decided to invite us over one night and ambushed me. They accused me of making Bella's senior year a living hell, blah, blah, blah. Then, Mrs. Cullen goes and pulls out a pregnancy test and practically demands that I take it! I didn't know what to do. I went into the bathroom and pissed away my chance to fuck him over. Michael called me two days later and everything just fell into place for us. So romantic."

"Seriously? What the fuck, Tanya? Who the hell are you? The sister I know is _nothing_ like this!" Irina shouted.

"It's not like it worked. He still loves Bella. Even _I_ can see that. At first he was quiet, but then... I've never seen him so angry. He said I ruined what he had with Bella. Then, he started going on and on about those fucking brats of theirs."

"Good for him!" Kate said.

"What? How could you say that?"

"Are you serious? I mean, did you fall and hit your head or something? How can you honestly think this is okay? It's not! You could have ruined so many people's lives! Does Daddy even know about Michael and the others?"

"No, but he will when Michael comes into town next week. He asked me to marry him last night."

"How? He's in New York, and you're here," Kate said.

"We Skype. He loves it when I'm naked while we chat. It's such a turn on for him," Tanya giggled. "He showed me the ring. it's big and beautiful. But the best part, he has a black credit card with my name on it! I can't wait to go shopping. Soon, my dear sisters, I'll be Tanya Mercier!" she exclaimed in a horrible French accent. I wanted to gag.

"You're pathetic. Don't come crying to me when all of this blows up in your face. It's happened already with Edward and it'll happen again," Irina said harshly. "How Mom and Daddy didn't ship you off to some boot camp or something is beyond me."

I couldn't sit there any longer and listen to Tanya and her sisters. I quickly pulled some money from my purse and threw it on the table and took off for the door, Rose and Alice on my heels. I was so hurt, so angry with not only Tanya, but with Edward, too. I wanted Edward to be the one to tell me everything, not her. I wanted to go back to the Cullen's and demand Edward tell me everything, but I knew I needed to calm down before I saw him. Plus, I didn't want to argue in front of the twins.

"Bella, wait!" Alice called behind me.

"Did you know about all of that?" I asked when I reached my car.

"No! None of it," Alice replied.

"How did you not smack the bitch on your way out? I would have," Rosalie said.

"Come back to the house with us. You can talk to Edward and finally get past this."

"It's not that easy, Alice. I can't just walk in there, demand him to tell me his version and then forgive and forget. Maybe you can forgive that quickly, but I can't. My world shattered the day he chose Tanya over me and the babies."

"But he's changing," Rosalie said.

"Yes, he's changing, but it's taken him this long to do it! Why couldn't he be there for me when I needed him? Why did I have to wait for him to be ready to be a parent?" I asked angrily. "Tell Edward I'll be back to pick up the twins in a little bit. I just need some time to cool off." I got into my car and pulled out of the parking lot before my tears came.

**EPOV **

I loved it when the twins were sleeping. It gave me an hour or so of free time. During that time I'd usually sign on to my online course and get my assignments. But since it was so close to finals, I used the quiet to study. My computer classes came so easy to me, yet English did not. It never was a good subject for me. I was terrified of the upcoming final - I was convinced I would fail it. However, when Bella offered to help, I started thinking maybe it wouldn't be as bad as what I thought.

Shortly after Maddy and Masen had fallen asleep, I heard the garage door slam shut, and knew the quiet would be gone in a matter of moments.

"Alice, don't get too crazy. I don't think he knows everything that Tanya said," Rosalie said as she and Alice walked into the living room.

"Hey, how'd it go with Bella?" I asked.

"You're a fucking jerk, you know that?" Alice yelled.

"What?"

"You. Are. A. Fucking. Jerk," she said again.

"Watch your language, Alice." I motioned over to the swings where the twins were asleep.

"They're sleeping, Edward, and don't tell me what to do!"

"What the he - heck is your problem today?" I asked again. I closed my laptop and stood. I would not let her speak like that to me or in front of the twins, even if they were sleeping.

"We ran into Tanya, that's what. You'll never believe what she was telling her sisters. How could you pick that slut over Bella?"

Tanya. Would she ever be out of our lives? I hated that the day Bella agreed to go out for a few hours, Tanya had to ruin it.

"I don't know what I was thinking during that time, Alice. I was so confused, and - "

"Don't give me that! She needed you and you tossed her aside like a piece of garbage."

"It was never my intention to do that. I'm not proud of what I've done, Alice. Not one bit. I look back and can see every mistake I made," I said honestly.

"Is that supposed to make me feel better? Because it doesn't. You have no idea what I went through with Bella. There were so many days she didn't want to leave the house because of the whispers and stares. Do you have any idea what that was like for her? She would be out with Charlie and people would call her a slut as they walked past."

I flinched at her words. "Alice, please I don't - "

"What? You don't want to hear about it? Too bad. I'm done keeping this to myself!"

Masen started crying. I went and took him out of his swing and clutched him to my chest. "Alice, I'm sorry that you had to be the one to take care of Bella when it should have been me. I don't know how many times I need to apologize before you believe me."

Esme and Rosalie walked over then, with Esme taking Masen from me and Rosalie taking Maddy who was starting to fuss in her swing from all the yelling.

"Prom," Alice started again. _Would she ever stop?_ "Do you remember how excited everyone was? Bella wasn't. No one asked her. Lauren asked her before a class one day if they made prom dresses for pregnant whores. She cried for an entire day. Emmett and Jasper offered to take her, but she declined. She knew it would be just as bad or worse if she went. So instead, she stayed home in bed and cried. She wouldn't even talk to Charlie or Rebecca about it. But I think what hurt her the most were the days where she was convinced you were going to show up at the doctor's appointments. I know she called you for each one, because I was there. So tell me, why did it take you so Goddamn long to get your head out of your ass?"

"I'm not discussing this with you, Alice. It's something I need to talk to Bella about."

"You're damn right you do! Of all the things you've done to her, the one thing I don't think she'll ever forgive you for is your abandonment. That's the worse thing, Edward. She's had to deal with that for her entire life. Why did you have to do it, too?"

"What are you talking about?"

"_Renee_, Edward. The few times that Bella really needed her mother, she never showed up. Sound like anyone you know? In my eyes, you're no better than she is. And that's disappointing," Alice said before she turned and headed up to her room.

To say I was stunned would be an understatement. Did Bella really feel like I had abandoned her? Surely she could have seen that I had changed since the twins had arrived? I wasn't perfect, but I was better than what I had been.

But how long would I have to keep apologizing to everyone? Would I constantly be reminded of my mistakes? How could Bella and I move forward if everyone kept throwing it all back in my face?

"Edward," Esme said from behind me. "Will you please get the car seats?"

"Uh, sure. Where are you taking them? Bella should be back soon."

"You're coming with me. Rosalie, do not let Alice leave. Tell her I need to speak with her when I get home. If Carlisle returns have him call my cell."

"Okay, Mom," Rosalie replied.

I quickly put the twins in their snowsuits and into the car seats and followed Esme to the garage. "Where are we going?" I asked again.

"Take your car and follow me. You'll see when we get there."

I hated when she was cryptic like this, but I didn't argue. Once the twins were settled in the back seat, I followed Esme through town. The snow was starting to come down in big flakes. After about a twenty minute drive, she pulled into the driveway of one of our rental homes. It was two stories with creme colored siding. Esme had said it was her favorite since she had completely remodeled the interior of the house. I still had no idea what we were doing here.

"Why don't you take a look around while I get the twins settled," Esme said once we were inside.

"Okay, only if you explain why we're here."

"It's your Christmas present, Edward."

"What is?" I asked confused.

"The house."

"Excuse me?" There was no way they were giving me a house. They couldn't.

"Edward, your father and I know how much you're struggling at the house and in your relationship with Bella. It seems like the two of you never get any time to yourselves with the twins. Am I right?" She walked into the living room and sat on the sofa. Maddy and Masen were asleep in the playpen on the other side of the room.

"Yes." I sat down next to her.

"Your father and I have been talking and thought you deserved this. You've come so far in these last few months, but there's something missing, and I don't think you can get it back staying at the house."

"Yeah, but a house? Why not an apartment?" A house didn't feel right to me.

"Because we want you to have this. Just think of it, Edward. A place all to yourself. A place to watch your beautiful children grow and develop, and maybe a place to redevelop your relationship with Bella," she said taking my hand in hers.

"I don't know where to start. I miss her terribly, but I don't know if she even wants me anymore. There's this awkwardness between us that I don't know how to fix."

"You have to be _honest_, Edward. It's not going to be easy, and there will be tears shed on both parts, but you have to tell her everything and you have to listen to her when she tells you how she feels. The two of you had to grow up so quickly and had so many things happen in the course of a year."

"And you think that this house should be the place we do it?"

"Perhaps. Come on, let me show you around." We stood and walked into the kitchen, followed by a small den. "I kept it pretty simple throughout the house so you can add anything you'd like. I did, however, decorate the nursery. I couldn't help myself, but if you or Bella want to change it, that's perfectly fine."

Esme and I walked upstairs and into the nursery. It was decorated with Winnie the Pooh and felt warm and welcoming. I hoped Bella would love it when she saw it.

"It's perfect."

"Wonderful! The other two rooms are up here as well. The heat, electricity, water and cable have been turned on and working," she began as we walked back downstairs. "They'll be paid through the end of January and then it's your responsibility as well as the garbage bill."

"How much for rent?"

"Don't worry about that. We do have a few conditions, though."

"Okay."

"One, you have to keep your grades up and continue working. And two, don't be a stranger. Dinner twice a week and you must bring the twins. Of course we'll still take them on Thursdays like usual, but we still want to see them."

"I think I can handle that."

"There's plenty of food in the kitchen as well, so that should last you a little while."

"Wait, are you saying you want me to move in _tonight_?"

"Yes. You can come back tomorrow for your clothes and things. The diaper bags are stocked for the night, too." She began putting her coat on.

"I don't know what to say. I mean, you and Carlisle just gave me a house. 'Thank you' doesn't seem enough."

"You're welcome. Please tell Bella she is welcomed here, as well. Like I said, maybe this is what the two of you need."

She gave me a quick kiss on the cheek and left leaving me standing in the doorway of my new home completely speechless.

**BellaPOV**

When I left McGee's, I drove around for a bit to settle down before going home. I had forgotten that Dad and Rebecca were due home today, so I wanted to make something for them since I knew they'd be tired from the drive. However, when I opened the door, my plans instantly changed. There, lying in pieces on the floor, was our artificial Christmas tree that Dad has had since before I was born.

"Crap! You just _had_ to fall today, didn't you? This day couldn't get any worse could it?"

I tossed my bag onto the couch before I started picking up the broken pieces of the tree and decorations. Once everything was picked up, I went into the kitchen and quickly threw together the stew. After I was done, I went back into the living room and heard my phone chirp. I picked it up and saw a text from Dad:

_Roads are bad._

_We may have to pull over into a motel if it stays like this._

_We'll let you know. ~D&R_

The storm must have picked up since I arrived home. I quickly texted him back saying I was going over to the Cullen's and that I would probably end up staying the night. I put the stew in the fridge since we wouldn't be eating it tonight, and then sent a quick text to Edward saying I was on my way. A moment later, my phone rang.

"Hey, we're not home," Edward said.

"Oh. Do you want me to meet you somewhere?" I asked.

"Sure. I'll text you the address."

I wasn't sure how I would be around him now that I had learned what happened with Tanya. I was glad he never slept with her, but if he was always thinking and talking about me then why wasn't he with me? What made Tanya more important than me?

Dad wasn't kidding about the roads getting bad. I wasn't exactly sure where he was between here and Seattle, but I was pretty sure he was getting hit with the same amount of wind, snow and ice that I was. The wind was whipping the snow around so badly that it was difficult to see at times; several cars and trucks were in the ditch, and there were several accidents. I couldn't remember the last time it had snowed this hard. By the time I pulled up to the address Edward had sent me, my mind was made up; I was not going to drive back home with the twins in this crap. I took a few deep breaths to calm myself before getting out of the car.

"I wasn't sure if you were going to make it. You had me worried," Edward said from the doorway.

"Who's house is this?" I asked.

"I'll explain inside."

I took my coat and shoes off and walked with Edward living room. I saw a playpen in the corner and walked over to see them sound asleep. "They look so peaceful."

"Yeah."

"I can't believe how big they've gotten. Masen's already crawling," I said quietly.

"Maddy just about has it. She saw Masen do it and tried, but when she couldn't figure it out, she got frustrated. She gets the same look on her face as you do."

"Really?"

"Yup. Her nose scrunches up and her lips pout. It's cute."

"So who's house is this?" I asked again.

"Mine," Edward said as he sat on the couch.

"What?"

'Shocking, huh? Esme said she and Carlisle were going to give it to me for Christmas. I have to pay the utilities and keep my grades up, but otherwise it's mine."

"Really? That was nice of them."

"I think it also had something to do with the fact that Alice and I have been arguing a lot, and there really isn't any privacy in the house."

"You've been arguing with Alice?" I asked. I knew there was tension between them, but I didn't think it was that bad.

"Yeah. I love my sister, I really do, but I can't keep apologizing to her for what I've done to you. It feels like that's all I'm ever doing with her."

"So I take it she told you about Tanya?" I asked hesitantly.

"She said you guys ran into her, but didn't tell me what was said. Was she mean to you?"

"No, she didn't see us. We were sitting in a booth at McGee's when we heard her talking behind us." I sat across from him on the couch. "She said some...interesting things."

I wasn't sure if I should make the first move with this conversation or wait for him to start it. I wondered if he knew that Tanya had been cheating on him and if he really was thinking about me during that time.

"I bet she did."

"Were... were you really thinking about me all the time?" I quietly asked. I could feel myself starting to shake a little bit.

"Yes. You and the twins. I should have been been with you. I don't know what I was thinking, really, with Tanya. But you should know _I didn't sleep with her_. I just couldn't do it. It felt like I was cheating on you even though we weren't together. I felt so guilty and ashamed when I was with her."

"Well while you were with her, I was drowning, Edward. I felt so alone and the one person I needed by my side wasn't there. _You_ weren't there and that killed me," I said as tears started falling from my eyes.

"I'm so sorry Bella."

"When we were in Seattle at the hospital, I thought that maybe we were starting to head in the right direction, but that day in Target changed everything."

"I know. I don't even know why I got so angry."

"We were arguing about money. Masen was going to be released in the morning and I waned to get some things. You got upset."

Edward shook his head. "I shouldn't have. You just wanted to get something special for him and to be prepared. I didn't realize it then. I didn't understand how much work they would be, but I do now. And I get that I made the biggest mistake of my life by pushing you away. I don't want to anymore."

"You don't?"

"No. I miss you," he whispered and my heart broke. "I miss you so much, Bella."

"I miss you, too, but you really did hurt me, Edward," I said honestly. "I can't just jump back into a relationship with you. I need time to heal."

"I understand."

"But I'm not saying no, either."

"You're not?" he asked.

"No. I just need some time. I think we need to get to know each other again."

"I can do that."

My phone rang then. "Hey, Dad," I answered.

"Hey Bells. Rebecca and I are at a motel because the roads have gotten worse. Are you home?" he asked. He sounded tired, and I could hear Rebecca chatting with someone in the background. She was most likely on her cell phone.

"No, I'm with Edward and the twins."

"Okay. Can you stay there tonight? I don't want you on the roads."

"Yeah, it shouldn't be a problem."

"Okay. We'll be home sometime tomorrow."

"Sounds good. I'm supposed to have class, but if the weather's bad, they may be cancelled. I'll let you know."

"I love ya, kid. Be safe."

"You, too, Dad. Bye." I hung up the phone and looked out the large bay window to see massive amounts of snow falling. "Um, is it okay if I crash on your couch tonight?"

"There's a spare room upstairs next to the nursery. You can stay there. Let me show you." He stood and offered me his hand.

The house was beautiful. Simple, but nice. White walls, light carpet and light hardwood floors. Esme left the walls bare so Edward could decorate however he liked. The one room she completely finished was the nursery. It was stunning. The walls were a pale green with what looked like a hand painted mural on one wall. I couldn't wait to bring Maddy and Masen in here tonight.

"What do you think?" Edward asked.

"I love it. You?"

"I do, too. I need to paint and stuff in the living room, but I think this could be a good house for us."

"Us?" I asked.

"Yeah, maybe one day... if I'm lucky."

"Maybe."

Edward and I spent the rest of the day playing with the twins. We chased Masen around the living room and encouraged Maddy to do the same. She did, at one point, crawl for a bit before she decided she'd rather roll around. It amazed me how vocal the two of them were. Granted, it was nothing more than babbling, but it felt like they were communicating with each other. I could have sworn I heard Maddy say 'Da.' Around seven, we both received emails from our schools saying classes were cancelled for tomorrow, and possibly the next day.

Once the twins were asleep in their cribs, I went back downstairs. Edward was doing the dishes from dinner.

"Want some help?" I asked.

"No, I'm just about done. Are the twins asleep?"

"Yeah. You need a nightlight for them. I left their door open a bit with the hall light on."

"Okay. I'll get one tomorrow."

"If we can actually go outside. Have you seen how much snow has come down?"

"Good point." Edward finished the last of the dishes then joined me at the table.

"You know what else you need?"

"What's that?"

"A tree and decorations. Are you planning on having Christmas here?"

"I haven't even thought about it. But you're right; I do need a tree." He paused for a moment. "Want to get one with me? We could grab something to eat after?"

"Like...a date?" My heart started beating wildly in my chest at the thought of being with Edward alone.

"More like an outing. Our kids deserve to have a real tree for their first Christmas, don't you think?"

"Yeah. Speaking of which, the tree at my house finally died. I came home and it was a broken mess on the floor."

"How'd it fall?" Edward asked. He walked back into the kitchen and pulled out a box of hot cocoa mix.

"Beats me, but I'm not that upset about it. Rebecca said she wanted to get a new one after Christmas, anyway."

As I lay in bed that night, I was confused and hopeful. I was confused on Edward's actions and revelations. If he had been thinking about me and the twins the entire time, why didn't he leave Tanya? What did she actually do for him except make him feel like crap? Why would he want to even deal with that mess? I was also a bit confused as to why part of me wanted to be closer to Edward so soon. I still felt hurt, but I also just wanted to push all that hurt aside and move forward. I was tired of being sad all the time. I was exhausted of the awkwardness between us. I wanted us to be friendly. I wanted to maybe go on an actual date and feel like a normal teenager. I figured this would come in time. I would just need to be patient. Perhaps during our outing, Edward and I could start to mend our wounds and get back to something closely resembling what we once were.


	15. Chapter 15

Thank you to my wonderful pre-readers and beta's: BookishQua, Shadowed by Passion, piperann_25, and KannnD. I would be nothing without these ladies. :)

If you're reviewing on FF - if you have your PM's disabled, I can't reply to you, which makes me sad because then I can't say thank you!

I've donated on behalf of Project Team Beta's Back to School Fundraiser. It's a tough time now, and teachers and students everywhere are being affected. With just a minimum donation of $5.00, you can also play a part in helping a classroom, and in return, receive a compilation of stories written by your fellow fandom authors. For more information, visit the PTB Site. www(dot)projectteambeta(dot)com

****May I ask a favor? Could you all pray for a good friend of mine? Her son, Derek, was injured in Afghanistan on July 23 when he stepped on two IED's (road side bombs). The first one he stepped on after he brought two casualties to safety. You can imagine, I'm sure, how horrific his injuries are, but I'm glad to report (as of July 29) that he's back in the United States and is at Walter Reed Bethesda Naval Hospital. On August 2, he was awarded a Purple Heart. Please pray for his family, as he's only 21 years old and has a very long road ahead of him. He truly is a hero.****

Sorry about the premature posting... that was my bad.

* * *

**BPOV**

Two days.

We were stranded in Edward's home for two days as the snow fell. No distractions - no Alice and her meddling ways, no Tanya drama - just _us._ It felt a little odd at first to be alone with just him and the twins, but eventually the awkwardness between us settled somewhat.

That first night, we stayed up until two in the morning putting everything on the table - all the hurt, all the anger, the fear and anxiety. Everything was out in the open and left us raw and exposed. It was something that we both needed to do, and once it was done, we forgave each other. I was afraid, though, that he would hurt me again. I had forgiven him once before and was hurt again –not by Edward this time, but by Tanya.

Last night, when Edward gave me his word that he was serious, something inside told me he meant it this time and hat he was a different person from what he was back then. And he _was_ a different person. He was more focused and more determined than I had ever seen him_._

When I finally went up to the guest room, I quickly pulled off my jeans and crawled into bed. My head was full of everything that was said while my body was exhausted. I wanted to curl up under the covers and sleep for three days. I was just dozing off when I heard my phone chirp. I grabbed it from the nightstand and noticed I had four missed calls and fifteen texts...all from Alice.

_**Bella! OMG I just heard Edward has his own house! Call me! ~Alice**_

_**Mom just talked with me. She said Edward asked you to go over to the house. R U OK? ~Alice**_

_**Seriously, Bella! Call me! I need to make sure you're okay! ~Alice**_

_**Okay, freaking out here! Why aren't you returning my texts and phone calls? I just want to make sure you're okay! ~Alice**_

_**So, you're probably sleeping, but please text me to let me know you're home and safe. ~Alice**_

I sighed and quickly dialed Alice's number.

"Bella! Oh my God, are you okay?" she yelled into the phone.

I didn't want to wake the kids so I whispered, "Calm down, Alice. I'm fine."

"Tell me everything. Why are you there by yourself with the twins? Has he been mean? Why haven't you called me back until now?"

"Sorry, I was with Edward and the twins."

"I can't even believe you're there. Are you okay?" she asked again.

"I'm fine. What did think would happen, Alice?"

"Well, seeing how he's been a jerk lately -" she said sarcastically before I interrupted her.

"About that, Alice. You really have to back off. We talked about everything tonight, which is why I didn't call you until now, and we're good. Better, really."

She groaned. "Oh, Bella. _Please_ tell me you didn't forgive him again?"

"I did."

"Why? Why would you _do _that?" she yelled.

"Because he's the father of my children, Alice, and it's really none of your business. I love that you're looking out for me, but chill."

"I can't just sit by and watch him hurt you again, Bella. I don't want to see you hurt."

"I don't think I will be this time."

"Uh uh. I've heard that one before."

"Alice -"

"No, Bella. I've worked too hard to help you get over all the times he and Tanya hurt you, and for you to tell me you've just forgiven him...it's like a slap in my face. I realize he's their dad, but how could you do this to _me_?" she asked with a shaky voice.

"Alice, I love you dearly, but what's going on between me and Edward is _our_ business. I love that you've helped me when I've been sad and hurt, I really do. But I _miss_ him. He's my best friend, and you're practically my sister."

"Best friend, huh? It feels like you're tossing me aside, like you don't want me anymore," she whispered.

"Oh, Alice, I don't mean to do that. I wouldn't be here without you. I love you, but I need to take this chance." I wasn't sure if it was the lack of sleep or the exhaustion from our long talk, but I started tearing up. I hated that Alice felt like I was hurting her by giving Edward another chance, but I needed to do this. I needed to give my family another chance. I wanted Maddy and Masen to have their parents under one roof. I just hated that by wanting this, I was hurting Alice.

"I'm just afraid, Bella. I'm afraid that he'll tell you he's changed and string you along until he finds some other whore and leave you again. I don't want to see your heart shatter again."

"You know, if you actually talked to him rather than yell at him, you'd see that he has changed, and it's for the better. I think now that Tanya is gone, the fact that he has a steady job and school, and now this house, it's finally the turning point we both need."

"I don't know if I can forgive him so easily as you have."

"It's okay. I'm not expecting you to. Look, it's really late. How about we meet up for coffee or something once the snow stops falling?" I asked.

"Sure. Get some sleep."

"I will. I love you, girl."

"Love you, too." I wasn't sure what to think after talking with Alice. It was clear she was still angry with Edward, and she seemed generally concerned about my forgiving him. I hoped that with time, she would see that this was a good thing.

I wasn't sure how long I had been asleep before I awoke. I had fallen asleep in nothing but my sweater, and my feet felt like ice, even with my socks on. It took me a minute to figure out where I was. It felt a bit strange to be in the guest room at Edward's house. I pulled the sheet tighter around me when I felt goosebumps on my skin. It was then that I realized how cold it was. I turned and looked out the window and saw that it was still snowing. Not as hard as it was earlier, but it was still coming down.

_It's gonna suck driving home in the morning,_ I thought.

But it wasn't morning yet. I sighed heavily knowing in a few short hours the twins would be up. My muscles were so tight and tense from the heaviness of our conversation and the lack of sleep. I sat up and pulled the blanket that was at the end of the bed up to my chin. I gasped a bit

at the sudden burst of cold air.

_Please tell me the heat is still working!_

I knew the thin blanket and sheet wouldn't be enough to keep warm, so I decided to go look for something warmer. I climbed out of bed and shook violently for a moment when my feet hit the freezing cold hardwood floor. I grabbed my cell phone to use as a flashlight since I didn't want to turn on a light and wake anyone. I quickly walked over the the vent on the floor to check to see if it was open. It was, which was good, but it was barely blowing warm air. Edward would have to mention this to Esme.

Since I was up, I made my way into the twins' room. The first thing I noticed was that it was warm in their room, making me breathe a quiet sigh of relief. I crept over to them and placed a hand on their chests. Once I was content that they were okay, I made my way back into the hall and to the closet across from Edward's room. I opened the door as quietly as I could and began searching for a blanket.

"Bella," I heard Edward whisper behind me a few moments later. He was pressed behind me - so close, in fact, that I could feel his soft flannel sleep pants against my bare legs.

I gasped and ended up dropping a few of the towels on the floor as I spun around to face him. "You scared me! Did I wake you up?"

"No, I was just going to check on the twins. What are you looking for?"

"A blanket. It's cold in my room."

"Is it? I'm sorry." He pulled me against him and started rubbing my back. "You _are_ cold!" I shivered, but I wasn't sure if it was because I was cold or if it was because I was this close to him. I had the overwhelming desire to run my nose along the stubble growing on his chin. "You can come sleep with me...if you'd like? It's warm in there."

"I don't -"

"Do you really think I'll be able to sleep knowing you're uncomfortable? I'll behave, I promise."

My mind and my body were waging war between each other. My mind was screaming, _'No, run away. It's too soon to do something like this.' _My body was the complete opposite. It was craving his arms and his warmth, and I really didn't want to go back to my freezing cold room and bed. In the end, my body won. I didn't care that I was only in my top and panties. He had seen me in far less before. "Okay."

"Let me go look at the vent in that room real quick. I'll be right back." The moment Edward pulled away from me, I longed to have him back. I missed being this close to him.

"I'm not too sure why it's cold," Edward said as he walked back to me.

"It's okay. We can figure it out in the morning, or something."

We walked back into Edward's room, and I stopped at the foot of the bed. The last time I shared a bed with Edward it was graduation, the day our twins were born.

"I meant what I said. I'll behave. I'll even sleep on the floor if you'd like."

"No, that's okay." I noticed the right side of his bed was untouched. It made me wonder if he remembered that was my side.

"Why don't you take the left? It'll be warmer."

"Thanks."

I quickly crawled into bed - on the left side because he was right, it was warmer - and threw the covers over me. I could smell him on the sheets, and I inhaled deeply before he crawled in next to me. The soft flannel sheets and the thick, fluffy down comforter started to warm me almost instantly. Without thinking, I curled into him, placing my head on his shoulder. My hand rested on his chest and started making small patterns.

_You're moving too fast, Bella. You need to take this slowly. Look what happened the last time you forgave him so easily,_ I heard Alice say in my mind. This was going to be something we'd have to talk about.

I shivered for a moment, as my body adjusted to the warmth. "Do you have enough blankets? Are you warm enough?" Edward asked quietly.

"Yeah. I love it how Esme knows to have like five blankets on your bed in the winter. No wonder I didn't find any, they're all here!" I teased.

"You know me; I need to be warm. Night, Bella." He sighed heavily, and I knew he was already asleep.

I lay there for a bit, just listening to him breathe as he slept. I missed this, and I wanted it again. I knew we'd get back here, and it would be better than it was before. I would just need to be patient and trust him. My eyes began to droop, but before they closed completely, I quickly placed a kiss on his chest.

"Mmm. My Bella."

I woke the next morning warm, but not overly hot. Edward was pressed against me from behind, his strong arms wrapped around me. I could feel his breath on my neck causing me to shiver. I felt incredibly comfortable lying here engulfed in him. I felt more rested than I had in a long time. I didn't know what today would bring, but I hoped it would be the start of something new, something better than what it had been before. I sighed and closed my eyes, not wanting to start the day just yet. Edward's arms tightened around me, and for the first time, in a very long time, I felt a sense of peace.

A short while later, I awoke again to the sounds of Maddy and Masen drifting in from the baby monitor on Edward's side of the bed. They were babbling away about something only the two of them knew. I rubbed my eyes and went to sit up, but Edward stopped me, pulling me tighter to him.

"Not yet," he said quietly. "They're not crying yet."

I chuckled knowing they would be soon. "Morning."

"Morning. Did you sleep okay?"

"I did. Better than okay, actually. You?"

"Same. I'm glad you said yes."

"Me, too. I was so cold in that room! I'm stealing a blanket or two tonight, if I'm here," I said as I sat up and stretched.

"I hope you'll be here tonight."

"You do?" I asked.

"Yes. I like having you here. It feels like more than a house with you here."

"That's a nice thing to hear. You need to tell Esme about the heat, though."

"I will. I need to go back home and get my clothes and stuff, so I'll talk to her about it then."

Edward and I quickly dressed and met in front of the nursery to get the twins ready. It was a little surreal walking into their room with Edward - it was something I've wanted since before they were born. We walked into their room and went about the usual tasks of changing and dressing them. Once that was done, we brought them downstairs for breakfast.

"Can you keep them busy while I get breakfast together?" I asked.

"Sure. The pantry's pretty full. Esme must have just stocked it."

"Almost like she knew you were coming or something," I replied.

Esme had almost thought of everything. The pantry, cupboards and refrigerator were completely stocked but missing a few of the things I knew Edward liked. It was almost as if she knew Edward would be living here so soon. I grabbed a jar of oatmeal and applesauce and walked into the dining room.

"Edward, can you bring them in here? I'll make something for us after they're done eating."

"Sure," he said picking them up. "I wanted to ask you if you were okay. Last night was kind of... heavy." He placed Maddy in her chair followed by Masen. I looked over my shoulder and saw that he had pulled a chair in front of them. He was tickling them with a stuffed animal and giggling with them. I loved seeing him acting silly with the twins.

"Yes, I'm fine. What's done is done. Let's just move forward. Can you grab some juice from the fridge?"

"Agreed." He smiled and look relieved.

"Edward, are you going to talk with Alice about your argument?" I asked softly.

"I haven't decided yet," he said as he pulled a small juice bottle from the fridge. "I know I should, but I think I may wait until after Carlisle and Esme talk to her."

"She loves you very much, you know, so don't be too hard on her."

His body went tense as he said, "She has to understand what happens between you and me is _our_ business. I get that she's just looking out for us, but she has a tendency of making situations worse before they get better."

"If you don't feel comfortable, I can talk to her," I offered.

"No, I'll do it, but thank you. I should get out and start shoveling and see how bad the roads are."

"Um, considering how hard it's still coming down, I'd say the roads are bad," I said pointing toward the sliding glass patio door. I figured there was a deck, but you couldn't see it due to the falling snow.

"Oh wow, you're right."

The rest of the morning was spent in the living room with the twins. Masen took a few wobbly steps, while Maddy crawled a bit. Edward and I cheered and gave her sloppy kisses on her cheeks. We probably looked incredibly silly, but I didn't care. Around noon, the twins became sleepy, so Edward decided to put them down so I could make some lunch. As I was opening a can of soup, my phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Merry Christmas, my beautiful daughter!" Renee shouted into the phone.

_Crap._

"Uh, Christmas isn't for another week, Renee."

"I know, but I'm in a festive mood and thought I'd call. So tell me, how are you?" she slurred.

"Are you drunk?"

"I am not drunk! I'm enjoying an early cocktail. Answer my question."

I sighed knowing it would be a lost cause if I argued with her about drinking. "I'm fine. School's good. Maddy and Masen are craw -"

"Oh!" she interrupted. "I meant to tell you! I'm having a _huge_ New Year's party at our new condo in Manhattan, and I really want you to come out."

"I can't afford to come out to New York on such short notice. Plus, I would need to get an extra ticket so one of the twins can -"

"No, no. _Just you_. There are a couple of very nice looking boys I'd like you to meet. One of them is Phil's teammate, and he is _yummie_. The muscles on Jameson are to _die_ for. I swear it's like he's photoshopped or something."

"Are you for real?" I practically yelled. I noticed Edward had walked into the kitchen with a concerned look on his face. "I have kids, Renee, and responsibilities. I can't just walk away from it like _you_ did."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"I know the reason you left. The _real_ reason." Renee was silent for a few minutes. My heart was racing with anger.

"Are you okay?" Edward mouthed to me. I nodded. Edward walked over to me and took my hand in his. He squeezed it gently and began running his thumb over my knuckles.

"What do you want me to say?" she asked. I was a bit shocked when she didn't start denying it or telling me a different version of what happened like most people would have. Then again, I didn't expect her to do that, either.

"That you're _sorry_! That you wanted me! That you're not ashamed that I have kids!"

"So you'd rather I lie? Would that make you feel better, Miss Drama Queen?"

"Why are you like this? I have two beautiful children. I work my ass off with a full time job and go to college. I'm trying to make something with myself. Dad is proud of me. Why can't you be?"

"Your father walks around with blinders on, and you're doing the same thing."

"How would you know? You're never here."

"I'm not arguing with you about this," she said angrily, like everything that was wrong was my fault. "I called to ask you to come to New York for New Year's. Phil is having a few teammates over as well as some neighbors, and like I said, there's a few young men I want you to meet."

"And how will you introduce me? Wait, let me guess. You haven't told them about Maddy and Masen, have you? Too afraid they'd make you look _old_?"

"Hang up, Bella," Edward whispered. "She's not worth it." He pulled me to him and started lightly rubbing my back to calm me down.

"Why would I do that? I still stand by my desire for you to put them up for adoption. You'd be in a much happier place in your life," Renee said.

"I _am_ happy, Renee!" I shouted. "Maddy and Masen are the best thing that's happened to me. Since you can't accept me for who I am, and until you can accept Mad and Mas as your grandchildren, don't call me again. I'm _done _with you. Stay away from me and my kids." I quickly erased Renee's phone number, email and address, slammed my phone shut and threw it on the counter. My cheeks were moist with hot, angry tears. Edward immediately wrapped his arms around me.

"Wanna talk about it?" Edward asked softly. I shook my head and continued to cry. "Let's go into the living room, okay?" Edward led us into the living room and we sat on the couch. He kept his arms tightly around me until I calmed down.

"Sorry," I said.

"Don't be. What did she want this time?"

"She wants me to come to New York for New Year's without the twins so she can try to set me up with someone. I shouldn't have answered the phone."

"You can go if you want, you know," Edward said hesitantly.

"What?"

"If you wanted to go, you could."

"Wait, why would I want to go?" I was confused.

"I don't know. Meet new people? Guys, perhaps?"

"Edward," I said confidently, "I don't want to go to New York. I don't want to meet some random guy Renee has decided is perfect for me. I want to be here, with _you _and our babies."

"Even after everything?"

"Yes, because I know the future holds good things for us. I don't want to be anywhere else," I said as I snuggled into him.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure," I replied as I wiped the tears from my cheeks.

"What did you mean when you said 'I know the real reason?' What did you mean by that?"

I sighed. "Dad told me what really happened between them. It basically comes down to her neglecting me and Dad giving her an ultimatum. She chose to leave rather than stay." My voice sounded so distant and small.

"Neglect?" he asked, surprised. I could hear a hint of worry in his voice.

I nodded and squeezed his hand in assurance. "She left me crying in the play pen while she went outside to sit in the sun. A neighbor called Dad, and he found me. I was really sick with a double ear infection and a fever, and Dad ended up taking me to the ER. When he came back, he asked her to get help, but she didn't want it. She didn't want me so she left."

"Who wouldn't want you?" he asked, and he pulled me tighter against him again.

I hesitated for a minute before saying, "You didn't. You chose to go off and do your own thing, too."

He shook his head, and I felt his fists clench. "I know, and I'm so sorry for leaving you. I never should have done that. I was stupid - so very stupid."

I sat up and moved to the other end of the couch. "I just don't understand _why_. Why _she_ did it. Why _you_ did it. The only thing I can conclude is that it has to be _me_. I mean, I must have done something -"

"_No_," Edward said sternly, interrupting me. "You are fine. It was _me_, Bella. _I_ walked away when you needed me. It's the worst thing I've ever done, and I will regret that decision for the rest of my life. Renee, on the other hand, chose to walk away, too, but I don't think she sees how much she's missed out on. That will be something _she_will have to live with. One day she'll see what a beautiful and smart woman you have become, and she'll regret not being there. I'm so proud of the way you finally stood up to her."

"You think I'm smart and beautiful?" I felt my cheeks blush.

"Yes. I always have. I wish... I wish I could give you a better answer other than 'I was scared,' but that's all I have. I'd like another chance to show you that I can be the man you deserve." When I looked into his eyes, I saw determination in them. Perhaps he was serious this time.

"Why don't you relax here, and I'll make us lunch," Edward said as he stood. He returned a short while later with grilled ham and cheese sandwiches and tomato soup - my favorite.

The rest of the day was spent watching movies. I also called my dad to make sure he was home and to ask how the roads were. It wasn't a surprise when he told me they were still too slippery to drive on and told me to stay where I was. He also said Mrs. Newton had left a message on our voicemail saying not to worry about the store - she wasn't leaving her home, either. She would call when she was reopening the store. Dad asked if I needed anything from the house, and he even offered to get a few things for Edward. He would drop it off on his way into the station. Even though the roads were bad, he was still needed. I gave him a short list and waited for him to arrive. I was a little nervous how he would react once he found out this house was Edward's. Thankfully, we didn't have to wait long. Just as _Dogma_ ended, the doorbell rang. Edward rose from the couch to answer the door.

"Hey, Chief Swan," Edward said as he opened the door. "Thanks for coming."

Dad quickly stepped in from the cold and placed the two laptop bags, backpacks and an additional duffel bag onto the floor. I stood with Masen in my arms and walked over to him. Masen smiled and started flailing his arms in excitement when he saw Dad. "Well someone's excited to see you," I said.

Dad held his arms out, and I handed him over. "Hey,Buddy. Have you been a good boy?" he asked with a smile. Masen started pulling on his moustache, something he always did when Dad was holding him.

"He has," Edward replied.

"Good boy. Where's your sister?"

"Napping. She started coughing a little bit ago, so we gave her some medicine."

"Keep an eye on her," Dad replied as he handed Masen to Edward. "So, uh, who's house is this?"

"Edward's," I said hesitantly.

"Oh?"

"A gift from my parents. Things were a bit tense at the house."

Dad nodded slowly as he looked around. I could see the questions forming in his head. "Well, I should head back out. Roads should be cleared and safe by tomorrow, but you never know. The news is predicting another inch or so tonight. Call me if you guys need anything else."

"We will. Thanks for doing this, Dad," I said giving him a hug.

"Sure." I kissed him on the cheek before he left.

Edward and I set up our laptops in the living room so we could check our email and school websites. Both of our classes were cancelled for the rest of the week, which eased some of my anxiety. With finals next week, we needed all the class time we could get.

"Do you think you could help me study tonight?" Edward asked.

"Sure. I should get dinner started. What would you like?"

"It doesn't matter. Whatever you make is always good," he said with a smile.

"Okay. Will you check on Maddy, please?"

"Of course."

I threw together a quick dinner of roasted chicken breast with rosemary, instant potatoes and a salad. If I was going to be here again tomorrow, I would have to plan dinner better. I hated instant potatoes, but they did work in a pinch. The only sound made while we ate came from Edward - he was groaning with delight as he ate. I chuckled at him.

"Why are you eating like it's your first meal in a year? I know for a fact Esme feeds you," I teased.

"Yes," he said, wiping his mouth, "and please don't tell her I said this, but yours is so much better. Esme makes some pretty good things, but they're always so heavy and complicated, like the salmon and fennel thing she made the other night. Even Em and Jas think so."

"Well thank you." I stood to gather the dishes, but Edward stopped me.

"I can do this. You made dinner, let me clean."

Once the twins were asleep, Edward and I headed upstairs. I wasn't looking forward to sleeping in the cold guest room, but I knew that as long as I had a warmer blanket, I'd be fine. We walked into his room, and I pulled the the thick quilt from his bed.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"Taking your blanket. I'm not sleeping in that cold room again without something warmer."

"Well... I was kind of hoping... you would stay in here... again," he said, stumbling over his words.

"Edward," I started, "I liked sleeping with you last night, but, don't you think it's a bit fast? I mean, we're not even dating and yet we're sleeping in the same bed."

"It is fast, but it just feels right for us. Why do we need to do things the normal way?"

"We don't, but I don't want to rush it and have it backfire, you know?"

"I don't want that either, but I do know I can't walk away from you again. Please, stay in here tonight - every night," he pleaded, taking my hand in his.

I was torn again. I didn't want to lose everything we had gained. It had taken us so long to get here, and I wasn't about to screw it up. It felt good sleeping next to him, feeling his arms around me, and having that bit of intimacy back. Yet, I didn't want to jump into our new relationship - or whatever we were calling it - with blinders on. We needed to work on things, and we needed to do it slowly.

"Fine, but tomorrow, if I'm here, I'm in the guest room."

We crawled into bed and again, I curled into Edward. He started running his fingers through my hair, and I sighed. "I deleted Renee's number from my phone."

"Good. That woman has no business in your life or our kids' life."

I propped my chin on his chest to look at him. "The weird part is, I'm not sad or hurt that I did it."

"Did you think you would be?" he asked.

"A little bit. She is my mother, after all." I lay my head back on his chest.

Edward snorted in disgust. "She's no mother, Bella. She comes and goes when it's convenient to her, not you. Don't give her another thought." I felt him lean up a bit followed by his lips on the top of my head. They lingered for a moment before he settled back down against his pillow.

By noon the next day, the roads were cleared and declared safe to drive on by my dad. I could tell Edward didn't want the twins and I to leave, but we had to. I needed time to think about everything that had happened. A lot had happened, and I was still processing it.

I pulled into the drive behind Rebecca's car and got out, knowing the moment I walked in the door, Dad would start asking questions about what happened while we were there. I heard Edward's car pull up behind me - he had insisted that he follow me home, just to be sure we made it safely. He helped me bring Maddy and Masen inside.

"Dad, can you take them out of their snowsuits while I walk Edward out?" I asked.

"Sure," he replied from the couch.

I walked Edward back out to his car and leaned against the door. "Thanks... for this weekend. I had a good time."

"Me too," Edward replied. I could hear the sadness in his voice and see it in his eyes.

"When you said you wanted me in your bed last night and every night, what did you mean by that?"

"Exactly that. Whenever you're over, I want you with me. And I want you to know you're welcomed anytime."

"Are you asking me to move in with you?" I asked, surprised.

"Not yet, but should you want to come over, I'd never say no."

"Okay."

"I meant what I said, Bella. I want to show you I can be the man you need me to be." Edward reached out and brushed his thumb along my cheek. I leaned into his touch and closed my eyes.

"I know."

"I don't want you just as a girlfriend. I want you as my _everything_," he pleaded. He gently pulled me against him and wrapped his arms around me.

"I do, too," I said softly looking into his beautiful emerald green eyes.. "Can we just take it a day at a time?"

"I'll do anything you want me to."

He softly kissed the top of my head. I didn't pull away from him. Instead, i rested my head on his chest and just stood there, in his arms, not caring who saw us. I realized then that this definitely was the start of something, and that realization didn't scare me one bit. It felt too good this time, and something told me it was for real this time.


	16. Chapter 16

Thank you to my wonderful pre-readers and beta's: BookishQua, KannnD, Shadowed by Passion, and piperann_25. I would be nothing without these ladies. :)

If you're reviewing on FF - if you have your PM's disabled, I can't reply to you, which makes me sad because then I can't say thank you!

Oh! My fic, _Desperation_, will be participating in the Twitter #readalong on October 14 at 7 pm central time. I hope you'll all come and read with me!

RN4Cullen & Nurseems- ty for the medical info :)

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot of the Twilight Saga are the property of its author. I am in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media. Copyright infringement is not intended, nor will I ever make a dime from this fanfiction.**

**Lots of stuff happening in this chapter. You ready?**

* * *

BPOV

A week had passed since Edward and I were snowed in, and my mind kept thinking back to all that had happened. I still wasn't sure what to make of it, in all honesty. Edward and I were texting each other quite a bit, with the sweetest one coming this morning before my last final of the semester.

_Good luck on your last final. I know you'll do great. Just remember to take it slow and breathe. You know this. ~Edward. PS, Mad and Mas say good luck, Mommy!_

I chuckled and closed my phone. I realized then that today was the first time Edward referred to me as "mommy" like that. My Dad had done it, but never Edward until now. My heart swelled at the realization.

"What's funny?" Alec said as he sat down next to me. He was one of a handful of friends I had made. Turns out, he actually graduated from Forks High two years before us, but was a freshman like I was. The only thing he would say when I asked him about the time since he graduated high school was that he had family drama he had to deal with. I wanted to ask him more, but it seemed like a sensitive topic, so I let it be.

"Just a text from Edward," I replied.

"Things getting better between you two?"

"Yeah, and I'm not sure what to make of it, yet."

Our professor walked in, and an eerie silence fell throughout the room. I was so nervous and anxious about this final - my stomach felt like it had tied itself in multiple knots, my palms were sweating and I was pretty sure I had forgotten everything I had studied. I looked around the room and saw the same worried faces. A few, however, showed no signs of fear.

"Relax," Alec whispered as he twirled his pen between his fingers. He seemed completely unphased. "You're going to do fine. Just take it slow."

"Thanks."

Finals were brutal. A hour and a half later, and with my nerves completely shot, I walked out of my classroom for the last time this semester and made my way to my car. I pulled out my cell phone and turned it on so that I could check in with Edward. I didn't work today, but Dad wanted to meet for a bite to eat once I was done with my test.

"Hey, how'd it go?" Edward asked as he answered.

"Awful. Horrific. I probably failed."

He laughed. "I doubt that. We went over everything yesterday, and you did just fine."

"Yeah, but the minute I had the test in front of me, I choked. Dad's going to kill me if I fail."

"No, he won't. Are you on your way to meet him?"

I threw my backpack in the back seat and got in. "Yep. I'll be over after I'm done."

"Don't rush on our account. Tell Charlie I said hello."

_Did I hear him right? Did he just tell me to say hello to Dad? No, I must be hearing things._ "Okay, I'll see you soon."

"There she is," I heard Dad say as I walked into the restaurant. He kissed me on the cheek, and I gave Rebecca a quick hug.

"Did I keep you long?" I shivered a bit after I took off my coat.

"Not at all."

"How were your finals?" Rebecca asked after we were seated.

"Awful. I'm pretty sure I failed."

"I doubt that. Your first college finals are always the toughest. I felt the same way with mine," Rebecca said.

"Maybe it's just exhaustion talking. I pulled an all-nighter."

"Wait!" Dad said loudly. "You stayed up all night studying, drove all the way to school and then all the way here with no sleep? Do you know how _dangerous_ that is?"

"Yes, Dad, I do. I'm sorry, but I had to cram."

"Why would you do that? You should have asked someone to drive you. And don't think that you're driving back to Edward's. I'll take you. I won't have you put yourself at risk or anyone else on the road." I hated when he got into the over-protective cop mode, but he was right.

"Fine. So tell me, how was Seattle?" I asked, changing the subject. I noticed Rebecca's eyes sparkle as she looked over at Dad. Something was up.

"It was good," Dad replied.

"_Very_ good," Rebecca added with a smile.

"Okay, what aren't you telling me?"

"When we were in Seattle, I asked Rebecca to marry me." Dad took Rebecca's hand in his. A smile graced his face that reached his eyes.

"And I said yes," Rebecca said a bit hesitantly. I could see worry in her eyes - like she wasn't sure if I would be okay with this.

"Actually, I asked you in Vegas, but you didn't believe me," Dad added.

"I thought he was joking because he said it as we walked past a chapel with Elvis. But he made up for it in Seattle. He had the entire room covered in rose petals and candles. It was beautiful."

"Wow. Who knew Dad could be romantic?" I finally said. I wasn't sure what to think at that moment. It had always been me and Dad, and now he was getting married. It wasn't that I didn't like her - I did. She was nice, sweet and made him happy.

"So, are you okay with this?" Dad asked hesitantly.

I paused for a moment. "I know how happy Rebecca makes you, and I know how long you've waited for that happiness."

"I was thinking about a small, spring wedding here in Forks," Rebecca said.

"I'm still thinking Vegas, but I'm pretty sure her brothers would kill me if I did."

"They're tough, but they like you. Even Nate."

"Nate is your brother?" I asked. I tried to sound interested and happy, but deep down, I was hurting. I couldn't figure out why I felt like this - I should be happy for them, excited even, but I wasn't.

"My eldest brother. He's tougher than my dad, so if you can get on his good side, you're good to go. It helps, though, that Nate is also a cop."

Our waiter came and took our orders. I wasn't completely hungry, so I had planned on taking my order back to Edward's house to eat later. Preferably after a nap. We continued to make small talk, mostly about Rebecca's ring and their recent trip to Seattle before Dad decided to start asking heavy questions that I wasn't sure I had the right answers to.

"So, Bella, tell me about Edward's house."

"Well, it's actually Carlisle and Esme's house. It's one of a few that they rent out. There's been some friction between Edward and Alice, so Carlisle and Esme decided to give the house to Edward so he could have a quiet place to spend time with Maddy and Masen," I said.

"They just _gave_ him a house?" Dad asked skeptically.

"Sort of. He has to pay all the utilities and maintain the house, but yeah."

"Are Alice and Edward not getting along?" Rebecca asked.

"It's not that they're not getting along, it's just... she doesn't completely trust him yet, and she is afraid he's going to repeat the past and hurt me."

"You don't believe that?" she asked, curious.

"I don't. He's changed so much recently. He's more hands-on with the twins, he listens to me... his demeanor has changed."

"How hands-on can he be, Bella, if you're constantly over there?" Dad asked.

"He really is, and it's my choice to go over there so much. The twins love it there, and I think it's good for them to see both of us together."

Dad took a long sip of his beer, the entire time his eyes never left mine. I knew he was about to ask something major. "Sleeping arrangements?"

I cringed. "Relax, Dad. Edward and I are not having sex." I think he'd have a heart attack if I told him we were sharing a bed.

"I gotta be honest, Bells, I'm not liking the idea of you being there all the time. You need the separation to have your own life - your own time. You guys used to spend every waking moment together, and look how that turned out."

"I'm not as naive as I was before, Dad. And you can't blame Edward for everything that has happened. I made mistakes, too."

"I know, but I don't want a repeat of me coming home to find you crying on the couch."

"That's not going to happened, I assure you," I replied, frustrated at where this conversation was going.

"Uh, huh," he replied with narrow eyes.

"It's _not_," I insisted.

"And what about work and school?"

"What about them? My grades aren't slipping, and we're both working. Edward has kept his job and has continued to deposit his checks into the twins' account every time he gets paid. He deserves to be able to prove that he's a better parent than what he was."

"I think what your father is worried about is you getting hurt. But not just you, Maddy and Masen, too."

"Edward would _never_ do anything to hurt the twins." I felt offended that she would even suggest such a thing. She barely knew him.

"He said he'd never hurt _you, _and look what happened," Dad countered.

I went to respond, but Rebecca cut me off. "Personally, I think it's great you're working on your relationship, but I would caution you to take it slow. Mistakes are bound to happen, but if you can learn from them and move on, that's the most important thing. You guys are so young, and still very impressionable, and I don't want to see either of you getting hurt."

"But it sounds like Dad isn't going to give him a chance." I felt tears stinging my eyes. I was so angry with this conversation and my father's lack of understanding. He had yet to see Edward with Maddy and Masen, so how could he judge him?

Our waiter returned with our food, and I realized I was no longer hungry. My body was shaking, and I knew if I ate, I wouldn't be able to keep it down. I just wanted to grab my coat and bag and leave.

"It's going to take time for everyone to see the changes in Edward, and until we do, we can only go on what we know of him, and that is a young man who's deeply hurt you in the past. If he has really changed, then that's wonderful, and I wish him nothing but a great future. It's just going to take time for your Dad to really see those changes," she said hopefully.

"Are you actually going to let him prove it, or are you going to make it difficult for him?" I asked. I looked at him and noticed he was sitting straight up in his chair - his shoulders squared, his lips in a tight line. He looked authoritative and a little scary. Just looking at him I knew this wouldn't be an easy thing.

"I'm not going to forgive and forget so easily, Bella. I can't do that. So yeah, it's going to take him a bit longer to earn my trust back." His voice was full of resentment.

"You have to give him that chance, though, Charlie," Rebecca said looking at him.

"I don't have to do _anything_ when it comes to that _boy_," Dad replied. His voice was laced with anger and hatred. I had never heard him speak like that.

"That _boy_, Charlie, is the father of your grandchildren. You're going to have to forgive him sometime." Rebecca placed her hand on his, and Dad let out a sigh.

"We'll see about that."

The rest of our lunch was awkward. Our conversation was strained and I knew this wasn't something that Dad would let go. I was still angry and frustrated with him. Knowing Dad, he'd make it very hard for Edward to earn his trust back. He'd find any and every excuse to make Edward look bad, I was sure of it.

Dad and I barely spoke on the ride over to Edward's. I was so angry at him for not understanding that Edward had changed. I didn't want this to cause a rift between us. On the flip side, I had an overwhelming sadness inside. For whatever reason, I felt like I was losing my father. It was probably juvenile, but that's how I felt.

"You're quiet," Dad said after a bit.

"Yeah."

"Angry with me?"

I sighed. "No," I lied.

"Yes, you are," he said, frustrated. "You have to understand where I'm coming from, Bells."

"So do you. All I'm asking is for you to give him a chance. An _honest_ chance."

"He doesn't deserve it - at least not an easy chance. He's done nothing but cause you a world of hurt. I can't just forget that. What if it was Maddy? Would you just forget that?"

"Yes, because I would trust her."

Dad shook his head. "You're still so naive, Bella."

"I am not!" I yelled. "I may be young, but I'm not stupid."

"I didn't say you were stupid. You're far from it -"

"Then stop making me feel like it! I wouldn't let Maddy and Masen be alone with Edward if I thought he would harm them. He's changed."

"You have blinders on when it comes to him, and you still have him on a damn pedestal. He's not infallible, and he's going to make mistakes."

"I know, and I'm sure I'll make my fair share of them, too, but please, give him a chance to show you," I pleaded.

Dad sighed as he pulled into the driveway of Edward's home. I felt tears stinging my eyes from anger and exhaustion, but I willed them away. "We're talking in circles here, Bells. I'm guessing you're not coming back home tonight?"

"No."

"Alright, then. Rebecca's parents are coming in for New Years. I'd like you to be home during their visit."

"Okay."

I got out of the car and gave Dad a quick hug and waved to Rebecca. I waited for their car to turn the corner before I went inside.

"How'd it go?" Edward asked from the couch. I took one look at him and let my resolve crumble. I collapsed to the floor from the weight of the day - the exhaustion of studying all night, finals, and the anger from my father. Before I knew it, I was wrapped in Edward's arms. "Shh. What happened?"

I couldn't get the words out. I wanted to tell him everything that had happened. Instead, I buried my face in my hands and sobbed. Edward's arms held me tighter as I cried. I heard him whisper something to me a few times, but I was so far gone that I couldn't understand what he was saying.

I wasn't sure how long we stayed on the floor, before I finally calmed down. Edward was rocking me gently and humming.

"That bad, huh?"

"It was awful. Dad blindsided me with questions about the house and us. It felt like nothing I said was right. Where are Mad and Mas?"

"Napping. So what did he ask?" he asked.

"Everything. He wanted to know if we were sleeping together, and he lectured me about being over here all the time." I rubbed my sore eyes. All I felt like doing was climbing the stairs, falling into bed and sleeping... for a very long time.

"He doesn't want you over here?"

"Not when it's your days with the twins. He thinks I'm here because you can't handle them on your own, and he wants me to have my own life. I told him he was wrong and that you've changed, but he doesn't believe me." I looked at him and saw the hurt written across his face and in his eyes. I prayed it wouldn't take Dad long to see the changes in him.

"It's going to be difficult to convince him," Edward said. My eyes started to droop.

"Mmm hmm. I know you will, though," I said, drifting off.

I awoke a while later in Edward's bed. I wasn't sure how long I slept, but I knew from looking out the window that it was evening. It was dark out, and I could see snow falling. I stretched and heard a light gasp at the door.

"Look, Mommy's awake," I heard Edward whisper. I turned and opened my eyes to see Edward holding Maddy in his arms wrapped in her favorite pink blanket. She looked sleepy. "Isn't Mommy pretty?" I sat up and opened my arms for her, but she was perfectly content in his arms. "I was just about to put her down. Masen's already asleep. I'll be back when I'm done."

"Okay." I settle back down into the blankets and closed my eyes. A smile played at my lips at the realization that Edward had taken care of both kids on his own. I knew he could do it, but to actually hear him say he already had Masen in bed with Maddy to follow made me proud. I also realized I had been sleeping for quite a long time.

"Hungry?" Edward asked as he walked in. I must have dozed off again.

"Starving, thank you."

"I made your favorite - grilled cheese and chicken and rice soup."

"And you didn't manage to burn the house down. I'm impressed," I teased.

"Hey now, I only burned the sandwiches that one time, and that was what, two years ago?" he asked as he sat next to me on the bed with the tray of food.

"Something like that, yes." I giggled an sat up. "How long did you let me sleep?"

"A few hours. I checked on you a few times, and you were down for the count. I knew you needed it, so I let you be." Edward hesitated. "You should call your dad, though. He's called a few times."

I groaned. I could just imagine the things going through his mind when Edward answered. "I didn't even hear my phone."

"I kept it downstairs. Eat."

"You didn't make all this for me, did you?" I asked. On the tray were two sandwiches, a glass of milk and a large bowl off soup. There was no way I could eat all of this.

"No. I was waiting to eat with you."

"You're sweet. I was thinking about something earlier. Do you work tomorrow?"

"No. You?"

"No, I took the day off to just relax. But I was thinking that you need a tree."

"A tree?" he asked.

"Yes. It's Christmas, and you need a tree with lights and stockings on the mantel."

"Yeah, I guess I do. It'll be our first Christmas in the house - as a family. Do you want get one tomorrow?" There was excitement in Edward's voice and I couldn't help but smile.

"Yeah, I would. Do you know if you're having Christmas here with the family or over at your parents' house?"

"My parents'. Are you and I exchanging gifts?" he asked, hesitantly.

"Um, no. I'm sorry, but I didn't have extra money for a gift for you or your family. I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I understand."

"I feel bad. They always get me something, but I just couldn't do it this year," I said anxiously. I didn't want them to think badly of me.

Edward gently took my face in his hands before he said, "They'll understand, I promise you. Don't worry about it."

"Please tell me you didn't buy me anything." He didn't answer right away. "Please?"

"I did, and I don't expect or want anything in return. You being here with me is enough of a gift."

"It's not the same thing," I said on the verge of tears. He pulled me closer to him and placed his forehead against mine.

"It is to me," he replied. His voice was almost a whisper. His hands wrapped around mine. "I didn't think I'd ever get you back after all the stupid shit I did. But you're here, next to me, and that's all I've ever wanted, so please don't feel bad about the gift, okay?"

"Okay," I replied reluctantly. I sat with Edward, our foreheads still touching and our hands still holding each other's, completely content. No words were needed. He knew just how to calm me down when I was anxious like this. I could sit like this forever with him. "I'm going to go check in with my dad and the twins, okay?"

"Take your time." He pulled away from me and placed a kiss on my forehead.

I picked up my phone from the tray and walked downstairs and into the living room where I called my house. I wasn't sure how this conversation would go.

"Hello?" Dad answered.

"Hey, Dad. Sorry I didn't answer, I fell asleep."

"It's okay. I wanted to apologize for earlier. I shouldn't have taken my anger out on you."

"I get that you're angry still, Dad, I do, but please, just give him a chance."

"I'll think about it." Well, that was better than nothing. "So, uh, are you coming home tomorrow?"

"Actually, Edward and I are going to get a tree for the house tomorrow, if you would like to watch the twins?" I asked cautiously.

"Sure." Dad's voice went up a notch in excitement. I knew he was missing Maddy and Masen, but I didn't feel bad for staying with Edward. I wanted the four of us to be a true family. "Bring them over anytime tomorrow."

After I was finished talking with Dad, I went back upstairs and crept into the nursery. Masen was sound asleep and softly snoring - he looked adorable. Maddy, however, was awake and sitting up in her crib. I picked her up and held her to me. I breathed in her wonderful scent and noticed how warm she was. I quietly walked out of the nursery and back into Edward's room.

"What is she doing up?" he asked.

"She's warm. I'm going to take a cool bath with her rather than give her Tylenol, okay?"

"Sure. Do you need anything?"

"Not right now, thanks."

I handed Maddy off to Edward so I could get the bath started. Once the tub was filled, and a towel placed on the floor so i wouldn't slip, I went back to get Maddy.

"Sorry," Edward said quietly. Maddy was sound asleep on his chest. I couldn't help but laugh. "I sat down and started humming that Pooh song to her and she passed right out."

"It's okay. I'm just glad she's asleep finally."

"Go enjoy your bath."

I nodded and walked back into the bathroom. I left the door partially open, hoping that Edward and I could talk about tomorrow. I wasn't sure how big he wanted to go with decorations. I quickly stripped out of my clothing and eased into the tub. Even though the water wasn't hot, it still felt wonderful and helped me to relax.

As I soaked, I tried to figure out what to give Carlisle and Esme for Christmas. My bank account was just about empty until payday, and what money I did have, I had to make it last. I couldn't show up to their house with the twins empty handed. It wouldn't look right. _Maybe I could make a few pies for them? I know Esme loves my apple pie. On the other hand, it could look ungrateful if they give me something nice._ It really would have been nice to have known this sooner - at least then I could have planned better.

I just needed this day to be over already. I settled down further into the water and forced myself to relax...

The next morning Edward and I dropped the twins off with Dad and Rebecca. Dad was excited to see them and practically pushed us out of the door.

"So where are we going to get the tree?" I asked.

"Parker Farms. I called them this morning and they still have trees available."

"Oh good. I was afraid we'd get stuck with a Charlie Brown tree."

Edward chucked and pulled up in front of a Starbucks. "Come on. I need coffee." The coffee shop was packed as usual for an early Saturday morning. I saw a few people from school and waved. "Do you want your usual?"

"No, I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. I'm in between paychecks, so I'm good."

I heard Edward mumble something under his breath and he walked up to the counter. "Venti dark roast and a grande peppermint tea."

"Edward," I said.

"Stop it and let me buy you a tea."

"You know, I really hate when you do that," I said, annoyed.

"Sorry, but I didn't want to drink in front of you. Besides, it's only a tea."

"I told you I was fine."

"Sorry. You do know I'm buying everything today, right?"

"Yeah, I figured that out when you said we were going to Parker Farms. They're so expensive."

"Hey, Bella!" I heard a voice say behind us. I turned and saw that it was Alec. He was holding the hand of a little girl, who looked to be about three.

"Hey, Alec."

"Man, that final was brutal."

"I know. Who's this?"

"This is my daughter, Clara. Clara, this is my friend, Bella. Can you say hi?"

"Hi," she said shyly. She was a spitting image of her father and was absolutely adorable.

"Here's your tea," Edward said as he walked over to us.

"Thanks. Alec, this is Edward. Edward, Alec and his daughter, Clara. We have classes together."

"Nice to meet you," Edward replied. Edward bent down to Clara's level. "Hello, there. It looks like your boot is unzipped. Would you like me to fix it?"

"Yes, pwease."

"How old are you?" he asked.

"Dis many," she replied holding up three tiny fingers.

"That's awesome. Gimmie five, little lady." Edward held up his hand, and Clara enthusiastically hit it with hers.

"Oh! Daddy, I have to potty!" Clara said, bouncing on her toes.

"Okay. Call me when you get your schedule. Maybe we'll be lucky and get another class together."

"Sure. Bye, Clara."

"She's cute," Edward said as we walked back to the car.

"She is."

To say the tree farm was busy would be an understatement. There were people everywhere! In the short amount of time it took us to find a parking spot, snow started falling lightly and the temperature dropped about ten degrees. I secretly prayed we'd find a tree quickly.

"So do you want one that's already cut or should we go find one ourselves?" Edward asked.

"Pre-cut. My goodness, it's cold all of the sudden!" I wrapped my hand around Edward's arm as we walked toward the rows of trees. The smell from Edward's cologne was intoxicating.

I was surprised at how many trees there were this close to Christmas. This place still had several rows filled along with what looked like a small forest of trees still standing. Over by the barn was a swing set where a few kids were playing. I knew from prior experience that inside the barn was a hot chocolate stand and the best Rice Krispie treats in town.

"So, how big of a tree do we need?" I asked.

"A big one. Seven feet, maybe?"

"Nice."

Edward and I made our way over to the rows of trees. My hand was still gripping is arm since there were slick spots on the ground, and I had almost slipped a few times. He didn't seem to mind. In the short time we walked from the car to trees, I had seen Edward look over at me with a sly smile on his face. This felt like an awkward first date. I was pretty sure that if we weren't wearing gloves, I would feel his wet palms.

"Can you see Maddy and Masen coming here in a few years?" Edward asked.

"Yeah. They'll love it here in the fall for the apple orchard."

"I can't wait to bring them."

"Me, too."

A few rows in, Edward spotted a large tree that he decided he wanted. It was pretty close to the perfect tree - not too tall, thick and full, and it smelled wonderful. It reminded me of those perfect trees in magazines and post cards.

"Excuse me," Edward said to one of the farm hands that was walking by. "We'd like this one, please."

"Great. I'll bring it up front for you."

Edward and I stepped aside to give the employee enough room to pick up the massive tree. As I took a step, my foot slipped and I lost my balance. The minute I hit the ground, I felt a pain in my ankle and cried out.

"Bella, are you okay?" Edward asked frantically.

"My ankle!"

"Let me call someone with a cart to come and get you. We have a first aid station up by the barn," the worker said. He pulled out a walkie-talkie from his coat and called for someone.

"Edward, help me up, I can walk. I don't want to be brought to first aid in a cart." The thought of it embarrassed me.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"Yes."

Edward held his hands out to mine as I attempted to stand. However, when I went to put weight on my foot, the pain worsened. Before I could protest, Edward had me up in his arms bridal style and walking toward the barn.

"Are you okay?" he softly asked. I could see worry in his eyes.

"Yeah. I feel stupid, though."

"Why?"

"Because I slipped. Everybody was looking at me."

"Only because they were worried."

"Right. Can we just pay and head to Target?" I was anxious to leave. I couldn't handle everyone staring at me. It reminded me of all the stares I got when I was pregnant.

"Can I at least look at your ankle first?" I nodded. Edward gently placed me on a picnic table and bent down to start untying my boot. Another employee joined us and watched as Edward gently started removing my boot. I winced, trying to mask the pain. "Did that hurt?"

"A bit."

"I can grab an ice pack, if you'd like?"

"Just pay. I can hobble to the car."

"You're not going to hobble to the car. I can carry you."

"Or you can pull your car up to the entrance. You can give me either the cash or your card, and I can take care of getting the tree packed while you help your friend to the car," the employee offered.

"Perfect." Edward stood and quickly handed the employee some cash before sprinting off to get the car. By the time he returned, I was fighting back tears. My ankle was killing me.

"Wonderful, thank you, Michael," the employee said. I noticed then that someone had walked over to us with a rather large bag of ice for my ankle.

Michael, who looked no more than ten, bent down and held the ice to my ankle while we waited for Edward to return. "Spraining your ankle sucks in the winter, huh?" he asked.

"Yeah."

"I do it all the time out here. One year I even broke my ankle. Sucks."

_How long does it take to move a car, anyway?_ I appreciated the small talk he was making, but I didn't want anything to do with it. I wanted to get out of here.

"Is that your boyfriend?" Michael asked nodding toward the entrance.

"Yes," I replied. I looked over and saw Edward getting out of the car and securing the tree to the hood. Once he was done, he sprinted back over to me.

"Ready?" he asked.

"Yes. I think I can walk."

"You're not walking until I have Dad look at that ankle."

"Is it that bad?" I asked, worried.

"It's...really swollen."

I took the bag of ice off my ankle and attempted to move my ankle. I could move it a fraction of an inch and the pain was worse when I did it. "Or maybe I won't."

"Let me take you to see my dad, Bella. You have to be in so much pain."

"I'm fine. Lets just finish our errands, and if it still hurts, then I'll see him," I insisted.

"Alright." Edward held me tightly to his chest as he walked back to the car. He then carefully lowered me into the seat. As I pulled my seat belt on, Edward placed the ice pack back on my ankle.

"Okay," Edward began after he got in the car. "I'm not turning on the heat because I don't want to melt your ice."

I turned and looked at Edward. His cheeks were red causing his eyes to shine with worry. I was so overcome with emotion in that moment. Looking at him, I knew he truly had changed for the better. I leaned over the center console and placed my hand on his cheek.

"What?" he asked confused.

I didn't answer him. Instead, I pulled him closer to me and and placed my lips on his. I felt a familiar spark - one that caused my entire body to tingle. I had forgotten how smooth his lips felt against mine. It took him a moment to catch on, but eventually what started off as an awkward, chaste kiss, turned into a long, drawn out, passionate kiss. I had been _craving_ this feeling for so long, and I didn't want it to end.

"Where did that come from?" Edward asked after he pulled away.

"I just felt like it," I said with a smirk.

Our trip to Target was a quick one, even with all of the people doing last minute shopping. We grabbed all the essentials - tree stand, lights, stockings, and decorations - before paying. By the time we got back to the car, I was positive that if I cut my foot off I would be in less pain. It was so bad that even moving my leg a little bit caused the pain to flare.

"Okay, so maybe we should have Carlisle look at this," I said, desperately trying to keep the tears away.

"I already texted him. Once you're settled in the house, everyone will come over to help decorate, if that's alright?"

"Sure. How else are you going to get the tree up?"

"Do you want to ask your Dad and Rebecca over? We could order pizza or something for everyone."

"Lets wait until Carlisle looks at my foot. I don't want Dad to freak out over it."

Edward quickly drove home, and apologized for each bump he hit. Once home, he carried me into the house and gently placed me on the couch before going up stairs to get some pillows. I watched as Edward made a few trips to and from the car bringing in our purchases. The last trip, however, he brought company with him.

"Hey, Bella! How's the foot?" Emmett asked as he helped bring the tree in.

"It's killing me."

"Well then it's a good thing I'm here," Carlisle said. He placed his bag on the floor, knelt next to my feet and removed the ice pack. "Can I cut your sock? it'll be easier to take off that way." I nodded. Carlisle made one small cut at the top of my sock before he ripped it with his hands. "You, my dear, need an x-ray."

"You barely looked at it," I argued.

"I know, but it's quite swollen. I'd bet even money it's broke."

I groaned. This is not how I pictured Christmas. "Can I go after we get the tree up?"

"The sooner the better."

"Okay. I should call Dad and let him know what's going on."

"I'll do it," Edward said.

**EPOV**

I grabbed my cell phone from the side table and went into the kitchen to call Charlie and refill the bag of ice for Bella.

"Hello?" Charlie answered.

"Hey, Charlie, it's Edward," I began. "Was there a certain time you wanted Bella to pick up the kids?"

"No, why?"

"When we were at the tree farm, she slipped and hurt her ankle. My father's here, and he wants her to go in and have an x-ray of it."

"Is it that bad?"

"Dad's convinced she broke it."

Charlie chuckled. "That girl. Okay, well let me know what her doctor says, will you?"

"Sure."

An hour later, Bella, Alice, and I were in a room waiting for Bella's x-rays and CT scan to be read. Bella was somewhere between sleep and awake - the pain medication had finally kicked in. Alice was sitting on the other side of Bella flipping through a magazine.

"How's school going?" I asked.

"Fine," she replied. She didn't even look up from whatever article she was reading.

"Have you sent out your college applications yet?"

"A few."

"Decided on a major?"

"Yes."

"Jesus, are you ever going to talk to me?"

"Are you ever going to apologize to me?" she fired back.

"Apologize? For what?"

She looked up. "_Really?_"

"What do I have to apologize to you for?"

"For what you did to Bella."

"Alice, I've already apologized to you for this and this isn't the time or the place -"

"When _will_ it be?" she asked, interrupting me. "Now that you have your own place, you're hardly ever home, so when are we ever supposed to talk about this?"

"I - " I was interrupted by Dad walking into the room with Charlie behind him. I groaned internally.

"Is she going to be okay?" Alice asked.

"Yes. Edward, can you wake her please?" Dad asked.

"I am awake," Bella mumbled. "So what's the verdict?"

"You have a minor break. We'll splint it until the swelling goes down, and then we'll go in and repair it."

"How?" Charlie asked.

"A metal plate and pins."

"I can still go to work though, right?" Bella asked.

"No. You need to be off your foot until surgery, and then you'll be in a cast. Once you're healed, you'll have therapy to strengthen the muscles back up. So initially, you'll be off your feet."

"I can't do that. I have Maddy and Masen to take care of, school and work. I can't be off my feet that long," she said frantically before she burst into tears.

"We'll figure it out, Bella. We always do," Charlie said as he wrapped her in his arms. "Shh. Calm down, sweetheart."

"You know you and the twins are welcomed at the house, and if need be, I can drive you to your classes. It'll all work out."

"But what about work? I can't sell stuff and stock the floor sitting down."

"We'll talk to Mrs. Newton and see if something can be worked out."

"You don't understand. If I don't work, I can't pay my bills and I'll have no benefits which means I can't have the surgery. And, I can't be off my feet and take care of the twins."

"Sweetie, we're family," Alice said. "And when one of us needs help, we all pitch in."

"But I've already asked too much of all of you."

"There is no such thing as asking for too much help," Alice replied.

"Can you get the splint on so I can go, please?" Dad nodded and left, and I noticed how uncomfortable and anxious she was.

"Bells, why don't you take tonight off and go with Edward? I'll keep the twins tonight, and we can figure everything out tomorrow." Bella and I both looked at each other with a confused look. "What? I may still be upset about some things, but really, how are you going to take care of them right now with a bum foot?"

"He does have a point, Bella," I said.

A few hours later, Bella and I were back home. The family had stayed and together, with Bella drifting in and out of sleep on the couch, we decorated the tree. Once everyone was gone, I carried Bella upstairs and gently placed her in bed. She was asleep again once her head settled on my chest. As I lay there, I realized there were still so many things I needed to fix, my relationship with Alice being my top priority. I said a silent prayer that it would be a quick fix. This wasn't going to be the perfect first Christmas, but I would take what I could get.


	17. Chapter 17

Thank you to my wonderful pre-readers and beta's: BookishQua, KannnD, Shadowed by Passion, and piperann_25. I would be nothing without these ladies. :)

If you're reviewing on FF - if you have your PM's disabled, I can't reply to you, which makes me sad because then I can't say thank you!

**Oh, oh oh! I have the best news about Derek! Someone (anonymously) sent him an engagement ring and Derek proposed! Congratulations Derek & Krystina! I wish you both nothing but many years of happiness.** And! He is now completely off of _**everything**_ - oxygen, feeding tubes, antibiotics. It sounds like he'll be an outpatient and starting PT by Christmas. Climb to Glory, Solider. All the way. To the top! You can do it!

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot of the Twilight Saga are the property of its author. I am in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media. Copyright infringement is not intended, nor will I ever make a dime from this fanfiction.**

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**BPOV**

The day after I broke my ankle, I woke up in such pain that I couldn't move my leg. I reached over to Edward's side of the bed and found it was empty. _Where could he have gone?_

"Oh, you're awake," I heard a familiar voice say from the door.

"Esme?" I asked, still a bit confused. "What are you doing here?"

"Edward called this morning. His boss asked him to come into work and asked if I could come over to help with the twins. Everyone else is downstairs, too."

I sat up a bit and instantly regretted it. The pain took my breath away, and I was forced to lay back down. The throbbing, shooting sensation was too much to handle. "This morning? What time is it?" I asked as I gritted my teeth to try and mask the intensity of it.

"Just after noon. I just put Masen down for his nap. Maddy's still awake. Would you like to come downstairs?" Esme walked in and started tidying up around the room - mainly picking up Edward's clothes that were on the floor.

"Yeah. Could you maybe help me to the bathroom?"

"Of course," she said, lovingly.

Once I was done, she brought me back to bed and helped me change into some clean clothes. I tried to hide the pain I was feeling, but as I went to pull my sweats on, I couldn't mask it any longer. I let my sweats fall to the floor as I lay down on the bed and threw my arm over my eyes as the tears poured down my cheeks.

"Oh, Bella. Honey, I'm sorry. I should have gotten your pain medicine. I'll go get it and be right back."

I nodded. The pain was unbearable. My entire lower leg was throbbing worse now, and I wanted nothing more than to rip the damn thing off. Why did I have to tell Edward to get a tree? If I had just kept my mouth shut, I wouldn't have broken my ankle. This was going to be a miserable winter.

Once I was dressed, Emmett came in, carried me downstairs and placed me gently on the couch. But even that made me wince in pain.

"Did I hurt you?" Emmett asked, concerned.

"No. Every movement hurts. It's not your fault, Em. Has anyone seen my phone? I need to call Mrs. Newton and tell her what happened before my pill kicks in and I pass out again. And where's Maddy?"

"Maddy is with Rose and Alice in the kitchen. I think I saw your cell in there. I'll grab it," Emmett said, a little too eager.

"How's your pain today, Bella?" Carlisle asked.

"About a nine. I can't believe I broke it. I feel like such an idiot."

"Why's that?" he asked again, putting his paper down.

"It was my idea to get a tree. If I would have kept my mouth shut, I wouldn't have broken my ankle. Now I can't work, can't walk and I need surgery. What am I going to do if Mrs. Newton can't cover my shifts and decides to fire me? How am I going to pay my bills?" I asked anxiously. It was a real possibility. I had put her through so much this year - all the extra time off she gave me when I gave birth and now this. I would lose so much if I lost this job, and I wasn't about to let Edward pay for everything.

"I seriously doubt she will, but if she does, then you'll find another job. I wouldn't worry about it until you speak with Mrs. Newton."

Emmett walked back into the living room with my phone in one hand and Maddy in his arms. I quickly grabbed my phone and dialed Newton Outfitters.

"_It's a great day at Newton Outfitters! This is Karen, how can I help you today?" _I loved how bubbly Mrs. Newton always was.

"Hey, Mrs. Newton, it's Bella."

"_Bella! Glad to hear you survived your finals. What's up, dear?"_

"I broke my ankle yesterday."

"_Oh my! How did you do that?"_

"Edward and I went tree shopping, and I took a step back and slipped. I have to call the doctor tomorrow to get an appointment to schedule surgery, and I have to stay off my feet until then at least. I'm really hoping this isn't a huge inconvenience and that you won't fire me," I said quickly.

"_Oh, Bella, what are we going to do with you?" _she asked. I could hear the laugh behind her voice._ "Why don't you call me after you meet with your doctor? Mike is home from school, and if I'm being completely honest, I doubt he's going back."_

"Really? He didn't like it?"

"_He liked it fine. If he put as much effort into studying as he did into the frat parties, they wouldn't have put him on academic probation." _I gasped. _"So like I said, he can cover your shifts until we figure everything out."_

"Thanks, Mrs. Newton. You have no idea how much better I feel about this. I thought for sure you'd fire me." It felt like a huge weight was just lifted off of my shoulders.

"_I'd never fire you, Bella. You're my best employee. Go get some rest and call me after you speak to your doctor."_

"I will. I'll talk to you soon." I closed my phone and exhaled deeply. The weight on my shoulders of not knowing what was going to happy had lifted. I was scared that I would lose my job. So many things would have had to change if I did.

Emmett walked over to me, and I held my arms open for Maddy. I hadn't realized how much I had missed her until I had her in my arms.

"Watch this," Emmett said. "Maddy-girl, gimmie five!" Emmett held out his hand for her. It took a minute, but eventually, she placed her hand in his. It wasn't exactly animated, but it was kind of cute. "Maddy, you're killing me. Where's my enthusiasm?"

"Em, you do realize she's only six months old, right? I seriously doubt she knows what she's doing."

"She's lucky she's cute, or we'd be having serious words," Emmett said defeated.

"At least he hasn't tried to corrupt you with video games, sweet pea," I said as I gave her soft Eskimo kisses.

"Nah, I'm doing that to her brother. Oh, and actually, you should thank me. Alice and Rose wanted to paint her nails."

"Excuse me?" Surely he was mistaken. Maddy was far too young for that.

"Please? We found the cutest shade of pink for her," Rose said as she walked into the living room.

"No. She's a baby and doesn't need nail polish."

"But, it's safe for her. I went online and checked it out," Rose said again.

"_No_. She's too young."

"Can we at least get her ears pierced?" Alice asked. "She'd look so cute with little diamond studs sparkling out of her curly hair."

"Maybe, but she doesn't need actual diamonds!"

Alice stuck her tongue out at me. "You're no fun on painkillers."

Soon there after, I started dozing off. I vaguely remember Esme trying to take Maddy from me so I could sleep, but I wanted her near me. I felt better with her in my arms. The last thing I could recall before sleep took me again was Esme placing a blanket over Maddy and me.

**EPOV**

When I pulled into the driveway, I noticed everyone was still here. I hated that I had to leave Bella when she was injured, and I knew she'd be in pain when she woke, but the store was understaffed today due to the flu that was going around. I was glad that Maddy and Masen hadn't caught it yet.

I parked the car and quickly walked into the house - a rather loud house. I could hear the television on with the surround sound coming from the living room along with my brothers' booming voices. They must have found the new hockey game I had bought. I found my mother in the kitchen, doing dishes.

"Why are you doing dishes?" I asked as I slipped off my coat.

"Because we all had lunch and they needed to be cleaned. Plus, it gives me something to do."

"Where is everyone?"

"Bella is asleep on the couch. Your son, brothers, and father are playing some game in the living room as well. How they haven't managed to wake her up with all that noise is beyond me. Your sisters are upstairs with Maddy going through her clothes. How was work? Are you hungry?"

"No, I'm good. Thanks, though." I felt my phone buzz in my pocket and pulled it out. It was Charlie. "Hey, Charlie."

"How's Bella? I tried calling her phone to check on her, but it went to voicemail."

"She's sleeping."

"Oh. Well, I get off work in a couple hours and was wondering if I could come over to talk about living arrangements and whatnot." This was not going to be a fun night.

"Sure. My family is here, so we'll probably order pizza later for dinner. You and Rebecca are more than welcome."

"Okay. I'll see you in a little while then." I snapped my phone shut and shook my head. What an oddly-calm conversation we had. Usually it's awkward and strained, but this was different. I hoped it would carry over into tonight's conversation.

"Charlie's coming over?" Esme asked.

"Yeah. He wants to talk about living arrangements among other things." I pulled up my sleeves and stood next to Esme as she washed.

"Do you want us to stay?"

"Yeah. I told him you guys were already here. And, depending on what he wants to talk about, I may need you."

"I'm sure he just wants peace of mind about Bella and the twins. I wouldn't worry too much."

"Was she awake at all today?"

"For a little bit. I felt so awful, Edward. I was helping her in your room and didn't even think to give her something for the pain until after she started crying."

"It was a mistake, Mom. I'm sure she's forgotten it." _I knew I shouldn't have gone in this morning._

"I woke her up a few hours ago to give her some more medication. I'm worried that it's not strong enough for her. Poor thing could barely move."

"I'll ask her about it when she's awake again and call her doctor if need be."

"Why don't you go in the other room and relax? I can finish these."

I gave Esme a quick kiss on the cheek before I dried my hands. I walked into the living room and saw Bella starting to stir a bit. Her eyes were fluttering, and she was clutching the blanket tightly to her chest. I quickly grabbed the television remote on the coffee table and turned the sound down.

"Hey!" Jasper protested.

"Oh, calm down. I didn't turn it off, I just turned it down. Bella's resting."

"Bella's awake," she mumbled. I sank to my knees next to where she lay and softly kissed her lips. "Hi."

"Hey."

"Felling okay?"

"For the moment, yes. How was work?"

"Busy. Sorry I wasn't here when you woke up."

"It's fine, Edward. I'm just glad you're home."

"Bella, now that Edward is home, do you mind if I take a look at your ankle?" Carlisle asked.

"Um, okay," Bella replied hesitantly.

"I'll be gentle, I promise."

"Hey, can we compare scars? 'Cuz I have a wicked cool one on my back," Emmett said jumping to his feet.

"What from?" Bella asked.

"It was totally Jas' fault, too." I watched as Emmett started taking off his shirt. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Carlisle start to unwrap the bandages of Bella's splint. I was grateful for Emmett creating a distraction for Bella. "So we were like, ten or something, and Jasper made this awesome skateboard and he wasn't sure if it would work or not so he _made_ me get on it."

"Hold on, I didn't _make_ you, you offered!" Jasper said, pointing at him.

"_Anyway_," Emmett continued as he rolled his eyes, "Jas got a rope and decided that I would stand on the board and he'd pull it with his bike."

"I remember that! And Jasper's right, you did offer to go first," I said.

"Right, but he was the one who said he'd pull it!"

"You guys spent a lot of time being grounded, didn't you?" Bella asked.

"That summer was probably the worst for them because they all lost their bikes, boards and other toys for that little stunt," Carlisle said, chuckling.

"All three of them?" Bella asked.

"Yep. Edward was punished too because he was videotaping it."

"It was pretty cool until Jasper hit a rock. He jumped off his bike and I kept going...until the wheels hit a dip and I flew off and landed on a fallen branch. Check it out. It took fifty stitches to close it." Emmett pulled up his shirt to show Bella the scar on his back.

"Uh, it was thirty five stitches, not fifty," Carlisle said again.

"Fifty," Emmett mouthed.

"Ouch! Carlisle, you have to stop, it hurts too much," Bella cried. I looked over and saw that she was gripping the blanket so tightly that her knuckles were turning white and she had tears rolling down her cheeks.

"Bella, how about I call your doctor and see if he can get you something stronger?" I asked.

"Anything stronger and I get nauseated."

"He can give you something to help that, too."

"Okay."

"You're dad is coming over after work with pizza, but if you're hungry now, I can make you something," I offered.

"No, I'm okay. Just make the pain stop, please," Bella begged.

Carlisle quickly, yet carefully, re-bandaged Bella's ankle then walked into the kitchen to call her doctor. An hour later, I had picked up two new prescriptions which sat on the kitchen table - a stronger pain pill and one to curb her nausea. I hadn't felt this helpless around her in a long time. I was scared to move her or hold her, and truth be told, I was scared of moving in bed at night. I would hate it if I had bumped her ankle while asleep.

A few hours passed and before I knew it, Chief Swan and Rebecca were walking through the front door carrying pizza and drinks. Rebecca had called on the way over and offered to pick them up rather than waiting for them to be delivered. Bella - who had just woken up - and I were sitting on the couch watching Masen and Maddy attempt to crawl on the floor. Mostly, we were laughing at Emmett and Jasper who were trying to show them what to do and looking like dumb asses in the process. The two of them were up on all fours, rocking back and forth while the twins sat and looked at them like they had a second head or something.

"Anyone hungry?" Rebecca said as she walked into the kitchen.

"I'm starving," Bella said next to me.

"I'll go grab a few slices for you."

"No, put the twins in their highchairs. I can come sit at the table and eat while feeding them."

I stood and gently carried Bella into the kitchen and sat her down at the table. I quickly grabbed the jars of food from the fridge and handed them to her before grabbing the twins from the living room.

"You little monsters ready for dinner?" I asked, picking them up.

"Lord knows I am," Emmett said.

"You're always hungry."

"True."

Dinner was interesting. Thankfully, Emmett and Jasper kept the conversation easy - mainly talking about hockey with Charlie and Rebecca. I didn't know she was such a fan. But what really surprised me, and everyone else, was that she actually played on a girls hockey league back home in Minnesota during high school and college. I could see the pride glowing in Charlie's eyes as she spoke about playing.

"Rose, Alice, can you please take the twins upstairs? Emmett, Jasper, take these boxes out to the trash and then join your sisters upstairs. I think the six of us need to talk. Am I right, Charlie?" Mom asked.

"I think I'll go upstairs, too. I haven't seen the nursery yet," Rebecca said. She stood and followed my sisters upstairs.

I felt Bella stiffen next to me. I took her hand in mine and gave her a gentle squeeze. I had no idea what Charlie wanted to talk about and that had kept me a bit nervous all day. Once my siblings were upstairs, the conversation began.

"So," Charlie started, "Bella's been spending quite a bit of time over here. Obviously the most important thing is that her needs and the twins' needs are met, since I'm pretty sure she's going to be out of work for a while. Have you talked to Karen Newton yet?"

"Yes. She is having Mike cover my shifts since he's home for a while, and I'm supposed to call her after I see the surgeon."

"And Bella doesn't have to worry about anything anyway. I can cover the bills and anything she and the twins need." I wrapped my arm around Bella's shoulders and gently pulled her closer to me.

"I think the only help I'll need will be getting to and from classes."

"I can help with that on the days where Edward has actual classes," Esme said, sweetly. "And of course I can help out around here on the days when you're here."

"Esme, I can't ask you to do that. You have Carlisle and everyone else to worry about."

"Actually, I don't think we'll need that much help," I said. "Maybe the first few days after surgery, yes, but it's not like I can't do laundry or cook." Bella giggled next to me. "What? I can do it."

"Uh huh. Soup and mac and cheese."

"What about when the next semester starts? Surely you'll need help on the nights when you work and Bella is alone with the twins," Carlisle added.

"Bella, I know you said you liked spending time over here, but I need to know, is this a permanent move, and what's going on with you and Edward's relationship?" Charlie asked looking directly at me. I wondered if he looked at everyone this way or if it was just me because I suddenly felt intimidated. I knew he was still angry and upset with me about everything that had happened this past year, and I also knew that my answer had to be the right one since he had enough influence over Bella to tell her to return home for good. I couldn't let that happen. I wanted her here with me. Charlie had a good question, though. What _was_ going on with us? Were we back together? Friends? Something in between? I hadn't even thought of asking her and the twins to move in with me officially, either.

"No, Dad, Edward hasn't asked us to move in, but I like it here. It feels right. And why do I have to define what Edward and I are right now?" I had no idea how to answer him since Edward and I hadn't discussed our relationship yet.

"Because I want to know how serious you two are!" he demanded.

"I don't know how serious we are! We're starting over and getting to know each other again." Bella pulled my hand into hers and squeezed it tightly.

"You should have come and talked to me about staying here rather than just doing it."

"True, I should have, but you didn't talk to me before you proposed to Rebecca. The two of you just sprung it on me and expected me to be happy about it...and I am, but..." Bella turned and looked away from everyone and wiped her eyes.

"Carlisle, maybe we should go and let them talk. Edward, come walk us out," Esme said.

I stood and gave Bella a quick kiss on the top of her head and walked my parents to the door. I didn't want to leave, but I knew she needed to talk to Charlie. Once they were gone, I walked back toward the kitchen, but stopped before they could see me. I knew it was wrong to listen, but I didn't want Bella to get too upset.

**BPOV**

"Bella, are you that unhappy that I'm getting married?" Dad asked after Edward and his parents left the room.

"No. I'm happy for you, really. It's just a lot to grasp, that's all."

"What do you mean?"

"It's always been me and you. When the two of you told me yesterday you were getting married, I felt like she was taking you from me, and I can't lose you, too." I still hadn't told Dad about kicking Renee out of my life. I wanted too, but I couldn't bring myself to admit to him that I had done something that awful. And now that Dad was marrying Rebecca, it felt like he was leaving me, too.

"Honey, I'm not leaving you," Dad said. I felt him move closer to me. "But, you're right, I should have talked to you before I asked Rebecca, but I didn't because I know how much you like her and how much she likes you."

"I do like her - a lot. She makes you so happy."

"Does this have anything to do with Renee?" Dad asked cautiously. "Bell, I'm not going to marry Rebecca and forget about you like Renee did. There's no way I could."

"But that's how it feels," I said honestly. "Now that you have her, I feel like I'm non-existent. It's silly, I know, but that's how I felt when you told me."

"I'm sorry I didn't talk to you first, Bella. I really am. A part of me feels like I'm losing you, too. I didn't think you'd be moving this fast with _him_," Dad said as he arched an eyebrow.

"We're not moving fast, Dad. Far from it. But, you should know that he's been the one getting up with the twins so I could sleep or study, and he's been doing that since we started coming over."

"He has?" I nodded. "Hmm. It's getting late, and I'm sure you're wanting to get to bed. How about I carry you upstairs?"

"That would be nice, Dad." Dad carefully lifted me and followed Edward upstairs to our room. "Thanks for the pizza tonight."

"Sure. Are you coming home tomorrow night for Christmas Eve, or is Edward dropping you guys off in the morning?" Dad asked.

"Tomorrow night, and then he'll pick me up Christmas morning on his way over to his parents."

"Alright. Get some sleep, okay?"

"I will."

After everyone was gone, Edward came in with a concerned and hesitant look on his face. Something was up, I just couldn't figure out what it was. Maybe something my dad had said got to him, or maybe he was just worried about me. Whatever it was, I needed him to tell me.

"What's wrong?"

"So, I was thinking maybe I should sleep in the guest room tonight." Edward said cautiously.

"Why?"

"I'm worried I'll hurt you. Last night I barely slept or moved I was so worried."

"What if I slept on your side? That way you won't hurt me," I suggested.

Edward stood there for a minute, his brow pulled together, before he spoke, "That would work. Yeah. I don't know why I didn't think of that."

Edward turned off the overhead light and changed while I scooted over in bed. I took my stronger pain pill and got as comfortable as I could get. I knew one thing - the moment I placed my head on his pillow that he wasn't getting it back. His smell enveloped me, and I tingled all over from it.

"Comfy?" Edward asked. I looked over at him and saw he had a smirk on his face.

"Yup. Hey, did you get your grades yet?" Edward crawled into bed next to me, pulling the flannel covers up to his chin.

"Yeah, mostly B's. You?"

"Same, and a few A's, which surprised me."

"I told you, you've always been smarter than me."

I snorted as sleep started to take me. "Whatever." Edward flipped off the side table light, and placed his head next to mine. I wasn't sure if he said anything after that.

Christmas Eve was magical. I was surprised to see that Dad had replaced our old tree with a new fake one and had it completely decorated. On the mantel were our old stockings with three new ones for Rebecca and the twins. The house smelled wonderful with the scents of sugar cookies and a few pies lingering in the air along with a ham in the oven. The only thing that would have made this perfect would be me in the kitchen helping out. Next year I'll make up for it. Next year both families will celebrate together.

Once dinner was done, we gathered in the living room to open gifts. The twins received some new outfits and a few toys. They were more interested in the wrapping paper and the boxes than the gifts themselves, which made us laugh. Dad even put the two of them in a large box that still had some wrapping paper on it, so it looked like they were a gift - complete with a bow on top of Maddy's head. I snapped a quick picture of it on my phone and sent it to Edward.

"Oh my gosh!" Rebecca exclaimed after opening her first gift from Dad. "Where did you get this? _How_ did you get this?"

"What is it?" I asked.

"It's a signed copy of a book that just came out by my favorite author. How did you manage this?" Rebecca asked flabbergasted. Her eyes were wide and her mouth hung open and she clutched the book in her hands. She was adorable.

"Your brother's wife, Natasha, helped me. She knew you liked the author and was going to the signing so she picked you up a copy and shipped it out to me."

"Remind me to call her tomorrow and thank her. I'm so excited to start reading it." She quickly gave Dad a kiss on the cheek before settling back down to open the rest of her gifts.

The next afternoon, Edward arrived to take me and the twins over to his parents' house for Christmas. Rebecca had been sitting next to me on the couch, nose deep in her book before the doorbell rang, while Dad was out in the garage tinkering with something. The twins were playing in their exersaucers and were being quite vocal with each other. I swore they were carrying on a conversation that only the two of them were privy to.

"Merry Christmas, Edward," Rebecca said as she closed the door behind him.

"You as well." A moment later, Edward was in the living room with us, bent down in front of the twins. "How are my little monsters today? I missed you guys." Maddy and Masen were squealing with delight at the sight of him. He quickly kissed both of them on their heads then came to sit next to me. "How about you? How's the ankle?"

"The new medicine is helping. What time do we have to be at your parents?"

"Whenever we get there. Are their bags upstairs?"

"Yeah."

"I'll can get them for you," Rebecca offered. It was the first time in a good hour that she spoke - she was still engrossed in her book.

"Thanks," I replied, thankful for a few minutes alone with Edward. He lifted his arm and pulled me close to him. Edward smelled delicious - his usual scent of Aramis. I closed my eyes and breathed him in.

"I missed you, too," Edward whispered. He then softly placed a kiss on the top of my head. I smiled.

"Well I would hope so," I joked. I paused for a moment, wondering if I should say what I really wanted or if it was too soon. I decided, then, that I couldn't hide the redeveloping feelings I had for Edward. They hadn't gone away, but had been suppressed deep down inside me. "It feels wrong to sleep in my old bed without you."

"I know. I tossed and turned all night."

"Becs, have you seen... oh, I didn't know you were here," Dad said as he came into the living room. "Leaving already?"

"In a few, yeah."

"Are their snowsuits in the closet?" Edward asked me.

"Yeah."

Ten minutes later, Maddy and Masen were in their snowsuits while Edward helped me get into my coat. I was nervous about Christmas at the Cullen's. I didn't have a gift for any of them, and I was still worried I'd look bad just sitting there. Edward did his best to help control my nerves by telling me it was fine, but it didn't work. Maybe I could take a pain pill when I got there and sleep while they had their Christmas.

"Oh, before I forget, I have something for you," Edward said. He pulled an envelope from his coat pocket and handed it to Charlie, who looked completely surprised.

"What is this?" Dad asked, unsure of what to make of Edward's gift.

"It's nothing major, but I wanted to get you both something," Edward said.

Dad opened the envelope and pulled out a smaller one. Hey eyebrows raised in surprise. "Wow. Thank you."

"Ooh! Porterhouse! I heard they have amazing steaks. Thanks, Edward," Rebecca said.

"You're welcome."

Once we reached Carlisle and Esme's home and the twins were settled in the living room, I asked Edward to take me upstairs, saying my ankle was hurting. He gave me a look that said he knew what I was up to, but he took me up to his old room anyway.

"Are you sure you don't want to come downstairs? You can have the couch," Edward said.

"No. Go downstairs and celebrate with your family."

"But with you up here, the entire family won't be downstairs," Esme said from the doorway. Carlisle was standing next to her.

"Are you sure you won't come down?" Carlisle asked.

"It's not that I don't want to be down there, I just... I don't..."

"I see," Esme said. She and Carlisle walked over to us and sat on the bed by my feet. "I know things are tight, but I really would love it if you were downstairs with us. You're family, Bella, and yes, there is a gift for you under the tree from Carlisle and I, but if you'd rather open it in private, that's okay."

"But, I don't -"

"It doesn't matter if you didn't get us anything. I know you're appreciative. I'd really like to have you with us. However, if your ankle is really sore, of course I'm not going to force you to come because I know you need to rest." Esme was the one person, aside from my dad, that I had a hard time saying no to.

"Okay. Maybe I can sit at the table for a little bit and help with dinner or something?"

Esme's eyes lit up. "I would love that, thank you."

I always enjoyed cooking and baking with Esme - in fact, it was our little tradition to make various breads and cookies for everyone, and once we started it was difficult to keep the boys out of the kitchen. I just wished Alice and Rose enjoyed cooking and baking as much as Esme and I did. But the two of them were more wrapped up in fashion and makeup then recipes.

Once dinner was done, everyone gathered in the living room. The lights were low, the tree was glowing and the fire was burning warm. Maddy was currently sitting in Carlisle's lap - her new favorite place. Masen was half asleep in my arms clutching his stuffed giraffe that Emmett had given him today. Edward was next to me, of course, with his arm around my shoulder.

Gifts were handed out, and I was surprised that I was enjoying myself. As usual tradition, the gifts given today were from Carlisle and Esme, while the gifts they received yesterday were from each other. Emmett made us all laugh at his reaction to new video games and a leather jacket. I swear he's like a grown up thirteen-year-old at times. Jasper received a new laptop and cowboy boots, while Alice was beside herself with new MAC makeup. Rosalie was looking at the book that came with her new photography software, and Edward received a few books.

"Here's one here for Bella," Emmett said as he handed it to me.

"Remember what I said, dear. You can open it upstairs," Esme said as she was putting the contents of her old purse into her new one.

"It's okay. I'll open it here."

"Well hurry up already!" Emmett said impatiently.

As carefully as I could, since Masen was now asleep on my chest, I opened the gift. My eyes went wide when I saw what Carlisle and Esme had given me. "A camera?"

"Edward said you had dropped your old one and it broke. I hope you like it," Carlisle said.

"I do, thank you."

"That's a great point and shoot," Rosalie said.

"Yeah, I've seen these in the store and heard they were good." I stifled a yawn.

**EPOV**

Once Bella was asleep in bed, I decided to go downstairs. Something had been at the forefront of my mind and wouldn't let my brain shut down for the night. I needed to look at my portfolio. I knew I had enough - more than enough actually - to take care of Bella's surgery costs. I didn't want her to have to worry about trying to pay for it herself, because I knew she'd try. Once she figured out how much next semester's books and lab fees would be, coupled with surgery, I was afraid she'd have some sort of breakdown. I wanted to make everything as easy as possible for her so all she had to do was focus on getting better before school started.

"Edward? What are you doing up?" my father asked. He was in his office, also awake, working on his computer.

"Couldn't sleep. You?"

"Same."

"What's on your mind?"

I walked in and took a seat opposite of him. "I was hoping to look at my portfolio to see what I need to do to be able to take care of Bella when she has surgery."

"You really _were_ serious about that," Dad said as he sat back in his chair. "I'm impressed."

"Yeah, I meant it."

"I'm sure she's still on Charlie's insurance, so there will only be a small percentage to pay, and it should be considerably smaller than her hospital bill from Seattle."

"How big was it?" I hesitantly asked.

"You don't want to know. Thankfully, he agreed to let Esme and I pay a portion of those bills. He's a very proud man, Charlie Swan, so you offering to pay Bella's surgery expenses and follow up care should be an interesting sell."

"And I assume Renee didn't help out?"

"Do you honestly think that woman cares for anything other than herself? Of _course _she didn't help Charlie with anything."

"What a piece of work."

"I want to show you something." Dad clicked on something and then turned the monitor of his computer around so I could see what he was looking at. There on the screen was a family picture. "That was exactly one year ago. Do you want to know what I see?" I nodded. "I see a somewhat happy family."

"Somewhat?"

"Yes. The mother is smiling, but it doesn't reach her eyes. The oldest son cannot look the photographer in the eye and the youngest daughter has a touch of depression in her face." Dad clicked again, and a new picture appeared. "Same family, this year. The changes are astounding. Most of all, the changes in _you_ are astounding."

"What do you mean?"

"Well let's see. Last year you were withdrawn, confused, and incredibly moody. This year, you're working, in college, have your own place, working on your relationship with Bella and being a good father to your children. I'm not exactly sure when things finally clicked for you, but I'm glad they did. You're making your mother and I very proud." I couldn't tell you the last time my father spoke those words to me. I nodded and looked away for a moment, blinking back a few tears that sprung to my eyes. I've wanted him to say those words to me for so long, but I knew that if he had then, I wouldn't have believe him.

"I'm just worried I'll make a mistake."

"I have no doubt you'll make a mistake, but who doesn't? No one's perfect, Edward, but I don't think you'll make the same _kind_ of mistakes you have in the past. I think you've finally realized just how much you have to lose."

I nodded. "I have. I can't imagine my life without the three of them. I mean, not having them at the house yesterday... I didn't know what to do with myself. It was too quiet. I missed not hearing Masen's loud voice and not having Maddy cuddling under my chin. I can't lose that."

"And Bella?" Dad asked curiously. His hands were folded in his lap and his eyes were narrowed.

"I don't know what I'd do without her." I was unable to put in words how I felt at the thought of Bella leaving me. Just thinking about it made my heart constrict. "I've seen what I've missed, and I know the hurt I caused. I can't get back the moments I missed when she was pregnant. I can't undo any of that, but I do know that I'm going to do anything and everything I can to keep her."

"Have you told her that?" Dad asked.

"No. I'm terrified about what she'll say. What if I'm completely off base, and she doesn't feel the same?" I asked nervously.

"You need to be honest and really listen to her when she tells you how she feels. But, I'm pretty sure she feels the same way. I can see it in the way the both of you look at each other." Dad yawned and looked at the clock on the wall. "Now, go to bed. We'll look at numbers tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay. Thanks, Dad."

On my way back upstairs, I realized my father was right. I needed to be honest with Bella. I needed to tell her that she and the twins were my entire world, and that I wanted nothing more than to have her next to me until we were both old and grey. I would spend every minute of every day proving that to her.


	18. Chapter 18

Thank you to my wonderful pre-readers and beta's: BookishQua, KannnD, Shadowed by Passion, and piperann_25. I would be nothing without these ladies. :)

If you're reviewing on FF - if you have your PM's disabled, I can't reply to you, which makes me sad because then I can't say thank you!

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot of the Twilight Saga are the property of its author. I am in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media. Copyright infringement is not intended, nor will I ever make a dime from this fanfiction.**

***The gift from the twins can be found http:/ i304(dot)photobucket(dot)com/ albums/nn166/ sweetishbubble/Chap13christmasgift(dot)jpg.***

***Edward's gift can be found http:/ i304(dot)photobucket(dot)com/ albums/nn166/ sweetishbubble/Chapter17gift-fromtwins(dot)jpg ***

A shorter chapter, but they're needed every now and then, right?

**BellaPOV**

I awoke the next morning feeling better than I had since I broke my ankle. The pain was still there, but it wasn't as bad...at least at the moment. Edward was next to me, still asleep. It was still early; hardly any light was creeping through the blinds. It was then that I wished I didn't have a broken ankle because I wanted nothing more than to walk into the nursery and watch my babies sleep. It was something I did when I couldn't sleep. Sometimes, if one of them was awake, I'd sit with them in the rocking chair holding them close to me. Those were my favorite times.

"Why are you awake?" Edward mumbled in his sleep.

"How'd you know?"

"I felt the bed move. Are you okay?"

"Mm hmm. Couldn't sleep," I said softly.

"Do you need a pain pill?"

"No, not yet. I'm sorry I woke you."

"Don't be." Edward sat up, yawned and rubbed his eyes. "Do you want to stay here today or go back to the house?"

"It doesn't matter. I know you haven't gotten to see a lot of your siblings lately because of me and my ankle." I hated that my accident was keeping him away from his brothers and knew it would be a while before I didn't have to depend on him for everything.

In the few days since I broke my ankle, things between us had gone from awkward to what felt like normal for us. Edward had done everything ranging from carrying me to and from bed to helping me in the bath tub. He even attempted to make macaroni and cheese for lunch one day. His noodles weren't completely cooked, and he burnt the cheese a little bit, but I didn't say anything. I just smiled and told him it was good. The biggest thing was him taking care of Maddy and Masen for me. He did everything - changed them, fed them, cleaned them, and understood when I needed to just hold them when I felt like I was slacking on my share of the duties.

After spending the majority of the day at the Cullen's, Edward and I, along with the twins, returned home. Once we were settled in the living room, Edward flipped on the tree and some soft music. Maddy and Masen were content in their exersaucers and were chatting up a storm. Outside I watched as the streetlights made the falling slow sparkle.

"Should we give Mama her gifts now?" I heard Edward whisper to the twins.

"What gifts?"

"Come on. You didn't honestly think we'd let you get by with nothing."

"I told you -"

"Yeah, I know what you said, but obviously we didn't listen, did we?"

Edward pulled the twins closer and handed me a small box with a tag that said "To Mommy. Love Maddy and Masen." I smiled and began to carefully remove the wrapping paper. Inside the box, was an elegant silver pendant.

"It's beautiful," I said pulling it out of the box.

"It's a Mothers Love for Two pendant - something different since we have twins instead of just one."

"When did you have time to find this?" I was stunned that he not only found time to go out and do some shopping, but that he chose this type of pendant. It wasn't something I thought he'd ever do.

"I have my ways," Edward said with a sly smile.

"Sneaky. Will you put it on?"

"Of course." Edward took the necklace from me so I could pull my hair aside. Once it was on, he softly kissed my neck, causing goose bumps to appear. He then handed me a larger box. "Now open this one."

"Edward, the necklace is enough," I protested.

"Just open it, please?"

I nodded and again took my time removing the wrapping. I was nervous. What else could Edward possibly get me? He already knew how I felt about gifts this year, and here he was giving me two. But what really made my stomach tie itself in a knot was the fact that I hadn't gotten him anything. This Christmas felt so one-sided and I secretly wondered if he was expecting me to pull out a surprise gift from the nightstand. As soon as I had extra money, I would get him something to make up for it. _Maybe he got me a pair of earrings?_ I opened the box and gasped.

"How... when... how?" I was so shocked at the gift before me that I couldn't form the words I needed to ask him how he knew about this.

"Surprised?" I nodded, still unable to form words. "I saw you at the mall on Valentine's Day before the twins were born. You were standing outside of a jewelry store looking at something. You must have been standing there a good twenty minutes before you walked away. You made it a few steps before you sat on a bench and started crying."

"You...you saw me?" I asked.

"Yes. I was on the second level looking down into the courtyard, so you didn't see me, but I couldn't take my eyes off of you. I didn't understand what you were looking at that made you cry until I went to look for myself. The minute I saw it, I knew. But I have to be honest; at first I didn't understand why you would want it. Why would you want to wear a piece of jewelry that would remind you of an epic mistake."

"Edward!" I gasped.

"I don't feel that way now. Far from it, but back then I did. For a while I couldn't even walk near that store because of what was in the window. I just didn't get it," Edward said as he shook his head.

"It wasn't to remind me -"

"Can I finish, please?" he asked with his eyebrows raised. I nodded and motioned for him to continue. "About two months ago, on a complete whim, I walked past that store again and in the window was that same bracelet. And this time when I looked at it, I got it. I understood why you cried. It wasn't a symbol of an epic failure, but a symbol of an epic blessing. How could you not look at the two of them and think otherwise?"

_Finally!_ I thought. _He's finally getting it._

"They are, Edward. They are such a blessing," I said through my tears.

"So when I saw that bracelet, I knew you needed to have it - to remind you of them when you're away from them; to remind you how strong you are; to remind you how _loved_ you are. I know I haven't shown it in the best ways, but I can't imagine anyone else being the mother of my children. They're beautiful and smart just like you, and I couldn't have wanted anything more than that."

"Oh, Edward. You don't know how long I've waited to hear you say that," I said as tears spilled over.

"I know I haven't completely earned your forgiveness, but I hope you've seen that I've been trying to." I could see and hear the hesitation behind his words, but more than that, I knew he was being completely honest and sincere with me, and that meant more to me than anything.

I nodded. "I have. You've been so wonderful these past few days."

Maddy and Masen chose that moment to remind us they were in the same room with them by crying. Edward jumped up and gathered both of them in his arms and sat back down on the couch. I took Masen into my arms and kissed his cheek. He tucked his head under my chin and settled down.

"I think Mommy liked her presents," Edward whispered to Maddy.

"No, I loved them. Thank you."

As I sat on the couch with Edward and the twins, I realized that what I was feeling was something I hadn't felt in a long time - happiness. Pure, genuine, happiness. I've waited so long to feel like this, that I almost thought it wasn't real - but it was. Edward was next to me and the twins are happy and healthy. What more could I ask for?


	19. Chapter 19

Thank you to my wonderful pre-readers and beta's: BookishQua, KannnD, Shadowed by Passion, and piperann_25. I would be nothing without these ladies. :)

If you're reviewing on FF - if you have your PM's disabled, I can't reply to you, which makes me sad because then I can't say thank you!

***Don't forget there's a poll on my fanfic page - which fic would you like me to repost? There's been a few PM's asking for copies or when they'll be back. I can't decide on my own which one to do next (although I'm a little partial to Bound and Finding the Way Back, but both need a bit of work) so I'll leave that decision to you. Go vote and tell me which one you want!***

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot of the Twilight Saga are the property of its author. I am in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media. Copyright infringement is not intended, nor will I ever make a dime from this fanfiction.**

* * *

**EdwardPOV**

_Holy shit, the mall is packed today,_ I thought as I worked my way through the massive crowd of people. I had no idea what was going on, but I swore this was worse than Black Friday. The only reason I was here was because I wanted to check out Macy's for some clothes that were on sale, along with a few other things. I met up with my brothers in the food court. It didn't take me long to spot them - they were sitting at the table closest to Victoria's Secret. Typical.

"It's about time," Emmett whined.

"Shut it. It took me thirty minutes to find a damn parking spot. You're lucky I didn't bring the twins."

"They at home with Bella?" Jasper asked.

"Mom has them since Bella and Charlie are meeting with the surgeon. So why are you guys here?"

"Rosalie's being a pain in the ass," Emmett said.

"Alice is reorganizing her closet, and I hate how fucking pissy she gets when she does that," Jasper replied. I stole a few fries off of Jasper's tray. "Hot damn, look at that." He let out a soft whistle and sat up straighter. "Oh fuck me, she's wearing cowboy boots."

I followed his gaze and saw a tall brunette standing outside Victoria's Secret with a few other girls that I assumed were her friends. They appeared to be our age, maybe a year or two younger. My brothers were practically drooling.

"Damn. The blonde's hot. Wonder if she's a natural," Emmett said. His eyes were roaming the tall blonde.

"No way. I can see some darker roots trying to poke through. The red head is a natural though," Jasper said. The girls looked in our direction, and I saw Jasper wave, which caused them to giggle.

"Wonder if the blonde's tits are real? I bet they'd fit nicely in my hands," Emmett said again as he looked at his hands. Perv.

"What the hell?" I asked. "How are you guys even looking at them when you have Alice and Rose at home?"

"What's wrong with looking?" Emmett asked.

I snorted and rolled my eyes. "I'm pretty sure that flexing your muscles and showing off your dimples is more than looking."

"Hey, ladies," Emmett called. He then tilted his head to the side, winked, and smiled showing off his trademark dimples. Two of the girls waived and said hello back, clearly interested in us. I wasn't, though.

I shook my head. "You two are going to get in trouble."

"Why's that?" Jasper asked.

"Bella would kick my ass six ways from Sunday if she caught me flirting."

"It's not like you're getting numbers or anything," Emmett said. "There's no harm in looking. Pretty sure Bella does it."

"I know Alice does." I shook my head in disbelief. These two were insane. Certifiably insane. "What? Don't tell me you haven't looked?"

"Nope."

"No?" Emmett asked. "I don't believe you."

"You've never looked at another woman?" Jasper asked.

I shook my head "Not since I've gotten back with Bella." Emmett and Jasper both shot me a look of disbelief. "I'm serious. I've fucked up my relationship with Bella before, and I'm not about to do it again."

"So what you're saying is those girls...damn she's got a nice ass," Emmett said getting off track. I rolled my eyes. "Those girls did absolutely nothing for you?"

"Nope."

"That's pathetic. How can you even say you're a man?" Jasper asked. "Everyone looks, Edward, and for you to say that you don't is bullshit."

"Either that or your _really, really_ pussy whipped, which is a shame."

"Look at that one," Jasper said nodding to another girl who walked passed our table. "Nice face, decent chest, small waist. None of that is appealing to you?"

"She's pretty, yes, but I'm not about to sit here and fantasize about her like the two of you are doing. What would Rosalie and Alice say?"

"Rose would say that she's got padding in her bra."

"Alice would she her purse is fake."

"You two are morons," I said as I stood. "I'm out. I need to get something for Bella while I'm here."

"Getting some lingerie? That's hot," Emmett said as he winked.

"No, asshat, I'm getting her a robe."

"A silk one?" Emmett asked again.

I stood. "I'm not discussing this with you two morons. Later."

"Hey, Edward!" Jasper called after I started walking away. "I'm taking your man card, you fucking pussy!"

I shook my head and flipped him off as I walked away. I could hear the two of them laughing behind me. I made my way to Macy's and quickly found the women's department. I wanted to get Bella a robe - preferably a warm once since she would be in the hospital for a few days and it was a bit drafty. After finding a fluffy yellow one, I wandered around a bit and found a few other things I thought she'd like before I made my way to the men's department. I needed some new jeans and pants for work.

As I looked for dress pants, I came to a stunning realization - even though Emmett and Jasper were my brothers and best friends, I could no longer relate to them on certain things. Yes, they were in somewhat committed relationships with Alice and Rosalie, but they weren't in the same position as I was with Bella. A year ago, I would have been sitting along side of them and commenting on the girls that passed by and not think twice about it. Just the thought of doing that now, though, repulsed me. I felt awful at the thought. Now, don't get me wrong, the girls were pretty in their own way, but they paled in comparison to my Bella. Yes, _my_ Bella. The second chance with her was not something I was going to take for granted.

The downside to all of this was that the only people who knew how I felt were my parents, and I didn't feel comfortable talking to them about this. Yes, they were married, but I felt they were too involved in our relationship. I wanted someone to talk to - someone who wasn't affected by our earlier drama - because I was still unsure about all of this. I didn't know when or how to approach Bella and ask her about us. Was there an us? When would it be okay to bring us to the next level? When would it be okay to be intimate again? I knew, though, that I wouldn't be able to find anyone here in Forks. It still felt like everyone knew our business. In all honesty, I was nervous and scared that I would do something to upset Bella. My biggest fear was that she'd take the twins and leave. I couldn't let that happen. I _wouldn't_ let that happen.

Once I was done at the mall, I picked up the twins from my parent's and went over to get Bella. I was interested to hear what she decided to do regarding her surgery. She wasn't the only one who was anxious for this to be done with. I hated that she was in so much pain.

"Hey, Edward," Rebecca said as she answered the door. She quickly took Masen's carrier from me.

"Hi. Bella and Charlie back yet?" I asked.

"Yeah, she's upstairs asleep, though. Poor thing was in a world of pain after the visit with the surgeon."

"Damn. I was hoping it wouldn't hurt her too much."

"Me either. Charlie said she waited until she got into the car before she started crying. It hasn't been a good day."

We quickly unbundled the twins from their snowsuits and walked into the kitchen where Charlie was seated. He had a laptop on the kitchen table and some papers next to it. It looked like he was going over bank accounts and looked rather stressed.

"Charlie," I said as I sat across from him with Maddy in my lap.

"Edward," he replied curtly.

"How was the surgeon?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "Okay. She's having surgery on Monday and should be out by Wednesday, then she has to stay off her foot for a few weeks. Nothing she's not already doing now, but at least there's a light at the end of the tunnel."

"True. Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Think your dad could get her a wheelchair? I figure it would be easier for her to get around campus with one of those than crutches."

"Yeah. I can definitely ask him about it. She'll probably hate the idea at first, but I do agree with you. I wouldn't want her to slip and hurt herself again." I could practically hear her arguments now. She was not going to like this one bit.

"And between her medical bills and trying to tuck money away for the wedding and other bills..." Charlie sighed and ran his hand over his face.

"Well, I could help...with the medical bills," I replied cautiously. It had been something I had been thinking about recently. I figured Charlie had to be tapped out financially, but I didn't know how to approach him about this.

"Excuse me?" Charlie asked with a look of shock on his face.

"If it would help, I could take care of them."

"That's very nice of you," Rebecca said.

"I don't need you to throw your money at me, Edward. I'm handling it," Charlie replied with gritted teeth. I knew he was angry. "It must be so nice to have an unlimited amount of money in your bank account. Not all of us have that luxury, and this household is doing okay without you waltzing in here and -"

"Charlie, that's enough," Rebecca interrupted. "Edward, why don't you go check and see if Bella's awake."

As I walked out of the kitchen, I knew then that I would never get his complete forgiveness, and to think that I would was unrealistic. But some of it had to be stemming from anxiety, too. I was pretty sure he was barely making ends meet, and I knew Renee hadn't given him any money for Bella since she was young. I felt badly for him, and I wished that he had accepted my offer to help. Maybe in time, he would.

When I reached Bella's door, I noticed it was partly open and the room was dimly lit. I knocked softly, and when she didn't respond, I walked in. I found her asleep in her bed with the lamp on the side table on. Her foot was elevated, and there were several tissues on the bed next to her. I felt awful for her and hated that the doctors had been rough with her. I'm sure that wasn't their intention, but they had to have seen she was uncomfortable. I gently sat down beside her and took her hand in mine, slowly tracing patterns in her palm.

"Bella," I said softly. It took a few minutes, but she eventually woke up. "Hey, how are you feeling?"

Bella yawned and stretched as best she could without looking me in the eye. I knew something was up. "Eh, it went. I don't want to talk about it right now. How was yours?"

"It was all right. Rebecca said you were in a lot of pain earlier. How is it now?"

"It's okay. I should have listened to the nurse when she told me to take something before hand."

"Feel like going downstairs or would you rather stay here?" I asked.

"I'd actually like to go back to your house, if that's okay?" she asked hesitantly.

"Of course. Whatever you'd like."

Later that night, after we were home and the twins were asleep in their cribs, I sat with Bella on the couch. She was watching what appeared to be a reality show about toddlers in beauty pageants. Her face was scrunched up, and her lips were in a tight line while she shook her head.

"If I _ever_ think of doing that to Maddy, please smack me."

"Is it really that bad?" I asked.

"Oh my God, yes! These parents dress up their little girls in outfits that they'll wear once, maybe twice, and have them prance around a stage waiting to be told they're the prettiest. Why can't the mothers just tell their daughters they're pretty without the glitz? It's not natural if you ask me."

"That's what sets you apart from them - you realize it's wrong and they don't. Charlie said surgery on Monday. Are you nervous?"

"About the surgery, no. About everything after, yes." Again I heard hesitation in her voice and wondered what had made her feel this way. I thought for sure she'd be excited for it.

I turned off the television and turned to face her. "What do you mean?"

"I hate not working. I hate not being able to take care of my kids properly. I hate having to rely on you and Dad for everything. It just doesn't seem fair. You guys are doing so much, and I'm doing nothing in return. I can see and hear how stressed Dad is about the bills, and it kills me that I can't pay them," she said with a shaky voice. Her eyes had tears in them, and I wanted nothing more than to relieve her and Charlie of this stress - if they'd let me.

"Well, I did talk to him about that," I said hesitantly. I wasn't sure if she would react the same way Charlie had.

"You did?" she asked, shocked.

"Yeah. He mentioned the bills, and I said I could help and take care of them."

"I'm sure that went well."

"He got angry and then Rebecca told me to go check on you. But I _was _serious, Bella. I want to take that burden from him because if you think about it, you going into labor early was my fault. You know I can afford to take care of you and the twins."

Bella slowly nodded. "I know. But he's never been one to ask for help. I know not having those bills would be a major relief, but even if you were to do that, I'd still feel weird. What will people say if they find out you're paying for everything for me?"

"That I care about you and my kids? And why would they need to know? It's no one's business but ours." I took her hands in mine and looked into her beautiful brown eyes. "The only thing I would like in return is for you and the twins to be here. Lets make this house _our home_. That's all I'd like," I said with sincerity.

Bella paused for a moment, and I noticed her eyes were filling with tears again. I wasn't sure if it was from her pain meds or if she was finally starting to realize what I felt for her. "Really? That hardly seems fair."

"Really. I just want you and the twins here. I want us to be a family. I can't promise to be perfect, and I'm sure I'll screw up, but I can try."

Her tears spilled over, and all she could do was nod in response. I gently wiped the tears from her cheeks with my thumbs before leaning in and placing my lips on hers. I was happy when she didn't pulled away. Instead, she wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me back with such passion it made my head spin.

"Best second first kiss ever," Bella said after she pulled away.

"Agreed."

"But, you have to stop blaming yourself for things in the past, Edward. You can't know that yours and Tanya's actions were the actual reason I went into labor early. My blood pressure was up and I wasn't healthy. So please, stop blaming yourself, because I don't," she said firmly while looking me dead in the eye.

_Did I just hear her right?_ "What?"

"I don't blame you, anymore, Edward. I've seen how much you've changed, and I don't expect you to be perfect because I'm not. If we're going to be a family, we have to put the past behind us, so no more talk or thoughts about the past, okay?"

I wasn't exactly sure what to say. I've been waiting for this, but honestly didn't think it would come this soon. I thought for sure I would have to wait longer for her forgiveness. I wasn't sure how long I sat there before I spoke, "Bella, I'll prove to you everyday just how sorry I am for everything I've done to you. I won't make you regret giving me this second chance."

"I know you will, and I don't regret that decision."

"So, what does that mean for us? Are we together again? Dating?" I asked. I had no clue what to call her.

"Well considering I live with you, I'd say we're back together," she replied with the first true smile I had seen on her face in a long time.

The remainder of the weekend was pretty quiet. Bella and I watched movies and played with the twins until Saturday night when Emmett and Jasper decided they wanted to invade our space. I thought for sure Bella would object, but she didn't. Instead, she felt the need to cook rather than order pizza like we usually did.

"Bella, you shouldn't be on your feet. You need to rest," I said.

"I know. I'll sit down while I make it, and you can put it in the oven. I'll be fine."

"So Bells," Emmett said as he walked into the kitchen, "excited for surgery?"

"I'm excited for after surgery. I just want to be done and go back to work and stop relying on everyone. Are tacos okay for dinner?"

"Yum," Emmett replied, patting his belly.

"Oh, but we're out of a few things. Can you run to the store if I make a list?" Bella asked me.

"Sure."

"I'll go, too," Alice said.

A half hour later, Alice and I were walking around the store picking up the things on Bella's list. To say there was awkwardness between us would be an understatement - it was so thick you could cut it with a knife.

"You look...happy," Alice said hesitantly.

"I am happy."

"That's good."

She refused to look at me, keeping her eyes on the list, or at the items on the shelf. I knew something was up. I stopped in the middle of the isle and waited until she noticed I wasn't next to her. It only took a few moments, but when she looked at me, she had the most heartbreaking look on her face. "Alice, what is it?"

She ran back to me and threw her arms around my neck. "I'm sorry, Edward! I'm so sorry!"

I melted at her words. "Where's all this coming from?"

She couldn't answer me just then. Instead, she sobbed and held me like her world depended on it. People who walked by gave us odd looks, but thankfully didn't linger. An employee, however, did ask if she was alright and brought her a bottle of water.

"Well that was embarrassing," Alice said after pulling away from me.

"Wanna tell me what's wrong?"

"I saw how you were with Bella at Christmas, and then I found some old pictures of us. I realized, then, how much I've missed you."

"I've missed you, too, Ally."

"I talked with Mom, and she helped me see what an awful person I was. I shouldn't have put my nose in your business."

"I understand why you did it; you were just looking out for your best friend."

"And for you. I thought that if I pushed you, you'd see how much of an ass you were being, but it backfired. I felt like lost you, and I hate it," she said with a shaky voice.

"You haven't lost me, Alice, we've just been in different places."

"I'm so sorry, Edward. Can you forgive me?" she asked in a small voice.

"Forgiven and forgotten." I hugged her again and the two of us picked up the remaining items on Bella's list before returning home.

When we arrived, everyone was at the kitchen table playing cards, and a pizza box was sitting open on the center island. We must have been gone a while. I quickly put everything away before sitting next to Bella, who had Masen in her lap.

"I didn't realize we were gone so long."

"It's okay. Everything alright?" she asked with concern.

"Yeah. I'll explain later."

"So, are we playing cards, or what?" Emmett asked impatiently. He had Maddy on his lap, who was talking away, almost as loud as Emmett was. Maddy adored Emmett - every time he held her, the two would carry on a conversation that made absolutely no sense, but she loved it.

After another four hands, the twins were put to bed. I thought Bella would want to call it a night, but she was dealing another round when I came back downstairs. I couldn't remember the last time she was this upbeat. I figured it was because her surgery was coming up and it would be a while before she felt this good again. Either way, I wasn't going to ruin the moment.


	20. Chapter 20

Thank you to my wonderful pre-readers and beta's: BookishQua, KannnD, Shadowed by Passion, and piperann_25. This chapter needed serious work and a rewrite, yet these ladies didn't make me feel dumb for it. LOVE LOVE LOVE them!

Shout out to the girls over at the Fanfic Angst H00rs group on facebook!

If you're reviewing on FF - if you have your PM's disabled, I can't reply to you, which makes me sad because then I can't say thank you!

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot of the Twilight Saga are the property of its author. I am in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media. Copyright infringement is not intended, nor will I ever make a dime from this fanfiction.**

I'm sorry it's taken so long for this chapter. If anyone is following me on twitter, you'll know I've run into some serious problems with my daughter's health. It's not major-major, but enough that it's taken me away from writing. Anyway, here's the next chapter.

**So, we're jumping ahead a bit, here. There are things our couple needs to get to before the end!**

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BPOV

March

These past few months had been busy. Like crazy busy. Not only did Edward and I have our normal classes for school, but I also had follow up appointments for my ankle and started physical therapy. The first sessions were rough and painful, but eventually, it got better, and I was moved from a full cast into a walking cast. Edward had been so wonderful taking care of me without complaint especially in the days after surgery. I had been in so much pain, but he was there for me - making sure I was as comfortable as I could be, and making sure the twins were looked after. Plus, I was able to ditch the crutches and the damn wheelchair Dad and Edward demanded that I use at school. It felt so good to be able to move around and take care of my kids.

My relationship with Edward was slow moving. Our alone time consisted of studying together in the living room after the twins were asleep, but it was nice. Most nights Edward would have a fire burning in the fireplace and Josh Groban playing softly on his sound system. Usually, I'd only get a few songs in before Edward insisted he needed to "cleanse his ears" with either Van Halen or Linkin Park. I'd help him with his general classes, and he'd help me with my science work. Once we were done, we'd peek in on the twins before passing out in bed. Friday nights when Edward didn't have to work, however, were our date nights. Usually that meant dinner and a movie 'on demand,' but just having a few hours for ourselves was what made it special. The one that stood out the most, however, was the surprise Valentine's Day date.

_I was so glad classes were done for the day. I had done badly on a test, and I had forgotten my notes for another class at home. I just wanted Edward to bring me home and soak, as best as I could, in a warm bath._

_I sat in my wheelchair at the usual spot and waited for Edward to arrive, still having no idea how he convinced me to use this thing. I had to admit, though, he was right. I could see myself slipping and injuring myself again. A gust of wind came up, and I wrapped my coat closer to my body. When I looked up, I saw Edward was getting out of his car. His smile was blinding as he quickly jogged over to me. I noticed that my breathing picked up a bit whenever I saw him, which was something that hadn't happened in a while._

"_Hi," I said with a smile._

"_Hey. Ready to go?" he asked. He bent down and gently kissed my forehead. _

"_Sure am."_

_Once we're in the car, Edward placed his hand on my knee. It's a simple thing, but the intimacy of it made me tingle all over. I placed my hand on his and gave it a squeeze._

"_Maddy's been wheezing a bit today," Edward said._

"_How often?" I asked, concerned._

"_I noticed it when we came home after running a few errands and again when I dropped her off at Mom's."_

"_I should go see her and call her doctor."_

"_Dad said he'd keep an eye on her and call us if it gets worse. He doesn't have to be at the hospital tonight."_

"_I'll make an appointment for her on Monday." We were quiet for a few minutes. I was worried for Maddy. Her doctors had told us that she would have lingering breathing problems, but thankfully she hadn't had any major problems since then._

"_She'll be fine," Edward said dismissively._

_Edward pulled into the parking lot of a local restaurant. I looked over at him in confusion. "Why are we here?"_

"_Because it's Valentine's Day, and I wanted to do something special."_

"_Edward, I don't want to be gone long with Maddy getting sick."_

"_She'll be all right," he insisted. "I think, of all people, my dad will know if something's wrong."_

"_I know, but -"_

"_Bella, honestly, she's in good hands, relax." I was a little annoyed at Edward's lack of concern, but realized he was right - Carlisle was the perfect one to be with her when she was sick. I did, however, feel bad that we were out having a good time when she was home and under the weather. _

_Edward helped me out of the car and walked next to me as I hobbled along on my crutches that were in the trunk of his car. When we got into the restaurant, we were taken to a private room in the back. It was small and dimly lit with what seemed like hundreds of tea candles. Scattered on the floor and the table were little crystals and flower petals. I was speechless._

"_Do you like it?" he asked._

"_It's... beautiful. Amazing." I turned and softly kissed him._

_Our conversation was very light; we talked about everything and nothing at all. I was simply content in having him next to me. Edward always kept a hand on me somehow - my leg, my arm, my back. I wasn't sure what had come over him, but I liked it._

_By the time we got home, neither one of us could keep our hands off each other. Somehow we had gotten upstairs and into bed. My heart was beating wildly. The way Edward touched me, kissed me, made my body burn for him. I didn't want him to stop. My body craved - no demanded - that connection again that only he could give me. I gently ran the tips up my fingers up his back as I kissed his neck. The moan that followed made me want him that much more._

_Yet, my mind started screaming at me. Was I ready for this? Were we prepared for this? I hadn't been to the doctor yet to discuss birth control. Suddenly, the memory of the last time we were in this situation hit me like a ton of bricks._

"_Edward, we have to stop," I said into his shoulder. His hands were under my shirt moving toward my breasts. My skin was tingling._

"_What? Why?" he asked breathless._

"_We don't... I can't..."_

_Edward looked at me then. His face went from wanton lust to disappointment. "Oh..." He sat up on his knees and then moved off of me to sit on the edge of the bed with his back to me._

"_I'm sorry." He didn't say anything, but got up and walked toward the bathroom. "Edward, wait."_

"_Don't," he said sternly._

_I stood and hobbled over to him, holding on to the dresser for balance. "It's not that I don't want to, because I do."_

"_Then what?" he asked._

"_I don't have any protection, and I haven't been to the doctor yet to talk about birth control. There's nothing more I want than to be with you, but we have to be serious about this."  
_

"_You really want this?" he asked. He was still a bit hesitant and leaned away from me when I tried to touch him. I stood on my tiptoes as best as I could, wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him until we both were breathless. After a moment, Edward responded and wrapped his arms tightly around my waist and held me tightly to him._

"_Yes. I wouldn't have stopped you if we were prepared."_

"_I can run down to the store and get some," he replied eagerly._

_I didn't hesitate in my reply. "Go."_

_I had to laugh as Edward threw his clothes on. It felt nice to know that he wanted this just as much as me. Before he left he kissed me hard on the lips and practically ran downstairs. I crawled under the covers to warm up as I waited for him. I must have dozed off because the next thing I knew, Edward was snuggled up behind me and the room was dark. _

Edward had been spending more time at work than at home since Valentine's day, and when he was home, he was usually sleeping or helping me with the twins. I didn't understand what had happened since that night. Whatever the reason, the lack to talking to each other was starting to annoy me.

I called Rose and Alice and practically begged for a girls night, and met up with them at the Cullen house along with the twins.

"I thought this was a girl's night?" Alice asked.

"It is. I didn't have anyone to watch the twins since Edward is working and meeting up with Emmett and Jasper after." I took Maddy and Masen out of their carriers and let them start crawling around on the living room floor. Maddy was still coughing. Her doctor had said she had gotten a cold and to keep an eye on it since her x-rays were normal. I was still worried even though a few weeks had passed since Valentines Day.

"So what's this all about?" Rose asked.

I made sure no one was in the hall or in the kitchen and dining room before I told Alice and Rosalie what had happened on Valentines day. "I just don't understand."

"So wait," Rosalie began. Her arms were crossed tightly across her chest. "He takes you out to a nice restaurant and then freaks out when you stop him because neither of you had protection, and now doesn't speak to you about it?"

"He barely speaks to me at all, and I get the feeling that he doesn't want me there," I said, shaking my head.

"Well that's just bullshit. Complete _bullshit,_" Rosalie said again. "I thought he was past all of this."

"So did I, but apparently something happened that night that changed everything. I just want to know what I've done." I felt like crying. Not only was I confused from the mixed signals from Edward, I was catching Maddy's cold.

"You haven't done a damn thing wrong. You were the responsible one. You're _always _the responsible one in your relationship," Alice said as she wrapped an arm around me.

"Part of me just wants to pack up my crap and leave, but the other is being stubborn and wants to stay so he has to talk to me."

"Well I have no idea what my brother is doing, but maybe we should talk to Jasper and Emmett. They're with Edward now doing God knows what. Maybe they could give us some insight?" Rosalie suggested.

Just then, Maddy started coughing. I quickly went to her, picked her up and started patting her back. She sounded awful. A few minutes later, she started crying and was completely uncomfortable. She wanted to be held, but didn't. She wanted her blanket, but pushed it away. Nothing seemed to be working.

"Do you want me to get dad?" Alice asked.

"Yeah." I knew then that the simple cold had been replaced by something else and that worried me.

Carlisle came into the living room a minute later with his medical bag to look Maddy over. As he listened to her lungs, I started coughing as well. I would have thought the DayQuil I had been taking would have started to work by now. Maddy kept squirming as Carlisle listened to her.

"You sound just as bad as she does," Carlisle said.

"I'm okay, just a cold."

"Doesn't sound like one. Let me listen to you."

"_Carlisle_," I whined.

"You're not going to be any good to her if you're sick, you know. Now take a deep breath." I took a few deep breaths for him and coughed after each one. I knew he was right, but I wanted to make sure Maddy was better before I focused on me. DayQuil and NyQuil were fine enough for me.

"You both should be seen." I opened my mouth to protest, but he held up his hand to stop me. "I mean it. Would you like me to take you, or would you rather Edward?"

I grumbled. "I'll call Edward." I thought back to when I was pregnant and how difficult it had been to get Edward to come to any of my appointments, and when he was there, he was disconnected from the situation. With the twins, though, he seemed to be a complete opposite - very hands on especially when they had to get shots. I quickly dialed his number and hoped he wouldn't be too angry.

"Hey," he practically shouted into the phone. Wherever he was was really loud.

"Hi. Sorry to call, but Carlisle is insisting Maddy and I go the ER to be seen," I said hesitantly.

"Why? Is she worse? Are you worse?" he asked, concerned.

"Maddy is, yeah, but I think Carlisle is just being paranoid with me."

"Well you haven't sounded all that healthy lately. If Dad thinks you need to go too, then you should go."

"Really, Edward, I'm fine. It's Maddy I'm worried about."

" I'll be there in twenty, okay? And you're being seen, too," he insisted.

About an hour later Edward, Maddy, and I were sitting in a room at the hospital waiting for a doctor to come in. I had tried to weasel my way out of being seen, but Edward insisted. He was still in his work shirt and pants, with Maddy asleep on his chest. Her wheezing wasn't as bad now as it had been, and I figured that was because she was upright.

"Sorry you couldn't stay out with Emmett and Jasper."

"It's fine. We were just shooting pool at Crowley's. It's not like we can't do that at home."

"I know, but you were looking forward to it." I sighed. "I'll be incredibly happy when winter is over."

"Yeah, it hasn't been a great one, has it?" he asked with a chuckle.

"Well, if you call a broken ankle a good thing then yes," I replied sarcastically. "Oh, we have to start planning for their first birthday."

"It's only March. We have time."

"Edward, first birthday's are important. You only have your first birthday once."

"Okay, okay," he said with slight annoyance.

The doctor came in then and looked both of us over. After x-rays were taken, the doctor said both Maddy and I had a touch of bronchitis and gave us both prescriptions. We headed back to the house to get Masen. The house was quiet, but that was to be expected at the late hour. Edward and I decided just to stay here since we were both exhausted.

The next morning, I awoke and found that Edward was gone, but I knew he had to work again this morning. I gathered our things and headed downstairs, eager to get going. The twins and I were meeting up with Dad today. When I came into the living room, Maddy and Masen were babbling away in their swings, and I heard Edward's voice coming from the kitchen.

"When are you going to do it?" Esme asked.

"I'm not exactly sure. I know it needs to be soon, though."

"True," Carlisle said. "The longer you wait, the harder it will be." I had no idea what they were talking about, but whatever it was it didn't sound good.

"I know." There was a pause. "I've just been so exhausted lately. Between bringing Bella to her appointments, school and the twins, there hasn't been a lot of downtime."

My mind started racing - what had they been talking about? Was there more reasoning behind his words? Had I done something? I heard the front door close and knew Edward had left for work. I quickly gathered up Maddy and Masen's diaper bags, jackets and the prescriptions for Maddy and walked into the kitchen.

"Good morning," Carlisle greeted.

"Hi. Can you take Maddy for a minute? I want to go start my car."

"Of course. Leaving so soon?"

"Yeah." I hated this. I hated that I felt like I had no one to talk to about this because I honestly felt like that. I was being irrational, but I was on the verge of a panic attack.

"Bells, you're early. Are you okay?" Dad asked as I walked through the door with the twins. Rebecca was sitting next to him.

"Can you watch them for a little bit? I need to run an errand. I should only be an hour at most." I made quick work of getting the twins out of their carriers. I needed to do this now before my nerve was gone.

"Yeah, but stop for a minute. What's going on?" Dad asked, worried.

"I'll only be an hour, no longer," I said again and headed out to the car. I got in and sat for a minute and thought about what I was about to do.

_Just grab the kids' stuff and your essentials. You can always go back for more later._

"Bella, what the hell is going on?" Dad asked again. I hadn't realized he had gotten in the car.

"Can we stay here?" I asked. "I know you said you changed out my old room, but can we stay in the basement?"

"You're always welcome here, you know that, but what's with the sudden change?"

"I just need some time away from him, and I have to do it now while he's at work. I promise I'll explain, just let me get this part done."

"Okay."

My hands shook as I quickly threw things into bags. Most of it was clothing and assorted things the twins needed. When I was done in the twins' room, I handed the bags to Dad and went into our room. The moment I stepped in, I was overwhelmed. Every emotion I was feeling hit me at once. I couldn't see through the tears, I couldn't breathe from the weight on my chest, and I could barely stand from the dizziness of my racing mind. Dad must have heard me cry out, because I felt his arms around me, holding me tight.

"It'll be okay," he whispered. His voice was strong and confident, and I knew he had been where I was now, only I wasn't sure if he had anyone to tell him it would be okay. "You'll be okay."

I held onto him as if my life depended on it. "I don't believe you."

"It may not feel like it now, but you will. I'll help you through it, I promise. Let's get what you need and go home."

"Okay." I grabbed everything I could and had to force myself to leave certain things like his pillow and shirt I slept in that smelled like him. I was taking the easy way out by leaving, but I couldn't think of an alternative at the moment. Before I walked out of the room, I took off my necklace that Edward had given me for Christmas and left it on the bed. I knew that when he saw this, he would realize we were gone, but I had hope that he'd realize just how badly he had hurt me. I couldn't keep giving and giving without getting anything back from him.

On my way out of the house, every memory came flooding back to me - the twins crawling for the first time in the living room; Masen falling asleep on Edward's chest as he studied; Maddy tasting baby food for the first time and getting it everywhere; and the quiet times Edward and I shared after the twins were asleep. It was all so overwhelming.

I climbed into the passenger seat of my car, shut off of my phone, and prayed for a few hours of peace before everything exploded around me.

**AN: Now don't get your panties in a bundle - their separation won't last long. There's only a chapter or two left before an epi. There WILL be a HEA - I promise! **


	21. Chapter 21

Thank you to my wonderful pre-readers and beta's: BookishQua, KannnD, Shadowed by Passion, and piperann_25. I LOVE LOVE LOVE them!

If you're reviewing on FF - if you have your PM's disabled, I can't reply to you, which makes me sad because then I can't say thank you!

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot of the Twilight Saga are the property of its author. I am in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media. Copyright infringement is not intended, nor will I ever make a dime from this fanfiction.**

**Note: The quotation Rebecca tells Bella in this chapter was originally said by Brian Tracy. No infringement is intended. Also, this is the last official chapter. I do plan on posting an outtake or two. Also, there's a new story up, too!**

* * *

Charlie POV

Bella had been in her room crying for a few hours now. Both Rebecca and I had tried to get her to let us come in so we could talk, but she wouldn't answer the door. I wasn't sure what happened between her and Edward, but I knew it couldn't be good. I wanted to find out what he did and tell him he could never see my daughter again, but that would never happen since they have two kids.

She had made me so proud as a parent; watching her care for Maddy with her breathing issues, making sure she had everything Maddy needed when she was sick, and then playing with Masen; making sure he got equal time. But what I was most proud of, was her ability to juggle the twins with school and working. Bella managed to get better grades than I did and still found enough energy to work; before she broke her ankle. I sometimes felt she was trying to do too much on her own, but she'd always been stubborn like that. Even though my baby girl was an adult with kids of her own, I still felt the need to protect her.

"She still won't come down?" Rebecca asked as she walked into the living room. I put my arms around her and pulled her tightly to me.

"No, and it's killing me. How am I supposed to help her when she won't talk to me?"

"Just give her time to cry it out. I'm sure she'll come down soon."

"What did the test say?" I asked quietly.

"Positive." I felt her smile against my chest. "All five of them, and because of what happened in my past, my doctor wants to see me next week just to make sure everything is okay, which I'm sure it is."

"I'm pretty sure your father will kill me for knocking up his unmarried daughter."

"My how the tables have turned. The real question is what are you going to do when Edward shows up?"

"It depends on what he did. I mean, it has to be something major to cause Bella to pack up everything without even talking to him."

"It _was _major." I jumped at the sudden sound of Bella's voice behind me. She was standing behind us at the foot of the stairs. Her cheeks were flushed and tear stained. "Where are Maddy and Masen?"

"They're asleep in the playpen," I answered. "Why don't you come and sit down?"

"Are you hungry? I can make you something," Rebecca offered.

"No, I'm fine."

"I'll go upstairs so you two can talk," Rebecca said.

Once she was gone, Bella and I sat on the couch, each of us on different ends. I wasn't sure how long we sat in silence. I wanted to tell her just to spill it; to get it all out so we could figure this out together.

"I'm so confused," she said quietly.

"About?"

"Everything. I mean...I thought our relationship was in a good place. He seemed happy to have us there."

"But?"

"But then I heard him talking with his parents, and now everything has changed."

"What exactly did he say?" I asked calmly.

"He said he was exhausted from me and the twins."

"Maybe you misheard him?"

"Then Carlisle asked him when he was going to do _it_, and Edward said soon."

"Wait, what does _it_ mean?" I asked, confused.

"He's going to tell me to move out. I mean, what else could it be?"

"When did he say this?"

"This morning."

I was quiet for a minute as I thought about what she had just said. She wasn't telling me everything. "So, you overheard part of a conversation, assumed he was talking about leaving you, and packed up without talking to him first?"

"What was I supposed to think?" she asked, angrily. "Our history together hasn't been perfect, so yeah, I packed up and left."

"I'm sure if you just talked -"

"I don't _want_ to talk to him!" she yelled. Bella stood and started pacing around the living room. I hadn't seen her like this before. "I just feel like I don't belong anywhere."

"What? What are you talking about? You belong here; of course you do."

"No. I heard you and Rebecca. You're going to have a baby, which means we can't stay here. God, what am I going to do now?"

I stood and walked over to her and placed my hands on her shoulders to stop her pacing. "Yes, Rebecca and I are having a child, but I wouldn't kick you out because of that. This is your home just as much as it mine. If anything, we can remodel the basement and turn it into an apartment. But right now, you need to calm down. Things will work out, but you _have to talk to Edward_."

"I bet he won't even realize we're gone."

"Bella, stop this. Right now. You need to think of Maddy and Masen here."

"I am! Obviously he doesn't want us anymore!"

"Enough," I demanded. "With everything you've told me, it doesn't sound like he wants you out of his life. Being a parent is exhausting at times, Bella, whether you do it on your own or you have someone to help you out. But don't let that one statement be the basis of your actions. There's something more you didn't hear, and you won't find out what it is until you talk to him. What time is Edward done with work today?"

Bella looked at the clock on the wall. "An hour."

"Fine. Go upstairs and calm yourself down. I'll let you know if he comes over."

"Okay," she whispered.

**BPOV**

I hated this. Something in the back of my mind kept telling me I had made a huge mistake, but I wasn't sure how to handle the situation. My heart was breaking in a million pieces at the loss of him. I thought we had a perfect little family; perfect for us, that is. I thought things were finally going in the right direction for us. So why would he want us out?

"Bella? May I come in?" Rebecca asked through the door.

I quickly wiped the tears from my face. "Sure."

Rebecca walked in and closed the door behind her, before sitting on the edge of my bed next to me.

"When I was nineteen, I was completely in love with my high school boyfriend, Christopher. We lived together, worked together, went to school together. Things were perfect, or so I thought. I came home from dinner with my parents and heard him talking to his friends. I thought he was talking about a girl he was seeing on the side. I was completely wrong and ruined my relationship because of the assumption I made."

"What happened?"

"I went crazy. I threw his clothes out in the snow, changed the locks and my phone number. I even called the girl I thought he was cheating with and wished her well. Then she said she wasn't dating Christopher, but his good friend Brian. I ruined a very good relationship because I misheard and made an assumption."

"But I don't know if I misheard him."

"I'm guessing you did, and it's okay. I'm sure it's fixable," she said taking my hand in hers.

"But what if it isn't? What if I did misunderstand and he doesn't forgive me?" My voice was shaky. I didn't want to lose him.

"Edward's changed, Bella. A lot. Even your dad thinks so, which is saying quite a bit," she replied with a smirk.

"He's said that?" I asked, shocked.

"Yes, although I don't think he'd admit it if you asked him. That man is so stubborn. Tell me something. Do you love Edward?"

"I do. I've never wanted anyone but him. Does that sound silly?"

"No. Sometimes you just know. I did with your father."

"You did?"

"Yep. On our first date, in fact. He was such a gentleman and laughed at my stupid jokes. And then I saw him with you and could see just how much he loved you. It's the same with the twins. I'm going to give you a piece of advice and then I'll leave you alone. I heard this quote once, and it's always stuck with me. 'You can have all kinds of problems and disagreements with another person, but as long as the trust and respect are still there, the relationship can endure.'" She pulled me into a hug before leaving the room.

I sat and thought about the quote Rebecca told me and realized what a huge mistake I had made. The knot in my stomach felt worse now than it did before Rebecca came in, and I could hardly see through my tears. Why hadn't I asked him about what I had heard? Why didn't I just wait for him at the house? I overreacted so badly that it may have cost me my relationship with Edward. How would I make this right? _Could_ I make this right? Everything I had wanted and had worked so hard to get had slipped away from me because of one mistake.

**EPOV**

I pulled into the garage after work looking forward to some quiet time with Bella once the twins were asleep. I was excited to see her reaction to a surprise I had been planning. It had been something I had been working out with my parents, and I knew she'd love it. However, when I walked into the house, I knew something was wrong. The atmosphere didn't feel warm and welcoming like it usually did. Tonight, it felt empty and cold.

"Bella?" I called out. I knew she wasn't home, but for whatever reason, I called out for her. Chalk it up to habit.

I took the stairs two at a time and poked my head into the twins' nursery. Everything was scattered about - drawers left opened and emptied, closet open with hangers on the floor. I found the same in our room, with one slight difference - on my pillow was the necklace I had given Bella for Christmas. I quickly pulled my phone from my pocket and dialed her number, but it went straight to voicemail.

"Bella? What's going on? I came home and the twins' room is a mess and your necklace is on my pillow. _Where are you?_"

I hung up and dialed Alice. If anyone would know what was going on, it was her. "Alice, have you talked to Bella today?" I asked, frantically.

"No. I tried calling her a little while ago but it went to voicemail. Masen was probably messing with it again. Why?"

"I just really need to talk to her."

"She's probably at her Dad's."

"Thanks."

Rather than calling, I jumped back in the car and hightailed it over to Charlie's. So many things were running through my head. Were the three of them okay? Why would she take everything and leave without talking to me? God, what if something bad happened? I threw the car in park, ran up to the front door, and rang the bell.

"Hey, Edward," Charlie said as he answered the door.

"Hey. Have you talked to Bella recently? Are she and the kids okay?"

"Yeah, they're inside, actually. We just sat down for dinner."

"Can I come in?"

"Can I trust you not to make a scene in front of them?" he asked.

I was taken aback by Charlie's statement. _What the heck was going on? _"Yes. I was just worried, that's all."

Charlie nodded and held the door open for me. I could hear Maddy and Masen from the kitchen along with Bella and Rebecca; they were always talkative when they ate. Just hearing them calmed my nerves. I stood in the living room and waited as Charlie told Bella I was here. I heard a bit of a commotion and a raised voice before Bella emerged. She couldn't even look at me.

"Why did you leave?" I asked.

Bella burst into tears. I went to her and put my arms around her to comfort her. "I'm sorry."

"I come home from work and you're gone. The kids' belongings are gone and your necklace is on my pillow, so tell me what I'm missing here."

"I heard you. I heard you talking to your parents this morning about how tired you were and telling your dad you were going to do it soon."

"What? You have no idea what you're even talking about. Is that all you heard?"

"I didn't need to hear anymore."

"You have no idea what we were even talking about."

"I'm sorry, but I heard you and your parents talking and I just freaked out. I mean, I thought we were in a good place, and then this happens. I've been trying to figure out what I could have possibly done to make you no longer want me. Have I said or done something to make you feel like this?" she asked.

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. She was so far from the truth that it was ridiculous. I took a few deep breaths to calm myself down. I knew Charlie was in the next room and would say something if the yelling continued. For all I knew I was still on his bad side, I didn't need to get on his shit list, too. "Fine. I had been arranging a trip to Seattle, just the two of us. I didn't know which weekend it would be because of work, and I had only found out which weekend I would have off the day before. So, the 'when are you doing it' thing was Dad's way of asking when I was telling you."

Bella's eyes widened and she started to cry harder. "Oh."

I couldn't help it; I was angry. I had wanted to do this _one thing_ for her to help us reconnect and she had to ruin everything by assuming the worst. But I pushed that feeling aside since Bella was upset. I didn't want to make her worse. "And yes, I'm tired. Exhausted, actually, but have you ever heard me complain?"

"No," she said softly.

"I never have. You know why? Because you and the twins _are my life_, and I would do anything for you. I see everyday what I could have lost, and if you think for one minute I'm going to let the three of you go, then you really know nothing about me."

"Edward -"

"I know I'm not perfect and I've made mistakes, but I thought we were passed all this insecurity. I thought we were finally getting to a place where we were comfortable and happy."

"We were! We are! I'm sorry, Edward. I'm so sorry for leaving and for ruining the surprise." She buried her face in her hands and was crying so hard, she was shaking. I pulled her to me and held her as she cried and said, "I'm sorry," over and over. I hadn't seen her like this in quite some time, and I wondered if there was something else going on that she wasn't telling me. Eventually, she quieted down. I even felt her hold onto me as tightly as I was on her.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"I know. Is there something else that's making you feel like this?" I asked, gently. I didn't want to upset her further.

"No. I just thought that you didn't want us anymore, that's all."

"Bella, I'll always want you."

I tilted her face up and captured her lips with mine. I needed to have that small reassurance that we were okay; that this was just a setback but we could get past it. Her lips matched my fever, and had we been home, I would have taken it to the next step. However, our little moment was interrupted by someone at our feet begging for attention. It was Maddy.

"Da!"

I laughed and picked her up, only to turn away. "Whoa, Maddy! What did Grandpa feed you? You smell almost as bad as Emmett after the gym!" I heard Bella chuckle next to me.

"Don't blame me!" Charlie called from the kitchen. I wondered how much he had heard. "It was her mother who grabbed the jar of peas!"

"Gah! It's all up her back!"

"Come on, let's go take a bath. Where's your brother?" Bella asked.

"I've got him. Why don't you two go home and talk? You can come and get the twins in the morning," Charlie offered.

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"Yeah."

"I'm going to grab a sweater from upstairs," Bella said. She took Maddy and went upstairs with Rebecca and Masen behind her. I was suddenly nervous being left alone with Charlie.

"Edward, I owe you an apology," he said walking over to me.

"What? I'm pretty sure you don't."

"No, I do. I helped Bella pack everything up before finding out what really happened and - "

I shook my head. "Chief Swan, you don't - "

"I should have asked her what had happened before helping take everything out of the house. It wasn't right and for that I apologize."

I wasn't really sure what to say. I knew he was sincere, though, because he looked me in the eye when he apologized, but hearing him say the words was a bit...odd. "Um, thanks."

"I know she didn't mean to just up and leave."

"Yeah. It freaked me out coming home and finding she and the kids were gone. I had so many things going through my mind." I shook my head and forced the thoughts away.

"I bet. As much as I don't want to admit it, she does love you, so make it work, okay?"

Once we kissed the twins goodbye, Bella and I returned home to talk. And talk we did. We covered everything from Bella's insecurities about being enough for me, to starting to plan the twins' first birthday party. We even talked a little bit about plans for the summer. Mom had been talking about going to the lake, and I was anxious to bring Bella and the kids. Finally, around two in the morning, we both seemed talked out.

"Will you put this on?" Bella asked, holding out the necklace I gave her. "I shouldn't have taken it off."

"Sure." I sat behind her - her back to my chest and our legs next to each other hanging off the bed - and held the necklace in my hand as she pulled her hair up. Once it was secure, I wrapped my arms around her held her close to me. "I'm glad you're here."

"Me too."

I softly kissed her neck. When she sighed and moaned, I knew we wouldn't get to sleep anytime soon. I continued kissing her neck and started to run my hands down her shoulders, and over her arms and laced her fingers through mine.

"Don't stop," she whispered.

We quickly rearranged ourselves on the bed. Both of us explored each other's bodies. The only sound in the room were our quiet whispers and soft moans, which changed to panting as our bodies moved together. Bella ran her hands up and down my chest and back, and would dig her nails into me when I did something she liked. I loved it when she did that. I hadn't felt this connected to her before, and the look in Bella's eyes told me she felt the same. A hitch in Bella's breath told me told me she was close. I wasn't far behind her, and when the moment came, we both cried out and clung to each other.

"I love you, Edward," she said, breathless.

"I love you, too."

A month after the misunderstanding was our weekend away from the kids. The twins were with my parents, finals were done, and all we had on our schedule was to do nothing but relax. I wanted to reserve a room at a fancy hotel, but I knew that would make Bella uncomfortable, so I found a nice room in a lower price range. To be honest, it was perfect for us. The room was on the corner end of the hotel and was smaller than the others, but it worked. A nice large bed sat in the middle of the room along with two side tables, a desk and a television.

"This is perfect," Bella said as she flopped on the bed.

"Glad you like it."

"So what exactly are we going to do while we're here?"

"Anything and nothing. It doesn't matter to me."

"Antiques! We need to start to decorate the house. It's so bare."

"Good call." We decided to spend the night in the room and order room service and watch a movie, since we were both tired from the drive. I don't think either of us made it through the first movie before passing out.

The next morning, we had a quick breakfast before walking around the city a bit. We found a few antique shops, but didn't find anything that jumped out at us. Bella decided that she liked the antique nautical look, which was fine by me. I really didn't care how we decorated the house, as long as Bella was happy.

"Hey, did you remember to bring your letter?" Bella asked.

"Yes, although I don't really see the point." A few days before our trip, Bella had asked me to write either a list of things I wanted to put behind us, or a letter to ourselves to help us heal. I thought it was a bit weird, but did it anyway.

"You'll figure it out when we do it. I need to find a park and a place that sells balloons." Bella pulled out her cell phone and quickly found what she was looking for. Aside from buying balloons, we also grabbed a few sandwiches and drinks to have a picnic. Once she found the perfect spot in the park, she had us pull out our letters.

"So, I read about this online. Some people do it when they break up with a boyfriend or whatever, but I thought it could work for us. To let go of some of the negative memories from the past year. Does that make sense?" Bella asked.

"Yeah."

"It doesn't mean we won't still have bad days, but maybe this can signify the beginning of something new. It sometimes feels like there's an elephant in the room when it comes to our past, and I'm done with the constant reminders of it."

"I am, too. More than done, really," I admitted.

"So let's agree that what's done is done, and that we're going to be honest with each other and not make assumptions. If we don't, it will kill our relationship."

"Agreed."

Bella took our letters and tied them to the string of the balloons. After we let them go and watched as they went further into the clouds above us,I looked at Bella and saw that her face had relaxed - almost like a weight had been lifted from her. I spun her around and kissed her. I wanted her to know that I felt the same way and that I was ready to put the past behind us. But instead of doing that with a letter, I would do it in a different way.

"I have something for you," I said as I reached into the backpack I had been carrying.

"What is it?" I pulled out a small black box and handed it to her. "This better not be -"

"It's not an engagement ring, we're nowhere near that stage _yet_, but I wanted to get you something to show you that I truly am committed to you and _only_ you." The ring nestled in the box was nothing more than a thin silver band. I wanted to get something more, but everything I found looked too much like an engagement ring.

"You had it engraved," Bella said, shocked. I nodded. Inside were the words 'I promise.'

"Do you like it?"

"I love it. Thank you." Bella smiled, and it was a beautiful sight. "Crap, it doesn't fit."

"Well, I had to guess on the size. Try your middle finger."

She quickly pulled the ring off and tried it on her middle finger. "Perfect."

In the days that followed, things between Bella and I got a lot better thanks to the help of a therapist. It was a bit weird at first, but our therapist was a young guy who had kids of his own, which helped. We also joined a playgroup; the same one Alec went to. All the parents were teenagers like us. It was amazing how easy it was to relate to everyone. I wish we had joined earlier. Some days it was easier to call one of them when we had a question about the twins, instead of our parents.

Bella and I also started getting the house in order, along with our work and summer school schedules. Some days we barely saw each other until we crawled into bed, but we always set aside time for one another. Our relationship seemed stronger now than it had ever been. We did our best to keep communication open and honest, but some days were harder than others.

But one thing I was sure about: I loved her with every fiber of by being. There's no one else I wanted to be with. We may had done things out of order, but it worked for us. As long as she was happy, I was happy. As long as she was by my side, I was a stronger man. Our life may not have been perfect, but it was ours, and that's all that mattered.


	22. Epilogue

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot of the Twilight Saga are the property of its author. I am in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media. Copyright infringement is not intended, nor will I ever make a dime from this fanfiction.**

Le sigh... the epilogue... the last one of this story - unless I do an outtake. This story turned out so different from the original version and I couldn't be happier about it. I'll see ya below with more...

This epilogue is snippets of time.

* * *

BellaPOV

"You clean up good, Dad," I said from the doorway.

Today was the day Dad and Rebecca were getting married. I hadn't seen him in a tux - or a suit - since I was a little girl. I thought he was handsome then, but that paled in comparison to how he looked now. Today he was a man in love - a sparkle in his eye, a glow on his face, and smiling to himself in the mirror. He had splurged this morning - not only did he get his hair trimmed a bit shorter than usual, but he also got an old-fashioned shave because he knew how much Rebecca liked it.

"Thanks, you do, too." My dress was simple - a pale green A-line, that had a sweetheart neckline and came down to my knees.

"You ready for all this?" I asked him.

"Yeah, I am. Been waiting a long time for her."

"I know. The photographer is downstairs and wants a few pictures of us before we go over to the church."

"Okay. Are the twins downstairs?"

"No, Edward's going to bring them over. Masen was just waking up when I left."

Once we were downstairs, various pictures were taken of the two of us. There were so many things I wanted to say to him - how proud and happy I was for him, and how I knew Rebecca was the right choice, but the words wouldn't come. I had wanted him to find happiness for so long, to finally be settled. Never did I think he'd find that happiness during a routine police call.

I stood at the front of the church, flowers in hand, and watched as my Dad and Rebecca exchanged vows. Rebecca was beautiful in her simple dress that hid her growing baby bump. During the reception, I noticed how calm my Dad had become. Where he once was reserved and quiet in a crowd, he now was more open and talkative - especially with Rebecca's brothers. He seemed to fit right in. It was a side of him I had never seen before.

"He's so different now." Edward wrapped his arms around me as we watched Dad and Rebecca dance to a slow song. It was as if everything around them disappeared. The way he held her close to him in his arms; the way she looked into his eyes, made my heart swell with love for them. They were truly happy together and I knew then that my fear of being replaced or forgotten about had been silly.

"How so?" I asked.

"Well for starters, he was actually civil toward me when I congratulated him and Rebecca."

I laughed. "Yeah, that's new. I think the biggest change I've seen in him is how _happy_ he seems. I don't think I can remember a time when he smiled and laughed so much. Plus, look at the two of them - staring into each others eyes like they're the only people here - like nothing else matters right in this moment. It's a beautiful thing."

"It is. He's waited a long time."

I nodded, suddenly feeling a bit overwhelmed by everything. "He really has and he deserves it."

"So do you, you know."

"What are you talking about?"

Edward turned me around in his arms. "You once told me that you were afraid that Charlie would be alone and that you desperately wanted someone you could call 'mom.' Well, now you know he won't be and you finally have that person. Rebecca is the missing piece to your family puzzle."

I was quiet for a moment as I thought this over. I was being given a wonderful gift with Rebecca - a permanent female figure in my life and a new sibling. Of course I had Esme, and she had always been there when I needed her as I grew up, but with Rebecca it would be different. I wasn't sure how yet, but instead of being afraid and worried, I embraced it. "Huh? I guess you're right. Have you given them our gift yet?"

"No, I figured we should do that together."

"Afraid?" I teased.

"Of him not accepting it, yes. I want him to see that I'm doing this out of respect, not that I'm buying his forgiveness."

"I don't think he'll see it like that, but I guess there's no way to find that out until we give it to them."

"Could we maybe do it in private?" he asked hesitantly.

"Sure."

A few minutes later, Edward and I were outside behind the Lodge where the reception was being held. It was a rare, cloudless night and the stars were twinkling brightly in the sky. Edward was bouncing a little on his toes - something he started doing whenever he was around Charlie. I figured it had stemmed from the last time the two had been alone together - Edward had offered again to finish paying off the medical bills from the twins and my ankle that were still outstanding, while Dad had refused again saying things were "fine." I silently said a prayer that Dad would finally accept this gift and let the past go.

"Chilly tonight," Rebecca said while rubbing her arms.

"Do you want my jacket?" Dad asked.

"No, it feels nice. It's so stuffy inside. So what's this all about? Is everything okay?" Rebecca asked.

"Yes. Edward and I wanted to give you our gift tonight, in private."

"Bells, you didn't have - "

"It was actually Edward's idea, but we had planned on giving you guys something anyway."

Edward pulled an envelope from his jacket pocket and handed it to Dad. I took Edward's hand in mine as they opened it and gave him a reassuring squeeze.

"Uh... what is this?" Dad asked.

"We know the two of you didn't plan a honeymoon or anything, so we wanted to give you one," Edward said.

Dad started shaking his head quickly, his cheeks beginning to turn pink from embarrassment. "It's too much - "

"Dad, let us do this for you both. You two have helped us out so much with the twins and everything, that we wanted to do something nice for you."

"And I paid off the bills from the twins and her ankle. I know you said things were fine - "

"They _are_," Dad said sternly, through gritted teeth.

"Charlie, enough," Rebecca said softly. "It's time to put that behind us. And before you say anything, he's not buying you off or anything. He's doing it to take a burden off of your shoulders."

"I don't have a burden. Bella and the twins are not a burden."

"Of course not, but things are so tight that I worry about things." She started to gently rub her tiny bump. "Just accept it and let it go. Plus, look at the wonderful gift they've given us - a weekend away at a beautiful hotel!"

We stood there for a few minutes as Dad mulled things over. I knew better than to say anything while he thought this out, but I was desperate for him to accept it and start anew. None of us could move forward until it happened. Eventually, Dad looked up from the paper in his hands, looked over to Rebecca then to us.

"Okay."

"Okay?" I asked.

"Yeah." Edward and I both exhaled deeply in relief. I didn't know I had been holding my breath until then. "I wanted to take her away from Forks, but... it's a very nice gift - too much, but nice, so thank you."

I threw my arms around him. "Oh Dad, you're so welcome. I just wish I could give you more."

"This is plenty."

"I'm so happy for you and Rebecca. She's perfect, your other half," I said, my voice breaking.

"I know."

Three and a half months later their son, Charles Jr - or CJ - was born. He looks and acts exactly like dad - very quiet and laid back...until he decides he's hungry, then he starts screaming his head off until he gets a bottle in his mouth. As adorable as he is, it sometimes feels a bit odd having a brother that's so much younger than me. Dad and Rebecca are already talking about baby number two...

* * *

"Just think, Bella, in a few years this will be you," Esme said.

"Yeah, I can't wait."

Esme and I, along with the rest of the family, were crammed into a small civic center for Edward's college graduation. I was so proud of him. He finished his internship at a successful company and was offered a full time position, which he accepted. As if that wasn't fantastic enough, he was also graduating with honors.

"He's come so far these past few years," Carlisle said with pride in his voice.

"Edward's really looking forward to his new job. Good pay and benefits and he loves the other employees. He's so excited," I said.

When "Pomp and Circumstance" started, I looked for Edward in his cap and gown as best as I could through the crowd. Thankfully, the ceremony itself only lasted a little over an hour, and when his name was called, we all cheered for him. After it was done, we went outside to the front lawn where all the graduates were standing around, taking photos and talking to the faculty. I let Carlisle and Esme have a few minutes with their son before joining them.

The next day, everyone was back at the house for Edward's graduation party. The backyard had three BBQ grills going; tables and chairs everywhere, covered with various foods. I think Esme and I went a tad overboard, but Edward deserved it. A lot of his classmates and coworkers were coming as well as other people from around town.

"Have a second?" I asked. Edward was in our room getting changed.

"Yeah."

"I wanted to give you something." I walked into the closet and quickly retrieved a box.

"What's this for?"

"Graduation. I didn't have time to wrap it, though."

Edward quickly removed the lid and pushed the tissue paper aside. His face lit up in surprise. "Oh wow. Thank you." He picked up the black leather messenger bag and held it up to get a better look at it. On the front pocket, I had his initials sewn in.

"You've been using the same bag since high school, and now that you're done with school, I felt you needed something better. Look inside."

Hidden in the center pocket was a framed photo of me and the kids. "I love the bag, but I love the photo more," Edward said with a smile. I leaned up and softly kissed him on the lips. "And most of all, I love you."

I smiled. I would never get tired of hearing him saying that to me. "I love you, too."

That night, as the party was in full swing, I found my Dad sitting on the back porch with Edward, Carlisle, Jasper, Emmett and a few of our friends.

"Just who I wanted to see," Dad said. He had a beer in his hand and Rebecca sitting on his lap. "I have a question for you, Edward."

I noticed Edward tense up a bit. "Okay."

"You and Bells have been together awhile now. The twins seem to be happy these days. So I'm curious about something."

_This should be interesting_, I thought.

"Hit me." Edward took a sip of whatever it was in his glass.

"When are you finally going to man up and make an honest woman out of my daughter?"

Edward spit out his drink in shock. I felt my face flush with embarrassment and anger. Jasper and Emmett started laughing hysterically.

"Dad! How could you ask him that in front of everyone?" I asked.

"What? It's an honest question."

"That should have been asked in private!" I shouted.

"Chief Swan," Edward began after he recovered from a coughing fit, "I do love your daughter, and my kids, of course, but we aren't in any rush to get married."

"Scared?" Dad asked, with a smirk on his face. I couldn't believe he was doing this, today of all days.

"Of marriage? No. Of you? Yes." Edward stood and walked away before Dad could say anything else.

"Really, Dad? You had to ask him that _today_?" I asked angrily before running to catch up to Edward. He was halfway down the block before I reached him. His strides were long and his fists were clenched at his side - a clear sign he was upset. I silently walked next to him and waited for him say the first word, not wanting to rush him. Eventually, I took one of his fists in my hand and lightly ran my fingers over his it to help calm him.

"I'm sorry I walked away," he finally said. We stopped at a park a few blocks from the house. I sat on top of a picnic table; Edward sat on the bench below me in between my legs.

"Don't be. I'm not happy with Dad, either."

"First he doesn't want us together, and now he's pushing marriage. I wonder why the sudden flip-flop?"

"I think maybe he was waiting to see that you were really sticking to your goals or something. I don't know. It threw me for a loop, too."

"Do you feel the same way he does?"

"About marriage?" I asked.

"Yeah."

I sighed. "I know I want to be your wife someday, but right now, I'm happy where we are."

"Are you? Because if you're not, if you'd rather that promise ring be an engagement ring, -"

"Edward, no." I wrapped my arms around him and rested my cheek on top of his head. "Honestly, I don't think we're ready for that yet. Yes, we have a family already, but there's so much I want to do before then, you know? What about you?"

"I've thought about it a few times recently, but yeah, we're not ready. We're still young and you're still in school. I know people probably think we should because of Masen and Maddy, but we've never really done what's considered 'normal' have we?"

"No. When we get to that point in our lives, it'll be perfect, so let's not rush it."

"I guess Charlie's question just caught me off guard and I freaked out."

* * *

**Two Years Later**

"Do you have a meeting with your advisor today?" Edward asked. He was taking a quick shower while I was getting ready. I was nervous. I had no idea what this meeting was for. I had just started my senior year and finally decided on a major - social work.

"Yeah. I'm hoping she gives me some direction about what to do after graduation."

"Pretty sure if you asked, she'd give you some ideas. Are we still heading up to Seattle tonight with the kids?" Edward asked as I looked through my jewelry box for something nice to wear.

"Yeah, call the hotel and confirm, would you please? I gotta run."

"Sure. Love ya."

"Love ya, too," I said, dashing out of the bathroom.

A few hours later, I was standing in the reception area of Edward's office waiting for him. I had texted him after my meeting and asked if we could get together for lunch. I wanted to talk to him about it before I went to pick up the kids from preschool. The girl at the reception desk in Edward's office kept looking me over from head to toe, and it made me feel like I didn't belong. I didn't care, though - I had too much on my mind.

"Ready for lunch?" Edward asked as he came up behind me. I didn't even hear him approach.

"What? Yeah, let's go."

"Michelle, I'll be on a longer lunch. If someone needs me, please have them email me. It'll go to my phone."

"Oh sure, Edward. Enjoy your lunch with your friend."

We walked to a little cafe a few blocks down and sat at a table by the front window. "What are you in the mood for?" Edward asked.

"Just something light. My stomach is in a knot."

"So, tell me about your meeting. What did your advisor say?"

"She suggested that I consider law school," I said unsure. My mind was all over the place with this suggestion. I never even thought about it. It would be another three years and a boat-load of tuition money I knew my dad didn't have, so I couldn't ask him to pay for it.

"Wow. What do you think about that?"

"I haven't really thought about it. She said that with my determination and personal experience, that I would make a good family attorney. Apparently my professors think the same."

"Is that something you'd like to do?"

"There isn't a law school around here and it would be another three years of school."

"Okay, but take that out of the equation. If you were _able_, would you want to go?"

I was quiet for a few minutes as I thought it over. Law school. Was I even smart enough to get through it? How would that work with the kids and living arrangements? The thought of it was overwhelming. "I'm not sure yet, but I'd like to look into it a bit more."

Edward nodded in agreement. "Sounds like a good idea."

"What do you think?"

"I think you would do an amazing job and if you decide it's what you'd like to do, then I'll support you all the way."

"Even though I still wouldn't be bringing in an income? I mean, I'll have to take out a massive student loan to pay for it -"

"Bella," Edward said interrupting me and placed his hand on mine, "if you want to do it, we'll make it work. Don't worry about the money aspect of it, okay? I don't want that to be the determining factor, all right?"

"Okay. I'd like to talk to Dad about it, too, if you don't mind?"

"Of course not. I know how important his opinion is to you."

"It is, but yours is just as important, too."

"That's nice to hear. So, what else do we need for this weekend?"

"Nothing. I already have the twins packed, so tonight I'll throw an extra outfit in for us, and we should be good to go."

* * *

**One Year Later**

"You're really ready for this?" Dad asked.

We were standing in the middle of my now empty living room. The entire house was packed up - some of it was already shipped, some of it was still sitting in boxes waiting to be loaded in the U-Haul. It all seemed a bit surreal.

"Yeah. I really am."

"Everything all packed up?" Dad was slowly pacing around the room, not making eye contact with me.

"Yep. Although, I did leave some stuff in the basement at the house, if that's all right?" Dad nodded his head.

So much had changed in the last year.

The twins had grown so much. A few weeks ago they graduated from Preschool, complete with caps and little gowns. Edward and I may have gone a bit overboard and invited the entire family, but hey, they only only graduate from Preschool once, right?

Masen had discovered his love of football and baseball. He couldn't figure out which one he loved the most. Edward had found a store online that made him a custom shirt where one half is the Seahawks and the other half is the Mariner's with his name on the back. We can't keep it off of him longer than ten minutes, and he literally sits in front of the washer and dryer when I clean it.

Maddy, on the other hand, still has lingering breathing issues, but it's not as bad as it had been. However, this past winter found us in the ER a few times with bronchitis. Where Masen is active and into sports, Maddy is quiet, and likes her books and art supplies.

Edward was promoted after two IT staff members were let go. His hours changed a bit, and found him bring more work home, but he was happy with his position. He's talked a few times about going back to school one day - meaning after I'm done - to get a better degree, but isn't in a rush to do it.

As for me, I decided on law school. It was stressful - studying for the LSAT's and for my final year of classes, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized I could do the most good this way. I wasn't completely sure which area of law I wanted to practice, but I was excited to start. It took a bit to decide which schools to apply to, but eventually I settled on Seattle School of Law and just about lost my voice when my acceptance letter came. I think people three towns over heard me screaming with excitement.

But the biggest change arrived three weeks ago in the form of Charlotte Esme. She was a complete surprise to all of us. I'll never forget the look on Edward's face when I told him...

_I waited until the twins were asleep before I joined him in the living room. It was our Redbox movie night__,_ _since date nights had been harder to arrange. After I had Maddy and Masen, I had an IUD put in so we wouldn't have to worry about birth control, but I had it removed after finding out it had gotten infected. I wasn't entirely sure how he would take the news since having more children was something we hadn't even talked about._

"_So I picked _Hunger Games_, since everything else looked stupid or we've seen already," Edward said standing in front of the television._

"_I'm pregnant," I blurted out. Talk about word vomit. I wanted to ease him into it, but apparently I wasn't going to wait._

_Edward froze, and I started to panic. God, what if he didn't want more kids? What if he thought I did this on purpose? _

_He turned around to face me and I couldn't read him. His face was hard, his eyes distant. "What did you say?"_

"_I went to the clinic to get my implant put back in, and she did a pregnancy test, which apparently is standard, and it came back positive."_

_Before I could blink, Edward was in front of me, pulling me into his arms. A moment later his lips were on mine. I wished, then, that this would have been the way he reacted when I told him about the twins._

"_Tell me again," he said, pulling away from me just enough to look into my eyes._

"_I'm pregnant. It's unplanned and at a bad time, I know, but -"_

"_It _is _unplanned and the timing isn't perfect, but this is wonderful." I noticed how how his smile reached his eyes__,_ _that were twinkling in delight. This was such a change from the last time I told him I was pregnant.  
_  
"_Is it?" I asked, hesitantly._

"_Yes. I know the last time around was a disaster, but things will be different this time, I promise you."_

"_I can't... I can't go through that again."_

"_You won't. I promise I'll be better. I've learned from the past and I won't repeat it. I have too much to lose this time." I felt tears form in my eyes and fall onto my cheeks. "Tell me, what are you thinking? Why the tears?"_

"_I just...I wasn't sure what to expect when I told you. I was so worried about your reaction__,_ _that I haven't really thought about all of this yet. How are we going to do this? I mean, it's my senior year of college, I have my thesis to work on, law school to study for, plus we have the twins." I was suddenly overwhelmed with what a new baby meant right now. I had no idea how I would juggle everything._

"_We'll figure it out as we go - _together."

_As the months passed, Edward lived up to his word about being there. He came to every doctor appointment, made dinner and tended to the twins when I had to study; he also rubbed my feet and quizzed me for finals. It was so different this time around. The stress factor was pretty much non-existent and the constant worry that Edward wouldn't be there faded as the weeks passed. I actually enjoyed this pregnancy. _

"Dad. You're okay with this move, aren't you?" I asked.

"Yeah." His voice was distant, shaky - like he was on the verge of losing it. "I'm so proud of you. Graduated with honors, and now law school. I know you'll make a damn fine lawyer. It's going to be different, though, knowing you're up in Seattle and not a ten minute drive away."

"I know, but we'll come down on weekends."

"How often?"

"I can't promise every weekend."

"Two?" he asked, hopefully.

"One weekend for sure, and we'll try for two." As much as I wanted to come down every weekend to see our family, I knew it wasn't possible.

"You'll call and let me know when Mas' first game is, right?"

"Of course, and we'll be down for all the holidays. Esme already made us promise that."

Edward and Carlisle walked in. "Bella, we have to get going or we won't make it before dark."

"Okay." I waited until the two of them had left with the final boxes before I spoke again. "I guess this is it."

Dad walked over to me and pulled me into a tight, firm hug. Neither of us spoke, but held onto each other as if our world depended on it. I had never been too far away from him before - except for one year when I went to camp for a week, which turned out to be disastrous. I wasn't sure how long we stood there before I felt his shoulders start to shake. Mine started soon thereafter.

"If you need to talk, call me, okay? Two in the morning, I don't care. And even if you don't need to talk, call me anyway. I don't care if it's to tell me about something that seems trivial, just promise me you'll call," he insisted, still holding me close to him with a shaky voice.

"I promise, Dad. Once we're settled, we'll have you, Rebecca and CJ up."

"You have made me so very proud, Isabella Marie. So proud."

"Thank you, Dad, for everything. I wouldn't have been able to get here without you."

"Pretty sure you could have." He pulled away from me and I wiped the tears from his cheeks. "I tucked a little something into the diaper bag. Put it away for a rainy day, okay?"

I nodded. "I will."

We walked outside where we found everyone waiting for us. Dad gave Maddy and Masen a hug and kiss goodbye, checked on Charlotte who was already buckled into the car before joining Rebecca. I said goodbye to Carlisle and Esme and thanked them for all the help they've given as well. I looked over my shoulder and saw Edward walking over to my Dad and joined him.

"Chief Swan, I just wanted -"

"Take care of her, Edward," my dad interrupted. "Take care of her, that's all I expect."

"I will. I'll take care of all of them."

The two of them shook hands, with Dad finally looking Edward straight in the eye - his way of telling him without words that he respected Edward. Once they were done, I gave Dad one last hug.

"I love you, Dad. So much."

"I love you, too, baby girl. Now go live your new life."

As we drove off, I pulled the diaper bag onto my lap and dug around to see what dad had put in there. It wasn't hard to find - nestled between some diapers was a frame of the two of us. On one side was a picture of me from my first day of kindergarten; the other side was a picture of the two of us from my college graduation. I quickly rolled down the window and stuck my head out, only to see Dad standing in the middle of the road, watching us leave. I blew him a kiss as we turned the corner and sat back down in my seat. I wasn't sure what the future held for us, but I knew one thing - with Edward and the kids by my side, I could do anything. My life may have taken a drastic turn when I got pregnant, and I may not have ended up where I initially thought I would be, but this life was going to be perfect for us.

* * *

**  
****To KannnD - we've been together awhile now. I love that you kick my ass on dialogue tags - Lord knows I need that! Thank you for all the work you've done. 3******

**To Shadowed by Passion and Piperann_25 - thank you ladies for your support. Your suggestions and encouragement have helped me improve so much. 3 3******

**To BookishQua - that day you sent me your first review changed everything about my writing. This story would have gone in a different direction if it hadn't been for your PM's, comments, and suggestions. I truly feel honored to be working with you. 3******

**To my readers and reviewers - Thank you all so much for coming on this journey with me. You make me smile and excited to read your reviews.******

**I hope to see you all again in the future :)****  
**


	23. NOMINATED!

Nominated!

Hi everyone!

Just a quick note to tell you wonderful readers that TGML has been nominated for the top ten completed fics of September!

To whomever nominated my little fic, THANK YOU SO MUCH! It's been a crappy weekend that flopped over into a crappy Monday, so this made my day!

If you guys could take a quick minute and vote, I'd truly appreciate it. (take out the dot and the spaces)

twi fanfiction recs dot com /2012/10/01/ vote-for-your-top-ten-completed-fics-september-2012/


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